OJ to take his search for the 'real killers' into the Nevada state prison system
October 3, 2008 11:15 PM Subscribe
O.J. Simpson convicted of twelve counts of kidnapping, armed robbery. Background for this case. This conviction comes on the 13th anniversary of his acquittal for the murder of his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ronald Goldstein.
I wonder if he is still a believer in the jury system now.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:22 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:22 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
The public fascination with Simpson continues to baffle me.
posted by davidmsc at 11:22 PM on October 3, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by davidmsc at 11:22 PM on October 3, 2008 [4 favorites]
Seriously though, I hope they throw the book at this sorry fucker.
posted by puke & cry at 11:25 PM on October 3, 2008
posted by puke & cry at 11:25 PM on October 3, 2008
Whatever. Also, it's Ron Goldman, not Ronald Goldstein.
posted by turducken at 11:25 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by turducken at 11:25 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
Now he'll never find Nicole's real killer out on all those golf courses he's been searching.
posted by scody at 11:30 PM on October 3, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by scody at 11:30 PM on October 3, 2008 [5 favorites]
davidmsc writes "The public fascination with Simpson continues to baffle me."
Yeah, what's so interesting about a multi-millionaire Heisman Trophy-winning actor brutally murdering his wife and her friend and then being acquitted, only to end up serving the rest of his life in prison for armed robbery and kidnapping?
posted by mullingitover at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008 [50 favorites]
Yeah, what's so interesting about a multi-millionaire Heisman Trophy-winning actor brutally murdering his wife and her friend and then being acquitted, only to end up serving the rest of his life in prison for armed robbery and kidnapping?
posted by mullingitover at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008 [50 favorites]
FTA: Both men will likely spend the rest of their lives in prison.
What's the chances of staying free while appealing. No African-Americans on the jury... they targeted OJ... OJ deserves leniency as a single parent...
I hope I'm wrong.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008
What's the chances of staying free while appealing. No African-Americans on the jury... they targeted OJ... OJ deserves leniency as a single parent...
I hope I'm wrong.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008
The jury of nine men and three women, none of them African-American
The appeal rights itself.
posted by puke & cry at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008
The appeal rights itself.
posted by puke & cry at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008
This one wasn't as fun. No dancing Itos, for example.
posted by dhartung at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by dhartung at 11:31 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
I guess he didn't think his cunning plan all the way through.
posted by Mr_Zero at 11:32 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr_Zero at 11:32 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
turducken: Also, it's Ron Goldman, not Ronald Goldstein.
(slaps forehead; adds to list of stupid mistake he never thought would happen to him...)
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:33 PM on October 3, 2008
(slaps forehead; adds to list of stupid mistake he never thought would happen to him...)
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:33 PM on October 3, 2008
[mistakes]
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:35 PM on October 3, 2008
posted by Guy Smiley at 11:35 PM on October 3, 2008
rights = writes.
posted by puke & cry at 11:37 PM on October 3, 2008
posted by puke & cry at 11:37 PM on October 3, 2008
What's the chances of staying free while appealing.
He was taken immediately into custody with no bail.
posted by krix at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2008
He was taken immediately into custody with no bail.
posted by krix at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2008
Here's a question for everyone.
Is his obvious guilt over the double-murders justification for what could be, from what little I know of the case, a totally fucked up clown car circus of a case and trial in which some players may have been motivated by the desire to "get him"? That is, it seems very possible that he did not get an entirely fair shake in this trial -- is that excusable as a way to give him what he "deserves" from the last trial?
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2008
Is his obvious guilt over the double-murders justification for what could be, from what little I know of the case, a totally fucked up clown car circus of a case and trial in which some players may have been motivated by the desire to "get him"? That is, it seems very possible that he did not get an entirely fair shake in this trial -- is that excusable as a way to give him what he "deserves" from the last trial?
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2008
This is probably the happiest we'll ever be about a prejudicial verdict.
posted by dhammond at 11:41 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by dhammond at 11:41 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]
davidmsc: When did they start chanting "Run, O.J., Run!"? Hint: it wasn't 1994.
