DJ Cringe on the Turntables
April 16, 2008 7:27 PM   Subscribe

Haven't got your fill of awkward rap? Well there's Bill Cosby's upcoming rap CD and a new dance joint about a beat down. Or you can reminisce and revel in 13 awkward rap commercials of old. Not enough? Okay fine, how about a freestyle battle.

Get right with some Jean Grae and Eternia.
posted by cashman (37 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Haven't got your fill of awkward rap?

Actually, I thought I'd long ago had my fill of awkward rap, but that was before I saw your freestyle battle link. Pure gold. Thanks for that.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:04 PM on April 16, 2008

Come bust a move/
where the games are played/
it's dope, it's fresh/
it's Noah's arcade
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:20 PM on April 16, 2008

Mix tape!

posted by owhydididoit at 8:22 PM on April 16, 2008

what the holy hell is going on in that "freestyle battle?" For starters, why is the host constantly molesting the judge in the middle????
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:26 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Actually, I liked some of his earlier material a lot. Not that I expect an encore...
posted by owhydididoit at 8:31 PM on April 16, 2008

I think the guy has a disability. Which still doesn't explain half of what's going on in that video.
posted by naju at 8:31 PM on April 16, 2008

Cosby raps about Pokemon. (Youtube video, though I originally saw something like it on YTMND)
posted by Gary at 8:34 PM on April 16, 2008 [3 favorites]

whoa...Eli seems rather disadvantaged.
posted by owhydididoit at 8:35 PM on April 16, 2008

Stop already with the Cosby links ya' see, cause I can't keep hand out favorites like candy ya' see. I love it ya' see cause its Cosby, Ruuuuuudy!
posted by nola at 8:48 PM on April 16, 2008

I was all excited about the Cosby rap album because you know what rhymes with 'hip-hop'..... 'Jell-O Pudding Pop'! Don't let me down, Cos!

I'm assuming this wasn't linked.. My favorite awkward awesome rap was an advertisement for ABC's Wednesday night line-up. If you ever thought, 'I'd like to see Balki and Cousin Larry rap,' you're in luck! The commercial also includes the kids from 'Head of the Class,' and, if you remember that episode where they did the music video for 'My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades,' then you already know they can get down!
posted by Mael Oui at 9:21 PM on April 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

I feel that Cosby's musical career peaked with Funky North Philly from his album Hooray for the Salvation Army Band!
posted by cinemafiend at 9:24 PM on April 16, 2008

I thought I sold you that pudding pop
I thought I sold you that pudding pop

Like my girl Rudy said, mo' funny mo' problems.
posted by jimmythefish at 9:42 PM on April 16, 2008

It was twenty years ago today...
posted by furtive at 9:45 PM on April 16, 2008

Yeah, I don't think Eli's working with a full toolbox. But it's nice they gave him a shot anyway.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:55 PM on April 16, 2008

That freestyle rap links just depresses me. I really do think the second contestant may be mentally disabled.
posted by mulligan at 10:33 PM on April 16, 2008

Barney Rubble is about as effective a rapper as Dee Dee Ramone.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:38 PM on April 16, 2008

Grandad vs. Thugnificent: Punk Ass Fool
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:13 PM on April 16, 2008

Mr. T had mad skills (notice how he pulls the mic out of his back pocket) and a positive message. Top that Cosby!
posted by edverb at 11:27 PM on April 16, 2008

I remember seeing these terrible commercials during saturday morning cartoons. I wonder if the fact that my parents never let us have any of the products advertised in them was a coincidence... (Nintendo, artificially colored cereals)
posted by hellslinger at 12:11 AM on April 17, 2008

Gary, can I blame you for getting the PokeRap stuck in my head? I want to be the best there ever was/To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause~~!
posted by bettafish at 12:54 AM on April 17, 2008

See I'll let you know who's the best
By the hour.
You like Rosie O'Donnell
At a bisexual bridal shower.

