Daiquiris on the Bounty!
April 22, 2008 8:10 PM   Subscribe

The Daiquiri is a drink which was much beloved by Ernest Hemingway.

Daiquiris are made with rum. Rum spelled the doom of William Bligh's (yes, the Mutiny on the Bounty Bligh, of which numerous films were made) term as the governor of Australia, as he was expelled from his post by the New South Wales company in Australia's only military coup.

I freely admit my inspiration for this entire post was the bar school video which is the first link in this post. It transfixed me with horror. There are more. Watch in despair as the drink melts as he goes on and on and then throws half of it away! Begin to suspect that this is an elaborate joke by a method actor in the role of Bob and Doug McKenzie's cousin!

Long Island Iced Tea
posted by winna (32 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm sorry, I haven't finished watching the entire video yet - but, is the BARTENDER WIPING HIS NOSE WHILE HE'S MAKING MY DRINK?
posted by yhbc at 8:14 PM on April 22, 2008 [2 favorites]

The ___________ is a drink which was much beloved by Ernest Hemingway.
posted by stopgap at 8:17 PM on April 22, 2008 [12 favorites]

That is precisely why I just had to make a post about it. That video is just so horrific. BARTENDER NOOOOO

And then I found that site about the Rum Rebellion and the Atlantic article about Hemingway! It was meant to be!
posted by winna at 8:19 PM on April 22, 2008

I think it's horrifyingly real -- the phone number on the video matches the one at www.barschool.com which seems like a legitimate operation. I agree about the nosewiping. WTF?
posted by peacheater at 8:20 PM on April 22, 2008

Dammit, yhbc beat me to it.

What's more, this bartending instructor is a) using a jigger and b) not tipping his bottles correctly for clean pours. Shame, shame, shame.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:20 PM on April 22, 2008

Isn't what he throws away just ice?
posted by Hargrimm at 8:21 PM on April 22, 2008

Oh, and one more thing ... he says he's shaking ingredients to have a consistent flavor. Well, there's that, but you shake cocktails to a) chill them quickly, b) agitate them to create a froth/slurry and c) mix a significant amount of water into the cocktail.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:24 PM on April 22, 2008

Maybe it's just far too much time on barstools, but it looks to me like there is a considerable amount of liquid in those glasses when he throws it away. I hear the slosh as they go into the sink and my heart breaks for the alcohol, although I'd imagine that the bottles are full of water for demonstration purposes.

Cool Papa Bell, do you want to be truly disgusted? Watch this one. (name of link may not be safe for work)
posted by winna at 8:29 PM on April 22, 2008

The skinny on cocktails from my main man, Alton Brown: part 1 part 2
posted by potch at 9:03 PM on April 22, 2008 [6 favorites]

Love Alton... he never wipes his nose during a shoot. Yikes!
posted by Huck500 at 9:17 PM on April 22, 2008 [1 favorite]

Appletini? Such nonsense.

There is no such thing as a martini made with vodka. (The so-called vodka martini is properly called a Kangaroo). I think the popularity of these ridiculous "flavored martinis" is because bartenders tossed out the gin and replaced it with vodka, which gave you a drink that, for the most part, tasted like diluted vermouth and brine. Then they tossed out the vermouth, because patrons didn't like the flavor (never mind that they were generally using mediocre vermouth and neglecting to refrigerate it once it was opened; it's a fortified wine and its flavor degrades). Which left the drinker with a cocktail that tasted like rubbing alcohol and olive, especially if made with a bottom shelf vodka. So they started throwing fruit flavors into it. So you have a neutral spirit flavored with fruit. Why call it a -tini? You've just reinvented shnappes.

And martini glasses should be small, not cartoonishly large, or the drink will not remain cold. When you shake a drink, you often get slivers of ice cube in the drink, which is not a good addition to many cocktails. A proper martini is strirred in an ungodly amount of ice.

These things matter.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:44 PM on April 22, 2008 [5 favorites]

CPB - there's naught wrong with using a jigger, IMHO.