1967 USC vs UCLA (watch #32 in the red, especially at e.g. 2:45 and from 5:00 on). And heck, I'm not even a big football fan.
posted by dhartung at 11:44 PM on October 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
1967 USC vs UCLA (watch #32 in the red, especially at e.g. 2:45 and from 5:00 on). And heck, I'm not even a big football fan.
posted by dhartung at 11:44 PM on October 3, 2008 [2 favorites]
I haven't heard a thing about it until now.
I guess I should be glad to be so uninformed about this, it means the MSN is focusing on something non-trivial.
Either that, or my crap-filters are at 100%. In such case, I guess I can withstand a category 5 media clusterfuck (Such as the death of a Anna-Nicole Smith type celebrity)
posted by hellojed at 11:46 PM on October 3, 2008
I guess I should be glad to be so uninformed about this, it means the MSN is focusing on something non-trivial.
Either that, or my crap-filters are at 100%. In such case, I guess I can withstand a category 5 media clusterfuck (Such as the death of a Anna-Nicole Smith type celebrity)
posted by hellojed at 11:46 PM on October 3, 2008
Phew! White folks can breathe easier, now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:50 PM on October 3, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:50 PM on October 3, 2008 [3 favorites]
I really don't know how to feel right now. Even though I thought he was guilty as hell of murder - the jury let him off. Now, I feel like the jury set him up. It's seems impossible that there could possibly be an objective juror anywhere in the US when it comes to OJ. Even if there was a (possible) miscarriage of justice in the first case - I just can't rationalize that it makes it ok to have the opposite miscarriage in this current case. I'll be watching the appeal with interest. All of that being said - I don't have a lot of sympathy for OJ - if nothing else, he's one of the dumbest assholes to ever grace the Earth.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:53 PM on October 3, 2008
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:53 PM on October 3, 2008
FREE OJ , lol
posted by dhammond at 12:01 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by dhammond at 12:01 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
1967 USC vs UCLA (watch #32 in the red,
thanks for that. puts things into weird relief. I didn't see that game but I saw OJ play the next year because a friend's dad forced us to watch the "greatest football player ever" ... and he was still in college. OJ was the Muhammad Ali of football, except he wasn't.
There's an opera in this.
posted by philip-random at 12:02 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
thanks for that. puts things into weird relief. I didn't see that game but I saw OJ play the next year because a friend's dad forced us to watch the "greatest football player ever" ... and he was still in college. OJ was the Muhammad Ali of football, except he wasn't.
There's an opera in this.
posted by philip-random at 12:02 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
The courtroom mic failed to pick up the second half of Johnny Cochran's phrase, "If the glove does not fit, you must acquit."
"But if you kidnap a dude, you're going to Sing Sing."
posted by empyrean at 12:06 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
"But if you kidnap a dude, you're going to Sing Sing."
posted by empyrean at 12:06 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
FTA: Both men will likely spend the rest of their lives in prison.
Unlikely. Ten years, concurrent, out in half that. First offense and all, and it's gonna be appealed to high heaven. Gonna be hard to justify a 65-year-old guy with arthritis being a danger to society.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 12:18 AM on October 4, 2008
Unlikely. Ten years, concurrent, out in half that. First offense and all, and it's gonna be appealed to high heaven. Gonna be hard to justify a 65-year-old guy with arthritis being a danger to society.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 12:18 AM on October 4, 2008
I can understand how someone could think he was set up because lot of people think he escaped justice on the double murder conviction. But by all accounts, he was one of the guys that busted into a hotel room and stole a bunch of shit from someone else armed with a gun.
posted by puke & cry at 12:20 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by puke & cry at 12:20 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Phew! White folks can breathe easier, now.
Dude, O.J. is whiter than you.
In his "suicide note," the only black folks mentioned were three former NFL players and his first wife. He didn't mention any of his children by name. White people "thanked" by name included 18 white business partners and golf buddies, and a supermodel girlfriend.
And oh yeah, Nicole was mentioned, about whom he said, "at times, I felt like a battered husband." He mentioned the Goldman family, too, about whom he said, "I know how much it hurts."
Yes, O.J. Yes, you did know exactly how much it hurt.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:22 AM on October 4, 2008
Dude, O.J. is whiter than you.