Isn't that a Bob Dylan lyric?
posted by milnak at 1:09 AM on April 17, 2008

Gary, can I blame you for getting the PokeRap stuck in my head?

Absolutely. I prefer the Polka, myself.
posted by Gary at 2:06 AM on April 17, 2008

Okay, hold up. This is hilarious. Headline of the USA Today article: Bill Cosby to release rap album in May

Four sentences later: "I do not rap on any of these things," Cosby told The Associated Press Monday.

I guess I shouldn't dog on the OP since the headline is clearly misleading. But yo dawg, where I'm from, the streets of 6th Ward, Hustletown TX, representing that Durty South shit to the fullest, u know how we do, "a hip-hop, pop and jazz soundtrack" does not equal a "rap album".

Yo, I'm out, mayne. RIP DJ Screw. RIP Pimp C.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 3:48 AM on April 17, 2008

"When we rapped, we didn't rap about givin' your man friend fe-latty-ohs. We rapped about good stuff, like sneakers!"
"And people who talk too much!"
posted by Spatch at 5:18 AM on April 17, 2008

I guess I shouldn't dog on the OP

Oh you aren't - I saw that before I posted - he has rap on his album. Notice it doesn't say he's rapping, it says his upcoming rap CD. That it is.
posted by cashman at 6:06 AM on April 17, 2008

Ah, sorry my bad. I guess I did a full-stop at, "I do not rap on any of these things," and didn't get to, "guest rappers providing the rhymes."

This is going to be one weird album.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 6:14 AM on April 17, 2008

A lot of people seem to think Eli, from the freestyle battle link, is somehow mentally disabled, but I don't think that's the case. He may have some kind of physical disability, but I don't think there's any evidence of mental impairment. I also think the reason he stops the first time isn't because he blanks out, but rather that he is stopped by the producers for the language he uses (it appears to be a public access show). If you listen carefully after he finishes the second time, you can hear a voice say "You called him gay, Eli," to which he quickly responds, "I said freakin', Carl," probably in reference to having said "fucking detour." At any rate, he's the best, mayne...he did it.
posted by Espy Gillespie at 7:10 AM on April 17, 2008

No discussion of awkward rap is complete without these two gentlemen keepin' it real in the 802.

Woodchucks reprazent!
posted by Rock Steady at 7:26 AM on April 17, 2008

And speaking of the Converse Weapon ad in that 13 rap commercials post, I really wish the Celtics would go back to black shoes -- so much classier. Also probably the only ad ever to feature three rapping future professional sports team General Managers.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:33 AM on April 17, 2008

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenocerous
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless

posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:48 AM on April 17, 2008 [2 favorites]

The "Books: Check em out" video weirded me out for two reasons:

1. When I was little, I loved Transformers. I remember loving the show and watching it religiously, but if pressed, I couldn't tell you the plot of a single episode. Hell, I couldn't tell you a thing about what I learned in the class I finished two terms ago. But the moment the "Books" video started playing, I found myself unconsciously mouthing the words along with the song.

2. In spite of this being an ancient PSA, it's STILL better than most of the rap that's come out in the last 10 years or so.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:03 AM on April 17, 2008

sourwookie, I'm speechless.
posted by Anything at 12:40 PM on April 17, 2008

Sourwookie, that Madness-ified Colgate Pump commercial is nuts.

I recognize the imagery of the silhouetted boys and girls holding hands and dancing, but I don't remember what video it's from. Does anyone know?
posted by Locative at 3:00 AM on April 18, 2008

Locative: "Baggy Trousers" by Jive Bunny & the Mastermixers also as done by Madness
posted by sourwookie at 12:20 AM on April 20, 2008

Thanks, sourwookie. But the video I kept finding on YouTube for "Baggy Trousers" doesn't have that imagery (of the silhouetted boys and girls). The silhouetted parents in the kitchen look so familiar too.
posted by Locative at 3:18 AM on April 20, 2008

« Older You're Not My Father   |   1921 steam-powered yacht Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments