Cops on Segways
July 23, 2008 1:19 PM   Subscribe

Cops on Segways From Kevin Kelly. Criminals beware!
posted by Faze (100 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
They look so threatening with their 2-wheelers, knees clasped tightly, and their cute little guns!
posted by iamkimiam at 1:28 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I can understand the use of the Segway by mall cops (though I reserve the right to point and laugh) and I can understand the their use by beat cops, but I swear the riot squad photos look photoshopped. Would the use of firearms on a segway be even remotely feasible?

The wooden bikes, on the other hand, are 99.999% awesome.
posted by lekvar at 1:36 PM on July 23, 2008


It's inherently embarrassing to be on a Segway, and it's even more embarrassing to be on a Segway wearing a helmet. Here's a protip for police: LEARN TO WALK OR RIDE A BIKE. Seriously, you're supposed to be in shape, some minor physical exertion shouldn't hurt.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:40 PM on July 23, 2008


Would the use of firearms on a segway be even remotely feasible?

Boy, I'd sure like to see that test.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:40 PM on July 23, 2008


I continue to be amazed at the level of hate for the Segway.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:46 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


The local mall has a security guard that patrols the food court on a segway. The weird thing is, as he goes he keeps scanning a bar code by each restaurant. I couldn't figure out if it was a way of making sure he was doing his job, tracking his segway route, or inventory check to make sure that no one is absconding with sections of mall why his back is turned. (ie. "Oh good, the Orange Julius is still here")
posted by drezdn at 1:52 PM on July 23, 2008 [9 favorites]


drezdn, that's a patrol checkpoint. They can be done with barcodes or electronic touch-plates. Just making sure the dude does his job.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:00 PM on July 23, 2008


This thread needs more Mall Ninja.

I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas.
...
My “Black-Ops” history ensures that you will never know about the missions I accepted in my younger days, and Vietnam still shudders when it hears the name of a an assasin so skillful and deadly, he is remembered decades later.

posted by rajbot at 2:01 PM on July 23, 2008 [8 favorites]


so they are watching the watchmen...
posted by kliuless at 2:01 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


The weird thing is, as he goes he keeps scanning a bar code by each restaurant.

I've seen these, and I've always noted that the guard carries a device that scans various barcodes instead of carrying a barcode that is scanned by various devices. Cheaper, but if I was a guard who felt like shirking duties, I'd just get copies of all the barcodes on 1 piece of paper, sit back, and relax.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:10 PM on July 23, 2008


I continue to be amazed at the level of hate for the Segway.

Maybe if they glued some brass gears and wood paneling on them and renamed them "The Bicircular Dynamotronic Pedocycle" they get some love.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:14 PM on July 23, 2008 [14 favorites]


This is a CounterStrike Mod waiting to happen.
posted by darkripper at 2:14 PM on July 23, 2008 [5 favorites]


Or hit on the Dairy Queen cashier.
posted by drezdn at 2:15 PM on July 23, 2008


(In response to TheOnlyCoolTim)
posted by drezdn at 2:15 PM on July 23, 2008


I continue to be amazed at the level of hate for the Segway.

It is a vehicle that makes anyone riding it look silly. It would make Steve McQeen look silly. It would make Batman look silly, and it would would make David Bowie look silly.

It would make you look silly, too.

That said, I would totally love to try riding one.
posted by everichon at 2:15 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


TOCT, I think you might be cut out for mall security after all. If I get a job at the Radio Shack, we can spend half the workday out in the parking lot getting high and crashing your Segway.
posted by cortex at 2:16 PM on July 23, 2008


Do they let you steal a segue in Grand Theft Auto yet?
posted by drezdn at 2:16 PM on July 23, 2008


segway death race
posted by kliuless at 2:20 PM on July 23, 2008


If only someone would invent electronic gyro-jammer.

Also, slightly OT: Why haven't the Jackass guys jumped a Segway off a ramp yet?
posted by dontoine at 2:22 PM on July 23, 2008


Imagine Batman riding a segway with really, really big wheels.

Also, you know one guy would end up doing all of the work with that co-op bicycle bus.
posted by stavrogin at 2:27 PM on July 23, 2008


we can spend half the workday out in the parking lot getting high and crashing your Segway.

Well, for intoxicated lulz is pretty much the only way you'd get me on a Segway, so that sounds like a plan.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 2:29 PM on July 23, 2008


GOB looks cool on his Segway. Plus, I'd wager Christopher Walken would look pretty cool on one too.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:32 PM on July 23, 2008


Photo caption suggestion: PEEEW! PEEEW! PEEEW!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:34 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Well, for intoxicated lulz is pretty much the only way you'd get me on a Segway, so that sounds like a plan.