In his "suicide note," the only black folks mentioned were three former NFL players and his first wife. He didn't mention any of his children by name. White people "thanked" by name included 18 white business partners and golf buddies, and a supermodel girlfriend.
And oh yeah, Nicole was mentioned, about whom he said, "at times, I felt like a battered husband." He mentioned the Goldman family, too, about whom he said, "I know how much it hurts."
Yes, O.J. Yes, you did know exactly how much it hurt.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:22 AM on October 4, 2008
There's an opera in this.
Imagine if he formed a football team in prison?!? There's a movie in this.
posted by Camofrog at 12:29 AM on October 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
Imagine if he formed a football team in prison?!? There's a movie in this.
posted by Camofrog at 12:29 AM on October 4, 2008 [7 favorites]
OJ promised to one day bring his wife's real killers to justice, and in a roundabout way, he kept his promise. So in addition to being the world's greatest assassin, he is also the world's foremost spiritual detective.
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:51 AM on October 4, 2008 [34 favorites]
posted by billyfleetwood at 12:51 AM on October 4, 2008 [34 favorites]
IMPORTANT: Commodities News Flash! O.J. futures have fallen 12 points.
posted by netbros at 1:24 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by netbros at 1:24 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
To elaborate further, O.J. wasn't some football player of the modern ilk with a thug life hobby on the side. He was white bread clean, not just a football player but The Black Person that White Americans Loved to Like. Part of his schtick as a player was not just running fast, but incredible broken-field running where he leapt over, past, around, and through obstacles that seemed impossible. His Avis and American Tourister ads showed this off, and he was a spokesman for many other brands -- one of the first mega-celebrities in sports. Then there was the movie career. It just seemed inconceivable that this man with the aw-shucks public persona could fall down a rabbit-hole and emerge as the prototypical Angry Black Man. Hell, when he was first arrested I must have been one of millions who just couldn't believe it -- until the Bronco chase. That was probably when a lot of people suddenly grokked that holy shit, he did it.
posted by dhartung at 1:46 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by dhartung at 1:46 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
I understand that the book he had been writing, "How I Did It: Confessions of an Armed Robber of Two Sports Memorabilia Dealers", did not work in his favor during this trial.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:12 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:12 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
"Unlikely. Ten years, concurrent, out in half that. First offense and all, and it's gonna be appealed to high heaven. Gonna be hard to justify a 65-year-old guy with arthritis being a danger to society."
Looking at the District Attorney's complaint [PDF] these are not light charges that O.J. was convicted of. Even if he is 65 and arthritic it didn't stop him from committing armed robbery, kidnapping, assault, and coercion. That seems pretty dangerous to me.
posted by fydfyd at 2:41 AM on October 4, 2008
Looking at the District Attorney's complaint [PDF] these are not light charges that O.J. was convicted of. Even if he is 65 and arthritic it didn't stop him from committing armed robbery, kidnapping, assault, and coercion. That seems pretty dangerous to me.
posted by fydfyd at 2:41 AM on October 4, 2008
Can we get some of that George Lucas magic and remove OJ from The Towering Inferno? The subplot about the electrical system is ruined if everyone thinks OJ set the fire. Or was that just me?
posted by Gary at 3:18 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Gary at 3:18 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
To elaborate further, O.J. wasn't some football player of the modern ilk with a thug life hobby on the side field nigger. He was white bread clean, not just a football player but The Black Person that White Americans Loved to Like a good house nigger.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:56 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:56 AM on October 4, 2008
jeez... PeterMcDermott... I was going to get pissed about that...but, after reading it a couple more times... naw... you put it into an interesting perspective.... And I hate that word...
posted by HuronBob at 5:08 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by HuronBob at 5:08 AM on October 4, 2008
PeterMcDermott:
Yeah, that bullshit race card is what got him off in the first place. Remember Cochran wanting to have Rosa Parks attend the trial? Beyond the murdering of his wife, I can only hope he'll rot in hell for hijacking the race issue to get his worthless ass acquitted.
posted by mattholomew at 5:54 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yeah, that bullshit race card is what got him off in the first place. Remember Cochran wanting to have Rosa Parks attend the trial? Beyond the murdering of his wife, I can only hope he'll rot in hell for hijacking the race issue to get his worthless ass acquitted.
posted by mattholomew at 5:54 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
The appeal justice system rights itself.
