Stuff nobody likes: blogs about stuff people like
April 7, 2008 8:07 AM   Subscribe

Stuff Nobody Likes. A short list is provided for your convenience. [via mefi projects]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero (101 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Necco wafers.
posted by bookish at 8:11 AM on April 7, 2008


I'll be damned. I hate everything on that list.
posted by grubi at 8:11 AM on April 7, 2008


Good list, but I am surprised anal warts did not make it.
posted by Mr_Zero at 8:21 AM on April 7, 2008


I actually added that list to my list of stuff I don't like. There's something very meta/zen about doing that...I feel better.
posted by HuronBob at 8:22 AM on April 7, 2008


I've always wanted to do jury service (though from I've heard it's far less of a bureaucratic nightmare in the UK and there's a big opportunity to ker-ching! it on the expenses).

And I quite like rum and raisin.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:22 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


I've always wanted to do jury duty, too, although it would be nice to be able to schedule for a time that is convenient.

And I personally like getting a receipt with everything as well, even a pack of gum or a bottle of water.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:23 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


Stuff nobody likes #101: people who use the same blog template and writing style as a blogger who just got $350K for his stuff white people like blog.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:25 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


StuffPeopleLove.com

Entry #1: Being reminded of stuff they hate. Really working up a big thing over it. Love. It.
posted by DU at 8:26 AM on April 7, 2008


Napoleon liked body odor and James Joyce liked other people's farts. This doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just like to mention these facts every now and again.
posted by Kattullus at 8:27 AM on April 7, 2008 [3 favorites]


I... I like rum raisin...
posted by slimepuppy at 8:32 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


thirding the liking of rum n' raisin... should we form some kind of support group?
posted by leibniz at 8:39 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love rum raisin ice cream. I'm with HuronBob - I don't like this list.
posted by MythMaker at 8:40 AM on April 7, 2008


The unexpected pit bull in the parked 4x4 with open side window and blackened rear window loses top spot by a slim margin to said pit bull's owner, who tells you not to walk close to vehicles in parking lots.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:42 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


"So, if you want me (or anyone else) to respond to your profile in a way that doesn’t sound awkward and brain-damaged, please write something that’s at least quasi-original."

Whew. Bullet dodged.
posted by not_on_display at 8:43 AM on April 7, 2008


The list is pretty accurate.
posted by drezdn at 8:44 AM on April 7, 2008


And I'll pick up USA Today if I'm at the airport; I don't exactly run *screaming* from it...
posted by skyper at 8:44 AM on April 7, 2008


I hate trying again later, which is what the website is telling me to do right now.
posted by jquinby at 8:48 AM on April 7, 2008


This is more like "stuff white people don't like."
posted by 1 at 8:49 AM on April 7, 2008


Someone should add 'overloaded webservers' to that list.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:52 AM on April 7, 2008


Wow, is thing ever spot on, I hate 503 pages!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:55 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


You know who else didn't like stuff?



That's right... Despotic Little League Managers. Those guys are fuckers.

#7. Driving Into the Sun

Which to be fair, isn't nearly as bad as Crashing Into the Sun.
posted by quin at 8:55 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


Lots of little kids like Valentine's day. It's the biggest chocolate haul between Christmas and Easter.

Also, little cards with pictures of puppies.
posted by straight at 8:58 AM on April 7, 2008


Re: the banner. Throwing TV dinners and Hitler in the same bucket...that's a pretty damn big bucket.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:59 AM on April 7, 2008


It's kind of hard to believe that the word retarded hasn't been used to describe anything yet.

I have to agree with the Trix thing. I have always so wanted to kick their asses.
posted by iconomy at 9:02 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


I really wanted to like that, because I recognize a couple of contributor's names as MeFites I have a fairly high opinion of, but - honestly, guys, a lot of those were a little petty and mean-spirited.