Sweet. I can sneak out a couple of those shitty RC trucks they're always selling and I'll be all like, "dude, check it out, segskates" and stand on top of em but they'll just collapse under the weight and I'll fall over and hurt my knee. And then we'll complain about the girls at the Hotdog On A Stick who won't talk to us.
posted by cortex at 2:48 PM on July 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


I continue to be amazed at the level of hate for the Segway.

I see what you're saying, Dave Faris. As a toy, it looks fun. If someone offered me some time on one, I wouldn't turn it down.

But there's little redeeming about the Segway as a mode of transportation.

For a lot people, I suspect, the Segway is emblematic of the dot-com years, a piece of conspicuous consumption, technology borne out of the general wastefulness and stupidity of the day. It reminds one of wacky Internet scams, lots of stock options, and office staff sitting around, firing Nerf weapons at each other while the stock price keeps rolling up, before the big implosion.

If you were at Seattle Pride a few weeks ago and you saw the city's elected officials wheeling around each other at 1.5 mph, wearing open-mouthed grins and huge bike helmets totally incongruous with the hazards posed, you'd think those operators were wasting taxpayer money, beyond looking and acting ridiculous.

Seeing Segways used for military purposes takes this type of stupidity to a new level of obscene.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:53 PM on July 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


It's bad enough when they're on mountain bikes with their long socks and little outfits, but a copper on a Segway patrolling Queen Street Mall would have people laughing their fucking faces off. It's not that we don't respect their authority and all their good works, it's just that we are tickled pink by stuff that looks dumb.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:59 PM on July 23, 2008


I continue to be amazed at the level of hate for the Segway.

You should see the reaction to the Steampunk version.
posted by horsemuth at 2:59 PM on July 23, 2008


Say rerro to my rittle friend!!

/so ashamed
posted by damn dirty ape at 3:02 PM on July 23, 2008 [4 favorites]


Say rerro to my rittle friend!!

You are a horrible, horrible person.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:03 PM on July 23, 2008


I got to ride a segway last weekend. It was actually crazy fun. On the other hand, it was also indoors. Riding bicycles indoors is also crazy fun, so I dunno. Maybe it sucks if you're outside.

Little known segway fact: when you take your hands off the handlebars and throw the horns, it goes faster.
posted by phooky at 3:05 PM on July 23, 2008


Wait, one of those dudes in dda's link actually has a sniper rifle.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:05 PM on July 23, 2008


TheOnlyCoolTim : It's inherently embarrassing to be on a Segway

Hence the guns. You go make fun of the heavily armed guy wearing body armor for riding a scooter. I'll be over here, behind hard cover.
posted by quin at 3:06 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Segways not so cool, but wooden bikes are great.
posted by fixedgear at 3:09 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


This blog had a video of shooting from a Segway but it was taken down from You Tube. c/net news says, "The Segway was demonstrated as a useful tool since it allows soldiers, once they are trained in balancing and maneuvering the machine, to keep both hands on their weapon while still accelerating and turning the device with their body movements. In skilled hands, a Segway could be kept still enough to offer a stable position from which to shoot."
posted by podwarrior at 3:23 PM on July 23, 2008


> I swear the riot squad photos look photoshopped

But... but... it was on The Big Picture! 8th pic from the top on the Anti-Terrorism Exercises in China page.
posted by bjrn at 3:28 PM on July 23, 2008


Seeing Segways used for military purposes takes this type of stupidity to a new level of obscene.

What sort of stupidity are you talking about? That the officials were wearing helmets? I don't get what your problem is with the Segway, beyond the fact that they are associated with the dotcom boom, which I think is a pretty silly reason to dismiss a tool that clearly many find quite useful. Having spent those years overseas I have no such association and I don't think the Segway is so laughable. It seems to fill a niche in transportation, somewhere in between bicycles and feet.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:30 PM on July 23, 2008


In skilled hands knees, a Segway could be kept still enough to offer a stable position from which to shoot."
posted by cortex at 3:39 PM on July 23, 2008


The bomb squad use of Segways makes a good deal of sense. At the site of any kind of bomb threat there is a significant perimeter set up. The bomb squad people usually have on body armor that weighs about 100 lbs., in addition to whatever other equipment they will need to use. So the bomb squad for our local sheriff's department uses Segways to move people and equipment inside of the perimeter.
posted by ericales at 3:48 PM on July 23, 2008


Erika Moen's awesome comic on the subject

and

a flickr pool of people's pictures of cops on Segways
posted by rivenwanderer at 3:54 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


once they are trained in balancing and maneuvering the machine, to keep both hands on their weapon while still accelerating and turning the device with their body movements.

Isn't the Segway accelerated via a motorcyle-style handgrip?

