I will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall.
October 8, 2008 9:16 AM   Subscribe

Fire, brimstone & pee. (SLYT)
posted by felix betachat (38 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Cortex wept.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:20 AM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

wgp laughed.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:42 AM on October 8, 2008

If you pisseth against the wall, thine walls shall reek nigh unto heaven of thine piss.

So count me out of the ice cream social at Pastor Anderson's house.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:42 AM on October 8, 2008

Pissing against the wall == "what being a man is all about"

This speaker makes the classic, cowardly decision of getting suddenly loud and shouty when he feels himself losing the attention of the audience. To anyone who actually IS paying attention to what he's saying, it just makes him seem crazy.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:43 AM on October 8, 2008

He got kinda pissy towards the end.
Standing up pissy I mean.
posted by Outlawyr at 10:07 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Pissing against the wall increases the chances of splashback and wet feet. God had it right, methinks.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:08 AM on October 8, 2008

According to this old slang dictionary, "pissing against the wall" could mean people who are drunkards, not just "males" which some later translators of the bible interpreted it as. Interesting to watch the mis-interpretation of the Bible in action.
posted by stbalbach at 10:09 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

It's funny because he's wasted his life!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:13 AM on October 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

Interesting to watch the mis-interpretation of the Bible in action.

Note to self: Must not misinterpret the Bible.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:21 AM on October 8, 2008

Mark Twain weighs in on pissing against the wall.

Pissing against the wall is apparently one of the standard Specimens of Filthiness and Obscenity in the Bible.

Another possible interpretation is a dog, since dogs piss against walls, and dogs traditionally in the Middle East are seen as un-clean ie. a non-believer.
posted by stbalbach at 10:21 AM on October 8, 2008

Piss Sandwich. With a side of shit.
posted by dbiedny at 10:28 AM on October 8, 2008

This Hebrew/English dictionary from 1855 associates dogs with "pissing against the wall".
posted by stbalbach at 10:28 AM on October 8, 2008

I have heard addled crack heads pursue a more rational, ordered line of thinking.
posted by Xoebe at 10:32 AM on October 8, 2008

"From the mouth of God"...When, oh when will I ever hear a fundamentalist admit that the Bible was not written in English, and therefore it's unclear that God actually uttered the word "pisseth."

...and did anyone else expect this to be a video of a preacher who pisses himself?...is it wrong that I did?
posted by salishsea at 10:36 AM on October 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

Keine sitzpinkel!
posted by Nelson at 11:39 AM on October 8, 2008

Thinking about this more, I think I know what happened. It's a Baptist preacher form of hazing. They put bible scripture references in a big bag and shake it up, like Scrabble tiles. Then each of the new preachers draws a scripture and has to give next week's sermon on what he drew.

Bobby got Exodus 9: depressing, a bit historical, but you could make a good story with it. Kind of like playing a K. Jason got Luke 10, the Good Samaritan. Awesome draw, easy sermon, the S of the Bible scripture bag. But Steven, he drew 1 Kings 14. So he's got to deliver a sermon about peeing standing up. That's the damn Q of the bible. And since he's preaching KJV, he's got the actual Q tile, not the Qu. Poor bastard.

You can bet the older preachers were all in the back row, laughing and snickering. They probably posted a sitzpinkel sign in his bathroom, too.
posted by Nelson at 11:59 AM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wow, Mrs. Anderson is a real piece of work.

No Clay Aiken fan, that's for sure.
posted by felix betachat at 12:03 PM on October 8, 2008

I just read felix betachat's links and Mrs. Anderson's hate-filled screed ALMOST made me like Clay Aiken for a second.

Evidently all that stuff about loving your neighbor doesn't apply to fags and libruls. Or fag-loving libruls.

The pee video was, I thought, funny, in a ha-ha lookit the crazy preacher kinda way. But her blog... Wow. That's a concentrated dose of hatred right there.

Now I am sad.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:21 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

But really, has anyone seen signs like this in Germany? Been there twice, never saw a sign, peed standing up everytime.

The "poop decks" on the other hand... that's something to preach about.
posted by nitsuj at 12:32 PM on October 8, 2008

But really, has anyone seen signs like this in Germany?

You need more Green Party members in your life.
posted by felix betachat at 12:37 PM on October 8, 2008

According to their website, they reject the teaching of Calvinism. These people need to battle it out with the Phelpses and have a hate preach off whilst pissingeth againsteth the walleth. They would eventually get into an argument about the one thing they disagree on (Calvinism) and erupt into flames of eternal damnation.
posted by robtf3 at 12:40 PM on October 8, 2008

... Jack Shephard? Preaching to the flock!? What!!?
posted by boy detective at 2:08 PM on October 8, 2008

That was really funny, unless you thought about it in any way whatsoever. Then it grew more and more complex until finally, when he was shouting about being a man and etc. my head was spinning and I had to go take a lie down.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:20 PM on October 8, 2008

Religion is the opium of dumbasses.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:07 PM on October 8, 2008

Well, at least Pastor Anderson hasn't quit his day job, err, week day job .

