The Old Ball and Chain
December 4, 2008 8:00 AM Subscribe
"The best man was Kirk "Spanky" Smyth, who had recently been caught passing through the metal detectors with Buck knives in his rectum. Today he was loaded on smack and rubbing his face red." A Los Angeles Times series examines a woman's quarter-century of marrige to a man behind bars. Part Two. Part Three.
Interesting and strange story. I have to imagine it wouldn't be in the paper at all if the couple weren't white.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 9:19 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 9:19 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Pam brought a giant crab one time for dinner, not thinking they would need a crab cracker, and Robert spent that evening making a mess of it on the floor with a can opener. It would be one of her favorite memories.
Whereas for me, it just reminds me of the time he made a mess of his best friend on his cell floor with a speaker wire for a garrot and pencil that he plunged all the way into his eyball. But then Robert has never written me sensitive letters quoting Wordsworth and John Denver.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:30 AM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
Whereas for me, it just reminds me of the time he made a mess of his best friend on his cell floor with a speaker wire for a garrot and pencil that he plunged all the way into his eyball. But then Robert has never written me sensitive letters quoting Wordsworth and John Denver.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:30 AM on December 4, 2008 [5 favorites]
...the corrections department sent him to the crucible of the madness, San Quentin....
Robert marveled at the old fortress, festering in the wet wool fog off San Francisco Bay. Concrete spalled off the crenelated walls.
This is an interesting story, but the way it's written has me dreading the upcoming steamy love scene.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:06 AM on December 4, 2008
Robert marveled at the old fortress, festering in the wet wool fog off San Francisco Bay. Concrete spalled off the crenelated walls.
This is an interesting story, but the way it's written has me dreading the upcoming steamy love scene.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:06 AM on December 4, 2008
I have to imagine it wouldn't be in the paper at all if the couple weren't white.
A non-white head of the Aryan Brotherhood? You think that wouldn't make the papers?
posted by Floydd at 10:06 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
A non-white head of the Aryan Brotherhood? You think that wouldn't make the papers?
posted by Floydd at 10:06 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
I have to imagine it wouldn't be in the paper at all if the couple weren't white.
Congratulations on being that guy.
posted by katillathehun at 10:14 AM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
Congratulations on being that guy.
posted by katillathehun at 10:14 AM on December 4, 2008 [4 favorites]
This is a fascinating story. Especially since I myself get weak in the knees for white supremacist murders who order death hits. Yum.
posted by tiger yang at 10:44 AM on December 4, 2008
posted by tiger yang at 10:44 AM on December 4, 2008
Congratulations on being that guy.
OK.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 11:03 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
OK.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 11:03 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]
Wow. What a story, and what a sad ending.
It seems that some people in this thread don't believe that some people who have committed heinous crimes can actually be reformed.
posted by gnutron at 11:29 AM on December 4, 2008
It seems that some people in this thread don't believe that some people who have committed heinous crimes can actually be reformed.
posted by gnutron at 11:29 AM on December 4, 2008
What I don't believe is that you step away from a leadership role in a prison gang and don't end up dead. I'll concede that it may not be possible to get to someone who's in Pelican Bay.
posted by rdr at 12:46 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by rdr at 12:46 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
It was an interesting article, but if you want to read a truly disturbing and fascinating true story about love and incarceration, read Red Zone. It's about the San Francisco dog mauling murder and the bizarre psycho-sexual drama between the lawyers charged in the case and the prison gang member who ran the fighting dog ring.
posted by eperker at 1:01 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by eperker at 1:01 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Or, while we're at it, if you'd like a fiction story about a (sort of) love story between a man in prison and, well... I should just let you read it. It's an awesome read: The Interloper.
posted by eperker at 1:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by eperker at 1:04 PM on December 4, 2008 [1 favorite]
Did he get the nickname "Spanky" with or without the knives up his ass? 'Cause a knife-in-the-ass spanking seems like it'd be pretty uncomfortable.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:08 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by kirkaracha at 1:08 PM on December 4, 2008
where's alanon when you need them ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:19 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:19 PM on December 4, 2008
The best man was Kirk "Spanky" Smyth, who had recently been caught passing through the metal detectors with Buck knives in his rectum.
I always thought that was called "keistering", but the guys who I work with who are ex-cons call it "up the hoop"...
I thought myself clever (and old enough to remember the 1970's) when I recognized the Bride using a Buck brand folding knife to extract revenge on the evil orderly Buck in the hospital scene in Kill Bill.
posted by Tube at 5:20 PM on December 4, 2008
I always thought that was called "keistering", but the guys who I work with who are ex-cons call it "up the hoop"...
I thought myself clever (and old enough to remember the 1970's) when I recognized the Bride using a Buck brand folding knife to extract revenge on the evil orderly Buck in the hospital scene in Kill Bill.
posted by Tube at 5:20 PM on December 4, 2008
That was a pretty fascinating read. Thanks for posting this.
posted by mosk at 9:52 PM on December 4, 2008
posted by mosk at 9:52 PM on December 4, 2008
Yes, well-written and fascinating and sad. The reporter had just the right touch, I think-- sympathetic but not necessarily buying anyone's "side."
posted by Maias at 8:26 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by Maias at 8:26 AM on December 5, 2008
eperker, I may have to read Red Zone simply because it's written by someone named Aphrodite Jones.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:33 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:33 AM on December 5, 2008
(Eperker, I bought Red Zone at Half.com on your tip and am looking forward to reading it.)
posted by applemeat at 8:48 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by applemeat at 8:48 AM on December 5, 2008
I'm getting Red Zone too. I've read a few Aphrodite Jones books, but not this one. Thanks Eperker.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:52 AM on December 5, 2008
posted by Bookhouse at 8:52 AM on December 5, 2008
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That is all.
posted by Jofus at 8:39 AM on December 4, 2008 [2 favorites]