And count me in the "I'll see it when I believe it" camp that shooting from a Segway would be anything but bad news. Guns have recoil. Segway's work via balance. It's easy to disrupt your balance.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:08 PM on July 23, 2008


a pretty silly reason to dismiss a tool that clearly many find quite useful

I'm sure there is some utility for them with handicapped individuals, but that's about it. Even so, has Segway turned a profit yet? With gas at $4 a gallon and rising, I'm surprised there aren't more of them out there.

As far as there being a transportation niche between the bicycle and feet, I have to wonder how much of it is manufactured, frankly, and how much of it is from people being too lazy to expend effort in moving from point A to B. There's a niche in there somewhere, I guess.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:17 PM on July 23, 2008


The Segway® Police are coming for you
Shifting the balance of power
The Segway® Police are gunning for you
At 12.5 miles per hour
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:20 PM on July 23, 2008 [4 favorites]


Some of you seem like you have actual experience with Segways. In the States, do people actually use them?!
I've spent a lot of time in various European cities since they were launched, yet I've seen a Segway in real life just twice - once 2-3 years ago in the Piazza Novarra in Rome when some sort of Segway tour went by, and a few weeks ago here in Central London, a solitary chap down around Whitehall/Houses of Parliament.
It seems that, akin to the Clapper, this is a product that really hasn't proved itself that useful.
And I'd bet that the Segway Corp. is paying the Chinese military to use them in those photo ops.
On preview: and yeah, what about the recoil? I picture a platoon of paramilitaries flying backwards off their steeds.
posted by Flashman at 4:21 PM on July 23, 2008


Isn't the Segway accelerated via a motorcyle-style handgrip?

They are accelerated through gyroscopic leanification. Body posture drives the thing.
posted by cortex at 4:22 PM on July 23, 2008


The segway hate is fueled by:

1) It was supposed to be this astonishing breakthrough that would change the world. It was not and is not.

2) It's an expensive toy which is most often owned and ridden by people you'd rather not spend a lot of time with.

3) It's not a replacement for anything but walking. It doesn't do scooter-like stuff better than a scooter, it doesn't do walking-like stuff better than walking, it certainly doesn't replace cars or bicycles for people who use those in their work.

4) It uses resources to build, it takes up space on both the road and when not in use, it's a solution to a problem that simply doesn't exist.

Like everything else dot-com, the hype was so great and the product so meh, well, there's nothing left to do but glue some brass to it.
posted by maxwelton at 4:26 PM on July 23, 2008 [6 favorites]


I have a feeling the first perp cought by a segway cop is in for a rough time in the holding tank.
posted by jonmc at 4:54 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to remember the airport I was at where security had them. Probably their ideal environment. The added height seemed to be a bonus for scanning the crowd.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:07 PM on July 23, 2008


Scene opening: dimly lit warehouse

Lucius: I certainly hope that something justifies me pulling another all-nighter, Bruce.

Bruce: I'm afraid so. In twelve hours Harley Quinn and Killer Croc are going to release rats with lasers on their heads throughout the Gotham sewer system. I'm going to need a mode of transport that I can use in spaces too tight for the batpod.

Lucius: [nods] We've got it designed like you wanted it, but installing the grappling hook cannon is going to slow her down a bit. To compensate, I had to increase the sensitivity of the gyroscopes and improvise a platinum-based battery syste-

Bruce: But will it work?

Lucius: [smiles] Just lean into it.
posted by Avenger at 5:08 PM on July 23, 2008


So much segway hate, yet so little segway knowledge. I guess I don't expect much more from mefites these days.
posted by hellphish at 5:09 PM on July 23, 2008


I've ridden a segway. It took some getting used to, and since it was at Disneyland, it's not like I had time to anything other than feel dorky and wobbly. That, and the fact that they put the Segway demo area right next to a glass-walled balcony didn't help much.

I would accept a working Segway if someone gave me one, but I couldn't ever see buying one unless it was competitive in price with a skateboard or bicycle - both of which I already have and use.


However, to understand the intense Segway hate you should remember that they hyped this piece of electronic crap up for over a year or so, calling it "IT" or "Ginger", and saying that this "IT" was going to totally revolutionize transportation.

So when they unveiled this weird looking wobbly two-wheeled thing that could barely hit 10-15 MPH and expected the world to suddenly give up their cars and bikes AND pay over five grand for the dorky honor - well, the collective nerd embarassment was so thick you could spread it on crackers and sell it at DragonCon.
posted by loquacious at 5:35 PM on July 23, 2008


Poor kids. Some of you really got your hopes up, didn't you?
posted by Dave Faris at 5:42 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


The first time I ever saw the things in their aluminum flesh was about three or four years ago in downtown Atlanta. I was trying to get into the High Museum photography annex (which was closed) and, because it was downtown Atlanta on a Saturday, I was completely and utterly alone in the universe until suddenly, I was surrounded by like six guys in seriously dorky uniforms all riding Segways. It was enchanting; I felt like I was in Logan's Run or something. They were Downtown Atlanta Welcome Ambassadors and I guess they were left over from the Olympics, because they were so busy falling over themselves to help me that it seemed entirely likely they'd been cruising around the city alone on their Segways, forgotten, purposeless, for years and years.

