The Material Girl is now a tangible investment
August 20, 2008 2:50 AM   Subscribe

Follow the money: for the past year, the big trade was short bank stocks, and use the cash to go long oil. Massively profitable, but now that trade is unwinding. So where is the big money being invested now? Lots of places: diamonds, fine art, guitars, and Madonna.
posted by Mutant (36 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Back in the 80's I owned two art galleries in New York, so fine art as an alternative investment class didn't surprise me. Neither did diamonds or perhaps even guitars (the '42 index' tracking guitars has returned 31% per annum over the past 17 years. Not too shabby.

But the Madonna as an investment angle is very amusing. What was that expression about a fool and his money ...
posted by Mutant at 2:51 AM on August 20, 2008


If a fool and his money don't show her proper care then she'll just walk away-ay?
posted by cgc373 at 2:55 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]


Bowie Bonds
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:58 AM on August 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


I know where my retirement fund is going.
posted by PenDevil at 2:59 AM on August 20, 2008


What the fuck do you think you're doing?
posted by three blind mice at 3:38 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]


I know where my retirement fund is going

"showing signs of performance wear and age related soiling"

I can recommend against that.
posted by vbfg at 3:47 AM on August 20, 2008


"Diamonds are getting rarer. The earth just isn't giving them up," said Mr. Sancroft-Baker in a telephone interview.

Was it here that I read about Cartier trading a pearl necklace for a Fifth Avenue townhouse? Due to the invention of cultured pearls, today, that necklace is estimated at about $300k, while the townhouse still looks like this.

I know which I'd rather have.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:19 AM on August 20, 2008


Diamonds are getting more common - people can make purer than natural diamonds in machines now.. also haven't these people heard of the debeers cartel that keeps diamond prices artificially high?
posted by zog at 4:42 AM on August 20, 2008


I was under the impression, from a bunch of links in a diamond AskMe recently, that diamonds are absolutely pants as an investment vehicle due to buyers paying fractions of wholesale prices for diamonds bought at well above wholesale.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:42 AM on August 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


The guy on the AM radio told me that gold still has a long way to go - up, that is!
posted by billysumday at 4:55 AM on August 20, 2008


My retirement fund is one '57 gold top Les Paul.
posted by rdone at 5:02 AM on August 20, 2008


I'm investing in pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October. I figure they'll peak right around January.
posted by DU at 6:01 AM on August 20, 2008 [4 favorites]


Ironically all the interest in gold is spurring a huge supply-side ramp-up in environmentally sensitive areas, like the Amazon, where they are destroying large swaths of rain-forest to get at it (with high pressure hoses and mercury, 1849 California style). So, as the world falls apart from environmental destruction, investors turn to "safe" commodities, which in turn speeds up the destruction.
posted by stbalbach at 6:15 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm buying silver, while the price is so low.
Gotta buy low to sell high, right?
posted by Balisong at 6:16 AM on August 20, 2008


why is madonna so much more laughable than fine arts? in both cases you seem to buying into some kind of social convention. is the difference mainly that the market is less established? or is it snobbery?
posted by not sure this is a good idea at 6:43 AM on August 20, 2008


So, as the world falls apart from environmental destruction, investors turn to "safe" commodities, which in turn speeds up the destruction.

At some point, the environment itself will be a good investment, due to its rarity.
posted by smackfu at 6:43 AM on August 20, 2008


why is madonna so much more laughable than fine arts? in both cases you seem to buying into some kind of social convention. is the difference mainly that the market is less established? or is it snobbery?

Oh, come on. A bunch of guys bought a few things a celebrity wore (but did not make), then bought some Lesser Jackson crap at that notorious fire sale, and now want- what?- you to give them money so they can keep on doing it? They won't even identify who they are or why they're at all qualified to do this.

I wouldn't call it an outright scam, but anyone who gives money to something like that is a blind fool.
posted by mkultra at 7:09 AM on August 20, 2008


but did not make
i thought that kind of argument went out the door years ago. you think art is valuable for the craftsmanship?
posted by not sure this is a good idea at 7:14 AM on August 20, 2008


Have you ever tried to sell a diamond?
posted by BeerFilter at 7:28 AM on August 20, 2008


i thought that kind of argument went out the door years ago. you think art is valuable for the craftsmanship?

You're confusing art with memorabilia.
posted by mkultra at 7:36 AM on August 20, 2008


With many vintage guitar models trading well over US$250,000, ACP doesn't see the market being driven up simply by the Baby Boomer generation. The Company views generations X and Y as a major part of the equation.

Uh huh. Who else but Baby Boomers are willing and able to spend six digits on a guitar? I like to think that my generation isn't so fucking stupid.
posted by Paid In Full at 7:41 AM on August 20, 2008


This thread is rife with eponysteria.

