Mail-Order Friends: The Comic Book Squirrel Monkeys
September 29, 2008 6:50 PM   Subscribe

I remember wondering if those monkey ads were real. I enjoyed reading this - thanks for posting!
posted by moonmilk at 7:03 PM on September 29, 2008

Can you call self-link on an infinity of monkeys?
posted by heeeraldo at 7:08 PM on September 29, 2008

I was sure Comic Book Squirrel Monkeys was going to be the name of a band.
posted by smartyboots at 7:56 PM on September 29, 2008

Great post: childhood memories, funny pet stories, comic books... and monkeys are just funny. Funny monkeys.
posted by not_on_display at 8:09 PM on September 29, 2008

Leave the monkeys alone!
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 8:18 PM on September 29, 2008

Maybe one should write about the fabled 'x-ray' vision glasses that all giddy school boy fantasized about. Oops, already done.
posted by edman at 8:42 PM on September 29, 2008

I wanted a pet monkey up until I read Where the Red Fern Grows at around 8 or 9 years old. The vivid descriptions of grevious puncturing by way of monkey biting put me right off of the idea pretty much for life, and I've always maintained a healthy respect for apes and monkeys and primates of all sorts, homo sapiens or not.

However, if you want to get a pet moneky, be my guest. Just make sure you post the videos on YouTube.
posted by loquacious at 9:21 PM on September 29, 2008

Is this not a late return to Monkey News?
posted by jimmythefish at 9:46 PM on September 29, 2008

There was monkey biting in WTRFG?

First book to ever make me cry.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:14 AM on September 30, 2008

So many of my peers doubted the prospect of live mammal delivery after having been burned by the cruel hoax of the Sea Monkey, but not I. Lawns were mown, candy foregone, and loose change assiduously acquired. A young man of enterprising nature might amass child-sized wealth, divided into monthly expenditures, and have a steady stream of squirrel monkeys delivered to the vacant building down the street, for at least one magical summer.

Ah, the sweet, sweet vivisections of youth.
posted by adipocere at 4:04 AM on September 30, 2008 [2 favorites]

I haven't read one in years, but the comics of my youth were just chock-full of bitter disappointment. We just didn't know it.
posted by tommasz at 7:24 AM on September 30, 2008

Most of them are still like that tommasz, just now it has nothing to do with the ads.

Cool post, I always wondered how successful the ads were. Thanks!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:34 AM on September 30, 2008

I saw jay Leno tell a story about getting one of these when he was a kid. The box finally came and when they opened it, the monkey (well, they think it was a monkey) jumped out and started to race around the house and his mom freaked out and chased it out the door with a broom. Never saw it again.

I read comics when I was a kid but don't remember these ads. I do remember the ad for the 2 man submarine you could build yourself. Oh I wanted one of those bad.
posted by vronsky at 9:12 AM on September 30, 2008

While I was definitely not going to get burned on a fake submarine or brine shrimp sea people, the "foot locker" full of plastic toy soldiers ("army men" in our boomer parlance) seemed too good to pass up. Despite warnings from my parents, I clipped the coupon and mailed off my hard earned allowance anyway. After interminable weeks, the tiny package arrived. Like the comic book ad subs and log cabins, the foot lockerishness was merely an imprint on cardboard. Rather than able to hold the kit of a true serviceman, it was half the size of a shoe box. How could hundreds of army men fit in this thing? Easy, if they are not the three dimensional finger-sized sculptures I expected, but rather flat brittle thumbnail sized simulacras, not even worthy of being cheap Crackerjack prizes! "Man, what a gyp!" I wept. "Caveat emptor," chuckled papa.

Comic book ads = life lessons.
posted by bonefish at 1:58 PM on September 30, 2008

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