Besides, you left out the "patriotic" subset of e-mail forwards, which is the worst kind of all.
posted by yhbc at 9:07 AM on April 7, 2008


Neat! I want to add the following to that list:

- Dr. Sanjay Gupta
- Infotainment
- The fact that 'infotainment' is okay with Firefox's spellcheck, but 'okay' and 'spellcheck' are not.
- Constipation
- Gypsypunk
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:14 AM on April 7, 2008


I've done jury duty. Twice. I enjoyed it both times. It helps that my employer pays for jury duty and I had fairly interesting cases both times.
posted by faceonmars at 9:16 AM on April 7, 2008


God damn I hate the G train.
posted by shmegegge at 9:19 AM on April 7, 2008


I'd add "paper jams" to that list. Hating on paper jams is pure comic gold, and you get to include an "Office Space" quote.

Maybe, some people love paper jams, I don't know. Maybe they can turn into an excuse? "Sorry boss, the printer returned a 'PAPER WRAPPED AROUND FUSER' error, can't work right now."

Still, I hate paper jams.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:32 AM on April 7, 2008


Boring, predictable blogrant style writing.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:33 AM on April 7, 2008


Is it too late for a meta-list of all Blogs People Like? A steady-running Things People Hate/Like in Review? There could be a little ticker or meter, which could be shunted into an RSS feed, and thence to a Yahoo widget.
posted by jquinby at 9:35 AM on April 7, 2008


Hey, I work with one of those contributors! I don't like him. Nobody does.
posted by piratebowling at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2008


Cash-only restaurants rule. BYOBs are cool, too. This list, not so much.
posted by fixedgear at 9:40 AM on April 7, 2008


I don't like anything at all. Do I win?
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 9:50 AM on April 7, 2008


Necco wafers rock. Unless you happen to be sleeping in a building right near the factory, and they are making the "chocomint" flavor first thing in the morning. Trust me.
posted by Ella Fynoe at 10:17 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


Online Dating Profiles Written By People Who’ve Obviously Never Read Anyone Else’s Online Dating Profile

Better those than the ones written by people who have read others dating profiles.

"I like movies, music and long walks on the beach. Friends tell me I look like Brad Pitt, only better looking."
posted by JaredSeth at 10:29 AM on April 7, 2008


Nobody doesn't like dustindiamond.com.
posted by Dr-Baa at 10:30 AM on April 7, 2008


I would've added Necco wafers, too, as well as Circus Peanuts, except that I know at least one person who likes them: my dad, who apparently has never met a candy he doesn't like. At least he came in handy when it was time to purge our trick-or-treat bags.
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:31 AM on April 7, 2008


Well maybe I don't like any of y'all, either! Y'all wanna be next on the list?! Huh?! Do ya?!


...I love you guys...
posted by Navelgazer at 10:40 AM on April 7, 2008


It's official, there is now a website for everything.
posted by pixelmech at 10:45 AM on April 7, 2008


robocop is bleeding said: "Neat! I want to add the following to that list: Dr. Sanjay Gupta"

I think Dr. Gupta is very handsome and I find his McMedicine approach to be comforting -- in that I assume that the masses probably benefit from it, which allows me to feel both smugly superior, and wildly grateful for my internet access and health insurance. I'm aware that I've just admitted a complex relationship with a television celebrity doctor that I've never met.

Things that apparently other people hate that I also like: brown Necco Wafers, BYOBs. And I secretly yearn to get called for jury duty, and am sad when I hear people complain about it or arrange to ditch it, because I feel that it demonstrates the Continuing Crisis.

Also,

Dear Omniscient Internet Entity Amassing Scary Amounts of Information About Us In Order to Profile Us as Consumers, Social Contributors, and Possible Criminals: I realize that this comment validates some pre-determined algorithm signifying the end of days, and I acknowledge my responsibility. Please spare my family. TIA.
posted by pineapple at 10:51 AM on April 7, 2008


1) Drivers who tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever, causing everyone behind them to tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever.

2) Being stuck in a long line is bad. Sure. But being stuck in a long line with whiners who complain to everyone in earshot about how long the line is even worse.

3) Screaming kids are bad, but they have an excuse. Screaming neighbors are worse, Especially the ones who beat their girlfriends.