Also, if I ever get any money, I am going to drop you a MeMail, Mutant, about whether to go long on Miley Cyrus or short on Usher. (heh)
posted by Mister_A at 7:54 AM on August 20, 2008


I shorted oil through ETFs and I'm using the money to finance my iron condor on Ummagumma.
posted by geoff. at 8:13 AM on August 20, 2008


to go long on Miley Cyrus or short on Usher

Go long on the former and go short on Hannah Montana. It's the best of both worlds!



Why are you looking at me like that?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:16 AM on August 20, 2008


Anybody want some tulips?
posted by DreamerFi at 8:30 AM on August 20, 2008


Alvy, last night I gave my daughter a Hannah Montana yogurt and she was mad because her brother got a Cars yogurt. I felt badly about it but she ate it once I explained that we were out of the Cars yogurts, and it's the same yogurt anyway.
posted by Mister_A at 8:42 AM on August 20, 2008


Diamonds as an investment surprised me. Maybe investment diamonds are different than jewelry diamonds, but the story I'd always heard is that the diamond market is one of artificial scarcity propped up by the supply-side control of DeBeers and other mining consortia, and were it not for that supply regulation, the price would collapse. I.e., they're not as uncommon as the suppliers would like you to believe they are.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:43 AM on August 20, 2008


I swear I read an article every six months about fine art as an asset class for investment. It's that and articles about "suits & ties making a comeback in a business casual world." A quick google search turns up art as investment articles from 2006, 2005 and 2004.
posted by mullacc at 8:43 AM on August 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


The fact that some people invest in a thing doesn't make it a wise investment.
posted by Mister_A at 8:49 AM on August 20, 2008


I swear I read an article every six months about fine art as an asset class for investment.

I swear that Klarman mentions it in his book as being an example of a product created by banks just to generate income and screw investors, and this was in the 80s.
posted by geoff. at 8:52 AM on August 20, 2008


Ironically all the interest in gold is spurring a huge supply-side ramp-up in environmentally sensitive areas, like the Amazon, where they are destroying large swaths of rain-forest to get at it (with high pressure hoses and mercury, 1849 California style). So, as the world falls apart from environmental destruction, investors turn to "safe" commodities, which in turn speeds up the destruction.

Copper, bauxite, and iron ore, rather than gold (which is extracted principally from underground, rather than open pit, mines) , are behind the most environmentally damaging mining practices. And when it comes to the Amazon, though a few open pits and some runaway tailings are a problem, sugar is the key villain.
posted by Kwantsar at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2008


Someone call Bear Stearns, I think I know how to bring 'em back from the dead!

See, what you do is you take your Madonna equity and you leverage it to buy a whole bunch of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus, that sort of stuff. Then you take the short-term equity growth from those shares and float it as a derivative. As long as those girls keep making better albums and selling more of 'em - and how could they not, doesn't America always need its morally ambiguous sexpots? - you're gold.
posted by gompa at 9:28 AM on August 20, 2008 [2 favorites]


As it was explained to me, one of the big reasons the housing bubble blew up so quickly is because up-and-coming nations were looking for places to put their new billions and trillions in capital, and the banks were more than willing to take their money, even to the point of writing NINA mortgages just to print more CDOs. At the same time, hedge funds were taking in the money of the new rich in the developing world.

So, as I've understood it, while the housing bubble has popped and a lot of wealth has been wiped off the books, the money's still coming in, and it's still looking for places to go. Thus, the speculation in oil, the money pouring into gold, and hedge funds shorting the bejeezus out of banks.

And now that the hedge funds are pulling out of oil and gold and there's really no money left to be made shorting banks, the money is looking for other places to go. And thus, it's investing in Madonna.

I'm starting to wonder if we're moving into a time where the bubbles are going to be short, sharp, and everywhere. The idea that there are investment opportunities everywhere, and with the Internet and new instruments to extract the wealth from anything (e.g. ETFs), anyone can invest in anything -- or anyone else.

Maybe I should start thinking about turning my daughter into an S-type corp and floating her potential earnings as a bond, then using the capital to pay for her college. Of course, there's always the fear she'll go to art school instead and I'll get sued for not pushing her harder in math.
posted by dw at 10:27 AM on August 20, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, I should keep that 1992 FlyingV in a bank vault until 2028? Really?
posted by _dario at 3:16 PM on August 20, 2008


I've spent the last 12 years dollar-cost averaging into Magic:The Gathering cards. I'm totally going to retire early.
posted by Durin's Bane at 4:01 PM on August 20, 2008


Marquee Capital only solicits investments from high net individuals who meet the "Sophisticated Investor" as defined by the FSA. Selling investments to high net individuals or "Sophisticated Investors" are exempt from FSA regulation. As long as the investor meets the Income Test (earning of >£100,000 per annum) or Capital Test (>£250k in capital excluding property, pensions and insurance)

So only the rich can share in the ownership of a pair of Michael Jackson's old pants. Get saving kids!
posted by rongorongo at 4:02 AM on August 21, 2008


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