You could have changed this to correct that sentence too.
posted by JaredSeth at 6:02 AM on October 4, 2008
You could have changed this to correct that sentence too.
posted by JaredSeth at 6:02 AM on October 4, 2008
The irony is that if O.J. had pleaded to a lesser murder charge in the Nicole/Goldman case, he'd most likely be a free man today, or approaching his freedom. With a fortune substantially larger than the beginning of his jail term, thanks to the stock boom of the nineties and compounded interest. He'd be entering his sunset years in a big house on a ritzy golf course.
Instead, he'll spend the rest of his days in prison, away from his fortune, remote from his family, growing weaker by the hour, an old man.
posted by Gordion Knott at 6:14 AM on October 4, 2008
Instead, he'll spend the rest of his days in prison, away from his fortune, remote from his family, growing weaker by the hour, an old man.
posted by Gordion Knott at 6:14 AM on October 4, 2008
Corn syrup and circuses.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 6:19 AM on October 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 6:19 AM on October 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
"Yeah, that bullshit race card is what got him off in the first place"
Bollocks.
Thanks to the wonder of student life I watched the first OJ trial from start to finish. I remember thinking that the prosecution's argument was delivered with such incompetence that I would have acquitted him too. It wasn't just their incompetence, but the idea that it didn't really matter if they proved his guilt because "everyone knows he did it".
I still think the first OJ Trial was a shining example of the Jury system at work. If you want to put someone away for a brutal murder, first convince a selection of their peers that they committed the crime otherwise they're free to go. If you can't convince them, then your evidence that "they did it!" isn't as good as you thought it was.
After the trial, why the fuck didn't OJ simply escape out of the media glare and live out his life in pampered, anonymous luxury? He knew most of America was out to get him, surely you'd try to avoid even the idea of impropriety in case you get set up.
As for this trial, the severity of the charges against him don't seem to match the reports of the incident in question. But still, what the fuck was he thinking?
posted by fullerine at 6:21 AM on October 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
Bollocks.
Thanks to the wonder of student life I watched the first OJ trial from start to finish. I remember thinking that the prosecution's argument was delivered with such incompetence that I would have acquitted him too. It wasn't just their incompetence, but the idea that it didn't really matter if they proved his guilt because "everyone knows he did it".
I still think the first OJ Trial was a shining example of the Jury system at work. If you want to put someone away for a brutal murder, first convince a selection of their peers that they committed the crime otherwise they're free to go. If you can't convince them, then your evidence that "they did it!" isn't as good as you thought it was.
After the trial, why the fuck didn't OJ simply escape out of the media glare and live out his life in pampered, anonymous luxury? He knew most of America was out to get him, surely you'd try to avoid even the idea of impropriety in case you get set up.
As for this trial, the severity of the charges against him don't seem to match the reports of the incident in question. But still, what the fuck was he thinking?
posted by fullerine at 6:21 AM on October 4, 2008 [3 favorites]
Remember Cochran wanting to have Rosa Parks attend the trial?
Jesus...no? Is that true? That's a downright Rovian level of shamelessness. I think I just found a new career for Uncle Karl.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:21 AM on October 4, 2008
Jesus...no? Is that true? That's a downright Rovian level of shamelessness. I think I just found a new career for Uncle Karl.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:21 AM on October 4, 2008
The Juice squeezed (until the pips squeaked)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:23 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:23 AM on October 4, 2008
And I hate that word...
Which word? Field or house? I think they were both used tastefuly...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:26 AM on October 4, 2008
Which word? Field or house? I think they were both used tastefuly...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:26 AM on October 4, 2008
The jury of nine men and three women, none of them African-American
The appeal rights itself.
I sincerely doubt this. Simpson's lawyers would have to show one of the following things:
1- The people called to be in the jury pool from the general public were not called at random. Good luck on that one. A computer program chooses those people and it would have to be shown that there is some problem with the computer program (this has, believe it or not, actually been done successfully).
