Nation Buys Porn With Stimulus Package (no, not from the Onion)
July 3, 2008 8:58 AM   Subscribe

Bush Stimulates The Porn Industry With His Economic Package When President Bush announced his economic stimulus in January, he bragged that his package was “large enough to have an impact" and would “boost” the economy. It sure has led to “higher consumer spending”, but not where Bush had probably hoped. The adult pornography industry reports that has seen a huge uptick in business thanks to Bush’s package. According to a press release from the Adult Internet Market Research Company. A case of tax relief translating into a venti latte with full release?
posted by psmealey (59 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
To be fair, trickle down is a staple of the porn industry.
posted by DU at 9:02 AM on July 3, 2008 [11 favorites]


America didn't want a stimulus package. They wanted their packages stimulated.
posted by wabbittwax at 9:06 AM on July 3, 2008 [4 favorites]


PUN-UENDO!!!!
posted by lattiboy at 9:07 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Talk about a money shot! AMIRITE!?

(So this thread is just an excuse to come up with innuendo, right? A sort of "Gang Bang" of puns, if you will)
posted by delmoi at 9:07 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


In-your-end-oh, more like.
posted by RokkitNite at 9:09 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Who the fuck are these people out there BUYING porn?

I thought this practice had died an ignoble death sometime in the 80's along with punk rock and dayglo clothing.
posted by smackwich at 9:10 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I wonder how the booze biz is doing? I'll bet they're doing well too.
posted by Mister_A at 9:10 AM on July 3, 2008


This is Bush's best hope - Rather than being remembered as the president who enflamed Middle East tensions, fiddled as the economy tanked, ushered in $5/gallon gas, and cheered on global warming....... he will be remembered as the Porn President.
posted by Ragma at 9:14 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]




BUSH = TEH SUXXORS

LOLLERSKATES

OK, I dissed Bush.

Now give me lots of favorites.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:16 AM on July 3, 2008 [9 favorites]


Who the fuck are these people out there BUYING porn?

Apparently Christie Brinkley's husband.
posted by mazola at 9:16 AM on July 3, 2008


But what happens when the resulting Porn Bubble collapses??
posted by Kabanos at 9:17 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


The Bush Administration will be beating off critics for a long time after this.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 9:18 AM on July 3, 2008 [5 favorites]


Blah blah blah flaccid economy blah.
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on July 3, 2008




Well, the buck doesn't stop there. Think of all the jobs this will provide for regular blue-collar workers. The plumbers... the firemen...
posted by Krrrlson at 9:21 AM on July 3, 2008


Nation Buys Porn For Package Stimulus.

FTFY.
posted by recoveringsophist at 9:22 AM on July 3, 2008


But what happens when the resulting Porn Bubble collapses??

Bukkake?
posted by The Bellman at 9:25 AM on July 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Now give me lots of favorites.

ur doin it rong.
posted by klanawa at 9:27 AM on July 3, 2008


Well, I for one was really unimpressed with Bush's package. It wasn't nearly as big as I expected it to be, and it certainly didn't go as far as he suggested. In fact, as I watched him wave it around in front of the cameras, I came to realize that while it was supposed to make us feel better, I kind of feel like all we got was fucked.
posted by quin at 9:30 AM on July 3, 2008 [8 favorites]


Boy, look at all these puns. We sure are cunning linguists, aren't we?
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:30 AM on July 3, 2008


what, none of you could think of a good pun using the word "bush"... not so cunning after all!
posted by HuronBob at 9:37 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Boy, look at all these puns. We sure are cunning linguists, aren't we?

I think you mean cumming linguists.
posted by trueluk at 9:37 AM on July 3, 2008


what, none of you could think of a good pun using the word "bush"... not so cunning after all!

A package stimulus in the hand is worth two in the bush? No, that's not right. That's not right at all!
posted by Krrrlson at 9:41 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


PACKAGE MEANS PENIS
posted by cmoj at 9:43 AM on July 3, 2008 [6 favorites]


Also, who is this Busch? He doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry. So he does everything backwards, or what?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:43 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I wonder how the booze biz is doing? I'll bet they're doing well too.

Well, funny you should ask:

"Bourbon producers see amber-colored future"

"... Distillers are expanding their bourbon production and storage and dispatching sales teams around the world, bullish for a traditionally Southern beverage gaining popularity worldwide. Surging exports, the weak U.S. dollar and rising popularity among younger Americans are driving the boom."

(Story linked from Salon website)
posted by aldus_manutius at 9:43 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Who the fuck are these people out there BUYING porn?

People that don't use computers, like McCain.
posted by Mr_Zero at 9:54 AM on July 3, 2008


MISSIONary position ACCOMPLISHED
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:42 AM on July 3, 2008


Now it would be a good time to roll out strictly republican and us-centric MMORPG.
posted by Free word order! at 10:50 AM on July 3, 2008


Linfield (2008) surveyed over 900 people to determine how they'd spend their tax rebates.

In 'How Will Americans Spend Their Tax Rebate Checks?' [.pdf] he found:
  • Pay Debt (48%)
  • Savings (22%)
  • Buy Something (13%)
  • Other (12%)
  • Retirement Savings (4%)
SO I guess we're seeing what use Other is putting their rebates to.

Seems like almost anytime governments start messing around with the economy results are not precisely what they intended.

Mister_A -- "I wonder how the booze biz is doing? I'll bet they're doing well too."