Why, Jerry Thomas himself used many such contrivances (though he called them giggers), and further said that they were "used by all first-class bartenders." Dale DeGroff, (perhaps self-styled, but excellent, nonetheless) "King of the Bartenders" recommends you have two on hand - a one / two and a three quarters / one-and-a-half. Charles H. Baker named his seminal work "The Gentleman's Companion - Being an Exotic Cocktail Book, or Around the World with Jigger, Beaker, and Flask" - who is to argue with that? Not Drinkboy, who calls it "an indispensible tool for the budding bartender" (and who is not budding?). Nor Gary Regan, who says that "[pouring by sight] is a very inadequate way of measuring a shot," though he does go on to request that you do so, if you're serving him.

Least of all, perhaps, among discouragers of jiggers, may be Hemingway himself, who, if memory serves, specifies jiggers as the means of measurement in the "Death in the Afternoon Cocktail," which he describes in "So Red the Nose" (mine is on loan, atm).

Though, regrettably, there are reasons why the jigger has fallen out of favor. I suspect that, much like young gunslingers who all wanted a slice of Billy the Kid, or like those who came before Hillary, who possessed of a certain pluck, many of our contemporary compatriots believe that they can measure, perfectly and by sight (or, more importantly, flavor or odor) any drink that may be requested of them.

I have my own, dark, turning from the jigger to share, if you have the time.

I was a bartender on Bourbon Street, and I worked the only street bar in the city that served actual, honest-to-God cocktails during Mardi Gras. I had chosen this path in life, despite the tendency of my friends, who all attended LSU. I was not completely severed from them, though, because when they had parties, I (and my ample supply of liquor) always received an invitation.

And, oh, what parties they had.

They were like party scientists. Every party was a theme party - and not like many, flaccid theme parties you've no doubt attended, but fascinating themes. It was key to the endeavor that all of the attendees were game, and I attended a few parties that cannot, with due consideration for contemporary standards of intercourse, or due concern for the careers of my fellow miscreants, be described here.

Often, it fell upon me to tend bar. After driving the hour-plus it took to get there, being left in command of the bar, despite being so quotidian for me at the time, was a blessing. I drank deep.

Inevitably, though, it being LSU, and sorority girls being like bats under Austin's Congress Avenue bridge at any function worth attending (and, oh, they were worthy), someone asked me for a drink not commonly requested on the Rue. Desperately, I verified that I had the ingredients (I did). Then, somewhat shakily, I reached for my jigger.

No go. Shot glass? No. Anything in which I knew how to measure? No dice.

I shouted to the kitchen, where I had seen some hearty frat-boys shooting Goldschl├Ąger, "Can someone get me a fucking shot glass? 'Cause I don't have a fucking jigger."

This being Louisiana, and racial relations being, regrettably, what they were, the party stopped. Were there a piano player, he would have halted, and along with the rest of the party-goers, turned his head slowly in my direction.

"What?" someone asked.

Apparently, we had stumbled upon a mis-understanding.
posted by rush at 9:53 PM on April 22, 2008 [11 favorites]

That was the worst.

And just because a drink is served in a cocktail glass does not mean that it automatically should be considered a type of Martini. I cannot stress that enough.
posted by paddysat at 9:55 PM on April 22, 2008

"Nobody uses fresh lime anymore..."

posted by paddysat at 9:57 PM on April 22, 2008

"...the easy way to make a good drink..."

No. The lazy way to make a crappy drink.
posted by paddysat at 9:59 PM on April 22, 2008

Yes. I was a bartender for quite a long time and I left with some pride thank you very much.
posted by paddysat at 10:00 PM on April 22, 2008

Oh, and this guy's a hack.
posted by rush at 10:02 PM on April 22, 2008

I am delighted at the number of outraged bartenders we have here on Metafilter. It is a fine art!