2- The clerk in the courtroom who uses some sort of random selection to call up people from the jury pool into the jury box did not use that random selector and instead chose people based on their race. I have never heard of that being done.
3- Once seated, the prosecutor was successful in removing the only black jurors chosen to be seated in the jury box. This is the place where appeals have been historically won. Now, I say this admittedly as someone who did not follow the trial - much less jury selection - but do you think for a moment that the judge in a trial like that was going to be careless about letting anyone black in the jury box slip away? It may have been that there was no one black ever seated. If so, there will be no successful appeal. If there was anyone black seated, I imagine that the judge would have been rather protective of that juror. Appeals based on the racial make-up of the jury are typically successful when there are a few jurors seated who are black and the prosecution has them all removed. In this case, that would seem to have been very unlikely.
posted by flarbuse at 6:47 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
The appeal rights itself.
I sincerely doubt this. Simpson's lawyers would have to show one of the following things:
1- The people called to be in the jury pool from the general public were not called at random. Good luck on that one. A computer program chooses those people and it would have to be shown that there is some problem with the computer program (this has, believe it or not, actually been done successfully).
2- The clerk in the courtroom who uses some sort of random selection to call up people from the jury pool into the jury box did not use that random selector and instead chose people based on their race. I have never heard of that being done.
3- Once seated, the prosecutor was successful in removing the only black jurors chosen to be seated in the jury box. This is the place where appeals have been historically won. Now, I say this admittedly as someone who did not follow the trial - much less jury selection - but do you think for a moment that the judge in a trial like that was going to be careless about letting anyone black in the jury box slip away? It may have been that there was no one black ever seated. If so, there will be no successful appeal. If there was anyone black seated, I imagine that the judge would have been rather protective of that juror. Appeals based on the racial make-up of the jury are typically successful when there are a few jurors seated who are black and the prosecution has them all removed. In this case, that would seem to have been very unlikely.
posted by flarbuse at 6:47 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
1967 USC vs UCLA (watch #32 in the red
Thanks, that was a great blast from the past. The late '60s were the only period during which I watched much football (thanks to an obsessed, Notre Dame-hating uncle and some college friends—I was at Occidental, in LA); USC was Olympus, and OJ was king of it. How that man could run! He made such an impression on me that many years later, when my kid brother (still living in SoCal) called me up excitedly to tell me to turn on the TV and see the Freeway Chase, I shook my head dazedly and tried to figure out how that amazing running back wound up fleeing the cops on a murder charge. My brother, who knew him only from the movies and ads, was contemptuous of my lingering respect, but I just kept saying in stunned disbelief: "But... it's OJ!"
posted by languagehat at 7:11 AM on October 4, 2008
Thanks, that was a great blast from the past. The late '60s were the only period during which I watched much football (thanks to an obsessed, Notre Dame-hating uncle and some college friends—I was at Occidental, in LA); USC was Olympus, and OJ was king of it. How that man could run! He made such an impression on me that many years later, when my kid brother (still living in SoCal) called me up excitedly to tell me to turn on the TV and see the Freeway Chase, I shook my head dazedly and tried to figure out how that amazing running back wound up fleeing the cops on a murder charge. My brother, who knew him only from the movies and ads, was contemptuous of my lingering respect, but I just kept saying in stunned disbelief: "But... it's OJ!"
posted by languagehat at 7:11 AM on October 4, 2008
He didn't mention any of his children by name. White people "thanked" by name included 18 white business partners and golf buddies, and a supermodel girlfriend.
Okay, that right there is such a great sign of the problem in America. Someone actually sat down, made a list of all the people mentioned in his freakin' suicide note, sorted them to "white" and "not white", and then used the resulting ratio as some kind of indicator of.... something.
Think about how ridiculous that is, both that someone would "score" it like that, and that we'd read about and mmm-hmm approvingly. What if they were sorted into "tall" and "not tall" or "straight-haired" and "curly-haired?"