Said girlfriends then come running to your place for shelter and first aid as their psycho boyfriend pounds on your door, demanding to be let in. You wait him out, and when he leaves, you call a locksmith and escort your tiny, frightened, bloodied neighbor back to her house and stand guard with a crowbar while her locks are changed. You go to bed around 4AM, when the adrenaline finally wears off.

Not two weeks later, she takes him back, gives him the new key, and he's your neighbor again.

Doncha just hate it when that happens? Yeah, me too.
posted by edverb at 10:57 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


#15. The “Grocer’s Apostrophe”

I once spotted the "Grocer's Apostrophe" on the sign for a tattoo parlor in Brooklyn. I forget the actual name, but the sign said something like ....

______ TATTOO'S

Also, in the window was a FOR RENT sign. For some reason the tattoo shop had gone out of business.
posted by R. Mutt at 11:03 AM on April 7, 2008 [3 favorites]


When I read #7. Driving Into the Sun on the short list, I thought it meant literally driving into the sun, and I thought to myself: Surely we can't be certain that no one likes that?

Then I realized that it was only a metaphorical viking.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 11:05 AM on April 7, 2008


All these things are disqualified by the fact that without them people would have no reason to bitch and/or feel superior.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:05 AM on April 7, 2008


1) Drivers who tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever, causing everyone behind them to tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever

I've been compiling a list. It's pretty extensive at this point, but when the revolution comes and we stick these fuckers up against the wall, I'm going to line them up in such a way that when I shoot the first one, he falls back onto the second person in line, then I'm going to scream "You see how that works? You see how one person in the beginning can affect everyone behind them?! If you had learned that sooner, you wouldn't be here!"

Not that I have any bitterness about this, or anything.
posted by quin at 11:08 AM on April 7, 2008 [9 favorites]


People. If you like an item on the list of "Stuff Nobody Likes," you're clearly a nobody. But don't worry. All you nobodies can be friends and eat rum raisin ice cream together at Dustin Diamond's house on Valentine's Day.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:15 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


Then I realized that it was only a metaphorical viking.

Sorry. We'll be sure to vike you for real next time.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:16 AM on April 7, 2008


It's pretty extensive at this point, but when the revolution comes and we stick these fuckers up against the wall, I'm going to line them up in such a way that when I shoot the first one, he falls back onto the second person in line, then I'm going to scream "You see how that works? You see how one person in the beginning can affect everyone behind them?! If you had learned that sooner, you wouldn't be here!"

That's backwards. You need to shoot the last person in line first and let the people fall forward, so the original brake tapper has the weight of a trillion dead bodies on top of him. Then, THEN, you can yell at him.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:22 AM on April 7, 2008 [2 favorites]


Heh. I hate it when the Internet is wrong about stuff I like.

To all you haters: this site is just a bunch of guys who got bored and started talking about how silly the "stuff * people like" sites are and decided this might be a way to subvert them and make fun of them, or at least something to pass the time. I suspect beer and/or other substances may have been involved.

So just, like, relax and take it for what it is.
posted by jeffamaphone at 11:40 AM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


meh, I'm one of the contributors, and I'd say snark away.

I mean, it would be pretty hypocritical for me to come out against snark, as a contributor to a blog called "Stuff Nobody Likes."
posted by Afroblanco at 11:42 AM on April 7, 2008


jeffamaphone is pretty close in his assessment, actually, except that it all happened over a gmail thread.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:47 AM on April 7, 2008


edverb writes "1) Drivers who tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever, causing everyone behind them to tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever."

What should top that is tailgaters, which is one thing that can cause me to tap on my breaks, just to make sure the tailgater is aware of why it's not a good thing to snuggle up to my bumper.
posted by krinklyfig at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2008


I like many of the Necco wafers except the chocolate ones. The chocolate ones are no damn good.
posted by everichon at 12:13 PM on April 7, 2008


1) Drivers who tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever, causing everyone behind them to tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever

Except to piss off the tailgater who never learned the two-second-space rule in Driver's ed.
On Preview: what krinklyfig said.
posted by Popular Ethics at 12:15 PM on April 7, 2008


To all you haters: this site is just a bunch of guys who got bored and started talking about how silly the "stuff * people like" sites are and decided this might be a way to subvert them and make fun of them, or at least something to pass the time. I suspect beer and/or other substances may have been involved.

man, remember when that was all there was to the story behind somethingawful and portaofevil and stileproject, etc...

