You're Not My Father
April 16, 2008 5:55 PM   Subscribe

You're Not My Father

Created by Paul Slocum.

From the project PDF Document:

This video project is composed of a sequence of recreations of a 10 second scene from the television show, Full House, overlaid with a set of sound loops from the scene's original music.

The crews who re-shot the scene were recruited through Internet message boards and Craigslist, and each of the original 10 crews were paid $150, using a commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., for Networked Music Review. The project included participants from Austin, Cincinnati, Chicago, Dallas, Denton, London, and San Francisco.

The following pages of this document are the instructions that were issued to the participants who responded to my ads and message board posts. Although the commission money has been exhausted, I am still accepting submissions to the project. If you are interested in participating, follow the instructions in the following pages of this document for shooting the scene and delivering the footage, and I will add the footage to the video sequence online and in any current or future gallery exhibitions.
posted by defenestration (54 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
It is like watching an entire evening of "Must See TV" in 5 minutes flat.
After a while, I just stopped fighting it and melted into a nice puddle of goo.
Thanks, defenestration!
posted by Dizzy at 6:01 PM on April 16, 2008

Well, an "A" for concept, anyway.

Better content might have been from a show with some real dramatic or comedic or other merit, though.

How about 10 different Amish families re-enacting the "You're not my father" clip from Star Wars?
posted by darkstar at 6:02 PM on April 16, 2008

posted by ColdChef at 6:03 PM on April 16, 2008

This cost $1500? The real art here is how they pitched this and actually got money for it.
posted by doctor_negative at 6:08 PM on April 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

I couldn't get through it. Dull. And I like this sort of thing!
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 6:09 PM on April 16, 2008

Also, this would have been funnier with monkeys.
posted by doctor_negative at 6:09 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Was there a point to this? Please tell me my tax dollars were untouched.
posted by Cardinal Fang! at 6:20 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yay Paul Slocum! If you haven't listened to Treewave, you're missing out. Music made on a Commodore 64 = awesomely nerdcore.

I never watched Full House... I think I was too old. Honestly, some of Paul's work at the And/Or is better than this in my opinion.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 6:24 PM on April 16, 2008

Hmm, minimalism, only with dramatics. Not bad.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 6:25 PM on April 16, 2008

This is the Warholizer for TV. Original pop media, sampled, bandpass filtered, decorated, and iterated.

Worthwhile experiment, but not doing much for me.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:32 PM on April 16, 2008

Idea sounds good on paper, not so good translated to video.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:38 PM on April 16, 2008

This guy is also not the father! Neither is he!

This guy is not the mama!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:38 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Though my partner looked over my shoulder while I watched this, and after asking me to clear the dinner table, I yelled that he's not my father, which got some laughs. So it was worth watching, I guess.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:45 PM on April 16, 2008

When it comes to 14 year old D.J........ Joey, you ARE NOT the FATHER!
posted by yoyoceramic at 6:46 PM on April 16, 2008

being an artist must be really difficult.
posted by joe defroster at 6:51 PM on April 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

In my house we ate off of paper plates for every meal so we never had to clear the dinner table. We just rolled up the paper tablecloth and chucked the whole big blob into the trash compactor.
Then we would listen to theremin music and go to bed.
I am not kidding. (My parents were, uhhh, progressive artsy types. Or something...)
So I would LOVE to "clear the table".
posted by Dizzy at 6:55 PM on April 16, 2008 [3 favorites]

someone get that girl a father so she can be told what to do!

(i found this oddly entrancing - kind of like the video equivalent of some kind of ambient house - why do i get the feeling that this kind of thing is going to become popular?)
posted by pyramid termite at 6:56 PM on April 16, 2008

Fun, but it needs more goat. Or mountain.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:12 PM on April 16, 2008

He's not my father either.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:13 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

i was having aural hallicinations thanks to the video, then i went to Paul Slocom's site and got some visual hallicinations to top it off. now i don't even know who my mother is.
posted by hazel at 7:18 PM on April 16, 2008

My interpretation:

Faux-Joey: DJ!

Faux-DJ: You can't tell me what to do, you're not my father! *flees*

Faux-Joey: *sits dejectedly, clenches fists*


[REPEAT 30x]
posted by flatluigi at 7:29 PM on April 16, 2008

I really admire the way Dave Coulier unfolded his hands to make two emotion-packed fists, clearly conveying beloved Uncle Joey's deep-yet-masculine concern as only a seasoned thespian could truly bring home. Bravo, Mr. Duplicity. Bravo indeed.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:44 PM on April 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

I saw this a little while back, and was left scratching my head then, too.

It seems to me that whatever might have been there interpret–be it the line as perceived in different contexts, or about the nuances of play between two actors, or even the perceived 'genuineness' of the original, when, in fact, it is every bit as meaningless and manufactured as the remakes–is utterly defeated by the decision to overlay the original audio on top of the audio of the amateur clips.
posted by Mr. Anthropomorphism at 8:24 PM on April 16, 2008

Oh Quicktime, why do you hate my Firefox so much? You crash me every time. Silly Quicktime.
posted by Eekacat at 8:32 PM on April 16, 2008

Nice starting point, dramatically. But it would have been improved if, on her exit, each succeeding actress collided with something with ever increasing violence. This would also open up the possibility, on the second round, of having the actresses begin bloody and get bloodier by colliding with completely bizarre objects on their way out. Like giant chainsaws or the mouth of a lion-suited dude who (of course) OM NOM NOM NOMs them.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:52 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

(Nice starting point, dramatically. Nice starting point, dramatically. Nice starting point, dramatically.)
posted by gorgor_balabala at 8:54 PM on April 16, 2008

I would have enjoyed this more if they'd taken every piece of footage and overlaid them in one giant multi-layer transparency, and the audio mixed as well.

