It is widely known that cats are attractive creatures that can provide many hours of entertainment
April 13, 2008 2:12 AM   Subscribe

Corporal cuddling!
posted by =^^= at 2:28 AM on April 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Haha, the I loved the use-your-cat-as-a-bagpipe technique.
posted by jouke at 2:33 AM on April 13, 2008

Okay, that was magnificent. My enjoyment of that video MIGHT have been amplified by me being overly tired, but I highly suspect its level of awesomeocity was authentic.

I'm also totally with jouke; that bagpipe technique would totally get used on my cat if I didn't already know what the outcome would be.

Yes, it WOULD closely resemble a scene from scanners.
posted by Stunt at 2:39 AM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh noes, don't feed the kitties tuna! (unless it's cat tuna with added vitamins and taurine) Cats can develop yellow fat disease from having too much tuna, and one of mine did it was very sad. See connolly animal clinic
posted by dabitch at 2:40 AM on April 13, 2008 [9 favorites]

dabitch writes "Oh noes, don't feed the kitties tuna!"

Further proof engineers should not take care of living beings!
posted by elpapacito at 2:49 AM on April 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Huh, I did not know that. Thanks, dabitch, very informative.
posted by Stunt at 3:04 AM on April 13, 2008

Great! I loved the measuring and explanations thereof. While watching this, my cat decided chewing on the corner of a plastic garbage bag was a great idea, must remove it from his reach to avoid plastic performance art and regurgitation!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 3:05 AM on April 13, 2008

My cat is typing this.
Disease be damned-- Tuna. NOW.
posted by Dizzy at 3:09 AM on April 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Apparently they don't feed the kitties enough tuna to even come close to causing problems--notice the pantry.
posted by Peach at 3:40 AM on April 13, 2008

Hey, I use corporal cuddling on our cats! Also, I make the kids use it on each other if they've been fighting.
posted by DU at 3:52 AM on April 13, 2008

cat yodeling is awesome.
posted by gen at 5:02 AM on April 13, 2008

Those have to be the most tolerant cats in the world. If I tried any of that with mine, I'd be down at least one eye by now.
posted by aihal at 6:20 AM on April 13, 2008


and, in case you missed it linked in the window next to this video...
Sparta Kitty
posted by HuronBob at 6:23 AM on April 13, 2008

dabitch, aren't you being a little alarmist? From your link: "When a cat's diet consists mostly of tuna fish that is not commercially formulated as cat food, the cat becomes deficient in vitamin E." (Emphasis added.) It doesn't sound to me like giving them an occasional treat would cause any problems.

Great video!
posted by languagehat at 6:30 AM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

awesome double plus ++++ yay!. forwarded.
posted by localhuman at 6:43 AM on April 13, 2008

Cats are truly Beast of the Web.
posted by RussHy at 6:55 AM on April 13, 2008

Next up: A Non-Engineer's Guide to Interior Design.
posted by ericb at 7:22 AM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

The cats are ace, obviously, but can you imagine trying to sit through a presentation from that guy? I foresee a 100% hit ratio on drool and faces on desks...
posted by Brockles at 7:29 AM on April 13, 2008

I could hardly love this more; the deadpan is perfect. And I do practice corporal cuddling on my little cat; the only thing she hates more than the vacuum is being cuddled.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:51 AM on April 13, 2008

That was so awesome. The performance art bits were my favourite. Possibly because I have a similar cardboard box artist myself.
posted by sandraregina at 8:01 AM on April 13, 2008

This was exactly what I needed to see at this moment. The corporal cuddling (a technique I have used to varying degrees of success on my boyfriends) started me giggling and when he started in with the cat yodeling I completely lost it.
posted by LeeJay at 8:10 AM on April 13, 2008

The older guy was cute, as were his cats.
posted by Locative at 8:14 AM on April 13, 2008

Dan's Data does a technical review of a kitten. (Don't miss the feature comparison with a puppy, a baby, and a video card.)
posted by Class Goat at 8:42 AM on April 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

Class Goat, Dan's Data review was adorable but I dispute his claim that babies do not have multiple rendering pipelines. I just recently spent some time with my baby cousin and she came equipped with several pipelines, all of which eventually rendered all over my shirt.
posted by LeeJay at 8:56 AM on April 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

What?! Single link YouTube? Flagged as... as... ADORABLE AND FREAKIN' AWESOME!!!!!

Zoe looks just like my cat, Kitty. Only Kitty is way fatter. And my daughter practices corporal cuddling, which fills Kitty with all sorts of annoyance, especially since she does nothing to deserve it.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 9:18 AM on April 13, 2008

KAT FUD! -----------> oh please, oh please
posted by Bonzai at 9:20 AM on April 13, 2008 [3 favorites]

I wish my cats would eat cheap tuna - now they're addicted to Trader Joe's unsalted tongol. One dose and they're out for hours, and then they wake up and demand a new fix. The shit is more expensive than gasoline!

