Green Jelly
July 25, 2008 5:52 AM   Subscribe

Green Jellÿ (pronounced Green Jellö) is a Grammy-nominated (Best Music Video, Long Form), Top 40-charting metal band that nonetheless purports to be the world's worst band, choosing to "disguise their lack of ability with stupid props."

They infamously appeared on The Gong Show and got gonged intentionally. Despite this, they do have some decent songs, given their genre: Three Little Pigs (their hit), Rock and Roll Pumpkin, and Bear Song.
posted by LSK (26 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Three Little Pigs is more than decent, its adequate.
posted by pwally at 6:12 AM on July 25, 2008

Your favorite band intentionally sucks.
posted by snofoam at 6:14 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

As of 2008, the band has had over 233 official members . . . On February 19, 2008, music news website announced that Green Jellÿ was reuniting and that a possible U.S. tour was in the works.

Polyphonic Spree, find shelter.

posted by not_on_display at 6:16 AM on July 25, 2008

I remember that they did the music for a SNES game called "Maximum Carnage", which was a Spider-Man side-scrolling fighter.

I loved that game.
posted by King Bee at 6:19 AM on July 25, 2008

No. Why?
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 6:26 AM on July 25, 2008

GWAR did it better.
posted by Paid In Full at 6:30 AM on July 25, 2008

That's Maynard James Keenan from Tool singing the bit "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin."
posted by BeerFilter at 6:36 AM on July 25, 2008

Band with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show!

I once went on a rowing excursion upon the Charles with my girlfriend. It was my birthday, so she said I could pick the boat we took. I said I'd like to take out a rowboat. She pointed out to me that only one of us could row the rowboat at a time, unlike a canoe or kayak. But I said it would be a totally awesome birthday if I could row her around, serenading her all the while. After a while, I ran out of songs we both liked for which I knew all the words.

So, after looking thoughtful for a bit, I gazed a metal gaze into her eyes, and in my best metal voice I said: "Sit right back and I, I will tell you a tale. Of three little pigs. And a big. Bad. WOLF." *dun dunn DUNNNN dada dada DUN...*

She'd never heard the song before, and I had her in stitches. So thank you, Green Jell-o (I don't respect the lawsuit, and my mp3 collection reflects that), for playing some small part in getting me laid.
posted by Eideteker at 6:42 AM on July 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

"...and that a possible U.S. tour was in the works."

Polyphonic Spree, find shelter.

I always assume GJ-o was the kind of band that would just show up where some other band was already playing, set up louder amps, and just start rocking the fuck out. I might actually go to a Polyphonic Spree show if I knew they were planning an ambush.
posted by Eideteker at 6:45 AM on July 25, 2008

"House Me Teenage Rave" is one of my favorite tracks of all time. Definitely in my Top 1000.
posted by Dr-Baa at 6:46 AM on July 25, 2008

Poo poo! Poo poo!
posted by LionIndex at 7:06 AM on July 25, 2008

So nice to see the Jello in the blue. You have Buffalo (actually, the suburbs of Kenmore and Tonawanda) to thank for the Jello. From the same city that brought you the Goo Goo Dolls, Billy Sheehan, Ani DiFranco and probably a few others I'm forgetting.

But Green Jello was always the best.
posted by jdfan at 7:07 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

From their myspace page:
Type of Label None
posted by 445supermag at 7:15 AM on July 25, 2008

I have one of the "Green Jellö" CDs. Have often wondered if it were worth something. It's some funny stuff.
posted by NedKoppel at 7:39 AM on July 25, 2008

jdfan, must not forget Cannibal Corpse.

Maybe the world will vomit forth a Green J. Lo collaboration. That'd be fun.
posted by Lou Stuells at 7:45 AM on July 25, 2008

posted by owtytrof at 8:06 AM on July 25, 2008

That's Maynard James Keenan from Tool singing the bit "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin."

And Danny Carey on drums.

Maybe the original lineup was shitty, but I don't think it can be said that subsequent incarnations of Green Jellÿ weren't technically proficient.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:09 AM on July 25, 2008

God damn if this isn't nostalgic. I remember back when I was 13 and 3 Little Pigs was all over MTV and all of my metal friends were so obsessed with learning this song and covering it in their bands.

Now all kids do is play guitar hero...

posted by daHIFI at 8:24 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

/feels old
posted by daHIFI at 8:25 AM on July 25, 2008

Green Jelly or Jello or whatever was strangely popular among some of my friends back in the 7th grade. That year in gym class we had the dreaded dance unit, in which students in groups of four had to prepare a dance routine to a song of their choice and perform it in front of the whole class. Some people had a lot of fun with this but for a bunch of self-conscious outsiders like us the very idea of it was pure torture.

Anyway naturally the song we chose was "Cereal Killer" by Green Jelly. We brought in a dozen old cereal boxes and set them up like they were a city, then as the song played we stomped on them like we were Godzilla. Awkardly. And looking like we didn't want to be there. When it was over there was confused applause and a general feeling of "wtf?" to which our timid response was kind of a sad shrug. The mark we got was 24/50, which was certainly a message from the teacher that he wanted us to know that this unit was supposed to be easy and we had still failed. To this day it remains the only failing grade I have ever received on anything.

Next year the dance unit came around again. That time we did some shitty disco dance to "Staying Alive". It was pretty miserable, but at least we were confident enough to enjoy ourselves and I was very proud of my 70 percent.
posted by PercussivePaul at 8:37 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

... purports to be the world's worst band...

What about Legion of Rock Stars? (previously, 1 & 2)
posted by Pronoiac at 9:50 AM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

What about Legion of Rock Stars? (previously, 1 & 2)

Funny you should mention them; I was just listening to their cover of Orinoco Flow. Fun.
posted by LSK at 10:27 AM on July 25, 2008

Ah yes, Cannibal Corpse. I remember seeing a flyer for them playing at Mr. Grouchos and then something like 10-12 years later they were touring. Time flies.
posted by jdfan at 12:55 PM on July 25, 2008

Dr-Baa : "House Me Teenage Rave" is one of my favorite tracks of all time.

For those unfamiliar with this truly brilliant piece of work, the title is a bit of a joke, the actual lyrics are "whip me teenage babe" and the song is about a guy trying to get the full rave experience, which apparently involves something called "snakey" and being put on The Wheel.
posted by quin at 2:30 PM on July 25, 2008

eideteker; some friends of mine were taking a canoe trip down a creek in ohio back in the 80s. they were drifting along having a fine time on a lovely spring day when they rounded a bend & noticed something ... odd ... up the sloop from their position. it was a young couple in love, in flagrante delicto, a la the missionary position. the woman noticed them first & they heard a muffled squeal followed by some mumbling, at which time the gallant young man jumped up and ran off into the bushes, leaving his blushing lady friend in full blush ... and in full view of my canoing friends. the trio stared at each other for a brief moment, before the young lady jumped up and followed her paramour into the bushes and my friends cracked up laughing.

that has nothing to do with green jello/jelly, but it's a good canoe story.
posted by msconduct at 2:43 PM on July 25, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh my christ, are they really reforming? Three Little Pigs was one of those 90s MTV experiences for me, much like daHIFI and I would absolutely kill to see them live. Halfway through reading the thread I went and dusted off my Cereal Killer CD.

*rocks out*

Thanks LSK!
posted by saturnine at 2:47 PM on July 26, 2008

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