Crazy, crazy nation.
posted by rokusan at 7:20 AM on October 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
Okay, that right there is such a great sign of the problem in America. Someone actually sat down, made a list of all the people mentioned in his freakin' suicide note, sorted them to "white" and "not white", and then used the resulting ratio as some kind of indicator of.... something.
Think about how ridiculous that is, both that someone would "score" it like that, and that we'd read about and mmm-hmm approvingly. What if they were sorted into "tall" and "not tall" or "straight-haired" and "curly-haired?"
Crazy, crazy nation.
posted by rokusan at 7:20 AM on October 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
Despite not being intimately acquainted with the details of this case, I have a very firm and loud opinion on exactly what happened and what the punishment should be.
posted by Eideteker at 7:30 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by Eideteker at 7:30 AM on October 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
Dude, O.J. is whiter than you.
shit, one of the moments of highest racial tension in recent memory in the US -- it's important to keep in mind that there would have been riots in L.A. hadn't OJ walked, the 1992 riots were still a very recent and painful memory in 1994 -- all for nothing? you should have spoken up back then, save everybody a lot of trouble. OJ was white, nothing to see there.
this thing where well-dressed African American men with proper grammar and good manners and are seen by certain types of people as being "white" is particularly moronic -- reminds me of those assholes who said that since Obama's African ancestors were not slaves he's somehow less African American.
In his "suicide note," the only black folks mentioned were three former NFL players and his first wife.
to pass your kooky "he's African American" test, was he supposed to quote extensively MLK? W. E. B. Du Bois? leave fried chicken stains on the note? seriously, if for you black equals Michael Vick or the ODB, that's seriously, seriously fucked up.
posted by matteo at 7:34 AM on October 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
shit, one of the moments of highest racial tension in recent memory in the US -- it's important to keep in mind that there would have been riots in L.A. hadn't OJ walked, the 1992 riots were still a very recent and painful memory in 1994 -- all for nothing? you should have spoken up back then, save everybody a lot of trouble. OJ was white, nothing to see there.
this thing where well-dressed African American men with proper grammar and good manners and are seen by certain types of people as being "white" is particularly moronic -- reminds me of those assholes who said that since Obama's African ancestors were not slaves he's somehow less African American.
In his "suicide note," the only black folks mentioned were three former NFL players and his first wife.
to pass your kooky "he's African American" test, was he supposed to quote extensively MLK? W. E. B. Du Bois? leave fried chicken stains on the note? seriously, if for you black equals Michael Vick or the ODB, that's seriously, seriously fucked up.
posted by matteo at 7:34 AM on October 4, 2008 [8 favorites]
I think OJ will do well in prison. I think he'll become a memorabilia dealer himself, bartering signed mackerel packets.
posted by Tube at 7:43 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Tube at 7:43 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Eideteker snatches an interception, dodges Cochran and Number 1994 Ito, and vaults past the All-American lineup FOR THE WN!!!
(Yeah, I match that description, too.)
posted by IAmBroom at 7:44 AM on October 4, 2008
(Yeah, I match that description, too.)
posted by IAmBroom at 7:44 AM on October 4, 2008
Anyone thinking OJ will be anyone's 'bitch' in prison is naive. He'll be worshiped. A lot of those guys will have grown up watching him play football and in movies. You think he'll be judged harshly for his crimes, in the joint, by other convicts? He'll be a superstar.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 8:00 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 8:00 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Surely this....
(Hey, we only have twenty-nine more days to use that chestnut. Anyone have a way to count how many times it's been used?)
posted by tzikeh at 8:03 AM on October 4, 2008
(Hey, we only have twenty-nine more days to use that chestnut. Anyone have a way to count how many times it's been used?)
posted by tzikeh at 8:03 AM on October 4, 2008
O.J. is surely familiar with make-up calls from his playing days.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 9:11 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by Benny Andajetz at 9:11 AM on October 4, 2008
Wow- 60 comments and no one's mentioned the legend of Nordberg. Where art thou, Nordberg.
posted by xmutex at 9:15 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by xmutex at 9:15 AM on October 4, 2008
Where art thou, Nordberg.