We've tried the yodeling technique with our Maine Coons. It is not for the amateur cat owner.
posted by Ber at 9:31 AM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

Clearly any amount of energy recovered from the cats will be a net loss compared with caloric intake. Further, the balloons are a poor storage mechanism, and everyone knows the difficulty of converting static charge to a reliable energy source. Some engineering video.
posted by AppleSeed at 9:32 AM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

That was super cute. It's true, there's nothing a cat hates more than being kissed.
posted by Jess the Mess at 9:43 AM on April 13, 2008

Great script. Great shots. Great editing. Great acting. Crap, I like a senseless single link youtube post.
posted by lothar at 9:46 AM on April 13, 2008

Cat yodeling is way funnier than it has any right to be.
posted by Space Kitty at 9:51 AM on April 13, 2008

languagehat, not trying to be alarmist at all, just sending information - keep all tuna kitty-designed tuna. Tuna really is like kitty-cocaine, some cats may refuse all other foods in favour of tuna once they get a taste, might as well let other cat owners know that it can make the tuna-addicted kitty very sick and the results of that are not fun to watch (they go insane).
posted by dabitch at 10:49 AM on April 13, 2008

We call corporal cuddling tough love. You have to shout TOUGH LOVE while you're doing it.
posted by sugarfish at 10:55 AM on April 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

This video is the reason the internet exists. Thanks a lot!
posted by malthas at 11:06 AM on April 13, 2008

Tuna really is like kitty-cocaine, some cats may refuse all other foods in favour of tuna once they get a taste

Huh, I did not know this. Our cats love it when they get it (quite rarely, since I don't eat seafood and my wife only indulges in it occasionally), but it doesn't make them disdain their regular food. Thanks for the explanation. (I guess it's like people and booze: most can have a drink now and then, but some take one swig and dive right into the gutter...)
posted by languagehat at 11:20 AM on April 13, 2008

My kitty licks tunafish off of Kate Moss' glistening abs.
Is this ok?
Advise, please.
posted by Dizzy at 11:43 AM on April 13, 2008

We do the corporal cuddling in my house. I don't think it's any more or less effective than any other technique, but it does give one an enormous sense of self-satisfaction to be doing something to the cat that 1) causes no pain, and 2) they absolutely hate.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:04 PM on April 13, 2008

When we do the corporal cuddling thing with Soren, he doesn't yodel. He quacks like a duck.

Great video. I laughed so hard I cried, and I really shouldn't have been eating yogurt when I started watching this.
posted by rtha at 1:24 PM on April 13, 2008

You have to spare the rod or spoil the kitty. Ours were feral kittens, so continual forced snuggling was mandatory. Yup, they call me the catbreaker.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:09 PM on April 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Just be careful how much you tell your kitty-cats. It might get you into a bit of hot water.

'Cat confession' man not guilty -- "A 72-year-old man who prosecutors claimed had 'confessed' to his cats has been cleared of killing his partner."
posted by ericb at 2:49 PM on April 13, 2008

Bonzai: my wife and I have not spelled or pronounced "cat fud" in any other way, shape or manner for 17 years.
posted by yhbc at 3:09 PM on April 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

hmm. cats and engineers.

i do wonder if this might help to explain all of those videos of cats playing the theremin.
posted by wreckingball at 5:03 PM on April 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

All these years, missing out on the Cat Yodeling!
posted by Alles at 6:17 PM on April 13, 2008

We call corporal cuddling tough love

In my house, it's known as 'squish the kitty' which involves taking the recalcitrant offender and laying partially on top of them while saying "I squish you!" over and over. This indignity will be taken with great offense by three of our cats, but the fourth one kind of likes it and just lays there purring. We find it's not a great deterrent for that one.

I've been airing performances of cat yodeling for years now. But I can only do it on two of our cats; first, they get offered up as a sacrifice to the ceiling gods (hold them over your head) this puts them in the right frame of mind to 'sing'. Basically, the trick is to get them irritated enough to talk, but not so angry that they get off the bed and leave. Then, it's a bit of poking and squeezing to get the appropriate pitch and tone.

As I said, it only works on two of my cats. The other two view it as affection and, again, just lay there purring.

Cats are weird.
posted by quin at 6:33 PM on April 13, 2008 [8 favorites]

At first I was like: ...

But then: I LOLed.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:38 PM on April 13, 2008

My cat died, you insensitive bastards.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:14 AM on April 14, 2008 [2 favorites]

huh, i didn't know that tuna could be bad for kitties. thanks for the heads up.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:32 AM on April 14, 2008

Cat yodeling...excellent. Must try this new form of cat torture and see how it measures up to the dreaded Snoot Kisses.
posted by puddinghead at 6:08 PM on April 14, 2008

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