The Simplest Weather Report
September 8, 2008 2:04 PM   Subscribe

Umbrella Today? tells you if you'll need an umbrella today. It will also text message your phone in the morning and warn you when you should bring an umbrella. (America only currently.)
posted by scottreynen (47 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm holding out for wipemyassthismorning.com.
posted by yhbc at 2:05 PM on September 8, 2008 [5 favorites]


Sandwich Today? tells you if you should make a sandwich today. It collects delivery data, want ad listings, recent price changes and health department reports from restaurants in your area and decides whether it's in your best interest to brown bag it. It will text message your phone with a simple "yes", or optionally include special sandwich recipes.
posted by Plutor at 2:10 PM on September 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


USA Today tells you about the latest Nascar developments and if you need to be afraid of terrorists today.
posted by ORthey at 2:15 PM on September 8, 2008 [15 favorites]


What if I wear a raincoat? I don't like umbrellas.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:17 PM on September 8, 2008


Zing Today? tells you if you should get out of bed or just lie in despairing at yr life and crafting interweb zings
posted by bonaldi at 2:18 PM on September 8, 2008


This is so awesome. Unlike half this country, I'm not obsessed with high pressure, low pressure, jet streams, hurricane on the other side of the country. I just.... don't care. The only time I ever check the weather is to see if its going to rain or snow. Now I don't even have to do that.
posted by gagglezoomer at 2:20 PM on September 8, 2008


Simple indeed.
posted by heyho at 2:20 PM on September 8, 2008


Umbrella today? Yes. Umbrellas every day, my good man!

What we really need is a website that can tell me what sort of umbrella to carry. For example, my henchmen and I have planned to lift a rare poison-beaked hummingbird from the Gotham City Zoo. It's a certainty that that meddling winged rodent, the Batman, is likely to attempt to interfere. What umbrella to best handle him?

Should I use the old standby, the knockout-gas umbrella? My first instinct is to say "yes", but it has failed me so often in the past. Perhaps the rocket-powered flying umbrella for a quick escape, but that suggests a distinct lack of confidence and character. The machine gun umbrella has a certain utility, but it frankly isn't very flattering, and I don't have time to have it altered.

Umbrella Today? Have your henchmen contact my henchmen when you've designed Which Umbrella Today, and we'll talk.

Wagh! Wagh! Wagh!
posted by Parasite Unseen at 2:20 PM on September 8, 2008 [25 favorites]


US only. not even UK zip codes are being supported.
what happened to world wide web?
posted by krautland at 2:21 PM on September 8, 2008


Today today?
posted by binturong at 2:22 PM on September 8, 2008


In DC, the answer is to keep an umbrella in your office, because it's difficult to predict what's going to be out there when it's time to go home.
posted by Tehanu at 2:23 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


This is great, because I don't have access to the internet, a television, a radio, a window or eyes!
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:23 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


You really should have sock puppeted that one, Parasite.
posted by Caduceus at 2:23 PM on September 8, 2008


Tonight tonight?
posted by sveskemus at 2:24 PM on September 8, 2008


Umbrella Today?

Yes


This is way too vague and ambiguous. I mean, why do I need an umbrella today? Is it going to rain? Is my obnoxious sloppy roommate going to drop a cigar that I need to spear and present before him? Am I going to need to jump off a rooftop and require an improvised parachute?

How the hell am I supposed to prepare myself for the day's trials with just a "Yes"?

Yes: Kung Fu fight at 3pm


Now that is useful information.
posted by quin at 2:27 PM on September 8, 2008 [8 favorites]


US only. not even UK zip codes are being supported.

Because in the UK, the answer would always be "Yes."
posted by desjardins at 2:27 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I just walk around in a Nubrella, regardless of what the weather is, whistling So Fresh, So Clean by Outkast.
posted by cashman at 2:29 PM on September 8, 2008


Still no comparison to the ever-wonderful Do I Need a Jacket? which has yet to lead me astray.
posted by internet!Hannah at 2:29 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Nobody ever needs an umbrella.

Toughen up, wusses.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:33 PM on September 8, 2008


Tomorrow Tomorrow?
posted by cazoo at 2:35 PM on September 8, 2008


I mean, why do I need an umbrella today?

I agree, more factors are needed for consideration. For example, are you single? And is there someone at your bus stop who sometimes shops and shows you what she's bought?
posted by weston at 2:37 PM on September 8, 2008 [6 favorites]


Tonight Tonight Tonight
posted by djeo at 2:41 PM on September 8, 2008


Nobody ever needs an umbrella.