"well, we just got really tired of all those "portal of awesome!" sites that were popular. so we made one that was "portal of stupid" just to fuck around one time when we were high."
posted by shmegegge at 12:19 PM on April 7, 2008


I once spotted the "Grocer's Apostrophe" on the sign for a tattoo parlor in Brooklyn. I forget the actual name, but the sign said something like ....

______ TATTOO'S


Grammatically correct, perhaps, but only if it were owned by this guy.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:29 PM on April 7, 2008


I agree with pretty much all of the choices, other than the G train. If there's something that annoys New Yorkers that much, it's all right with me.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:45 PM on April 7, 2008


To all you haters: this site is just a bunch of guys who got bored and started talking about how silly the "stuff * people like" sites are and decided this might be a way to subvert them and make fun of them, or at least something to pass the time. I suspect beer and/or other substances may have been involved.

So just, like, relax and take it for what it is.
posted by jeffamaphone


I remember a time when you could give a negative opinion and not be labeled a hater. I blame mtv.

I can appreciate that it was nothing serious, just a couple of guys goofing off, and, honestly it comes off that way. So mission accomplished.

But don't put it out there if you're not ready for differing opinions. The comments have been pretty mild for something that's basically a ripoff of a ripoff. I suspect they would have been much harsher if the authors had not been mefi members.

So just, like, relax and take it for what it is.
posted by justgary at 12:48 PM on April 7, 2008


What should top that is tailgaters, which is one thing that can cause me to tap on my breaks, just to make sure the tailgater is aware of why it's not a good thing to snuggle up to my bumper.

Yep...while I'm cruising way back, regulating the distance between my car and the one ahead of me by keeping my foot off the accelerator...you guys are up ahead, alternately tailgating and braking on each other. All I see from my ten to fifteen car lengths back are your red brake lights and his. Occasionally you're forcing me to brake too, no matter how much room I give to the impatient and/or petty drivers up ahead, like yourselves.

And because you're not the only shortsighted fools playing this petty little game on the roads, the rest of us get stuck in a traffic jam caused not by lane closure, or accident, or even traffic volume -- but by spite. Your spite, and their impatience. Once in a while, the two of you will crash into each other, delaying yourselves and everyone behind you even more, and ruining your cars and your days in the process.

To which I say, thanks a lot. This is why we can't have nice things. Don't take it personally that I hate you both. It's nothing personal, krinklyfig, strictly policy.

At times I am tempted to believe that the entire system of two dimensional, point-to-point linear automobile traffic is a senseless, productivity-killing plot designed to do nothing more than to sell gasoline, but that's a post for another day. Usually I entertain these macro-thoughts so I don't dwell on the imbeciles in front of me.
posted by edverb at 12:54 PM on April 7, 2008 [3 favorites]


I am quietly pleased, and surprised, to not find myself on this list. Maybe I should work on my dating profile! (I love to laugh. Hard! At my family and friends!)
posted by SPrintF at 1:00 PM on April 7, 2008


Also, I like the suggestions in this thread - especially the Necco wafers and the taillight thing. If any of you would like to contribute, feel free to send me a MeFi mail.
posted by Afroblanco at 1:01 PM on April 7, 2008


edverb writes "Occasionally you're forcing me to brake too, no matter how much room I give to the impatient and/or petty drivers up ahead, like yourselves."

Hey, if I have to slam on my breaks for an emergency, the tailgater will find out how much of a problem it is. And so will you. The tailgater's insurance company will be footing the bill. If I'm going 50 and you're less than one car length behind me, I'm not going to make it easy for you to keep riding my ass. It's not a game. It's called keeping the guy behind me at a safe distance.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:07 PM on April 7, 2008


It's not a game. It's called keeping the guy behind me at a safe distance.