According to the onlycooltim, he supports his family selling smoke detectors. You'd think he'd just pee fires out like a man, but he of little faith relies on electricity and the fire department.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 4:19 PM on October 8, 2008

Man based on the FPP title I thought he was going to wet himself onstage. Alas, no.

"They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, huh? 'I think what God meant to say...' I have never been that confident."
-Bill Hicks
posted by nudar at 4:31 PM on October 8, 2008

..... (thought to self) never wonder why i'm not religious.
not so much the pissing ont he wall as more the fact that they need to amend the bible.
so how many 'amendments' have taken place in the last how ever many thousand years.

judging on how man looks after his planet, that cant be a good thing.

the protector of woman has oppressed the protector of man.. based on a talking snake in a tree.

tho depends on what you call a man i spose. grrrrrrrr
posted by lacol at 4:48 PM on October 8, 2008

sorry if i offended in my previouse post it was an attack on peoples beliefs. It was stupid and off the point.
its just I have so many logical and simple questions about religion, and every time i ask, i get told off.
Would God fear questons?
posted by lacol at 5:04 PM on October 8, 2008

It must have come as a real shock to everyone to hear that Clay Aiken has come out of the closet as being gay.

Clay Aiken was in a closet?!?
posted by swell at 5:34 PM on October 8, 2008

I'm German and I have seen signs like this in a few people's homes. There's really several reasons for this:

1) if nobody pees standing there won't be spray on the seat or rim and the next person needing to sit down won't have to worry about it. Most of these signs I've seen in homes of women or places shared by men and women. Often the sign will be fixed to the underside of the lid so if you're about to pee standing you'll see it as soon as you flip up the lid.

2) the risk of splashback and spray is actually much greater with the type of toilet bowls used in Germany. Most of them are not like the standard bowls here in the US which are usually deep, filled with water and have the outlet hole in middle or back. Instead they've got this sort of raised flat shelf which doesn't really hold any water and the hole is in front down below the shelf. Don't ask me why this is the way it is... the only thing it seems practical for is if you feel the need to visually inspect your poop which ends up stacked on the shelf until you flush. After living in the US for many years it always feels weird to use these toilets again when I visit back home.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:53 PM on October 8, 2008

No comments on this post. I don't care what all you fag-loving liberals think, I wish you would stop reading my blog anyway.

38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[c] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
-Matthew 22:38-40
posted by swell at 5:55 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

A man's necktie should end halfway through the belt buckle. He is not a man.
posted by jimmythefish at 6:28 PM on October 8, 2008

Wait a minute...the Bible specifically said pisseth against the wall, right?

And this guy talks about using a toilet?

posted by PlusDistance at 6:39 PM on October 8, 2008

2) the risk of splashback and spray is actually much greater with the type of toilet bowls used in Germany. - as much splash-back as one might get from say, peeing on a coffee table.
posted by tellurian at 11:06 PM on October 8, 2008

Hum. The guy claims to be a Christian, right? And he has memorized large portions of the Bible, but only half of the New Testament? Seems as if he's focusing on the wrong half of the book, for a Christian.

Second. Pissing against the wall? I've done that. Hell, when I was 16, visiting Spain, and drunk with a bunch of young Spaniards, one of them asked, in a thick Basque accent, if I had ever "pissed against a cathedral". I answered in the negative, so he took it upon himself to correct that situation. As Clint Eastwood said in Heartbreak Ridge, "It seemed like the thing to do at the time." Does this drunken act make me a man? No, but it was sure as hell funny to me when I was younger.

Third. I love it when people claiming to be good, responsible God-fearing citizens expose themselves as the hateful, angry, xenophobic persons they really are. There are a lot of good people who attend church, but attending church does not automatically make anyone a good person. Dude and his wife are whack, yo. Sadly they are encouraging this kind of intolerance and closed-mindedness in their kids right now. Poor little home-schooled buggers...

Fourth. Send your kids to day care? They'll die, of course, because they aren't attached to Mommy's nipple at day care. Yes, lady-with-excess-Zs-in-her-name, all of America should be stay-at-home moms because you yourself prefer to be a stay-at-home mom. Rather than give a logical argument she resorts to the BUT THINK OF YOUR BABY scaremongering tactic. Nice.
posted by caution live frogs at 7:01 AM on October 9, 2008

The irony of these hateful supersized families being, of course, that the more sons they have, the more statistically likely it is that one of them will be gay.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:37 AM on October 9, 2008

Does he think God dictated in King James' English? It is entirely possible he does. I bet this man doesn't know a word of Hebrew besides "Jehovah," or a word of koine besides "Christ."
posted by Countess Elena at 4:24 PM on October 9, 2008

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