He's being pulled under a truck for like sixteen blocks, dude.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:29 AM on October 4, 2008
He's being pulled under a truck for like sixteen blocks, dude.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:29 AM on October 4, 2008
Juries are humans, not robots. Appeals are not retrials, but limited and specific reviews of particulars. He's toast.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:08 AM on October 4, 2008
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:08 AM on October 4, 2008
Anyone thinking OJ will be anyone's 'bitch' in prison is naive.
Tell that to the lifer who has nothing better to do with his remaining days than make OJ his bitch.
"I made OJ fuckin' Simpson my bitch" would get you some serious rep on the yard, and all you'd have to do is break down a scared 60-year-old rich dude who's never done hard time before.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:15 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Tell that to the lifer who has nothing better to do with his remaining days than make OJ his bitch.
"I made OJ fuckin' Simpson my bitch" would get you some serious rep on the yard, and all you'd have to do is break down a scared 60-year-old rich dude who's never done hard time before.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:15 AM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
OJ, you just got served. Served like a Thanksgiving turkey.
This bozo wasn't even smart enough to lay low and not jeopardize his ill-gotten freedom. Screw you, OJ. And I say this as a fan of the Naked Gun movies and your Nordberg character.
posted by porn in the woods at 10:26 AM on October 4, 2008
This bozo wasn't even smart enough to lay low and not jeopardize his ill-gotten freedom. Screw you, OJ. And I say this as a fan of the Naked Gun movies and your Nordberg character.
posted by porn in the woods at 10:26 AM on October 4, 2008
Tell that to the lifer who has nothing better to do with his remaining days than make OJ his bitch.
O.J. will be in Ad Seg the whole time. The only person who might have a chance of making O.J. his bitch is, of course, Wayne Brady.
posted by MikeMc at 10:34 AM on October 4, 2008
O.J. will be in Ad Seg the whole time. The only person who might have a chance of making O.J. his bitch is, of course, Wayne Brady.
posted by MikeMc at 10:34 AM on October 4, 2008
The Goldman family has a lawyer, who appears to have a significant retainer for no other purpose but to hunt down his assets. Living in anonymity wasn't an option, not forever.
My theory: He ran out of money, so he cut a deal with the Goldman's. He'd go to jail. They'd make sure his kids were taken care of, with whatever assets remained.
Did nobody notice he did all this, the week his book came out? Not the week before, not the week after?
posted by effugas at 11:22 AM on October 4, 2008
My theory: He ran out of money, so he cut a deal with the Goldman's. He'd go to jail. They'd make sure his kids were taken care of, with whatever assets remained.
Did nobody notice he did all this, the week his book came out? Not the week before, not the week after?
posted by effugas at 11:22 AM on October 4, 2008
The funny part is, this all happened in Palace Station. This was probably the BEST thing that happened in Palace Station that week. Most depressing casino in history......
posted by lattiboy at 12:55 PM on October 4, 2008
posted by lattiboy at 12:55 PM on October 4, 2008
Yeah, hi folks. Just wanted to let you know that gloating and cracking prison rape jokes don't convince me that you're on any kind of legitimate moral high horse. I'm more likely to assume you just delight at the thought of a black man going to jail, than that you have a measured appreciation for justice being served in this case.
Cut it the fuck out.
posted by Riki tiki at 2:58 PM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Cut it the fuck out.
posted by Riki tiki at 2:58 PM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Riki tiki: Yeah, hi folks. Just wanted to let you know that gloating and cracking prison rape jokes don't convince me that you're on any kind of legitimate moral high horse. I'm more likely to assume you just delight at the thought of a black man going to jail, than that you have a measured appreciation for justice being served in this case.
Cut it the fuck out.
I don't think it's racially motivated, I think this is just bringing in all the 'tough on crime' types. It kind of violates the spirit of the law that they're essentially punishing him for a crime that he was acquitted for (anyone else would have gotten a slap on the wrist for this armed robbery, particularly a celebrity, and especially since he was kind of stealing his own stuff back) and it absolutely violates the spirit of the law for them to celebrate prison rape, but whatever.
'Tough on crime' people do not exhibit actual reverence for the law or for order in general, they're just about making criminals suffer, by whatever means.
posted by Mitrovarr at 3:40 PM on October 4, 2008
Cut it the fuck out.