And then done some mathematical trickery to retain only the video footage where the character placement perfectly overlapped, and the audio where things were perfectly in sync.

Then released that, as well as one made up only of the footage removed from the first.

But I'm kind of odd like that.

or what gorgor said, which would have been AWESOME.
posted by davejay at 9:13 PM on April 16, 2008

When I was a student newspaper editor, one of my colleagues had an idea that I thought was lame at first, but ended up being a lot of fun. The idea was to take various happenings around campus, and ask, "Is this art?"

This video would have counted as a near-miss.
posted by bicyclefish at 9:23 PM on April 16, 2008

I don't get it.
(I assume, charitably, that there is something to get. I just don't get it.)
posted by oddman at 9:29 PM on April 16, 2008

Pillowy mounds of mashed po-ta-toes.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:40 PM on April 16, 2008 [7 favorites]

...okay, weird I totally spent thanksigiving at one of those houses, about two minutes in the guy with the beard... that added a whole 'nother level of weirdness for me. great post.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:29 PM on April 16, 2008

Hmm... needed more starving dogs.
posted by dgaicun at 10:31 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

and for the record Danny Tanner was not gay
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 10:40 PM on April 16, 2008

For the first few iterations I thought the plot was D.J. Tannner growing older, but not wiser, and seeing her slow downfall as she told Joey Gladstone, her boss, her boyfriend, her abusive husband, her meth dealer, her pimp, her arresting officer, her judge, her prison guards, and finally her psychiatric orderly, that they were not her father and they could not tell her what to do, before she slips into mute, degenerate insanity, spending the rest of her life in a padded cell reliving an idyllic childhood with Danny Tanner, Joey Gladstone, and Jesse Katsopolis.

My idea is much better, and I was disappointed when I saw the Asian woman and found I was definitely wrong.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:54 PM on April 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

It didn't really like it until the end, when the music swelled, overwhelming everything. Then I had to go back and listen to hear if the music really was from the original clip. The music was much more interesting than the 'acting.' Which I had never thought about before, composers for shitty TV. Which was interesting.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:10 AM on April 17, 2008

Damn! I'm sorry I've missed the Craigslist ad. That sure was easy money.
posted by darkripper at 12:25 AM on April 17, 2008


Needs more cowbell.
posted by WalterMitty at 1:12 AM on April 17, 2008

Meaningless and dull. Waste of time of everyone involved.

But, then, maybe that was the point? But saying it had a point is probably too generous.
posted by papercake at 5:48 AM on April 17, 2008

It feels like an extended set of screentests, therefore dull. I agree with Mr. Anthropomorphism on the nasty audio overlay. It would work better for me with just the original audio each time.
posted by freya_lamb at 5:59 AM on April 17, 2008

I liked the way it started meaningless and got, er, more so with each repetition.
posted by jack_mo at 6:08 AM on April 17, 2008

Whenever I see Dave Coulier I always think of You Oughta Know for some reason....
posted by samsara at 6:25 AM on April 17, 2008

i dunno, I kinda liked it. seconding From Bklyn; the music made it a lot more interesting.

And I think the clunky acting makes it more of an abstraction, perhaps. It was hard to feel that the actors meant what they were saying. In addition, there's no way some of those guys are old enough to have a daughter that age. So the ability to suspend disbelief is again strained. It made me think about what I consider acceptable levels of unreality in entertainment. A defined narrative or story arc? Believable acting? A consistent universe?
posted by dubold at 6:47 AM on April 17, 2008

Liked the music (and like Treewave), but the acting didn't quite do it. I don't think he should have repeated scenes--I guess there weren't enough contributors ... I suppose he picked the scene for the music.

Also, a little warning on the video link would have been appreciated. Quicktime and browsers do not go together.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:23 AM on April 17, 2008

Huh, I coulda sworn You Oughta Know went to #1 in the US. That album was ridiculously huge in the 90s.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:26 AM on April 17, 2008

I'll never join you!
posted by Pollomacho at 7:44 AM on April 17, 2008

Odd, I agree with Lupus--I'm usually all in favor of this sort of thing. Totally missed me, somehow.
posted by Squid Voltaire at 9:35 AM on April 17, 2008

This smear campaign by DJ's father, Paul Slocum, must be stopped.
Uncle Joey does not deserve this ridicule, Paul. You got your settlement.
posted by ...possums at 11:53 AM on April 17, 2008

I love this so much and I can't explain why.

posted by Dr-Baa at 1:42 PM on April 17, 2008

Makes me want to go to karate.
posted by asok at 3:09 PM on April 17, 2008

No. I am your father.

At least it wasn't about Jar Jar.
posted by ersatz at 5:23 PM on April 17, 2008

I loved that, but for the audio, not the video.
posted by Prospero at 6:08 PM on April 17, 2008

I seriously love this. I wish there was a way to keep the loop going so the feedback would build even higher, in a "I am sitting in a room" type fashion.
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:10 PM on April 17, 2008

The audio is my favorite part, too. The overlay, the swell... I dunno. I just dig it.
posted by defenestration at 8:22 PM on April 17, 2008

Some of the father characters look like they're about to open a can of whup-ass when they make their fists.
posted by Corduroy at 7:44 AM on April 18, 2008

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