three squares greetings
March 27, 2008 8:03 AM   Subscribe

Three Squares Greetings is a new greeting card line designed to keep you in touch with your family members or friends who are in custody. NPR interview with the founder.
posted by Armitage Shanks (18 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
"New Year's Resolution: It’s that time of year again. While doing your time, resolve to make better choices..... "

"Just Do It: When you called recently, I wasn’t very sympathetic. I guess I’ve heard your promises to change too many times..... "

Daaaayyuuuuum. Now that's just cold blooded.
posted by John of Michigan at 8:13 AM on March 27, 2008

This is a brilliant solution to a burgeoning niche.
With our prisons brimming at record levels, I can envision a whole line of cottage industry ("cell-block" industry?) products.
Where do I invest?
posted by Dizzy at 8:17 AM on March 27, 2008

Like John of Michigan, I'm not so sure about some of the messages, but I agree with Dizzy--it does fill a possible niche.

I have a friend in federal prison, and cards are the easiest thing to send, though I tend to think he'd rather get 'normal' cards than ones specifically geared for inmates.
posted by tippiedog at 8:35 AM on March 27, 2008

Whoops. My sarcasm meter was offline. I see Dizzy's may not have been quite as serious as I initially read it.
posted by tippiedog at 8:36 AM on March 27, 2008

There's a thriving niche business around prison transportation services for the family members of inmates incarcerated in state facilities which tend to be in remote, rural locations. For instance, if you're from Philly and your family member is locked up at SCI Greene, you're looking at about a 6 hour ride to see them, and most families in Philly with incarcerated family members don't have the resources to travel that distance on their own.

You see flyers for these services at the police districts, welfare offices, and around criminal and municipal court here in Philly. Most of the services use passenger vans but sometimes you'll see a service that runs busses. I've heard some stories about how wild a job this is, the drivers apparently have to break up at least one fist fight between different families per trip, and since it takes all day to cycle through the system for visitations they generally leave at like 3 or 4 in the morning depending on how far they need to go.
posted by The Straightener at 8:38 AM on March 27, 2008

Is there a transcript of the interview available anywhere?

Also, there's a big part of me that wishes that ex-offenders were somehow involved in the production of these cards. Wishful thinking, I guess.
posted by lunit at 8:40 AM on March 27, 2008

I think a card like this would turn even the nicest inmate violent.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:42 AM on March 27, 2008

I was not being flip.
I think this and things like this are going to be a growth industry.
I'm not judging the appropriateness; I'm thinking I'd like to invest in a money-maker.
posted by Dizzy at 8:44 AM on March 27, 2008

They're like a four-dollar flip of the bird to the incarcerated.

posted by grubi at 8:48 AM on March 27, 2008

CONGRATULATIONS on your impending suicide!
posted by blue_beetle at 9:07 AM on March 27, 2008

Card exterior: Happy Birthday!

Card interior: Prison rape lol
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:41 AM on March 27, 2008

I want to send one to Blake, incarcerated.
posted by astruc at 9:49 AM on March 27, 2008

Not surprised taken the US has always been a land of entrepreneurship
posted by bargainhunter at 10:06 AM on March 27, 2008

I think that my buddy who's locked up would find this hilarious. Then again he'd probably just appreciate a letter more than a four dollar joke. In fact, I can't see anyone being happy about receiving one of these unless it was sent ironically.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:07 AM on March 27, 2008

A friend of mine and I actually sent this one to her mom in Federal prison:

This Mother's Day card
may seem kind of hokey
but Hallmark doesn't make one
for when your mom is in the pokey.

She loved it.
posted by Floydd at 11:53 AM on March 27, 2008

The idea is good, I guess, if you need to spend $4 to come up with a new and novel way to say You Suck but I'm a little taken aback by the harshness. I mean, come on:
It’s your birthday and I know that you’d rather be almost anywhere else right now. Hopefully, one year older will really mean one year wiser for you. Take care.
What a lovely sentiment. I mean, you know, nice. Friendly. Kind. Thoughtful. Your friend/relative/loved one is already in prison, card buyer! You really want to make him/her feel worse? Huh.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:21 PM on March 27, 2008

Also, from the Christmas card:

You had the choice to be “naughty or nice.” And you chose . . . . . . .

Oh well, now you have to do your time. But, Christmas won’t be the same without you here. Stay safe. Merry Christmas

That's just fucking tasteless and horrible. If I were in prison and got one of these, I'd save up cigarettes to get La Eme to put a hit out on whoever sent it.
posted by DecemberBoy at 1:43 PM on March 27, 2008

I listened to that interview, and I have to say that lady is a complete bitch.
She also works as a legal advisor for sheriff's department. So she's got the prisoner/loser attitude down cold.
posted by disclaimer at 3:54 PM on March 27, 2008

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