Now they have tourists with big helmets, bermuda shorts, intensely serious gazes and death grips on the handlebars riding up and down the sidewalks of Asheville on them. They still have a certain rakish charm and the appeal of hey, here are people who really, really don't care what they may look like, but god help you if you block the path of some family from Des Moines who are intent on experiencing our bohemian southern charm at 12 mph. Guns are as nothing to the fury in their eyes.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:22 PM on July 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


Though Segways are illegal on the streets of Montreal (save for a small tourist area in the Old Port) cops here have just picked up a few three-wheel T3 Motions to add to their patrols.

Judging by the video these things sound like they're fuelled by angry bees.
posted by loiseau at 6:24 PM on July 23, 2008


Also.

I have only seen a Segway once -- actually four times, as a family of four douchebag yuppies zipped around the waterfront on a rented set -- and I laughed my ass off. They just seemed like the most ridiculous, ostentatious thing ever. I am glad they are not allowed around here.

But my view of the Segway as a concept, and of Dean Kamen as an inventor, changed drastically as a result of this fascinating thread about his more recent work and what motivates him. Maybe some of the knee-jerk snarkers here should re-read it.
posted by loiseau at 6:28 PM on July 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


It seems to fill a niche in transportation, somewhere in between bicycles and feet.

I think something between bicycles and feet would also be: a) human-powered, and b) affordable to almost everyone. IMO, a Segway is not between them. Skateboard maybe.
posted by glycolized at 6:31 PM on July 23, 2008


The Segway it's also sort of becoming a way in comedy series to say to the viewers "Hey, here's a rich wacky douchebag!". Will Arnett's GOB might be the first example of this (or not)
posted by darkripper at 6:41 PM on July 23, 2008


Every Saturday and Sunday there's a Segway parade right by my house. There are Segway tours in my city (Austin), and they use my street to get across the interstate. Everyone is riding politely, wearing their helmet, thrilled beyond belief at the fact that they're riding an actual Segway, while trying to understand what the hell the tour guide is shouting to them regarding the moonlight towers.

Every weekend morning. Like clockwork. Segway parade. My two-year old daughter summed it up last week when she pointed and shouted "Look daddy! They're silly!". I still want to try one though.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:44 PM on July 23, 2008


I walked into Millenium Park in Chicago over the July 4th weekend with my girlfriend (not a problem) and my dog (big problem). While we were gazing approvingly at the Bean — Cloud Gate, I mean — we got swarmed by several park security members on Segways. I think they are pretty effective in that scenario. They can zip quickly through the crowd, and they gave some stature to the diminutive parkpolice-ish women riding them. But they do come at you like servant robots in a Pixar film. There's a certain futuristic fluidity to riding one of those things.

Offtopic, when did Chicago adopt a new quasi-police/security force just for Millenium Park with their own uniforms, helmets, weapons, etc. They were unfailingly polite but that park seems to have it's own militia.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 6:46 PM on July 23, 2008


Poor kids. Some of you really got your hopes up, didn't you?

Damn it, we were promised jet packs.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:53 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's inherently embarrassing to be on a Segway, and it's even more embarrassing to be on a Segway wearing a helmet. Here's a protip for police: LEARN TO WALK OR RIDE A BIKE. Seriously, you're supposed to be in shape, some minor physical exertion shouldn't hurt.

Well, according to the segway manual, you are supposed to wear a helmet and "get a friend to act as your spotter." Most people don't need that. Some do.

One of my least favorite recent trends is people conducting city tours on segways. I see them in San Francisco all the time, tourists in single file on their rented segways, each wearing a reflective safety vest and a helmet as someone tells them about Alcatraz and Pier 39 through a bullhorn. As if being a tourist wasn't conspicuous enough.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:01 PM on July 23, 2008


But my view of the Segway as a concept, and of Dean Kamen as an inventor, changed drastically as a result of this fascinating thread about his more recent work and what motivates him. Maybe some of the knee-jerk snarkers here should re-read it.