Krinklyfig, that's why "keep right, pass left" laws exist. If someone is riding your ass, the best outcome for you and the people behind you is to change lanes and let the driver pass you. Instead of tapping your brakes, why not move over?

I hope you're not that person driving in the passing lane, and, upon someone approaching from behind, becomes stubborn and insists on holding their ground, and tapping their brakes. Because that person is an asshole. Every bit as much the asshole as the tailgater.

Neither of them own the road. Both act as if they do.
posted by edverb at 1:27 PM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


No list of this kind is complete without post office/DMV lines.
posted by blucevalo at 1:42 PM on April 7, 2008


Waiting for the bathroom. It sucks.
posted by lunit at 1:54 PM on April 7, 2008


The site reminds me of the "Friends" episode (yes, I am a fan of "Friends," what are you looking at?) where Mr. Heckles, the cranky upstairs neighbor, dies and the Friends find his Book of Grievances. I've always wanted to keep a Book of Grievances, but it's too exhausting writing everything down.
posted by amyms at 2:01 PM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, if none of them would be missed, you can make a little list.
posted by A-Train at 2:02 PM on April 7, 2008


I know why those east coast/NYC bodegas put coffee in paper bags.

It's because you all live in hell, and you obviously did something to deserve it. Something very bad. This is why you get shitty, scorching hot coffee in little styrofoam thimbles in soggy paper bags, with a straw. With a fucking straw! This is why you get the G train, and New Yorker magazine. This is why you get Donald Trump, and so many of the bad things on that list.

What did you do, sinner? Oh, what did you do!? It must have been terrible.
posted by loquacious at 2:03 PM on April 7, 2008


This is why you get the G train, and New Yorker magazine.

Nothing wrong with the New Yorker. New York Magazine, however, is a different matter entirely.
posted by Afroblanco at 2:08 PM on April 7, 2008


You know what I don't like?

People who think they know what I don't like.




Oh. And diverticulosis. That sucks too.
posted by Samizdata at 2:32 PM on April 7, 2008


Please add to the list: "Walking through a spider's web."
posted by ColdChef at 2:39 PM on April 7, 2008


"Walking through a spider's web."

That does kinda suck, but from a distance it looks like you're having a desperate karate fight with an invisible person, which might at least amuse someone.
posted by Divine_Wino at 3:17 PM on April 7, 2008 [4 favorites]


edverb writes "Krinklyfig, that's why 'keep right, pass left' laws exist. If someone is riding your ass, the best outcome for you and the people behind you is to change lanes and let the driver pass you. Instead of tapping your brakes, why not move over? "

You don't live here in Taos, where most of the major roads have one lane each direction, including the (55mph) highway I take on my daily commute. There is passing on some sections, into the other oncoming lane, but during commute times it's almost impossible to find an opening.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:43 PM on April 7, 2008


They lost me when they claimed Necco waifers were English...

New England is not the same thing as England, guys.
posted by davros42 at 3:55 PM on April 7, 2008


Getting A Receipt For Every Goddamn Thing That You Buy

The late Mitch Hedberg had a funny bit on this subject. I'm parpaphrasing, but it went something like this: "I bought a donut, and the cashier gave me a receipt. I just don't see a scenario in which I have to prove I bought a donut. I give you the money, and you give me the donut. End of transaction. We do not need to bring pen and paper into this."
posted by Devils Slide at 4:12 PM on April 7, 2008


Grrr paraphrasing.
posted by Devils Slide at 4:13 PM on April 7, 2008


#32. Online Dating Profiles Written By People Who’ve Obviously Never Read Anyone Else’s Online Dating Profile

Well, I agree with his list here. One phrase I came to loathe: "I just want to live life to the fullest."

Gastronomically, though, the English aren’t all that impressive.

However, oh come on... picking on English food is so cliche and it's just plain wrong. Roast lamb and yorkshire puddings? Double chocolate stout? A cream tea? A Balti curry? What's not to like?