I don't think it's racially motivated, I think this is just bringing in all the 'tough on crime' types. It kind of violates the spirit of the law that they're essentially punishing him for a crime that he was acquitted for (anyone else would have gotten a slap on the wrist for this armed robbery, particularly a celebrity, and especially since he was kind of stealing his own stuff back) and it absolutely violates the spirit of the law for them to celebrate prison rape, but whatever.
'Tough on crime' people do not exhibit actual reverence for the law or for order in general, they're just about making criminals suffer, by whatever means.
posted by Mitrovarr at 3:40 PM on October 4, 2008
Go fuck yourself.
Upon further review that was a bit harsh wasn't it? Let me try it again:
I respectfully disagree with your assumptions.
I'm not so sure I like that one either.
posted by MikeMc at 3:52 PM on October 4, 2008
Upon further review that was a bit harsh wasn't it? Let me try it again:
I respectfully disagree with your assumptions.
I'm not so sure I like that one either.
posted by MikeMc at 3:52 PM on October 4, 2008
There's an opera in this.
Totally. This was fantastic.
posted by nonmyopicdave at 3:59 PM on October 4, 2008
Totally. This was fantastic.
posted by nonmyopicdave at 3:59 PM on October 4, 2008
anyone else would have gotten a slap on the wrist for this armed robbery
anyone else in my neck of the woods would get hard time for what he's just been convicted of - and he's only been convicted, not sentenced, so you don't know if he's going to get a slap on the wrist or not
'Tough on crime' people do not exhibit actual reverence for the law or for order in general, they're just about making criminals suffer, by whatever means.
"let's be understanding" people do not exhibit actual compassion for criminals or for prisoners in general, they're just about making citizens suffer by rape, robbery, murder, assault etc etc etc
one straw man deserves another
posted by pyramid termite at 4:01 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
anyone else in my neck of the woods would get hard time for what he's just been convicted of - and he's only been convicted, not sentenced, so you don't know if he's going to get a slap on the wrist or not
'Tough on crime' people do not exhibit actual reverence for the law or for order in general, they're just about making criminals suffer, by whatever means.
"let's be understanding" people do not exhibit actual compassion for criminals or for prisoners in general, they're just about making citizens suffer by rape, robbery, murder, assault etc etc etc
one straw man deserves another
posted by pyramid termite at 4:01 PM on October 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
pyramid termite: anyone else in my neck of the woods would get hard time for what he's just been convicted of - and he's only been convicted, not sentenced, so you don't know if he's going to get a slap on the wrist or not
Anyone else wouldn't have been charged with or convicted of so many counts. The prosecution was doing some serious double-dipping with the charges. The convictions for kidnapping are especially telling - doesn't every armed robber 'kidnap' someone in this sense? Yet, I somehow suspect every armed robber is not charged with and convicted of kidnapping. I think a normal person without a record would have gotten tagged with one count of armed robbery for the entire affair, plus maybe weapons charges.
posted by Mitrovarr at 4:12 PM on October 4, 2008
Anyone else wouldn't have been charged with or convicted of so many counts. The prosecution was doing some serious double-dipping with the charges. The convictions for kidnapping are especially telling - doesn't every armed robber 'kidnap' someone in this sense? Yet, I somehow suspect every armed robber is not charged with and convicted of kidnapping. I think a normal person without a record would have gotten tagged with one count of armed robbery for the entire affair, plus maybe weapons charges.
posted by Mitrovarr at 4:12 PM on October 4, 2008
Anyone else wouldn't have been charged with or convicted of so many counts.
again, not true, but perhaps it takes a celebrity arrest to get you to pay attention to how crime is prosecuted in this country
posted by pyramid termite at 5:06 PM on October 4, 2008
again, not true, but perhaps it takes a celebrity arrest to get you to pay attention to how crime is prosecuted in this country
posted by pyramid termite at 5:06 PM on October 4, 2008
one way or another - gotcha OJ. yes we would think he would have behaved himself.
posted by essa at 1:18 PM on October 5, 2008
posted by essa at 1:18 PM on October 5, 2008
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