Well, alcohol is already such big business I don't think the rebates will have that large an impact.

But, with the mood of the country sliding towards recession (curious the official stats don't agree yet, although some sectors like housing are definitely in recession ) defensive stocks, alcohol included, are probably not a bad place to be.

Textbook definitions of defensive stocks include food, tobacco, alcohol, energy, and utilities, but with the advent of the internet I'm willing to be we should include online porn as well. If someone isn't working but they've got broadband and some available credit on their cards, well there you go!! Captive audience.
posted by Mutant at 10:51 AM on July 3, 2008


Apparently Christie Brinkley's husband.

If my eighties teen self had known that even Christie Brinkley's husband would whack off looking at nudie pictures I would have lived a much more shameless and fun life.
posted by srboisvert at 11:01 AM on July 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


I like MeFi posts with happy endings.
posted by Clave at 11:08 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, the buck doesn't stop there. Think of all the jobs this will provide for regular blue-collar workers. The plumbers... the firemen...

Hey, I just hope Barack Obama wins in November. I am going to make so much money working bachelorette parties here in the blue Northeast.

"Someone called me at 3AM to tell me you've been a naughty electorate. Now it's time to meet the Commander-in-Briefs." *brow-chicka-wow-wow ensues*
posted by Eideteker at 11:11 AM on July 3, 2008 [3 favorites]


Dude, Mutant, STFU with the statistics. Either make a stupid pun or get out.
posted by Eideteker at 11:12 AM on July 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Mutant, I'm going to take your advice and buy a lot of porn.
posted by Mister_A at 11:36 AM on July 3, 2008


"Mutant, I'm going to take your advice and buy a lot of porn."

Would you say you're going long on porn futures?
posted by Eideteker at 11:37 AM on July 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Obligatory


Rimshot, heh
posted by Mister_A at 11:38 AM on July 3, 2008


The battle against pornography will be long and hard.
posted by SPrintF at 12:04 PM on July 3, 2008


THIS IS WHY OUR KIDS ISN'T LEARNING
posted by quonsar at 12:17 PM on July 3, 2008


On a serious note: I wonder, if 48% of Americans (myself included) are going to use the rebates to pay off debt, wouldn't that actually show up as a contraction of GDP for this year? Since, presumably, the money is going to pay for things that we bought in the past (sometimes years in the past) and that paying down a credit card would represent a loss of long-term income for the credit card company?

So the "economic stimulus" could actually evaporate money from the economy?
posted by Avenger at 12:28 PM on July 3, 2008


Avenger, supposedly after most Americans think long and hard about it, though don't use it pay down debt.
posted by drezdn at 12:43 PM on July 3, 2008


Kabanos writes "But what happens when the resulting Porn Bubble collapses??"

It doesn't collapse; it bursts. And spews all over the face.
posted by orthogonality at 1:06 PM on July 3, 2008


Heh. Hey everybody, Avenger is surprised the economic stimulus isn't going to do anything! Bawwhaawwhaaw!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:14 PM on July 3, 2008


I keep checking my box every day, but Bush's shot of money has yet to come my way.
posted by cyclopticgaze at 1:31 PM on July 3, 2008


Now give me lots of favorites.

I option-clicked. That's an ironic favorite, right?
posted by rokusan at 3:00 PM on July 3, 2008




SO I guess we're seeing what use Other is putting their rebates to.

Other also includes cocaine and prostitutes.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:55 PM on July 3, 2008


We like to call those "Fridays" around here.
posted by quin at 4:01 PM on July 3, 2008


That's an ironic favorite, right?

It's all good, yo!
posted by jason's_planet at 5:29 PM on July 3, 2008


Did anyone else go to AIMRCO's website? What kind of company has a Gmail address as a company address? I get the sense this isn't a real press release and most websites, eager in grabbing content that attracts page views, will just put anything up without verification.
posted by onepapertiger at 5:33 PM on July 3, 2008


? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ?


Matthew Lesko taught me how to get $20,000 to open up a coffee shop! I got free money from the government, and all I had to do was buy his book to find out how!!!

? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ?


on prewiew, I need a nap.
posted by clearly at 5:38 PM on July 3, 2008


Having skimmed through the very comical discussion, I must ask: what about those who never got their checks or never were entitled to one in the first place???

(for some reason I have to like the word entitled in this conversation)
posted by JoeXIII007 at 6:44 PM on July 3, 2008


what about those who never got their checks or never were entitled to one in the first place???

For us, there's YouPorn and RedTube...
posted by wendell at 7:10 PM on July 3, 2008




what about those who never got their checks or never were entitled to one in the first place???


Then Bush will personally give you a pair of blue balls.
posted by drezdn at 7:14 PM on July 3, 2008




Who the hell pays for porn?

Goddamn Americans are stupid.
posted by graventy at 10:41 PM on July 3, 2008


Buiying porn? BUIYNG PORN?!!
Someone knows where I can buy some dust?
posted by Carl Mentor at 4:35 PM on July 4, 2008


OMG! I got a letter from the IRS; they're letting me have the poorman's rebate, $300, check in the mail in a week (even though I filed internetly, I didn't get a refund, so they didn't know where to auto-deposit anything). Anyway, can anybody recommend some quality porn under $300? Or should I take it to AskMe?
posted by wendell at 11:56 PM on July 5, 2008


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