My view of the Segway is unchanged, but watching that brought a little tear to my eye. The Segway is consumer garbage, but a prosthetic arm that brings normalcy to people scarred by accidents or war is some genuinely Good Technology.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:04 PM on July 23, 2008


I should note, not that anyone cares, that I have nothing but respect for Kamen. It's just that this particular invention isn't really all that awesome in the real world.
posted by maxwelton at 7:10 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


YESTERDAY'S TOMORROW IS HERE - TODAY!!!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:11 PM on July 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


I fell in love with Meg from the Megway, back in 2001.
posted by Faze at 7:50 PM on July 23, 2008


I'm curious if any of you Segway haters have actually ridden one (not just a test run by actually spent some hours out on the streets). Most cities have tours for $100 or less for an afternoon, and if you fill up the group you can set the agenda (non-tourist routes). I've done it and had a blast. I can see why walkers would find it annoying though, but be honest why - your down there slogging away walking at slow speed, I'm gliding by higher up with no effort "on your left". It's the same antagonism with walkers and bikers on urban greenways. It has nothing to do with the technology, and as for it "looking funny", no doubt people said the same thing about the first bicycles.
posted by stbalbach at 7:57 PM on July 23, 2008


But the first bicycles did look funny.

And yeah, it's a sideWALK, jerks.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:59 PM on July 23, 2008


It has nothing to do with the technology, and as for it "looking funny", no doubt people said the same thing about the first bicycles.

Well, if the first bicycle tourists frequented public areas during peak traffic times in branded packs that looked anything like this? They would've totally deserved mocking.

Sorry, just my personal take. YMMV.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:07 PM on July 23, 2008


Most cities have tours for $100 or less for an afternoon

For $100 I can buy a bike.

A bike is faster, don't need to be charged, and is light enough to carry up stairs.

At the college where I work, there was a student who rode his Segway to class from the dorm. The dorm is two blocks away.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:16 PM on July 23, 2008


BEST OF THE OZARKS
posted by shinynewnick at 8:38 PM on July 23, 2008


I'm still waiting for them to redesign the cities around them.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:43 PM on July 23, 2008


Blazecock Pileon said: "My view of the Segway is unchanged, but watching that brought a little tear to my eye. The Segway is consumer garbage, but a prosthetic arm that brings normalcy to people scarred by accidents or war is some genuinely Good Technology."

Hawking "consumer garbage" to wealthy fucks with too much money and not enough ideas is what has given Kamen money to tool around fairly quietly with really expensive technology in an attempt to create smart prosthetic devices. Also, concepts developed for and proven by the Segway could be useful in the future in creating better mobility devices for the disabled if they haven't already.
posted by loiseau at 9:10 PM on July 23, 2008


Scott, my landlord, has one. He was lucky enough to inherit a house in a part of the world that eventually became ludicrously expensive, but he doesn't have money to throw around; he's the farthest thing in the world from a "wealthy fuck with too much money".

He got it from some guy who'd won it in a contest, was too uptight to drive it, and owed Scott some money. Scott just thought it would be fun and a neat way to get around, so he took the Segway instead of the cash.

It's quiet. It costs next to nothing to run. It's significantly faster than walking, but not so much so that you can't stop instantly and chat with a neighbor for as long as you like, without even dismounting. Also he likes to invent stuff for it. So far he's developed a super-bright, efficient set of lights, a gimbelled cup holder, a kickstand, and sort of pannier bucket thing as well.

If you're anywhere near, say, El Camino and El Monte in Mountain View, California, you've probably seen him puttering around in it. He's a big guy, sixty-five or so, in a funny straw peaked cap. Wave at him and tell him you're a friend of Andrea's.

He doesn't give a rat's ass whether a bunch of nerds half his age think he looks silly.
posted by tangerine at 9:22 PM on July 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


Hawking "consumer garbage" to wealthy fucks with too much money and not enough ideas is what has given Kamen money to tool around fairly quietly with really expensive technology in an attempt to create smart prosthetic devices.

The Segway is the rich douchebag's lottery.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:24 PM on July 23, 2008


Hawking "consumer garbage" to wealthy fucks ... is what has given Kamen money ... to create smart prosthetic devices.

Shh! That's capitalism! For God's sake, you can't say that to people here!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:51 PM on July 23, 2008


Seen Wall-E? That's where this ends.
posted by Artw at 9:55 PM on July 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hawking "consumer garbage" to wealthy fucks with too much money and not enough ideas is what has given Kamen money to tool around fairly quietly with really expensive technology in an attempt to create smart prosthetic devices.

Again, the Segway hasn't appeared to have turned a profit. As near as I can tell, Kamen has a number of very profitable non-Segway inventions. Do you have evidence otherwise?

Unless I'm wrong, and I could certainly be wrong about that, you — and Cool Papa Sockpuppet — may have to explain this argument a little better.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:08 PM on July 23, 2008


Also, concepts developed for and proven by the Segway could be useful in the future in creating better mobility devices for the disabled if they haven't already.