Toughen up, wusses.


John Steed would beg to differ.
posted by Tehanu at 2:41 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Here in the south, people also use umbrellas for shade, so how about that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:42 PM on September 8, 2008


America only currently.
United States thereof, in fact.
posted by fish tick at 2:48 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


Fucking hell guys.

Why not www.picturesofthesky.com, where regularly-updated images of the sky over your city are sent directly to your iPhone so you don't have to bother with all that bothersome tilting your head back five degrees nonsense?
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:57 PM on September 8, 2008 [3 favorites]


Can it text me "you left you umbrella at your last stop again featherhead" so I that I may stop loosing all my umbrellas? I really need that feature. I don't know where I left my umbrella last.
posted by dabitch at 3:08 PM on September 8, 2008


Is it available on the App Store, for free?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:09 PM on September 8, 2008


I signed up. I thought it was cute. I'm overly amused by simplicity. Plus, I have unlimited text messages, so no sweat off of my back.
posted by chara at 3:12 PM on September 8, 2008


When I loose my umbrellas, people flee before us.
posted by everichon at 3:14 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


It says, "No.", but it's currently raining outside. Maybe it wants me to get wet.
posted by ColdChef at 3:15 PM on September 8, 2008


Is anyone working on juicyfightonmetatoday? Cos that would save me--cumulatively--hours of browsing a day. Or, at least, gloriousflameouttoday.
posted by everichon at 3:18 PM on September 8, 2008


It was raining today, and the thing says NO, wtf
posted by metastability at 3:41 PM on September 8, 2008


I put in my postal code and it said, "die in a fire motherfucking Canadian, YES you need a GODDAMN umbrella EVERY FUCKING DAY because it is September now stop WASTING MY UPTIME."

Actually, no, it said, "Zip is invalid," which may be the only three words that would cause me to panic when contemplating a trip to the washroom.
posted by seanmpuckett at 3:44 PM on September 8, 2008 [2 favorites]


Still no comparison to the ever-wonderful Do I Need a Jacket? which has yet to lead me astray.

Eh? I got "Sorry, no DINAJ results for chicago, il were found. Please try again."

By the way, you DO need an umbrella in Chicago today. And a light jacket, if you're so inclined. You're welcome.
posted by desjardins at 3:53 PM on September 8, 2008


Best web service I've seen in quite some time. Thanks!
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:11 PM on September 8, 2008


God DAMN it, now I have the Chicken Tonight jingle stuck in my head.
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:50 PM on September 8, 2008


Oregonians don't use umbrellas.
posted by ottereroticist at 6:16 PM on September 8, 2008


That nubrella is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, cashman. Pair that thing up with a beer hat and a Segway and you're set forever: prepared for all possible weather eventualities - hell, all eventualities of modern life - up to and including moderate hurricanes, marauding grandmothers and ultimate nerd fashion contests.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:22 PM on September 8, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm from the UK and I refuse to use an umbrella. Now I live in Los Angeles, and carrying an umbrella here seems whimsical. Maybe I'll give it a try. I won't sign up for this service, however.
posted by ob at 8:34 PM on September 8, 2008


Today! Today!
posted by OneOliveShort at 8:43 PM on September 8, 2008


Fucking hell guys.

Why not www.picturesofthesky.com, where regularly-updated images of the sky over your city are sent directly to your iPhone so you don't have to bother with all that bothersome tilting your head back five degrees nonsense?

We're in business!
posted by ersatz at 4:33 AM on September 9, 2008


Wow, that Nubrella keeps you dry AND makes you look like a tool! Amazing!

I just keep a small umbrella in my backpack. One in my computer bag. One in the car, on the floor by the side of the driver's seat. Very seldom am I left with no umbrella somewhere nearby when it does rain. It saves me from having to ask "do I need one?" because the answer is always "well, if I do, I already have one".

On the rare occasions when I am without backback, computer bag, or car, I suck it up and get wet. No biggie.
posted by caution live frogs at 6:21 AM on September 9, 2008


For my fiancé: aretheseclothescleanenoughtorecycle.com
posted by desjardins at 8:05 AM on September 9, 2008


For the record: Umbrella today says I will not need am umbrella today. The weather report says it will rain later.
posted by Comrade_robot at 10:22 AM on September 9, 2008


Regarding the NuBrella.

Stupid simply does not have enough synonyms.
posted by Debaser626 at 2:55 PM on September 9, 2008


... and Umbrella Today was right!
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:33 PM on September 9, 2008


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