I never learned how, but I spent so many years in bars in college that my heart lifts at the sight of the shining rows of bottles and the world-weary face of the Saint Bernard of the cities, that noble creature, the bartender.
posted by winna at 10:04 PM on April 22, 2008

Free pour or die, Rush.
posted by paddysat at 10:06 PM on April 22, 2008

potch, those links were spot on. Thank you for squelching my rage. I can now leave this thread in peace. I apologize for my numerous comments. Really.

*makes myself a perfect sidecar*
posted by paddysat at 10:39 PM on April 22, 2008

Cool Papa Bell, do you want to be truly disgusted? Watch this one. (name of link may not be safe for work)

My eyes!

many of our contemporary compatriots believe that they can measure, perfectly and by sight ...

... or, you have standard spouts, tip your bottles correctly and rely on the fact that gravity will always be 32.2 ft/s┬▓ and that you are able to count 1-2-3-4-5.

posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:07 PM on April 22, 2008

Stopgap said what I wanted to about Hemmingway & Booze. I'm not sure an alcoholic's endorsement is what I'd want for my drink of choice.

It's like those dog treats with the quote on the bag: "Nine out of ten dogs prefer ____ to our competitor's product!" Like I'm going to be overly concerned about the palate of my dog when he'll eat his own or other's vomit with gusto.

Also, I share the rage about expanding the meaning of martini to encompass all drinks served in a martini glass. That's just wrong.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:11 PM on April 22, 2008

Islands in the stream is a study in how well Hemingway edited himself. Mostly because it is terrible.

It is filled with slush.

I will, however, be trying to make a daiquiri that isn't.
posted by poe at 12:38 AM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

That dude who shows how to make a Daiquiri is a beligerant nose picker.
posted by Po0py at 5:06 AM on April 23, 2008

Nobody uses fresh lime anymore...

Fuck Rose's.

I've said that in private many times; thank you for giving me a chance to say it in public. Fresh lime is one of the best flavors on God's lime-green earth; why would you use that crap instead?

Also: great thread. I tip my hat (and 20%) to MeFi bartenders.
posted by languagehat at 5:15 AM on April 23, 2008

Lately my summer drink has been a lime daiquiri and sadly, some places where I order a daiquiri the bartender says, "we don't have frozen drinks," and I say, "no, a traditional daiquiri" and even after I explain sometimes thaty have never heard of it.

posted by pointystick at 5:43 AM on April 23, 2008

I'm not a big rum drinker, but I do enjoy the odd mojito. Of course, it's impossible to get a decent one outside of some snooty cocktail bar. So I make my own. By the pitcher.

On the video, though, I have a really hard time believing this is for real (even though I'm fairly certain it is). The nose-picking, the bottle-dropping, the non-layering layered drink... it's not as if you're teaching a live class where you can't edit your mistakes. Jesus.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:41 AM on April 23, 2008

There is no such thing as a martini made with vodka.

I once would have disagreed with you, since my experience, like many people's, was with cheap, crappy gin and old vermouth used in badly made martinis made by disinterested college juniors at some shithole that also serves dollar shots. It wasn't until I made my own martinis with quality gin like Boodles or Tanq #10 that I appreciated a proper martini made with gin and fresh dry vermouth.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:58 PM on April 23, 2008

lh, Rose's is lime cordial, which is different entirely from fresh lime juice. Anyone who equates the two is merely uninformed. Rose's is no more a substitute for fresh lime juice (or vice versa) than POM is a substitute for grenadine.
posted by oats at 4:47 PM on April 23, 2008

lh, Rose's is lime cordial, which is different entirely from fresh lime juice.

I know. But bartenders use it in lime drinks which would be infinitely better with lime juice.
posted by languagehat at 5:34 PM on April 23, 2008

why would you use that crap instead?

Rose's was one way to meet the legal requirement to keep something on hand to combat scurvy. Also necessary to make a proper gimlet. It's really not good for much else.
posted by Hylas at 5:56 PM on April 23, 2008

Another lime crime: sour mix in mojito's!
posted by bonefish at 3:23 PM on April 24, 2008

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