Actually, loiseau, they have already and you've got the timeline backwards. Kamen's iBOT wheelchair was an earlier application of the gyroscopic technology that went into the Segway. The gyroscopes in the iBOT add a whole bunch of new functions to a powered wheelchair, like climbing stairs and raising the user up to standing height. Neat stuff.

The Segway is the application of the gyroscopic technology to a scooter. It's a clever application, but it doesn't do much in the long run. Electric scooters already existed before the Segway came along, and as single-track vehicles they have a lot that works to their advantage in the physics department. The Segway's gyroscope solves the problem of how to have two wheels set side-by-side, but that's about it. It's an expensive solution for a problem that didn't really exist. It's a technology push that pushes to hard. It's not surprising that it hasn't taken off in the marketplace.

I don't hate the Segway. Like Blazecock said, it looks like it's a fun, impractical, expensive toy. And it's fun to bike past the people doing the Segway tour of Chicago's lake front and shout "Neeeeerrrrrrrrds!"* But I hate the hype, and I have to wonder if the massive PR campaign surrounding its release had its roots in an awareness that it's really not great. That they've managed to create a market for it all is a continuing surprise to me. I am really disappointed that the Segway continues to come up in important design shows as a shining example of good design, when it's anything but.


*I don't actually do this, but it's hard to resist.

Oh, and scratch my earlier comment. For $100, I can buy two bikes.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:10 PM on July 23, 2008


hydrophonic, some of your bias against the Segway is clearly because you are a pro biker. As a hiker, I hate bikes who use my trails, but I also recognize the use of bikes.

it's a fun, impractical, expensive toy

Tell that to over 600 law enforcement agencies around the world. And golf courses. And tourist agencies. Why do you think tour groups use Segways and not bikes? You may not know unless you've ridden a Segway, and it's they key reason why bikes and Segway's are not comparable.

For $100, I can buy two bikes.

The Segway is not a bike and comparing the two is a logical fallacy. Police also have bikes. And horses. And Cars. And helicopters. And boats. Each is useful and has pros and cons.
posted by stbalbach at 10:29 PM on July 23, 2008


Why do you think tour groups use Segways

I'll answer my own question: because anyone can ride them. On the tour I took, it included 3 people who were physically unable to ride bikes or walk the distance.

and shout "Neeeeerrrrrrrrds!"

I'm sure you don't mean anything but there are a lot of people with Segways for physical handicap reasons that are not apparent by looking.
posted by stbalbach at 10:40 PM on July 23, 2008


stbalbach, I'm willing to concede that there may be institutional or commercial applications for the Segway, but I kinda think that had there been a massive PR campaign for regular electric scooters, my local law enforcement agency would have saved some money.

I wish I was a pro biker. Segways aren't allowed on the roads or the multi-use trail I take to work, and I'm not allowed on the sidewalk, so my disdain has nothing to do with competition for space. But all the gee-whiz stuff about how it was going to revolutionize personal urban transport blah blah blah sounded awfully familiar to someone who's supported bike advocacy for years.

There are plenty of tour groups that use bikes, by the way. Some here in Chicago.

I'm sure you don't mean anything but there are a lot of people with Segways for physical handicap reasons that are not apparent by looking.

Some people with disabilities might also be nerds. But good point, they seem like a fine addition to the stable of assisted mobility devices.
posted by hydrophonic at 11:22 PM on July 23, 2008


With all due respect, Segways aren't marketed as wheelchairs. I could totally appreciate that use for them, however from my observations this product is generally marketed more towards active, able-bodied people "on the go." I am willing to bet that any statistics on this will show that people who ride segways for "physical handicap reasons" are the minority. On the contrary, it's seen as a highly attractive and fun gadget to own by people like this guy.

True, a segway might actually be a good wheelchair alternative for some people with physical issues... however unfortunately a lot of the people who could most benefit (seniors in particular) are people who aren't about to get on one. Even ten years ago, my arthritis & stroke-disabled mother would've been as likely to ride a segway as she would've been to take up snowboarding... in her mind the two would be equally terrifying.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:31 PM on July 23, 2008


...a piece of conspicuous consumption, technology borne out of the general wastefulness and stupidity of the day.

Are we talking about Segways or cars?
posted by DU at 4:39 AM on July 24, 2008


miss lynnster, I don't know what to say but read some of the Segway boards online, there are a lot of people on there who use them instead of those electric carts - wheelchairs would be for people who are seriously disabled and couldn't use a Segway at all. If your particular relative, or you, would get on one or not, doesn't seem to apply to everyone, no? The point is, Segway is a tool that has application for many people for many reasons. It's also good for people who have short city commutes who would rather not ride a bike and get sweaty before coming into work, or have to ride home after a hard day at work. This may not be apparent until you've ridden one but it's sort of like those sliding sidewalks in airports - you just step on it and go, it's really pretty nice and effortless.

