The Garvanian
November 26, 2008 12:24 PM   Subscribe

Garvan Ellison purports to be an expat Ulsterman now living in Chesterfield, England. His persona is that of a funeral director with a macabre sense of humour, who baits sparrows for his cat Zoe, spies on his neighbors Wong, Raj and Marvyn with CCTV, tests electrical outlets by poking a pen knife in the socket, writes odes to Sarah Palin and expounds broadly on his flat earth view of science and religion. His blog entries are a delightful tongue in cheeck variety of the charming, the whimsical and the bizarre.
posted by Neiltupper (5 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
This is a total rip off of coldchef.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:41 PM on November 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

Has Harry Hutton suddenly got more spare time?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:02 PM on November 26, 2008

How can a man who likes the working class not like foxes? There's no logic to his position!
posted by Abiezer at 1:36 PM on November 26, 2008

I'm not quite sure where to file this post (charming, whimsical or bizarre) but I'm leaning towards charming as in, 'that's fucking charming that is':
World's Most Sinful Cities
In recent times, the Lord has shown that He is running out of patience when ungodly men indulge their ungodly lusts in ungodly cities. September 11th saw New York get hit, just like the Bible foretold it would in Revelation:

And the kings of the earth, who committed fornication and were wanton with her,
will weep and wail over her when they see the smoke of her burning; they
will stand far off, in fear of her torment, and say, “Alas! alas! thou great
city, thou mighty city, Babylon! In one hour has thy judgment come"
Rev 18:9-10.

Then we had the mighty hurricane which struck the sinful city of New Orleans and then the awesome Tsunami that struck the muslim country of Indonesia.


Other sinful cities that might soon experience his judgement include:

1. San Francisco - homosexual capital of the western world. Also home to the demonic 'green' agenda.
2. Las Vegas - city of greed, excess and prostitution.
3. Amsterdam - city of vice, where prositution and drugs are legalised and where (as a result) half the population has picked up some sort of STI.
4. Tehran - home of the mad mullahs, who have been plotting how to destroy the Lord's homeland (Israel).
5. Vancouver - another city than has chosen to go soft on drugs and prostituion.
posted by tellurian at 2:34 PM on November 26, 2008

cheeck cheek. My spell chek must be brocken
posted by Neiltupper at 2:47 PM on November 26, 2008

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