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January 10, 2009 6:08 PM   Subscribe

Possibly the most surreal children's video ever made. Dance, dream and cringe along with Creating Rem Lezar.
posted by freshwater_pr0n (25 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
i resolve to stop using the internet to try and fill empty spaces in my life...








posted by geos at 6:30 PM on January 10, 2009 [2 favorites]

posted by SmileyChewtrain at 6:46 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

As always, the YouTube comments for the vids are priceless:

the acting is as good as in a pornography

This could be the worst thing ever created in the history of art/film/media/video -- basically, this is the worst form of any recorded expression since the beginning of time.

holy shit this can easily be a horror movie... the beginning of this clip consists of the entire class obsessed with this weird looking pedophile...
posted by terranova at 7:01 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

The most surreal? How about the most disturbing x|
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:01 PM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]

Yeah...uh...Foci's link beats out freshwater's. (excuse me while I go wash out my eyeballs)
posted by marsha56 at 7:06 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Admittedly, I don't know what this is, and I couldn't watch more than about a minute of the first link, but I'm pretty sure the music was created with Songsmith.
posted by mothershock at 7:06 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

This too.
posted by empath at 7:36 PM on January 10, 2009 [4 favorites]

Yeah, 1:23 was where I leapt for the close button.
posted by WCityMike at 7:39 PM on January 10, 2009

This is way more surreal.
posted by phrontist at 8:07 PM on January 10, 2009 [3 favorites]

Whoooa... FoA, what the hell was that? Didn't anybody go to jail for child abuse at getting the little kid actress play that scene? I need nanobleach for my axons now.
posted by Iosephus at 8:09 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

That teacher was most unpleasant; if only her heart was as big as her 80's hair. The hallway was like an afterschool special meets THX-1138 ... clearly the child was beaten to force him to participate, or why would his neck be like that? Guy in a cape ... his power symbol is the bra ... glad to see Ashley has perfected the art of walking away from boys very fast and will come to inspire Meg Ryan's breakout performance soon ... the mannequin make me think of PIN ... why are they staring at his crotch? Wasn't this guy in The Flash? Giant floating pixelated head is part Zardoz and part Tron ... is it kidnapping if you just teleport minors across a state line? Now they're dancing and worshipping the sun god ... those kids are not coming back from those woods, I just know it ... "I think you'd better leave the doll here, son" says the nice policeman, and it's not the last time that kid will hear that ... Lezar really, really isn't gonna let those kids go, he's like a purple Rick Astley if he just wanted to trap children in an endless purple nightmare. We've got it all, day and night. They're going to be spooning applesauce into these catatonic kids about a month from now, and it will never, ever end.
posted by adipocere at 8:25 PM on January 10, 2009

Rem as in REM dream state and lezar(d) as in french for lizard- "dream lizard"
posted by bhnyc at 8:40 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Zack gets in trouble during class for daydreaming about a superhero named Rem Lezar, and is sent to the principal's office. After a discussion about his classroom behavior, he storms out upset that no one understands him and that he isn't the problem but that the adults are. Later in art class, Zack sculpts a model of Rem Lezar, of which Ashlee notices and has also dreamed about and has drawn a picture of. Ashlee is the first person to believe that Rem Lezar is more than imaginary, but she will not speak to Zack as long as he keeps up his sexist attitude. The two decide to bring Rem Lezar to life. That day, the two obtain a male mannequin, though by what means is not explained, and dress it up like Rem Lezar. Rem Lezar hears their desires and comes to life most unexpectedly. He can live but one single day unless they find the Quixiotic Medallion, which has the power to keep Rem alive. The fear-mongering face, Vorock, tells them it is hidden at the height of imagination and that some never find it in the course of their entire life time. The three must search for the medallion, but do not know where to look. Zack believes that it would be at the top of the Twin Towers, whereas Ashlee believes it to be in the mountains. They search both locations with no luck, only to discover that the highest point of imagination is love.


* "Every child has a Rem Lezar."

I wish I made it up.
posted by nitsuj at 8:42 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Released in 1989? Sheesh. It would have grace in 1979 or perhaps 1982, but 1989 is embarrassing. From Wikipedia
Jack Mulcahy plays Rem Lezar, who more recently can be seen in a series of Snicker's candy bar commercial playing the guitar and singing. Both Jonathan Goch and Courtney Kernaghan, who played Zack and Ashlee respectively, have no added acting credits to their names. Scott Zakarin, who wrote, directed, and played as Vorock in the film has produced more recently internet movies and shows such as, Soup of the Day, The NoHo, HiHo and WeHo Girls, The VanNuys Guys and Shatnervision. Though the film remains in obscurity, it appears to be gaining an internet following via youtube.com, myspace.com, and facebook.com, with its memorable scenes and unintentional one-liners.
posted by stbalbach at 8:51 PM on January 10, 2009

Christ, phrontist, the monkey thing is terrifying.
posted by empath at 8:53 PM on January 10, 2009

Why are you all trying to hurt my brain and all of the organs required to tell my brain it's being hurt?
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 9:01 PM on January 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

The most surreal? How about the most disturbing x|

posted by R_Nebblesworth at 9:15 PM on January 10, 2009

Love that clip, empath. I've seen it somewhere before but absolutely can't remember where or when.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:25 PM on January 10, 2009

The most surreal? How about the most disturbing x|

posted by louche mustachio at 9:44 PM on January 10, 2009

surreal is the new blasé
posted by moonbird at 10:02 PM on January 10, 2009

Yeah, I only lasted about two minutes into the first clip. Gah.

Oh, and Foci's link is just a big plate of wrong.
posted by LMGM at 3:59 AM on January 11, 2009

WTF Foci's link WTF?
posted by five fresh fish at 11:29 AM on January 11, 2009

The most surreal? How about the most disturbing

Before I even clicked on Foci's link, I knew it was going to be Sweet Daddy Bear.

Some info on what movie it's from.
There's more clips from the movie on Youtube.
posted by stifford at 12:54 PM on January 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

I found the superhero's smile to be only a little more molester-y than the young Anakin apparition at the end of the re-redone Return of the Jedi.
posted by bugmuncher at 3:02 PM on January 11, 2009

My name is Zak. My wife's? Ashley.

Coincidence? Definitely.
posted by owtytrof at 1:22 PM on January 12, 2009

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