What is interesting is, we all know the Segway sells and there are legit reasons for it. Yet, many still hate it. Why? I think there is an unconscious reason. It represents a threat. Sort of like how the SUV craze of the 90s and 00s got out of hand, once a critical mass of people had SUV's hogging the roads everyone had to get progressively bigger ones just to keep up, or feel squashed and bullied unable to see past the truck in front. The sidewalk is an egalitarian place, everyone is equal. If enough people were riding Segways it would obviously be no fun to walk on the sidewalk and eventually people would be forced to have one. This is a problem in particular given the cost. So when people feel threatened by a technology (SUV's, Segways) they mount campaigns to demonize it. It's sort of a mugs game to defend it because the point is not to arrive at an objective truth and understanding, but to ostracize the technology and people who would use it.
posted by stbalbach at 6:12 AM on July 24, 2008


I'm completely with Blazecock Pileon on this. A Segway does exactly the same job as an electric scooter for twenty times the price. And it isn't as if electric scooters have proven themselves all that useful, after all (and I should know, since I have an electric scooter gathering dust in my garage). To see public money being spent in them gets me frankly annoyed.

Want to escape a cop on a Segway? Take some stairs.
posted by Skeptic at 8:36 AM on July 24, 2008


And yeah, it's a sideWALK, jerks.

In most places, it is sidewalk LEGAL, assholes. Complain to your lawmakers if you have an issue with it.

Most people here seem to be forgetting (or just don't know) that the segway was designed to mix with pedestrians. It only goes running speed because if it went any faster it wouldn't be safe on the sidewalk (where it was designed to be.) It has non tandem wheels so that it can turn in place. Bikes and scooters don't do that. Why would they? They are supposed to stay on the street. Oh, a Segway also goes more than 20 miles on a single charge. If you've want to go to the grocery store 5 miles away, do you walk? Do you ride your bike? My guess is that you probably sit your ass in your honda and burn some gas to get to the market. I'll take my Seg and put my food in the sidebags. It's funny because when cowards shout at me from their SUV "you lazy fuck!" they don't realize that I've probably already ridden much further than they would be willing to walk. At this point I just assume they are jealous or stupid or both, smile, and keep riding. I'm out in the sun enjoying myself and getting things done.

As for it being a "toy for rich dorks," well, you all paid money so that you could comment on and post links. Post links... and comment on them. That's pretty geeky. And you paid for the priviledge? Whoa, you must all be rich. You can do that for free in other places. But I know why you did it. It's because metafilter is FUN. It is UNIQUE. Hey, guess what, so is my Segway.

Disclaimer: I paid about a third the cost of MSRP for my segway (and that was 3 years ago!), and it has already paid for itself in the amount of gas saved. I've been wanting to get one of the new models, but oddly enough, I can't afford it. Maybe I'm not as rich as some people think...
posted by hellphish at 10:16 AM on July 24, 2008


you all paid money so that you could comment on and post links.

I didn't.
posted by drezdn at 10:21 AM on July 24, 2008



Want to escape a cop on a Segway? Take some stairs.


It's going to be like in Dr. Who I tell you... One day you'll be running up some stairs to outrun a gang of punk segway riders who are looking to beat your ass. You make it up half a flight and then, *bam* they start floating up towards you.
posted by drezdn at 10:23 AM on July 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Slightly off topic (on topic?), but I spend a fair bit of time in downtown Annapolis, usually early in the morning...one of the period costume guys who gives walking tours shows up to work, in full Ben Franklin-type regalia, on a Segway. It's priceless.
posted by zap rowsdower at 10:49 AM on July 24, 2008


Take some stairs.

True, cops can't step off a Segway and chase on foot. It's astounding how irrational folks can be about the Segway, but as I wrote above, it's a mugs game to defend it because no matter what, people will hate it for irrational reasons and need to find some rationale to justify the feelings of alienation it engenders: too exspensive I can't afford it, makes me feel small and slow on the sidewalk next to it, if everyone had one I would be forced to get one or forced off the sidewalk. Meanwhile people like hellphish happily carry on for 10s of thousands of miles while most everyone else is burning up gas in their car. It's ironic really given the serious problems with cars (global warming, pollution) that the Segway is demonized in favor of driving. As hellphish said it's no problem to do a 5 or 10 mile trip in a Segway without breaking a sweat or getting tired or needing to eat extra calories - but few people are going to walk that distance or ride a bike for those reasons, they'll drive it instead.
posted by stbalbach at 11:06 AM on July 24, 2008


True, cops can't step off a Segway and chase on foot.