Is there cheap, crappy confectionery? Uh yeah. Is that exclusive to England. Uh no.
posted by Zinger at 4:15 PM on April 7, 2008


1) Drivers who tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever, causing everyone behind them to tap their brakes for no reason what-so-fucking-ever.

Yes! You have no idea how much angst this causes me! Unnecessary fucking braking! I must exclaim some more!
posted by liquorice at 4:28 PM on April 7, 2008


I HATE GENERALIZATIONS.

ALL GENERALIZATIONS.

EXCEPT THIS ONE.

And I liked jury duty. Especially the one time I did it while working for a company which compensated me for it. I got an eight workday break from my usual routine and was dropped into the middle of a real-life murder case that was more dramatic than the average "Law & Order" episode (except that it didn't make headlines in L.A. where there are too many murders for all of them to make headlines, so it would never be 'ripped from the headlines'). I learned a lot during that case about misplaced loyalty, keeping the courage of your convictions (from another juror who made me feel a little ashamed of myself) and the fundamental and fatal (sometimes literally) flaws in the American so-called-Justice System. It was, essentially, an opportunity to pick up valuable life experience from other people you otherwise might never meet (of course, with criminal defendants, it's mostly what NOT to do, but also the parties of the court and the other jurors). I recommend it to anyone. SERIOUSLY.
posted by wendell at 4:54 PM on April 7, 2008


You don't live here in Taos, where most of the major roads have one lane each direction, including the (55mph) highway I take on my daily commute. There is passing on some sections, into the other oncoming lane, but during commute times it's almost impossible to find an opening.

Fair enough.
posted by edverb at 4:58 PM on April 7, 2008


re: unnecessary breaking

When I was young and reckless I would amuse myself, when stopped at lights with a long line of cars behind me, by moving my car a few centimeters forward and then watch the entire line of cars behind me also move a few centimeters forward. O callousness of youth! How I laughed! LAUGHED I tell you.

I was a lonely, friendless teenager
posted by Kattullus at 5:04 PM on April 7, 2008


You have no idea how much angst this causes me!

Yes I do. 3.2 angst.

Kee-rist, I hate it when people assume I have no idea about things that I'm actually quite well informed about.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:04 PM on April 7, 2008 [1 favorite]


For tail-gating, I utilize a device called the reverse cow catcher. It looks like a cow catcher, but it attaches to a solenoid on the back of the car. If a car comes within one car length of my car, I activate the device and it "gently" pushes the other car back.

If that doesn't work, I press the oil slick button, but then sometimes I cause my own repair truck to spin out, and that's never good.
posted by drezdn at 5:25 PM on April 7, 2008


I like Circus Peanuts and I don't care who knows it.
posted by Dizzy at 5:32 PM on April 7, 2008


ROU_Xenophobe:

Yes I do. 3.2 angstroms.

There. Fixed that for you.
posted by Samizdata at 5:49 PM on April 7, 2008


Plus, not only do I occasionally eat Circus Peanuts and Necco Wafers (sweet tooth declining as I age ungracefully), but also those nifty little spots of candy on the wax paper...
posted by Samizdata at 5:53 PM on April 7, 2008


Instead of tapping your brakes, why not move over?

First of all, you're assuming that this is happening when there's a lane to the right. It happens under every circumstance. Second, no, I'm not going to change into the right lane for you just so you can then tailgate the guy in front of me, you're not a damn ambulance.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:54 PM on April 7, 2008


See, I think some of you guys are missing the point. It's fun to haggle over what's on the list, and what's not on the list, and What James Joyce Liked to Smell and whatever, but the writing about the individual items on the list, my humble opinion, is pretty damn funny. I about busted some of my respiratory equipment trying to read out loud the entry on Necco Wafers, I was laughing so hard. And the surrealist manifesto thingy. Best laugh I had all day -
posted by newdaddy at 7:04 PM on April 7, 2008


Yes I do. 3.2 angstroms.

There. Fixed that for you.


Naw, they can be changed again and again, so they'd be angstrams.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:15 PM on April 7, 2008


People chewing with their mouths open, smacking their lips, and talking with their mouths full.

*shudder*
posted by louche mustachio at 7:20 PM on April 7, 2008


but also those nifty little spots of candy on the wax paper...

