I don't hate them nearly as much as I'd expect to for making me miss out on Smurfs
"Gee Wussy Smurf, I'm feeling smurfy today! Isn't that smurfy?"
"Yes, Wimpy Smurf, that's very smurfy! I'm smurf to hear it!"
"I think I'm going to go down to the smurfeteria and have a nice, smurfy breakfast!"
"I think I will join you, Wimpy Smurf! And maybe we will meet up with Lame-o Smurf on the way to the smurfeteria!"
"Oh, that would be simply smurfy! Let's go!"
[Jack Chick is] also a well-known anti-Catholic bigot
What did God tell you about Homosexuality?
When I was only 5 years old, God greased up my carrot and held it in his hand. As he lovingly stroked my onions he told me, "Son, don't you ever let any man do what I'm doing to you right now. Only stick your carrot into barnholes. Carrots go into barnholes. Got that? Don't you go sticking your carrot into another man's mouth or mystery hole...or you'll DIE and go to HELL."
And did you believe him?
I sure did! If I hadn't believed what he told me, you can bet I would have acted on my desires long ago and jumped every man on earth.
What? What did you say?!?
Don't you get it? All men are homosexuals! But God says it's wrong, so no one is supposed to act on their true desires! That's the basis of Christianity. You're not supposed to do the things you really want to do. Next question.
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