I think I have a two person scheme for getting free Segways at malls with lots of escalators.
posted by Artw at 11:33 AM on July 24, 2008


If you've want to go to the grocery store 5 miles away, do you walk? Do you ride your bike?

Yes, I do ride my bike.

Arguing that the Segway allows you to not break a sweat is sort of supporting claims that it's a device that allows you to be too lazy to break a sweat. Physical exertion is not the worst thing in the world. Arguing that the automobile is worse doesn't make the Segway better. "600 police departments use it" assumes police departments do smart and good things. I bet 600 police departments also make unwarranted use of the taser and perpetrate institutional racism.

As noted above, its niche is that of an overpriced overcomplicated Rascal scooter. Someone of sound body riding around in a Rascal scooter would also get mocked, but at least I've never heard of a hale and hearty person using a Rascal.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 11:40 AM on July 24, 2008


Ah, Segway hatred, I know it well.

Segways were meant to replace short car trips, not walking. You know, instead of transporting your 200 lbs in a 3,500 lb vehicle for 4 miles (which is far more than most people walk nowadays in the U.S.). All of the arguments pitting Segways against walking completely miss the point.

Bicycles are great. In fact, bicycles and Segways co-exist together naturally. "Just ride a bike" is like telling someone who uses a big hulking SUV to "just use a station wagon -- it gets better gas mileage and doesn't cost as much." Everything has its purpose.

For instance, when I was working for Segway, we lent them to Boston EMS during their 4th of July gig at the Hatch shell. Guess what's easier to patrol a crowd with -- a bicycle (which you had to walk through the crowd, making it useless), or the Segway (which navigated seamlessly through the crowd)?

Commuting to work? Bicycles are great, but in the summertime especially, you're going to arrive quite sweaty and grimy. You'll be decidedly less so on a Segway. Sure, you don't get the physical workout, but who's business is that? Do you tell someone taking a car 3 or 4 miles to get out of their big hulking vehicle and walk a little?

Overpriced? Absolutely. And hopefully someday they'll come down in price. But I'd argue a lot of people buy overpriced stuff in the U.S. -- Apple, BMWs, Crate and Barrel.

It's amazing how much emotion a Segway can bring out in a person -- both good and bad.
posted by docjohn at 1:07 PM on July 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


It's a cool toy, but seems like overkill for a glorified scooter. The "ideal" use for something like that would be for traffic/parking cops, but it seems like you could get an electric scooter that is cheaper to make and maintain, and more functional in terms of carrying small cargo.

So when people feel threatened by a technology (SUV's, Segways) they mount campaigns to demonize it.

By posting comments to Metafilter?

For $100, I can buy two bikes.

Can you buy me one and ship it to San Francisco?

Nifty Segway crash = thump.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:17 PM on July 24, 2008


Hypothetical question: you've got a Segway on a conveyor belt...
posted by cortex at 4:26 PM on July 24, 2008 [2 favorites]


Traffic ground to a halt the other evening at Constitution and 15th Street in NW DC. A tourist miscalculated the curb and fell off his rented Segway. He was hurt enough so that he didn't just get back up. Luckily, all of the DC Segway tour company (named "Segs in the City) make all of their riders wear helmets and take a 30 minute operating course, and I imagine they make them sign disclaimer forms that are as long as your arm.

Segway Crash Videos
posted by Dave Faris at 6:34 PM on July 24, 2008 [1 favorite]


Skeptic writes "A Segway does exactly the same job as an electric scooter for twenty times the price. And it isn't as if electric scooters have proven themselves all that useful, after all (and I should know, since I have an electric scooter gathering dust in my garage)."

Not quite. A segway's footprint is smaller than a scooter and it's much more manoeuvrable.

Also I see scooters all the time being used by mostly the elderly but sometimes younger people. However I do live in an old neighbourhood full of seniors and well within walking distance to most amenities. Scooters are a natural fit for those who have lived here since their 40s-50s and now are unable to walk to the supermarket or are unable to carry supplies back.
posted by Mitheral at 10:47 PM on July 24, 2008


Looking to see if segway has a sit down model and I notice they have a golf model. Someone should develop a Segway Polo league with those.
posted by Mitheral at 12:30 AM on July 25, 2008


Segway polo has been around since 2003...

http://www.segwayhtpolo.com/
posted by docjohn at 2:51 AM on July 25, 2008


Awesome. They even have a championship; the Woz Challenge Cup. Yes, that Woz.
posted by Mitheral at 5:51 AM on July 25, 2008


... six guys in seriously dorky uniforms all riding Segways ... falling over themselves to help me ...

tee hee
posted by flabdablet at 9:35 AM on July 25, 2008


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