Oh my god. How can you possibly eat those things? I remember my parents used to give those to us as kids, and they were awful! What a terrible idea for a candy. You always got some of the paper still stuck to the candy. Who the hell wants to eat paper?

But that's nothing compared to the worst candy of all time - tootsie rolls. My god, what an awful disappointment. They purported to be chocolate, yet they looked like turds and tasted like wet socks. Yuck! And then they'd try to disguise the tootsie roll in a lollipop, so you're thinking, "mmmm, lollipop," but then you get to the center and you're hit with the tootsie turd. Yuck!

And while they're not the worst possible candy, I think we need to give an honorable mention to kinder eggs. Gee, what could possibly be better than chocolate covered plastic? And to make matters better, they're filled with tiny chokeable pieces of plastic. It's like they want us to die or something.

No, kids, not all candies are rewards. Some are just punishment.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:08 PM on April 7, 2008


>Roast lamb and yorkshire puddings?

You are joking, right?
posted by pompomtom at 12:26 AM on April 8, 2008


What is the deal with airplane peanuts?
posted by loiseau at 12:49 AM on April 8, 2008


Yes I do. 3.2 angst.

Kee-rist, I hate it when people assume I have no idea about things that I'm actually quite well informed about.


More like 6.4.

Sorry, dear, you have may have an idea about the thing but you have no idea about me.
posted by liquorice at 4:24 AM on April 8, 2008


First they came for the circus peanuts but I did not speak up for I did not like circus peanuts.
Then they came for the necco wafers and I again I remained silent because I had no idea what necco wafers are.
And finally they came for the kinder eggs and when I tried to speak up I realized I was choking on little plastic airplane.

getting a kinder egg was such a thrill when I was a kid... chocolate and a toy! what can be better
posted by Kattullus at 6:21 AM on April 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Classic, Kattullus. I also view the Kinder Egg as "candy + toy = wheee!" instead of "choking hazard."
posted by pineapple at 6:26 AM on April 8, 2008


I dunno, maybe I'm being overly critical of kinder eggs. I guess I had a bad first experience with them. I didn't know what to expect, so I just bit into it, thinking that it was like a Cadbury egg. But instead of finding delicious buttercream in the middle, I find.... a plastic shell. At that point, I was so pissed off and disappointed that I didn't even bother with the little plastic bits that were inside. I felt like I had totally been bunked.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:49 AM on April 8, 2008


A Circus Peanut will never break your heart.
posted by Dizzy at 9:24 AM on April 8, 2008


* Cancer
* Getting Arrested
* Accidental Amputation

Circus Peanuts = delicious processed marshmallow
posted by mrgrimm at 7:29 PM on April 8, 2008


Instead of tapping your brakes, why not move over?

First of all, you're assuming that this is happening when there's a lane to the right. It happens under every circumstance. Second, no, I'm not going to change into the right lane for you just so you can then tailgate the guy in front of me, you're not a damn ambulance.


I think there's a disconnect here.

...

We have some people against tailgaters vs. some people against drivers who unnecessarily activate their brake lights.

Those are two totally different drivers. Sometimes the tailgaters are also the ones who hits their brakes too much because they're driving too fast or not paying attention.

The people against drivers who unnecessarily activate their brake lights are probably urban/suburban commuters who are used to traveling in high traffic at 40-60 mph during rush hour. The more people tap their brakes unnecessarily, the lower the traveling speed for everyone behind them. It adds up.

It's apparent whenever I drive east on the SF-Oakland Bay Bridge. Drivers don't know or pay attention to the downhill part at the end, so they have to use their brakes because they end up going too fast -> drivers behind them react and also active brake lights -> much slower traffic than possible at the start of the bridge. Is it a big deal? Probably not. What's big?

Instinctively, I agree with those who hate the brakers, but when I think harder about it I wonder why. Time is money/invaluable? After more consideration I must side with the drivers who tap their brakes. Slow down. Feel the road rage gushing through your body and channel it into song or prayer.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:16 AM on April 9, 2008


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