I hear the secrets that you keep...
February 2, 2009 5:11 PM   Subscribe

Rich Jones has been told that he talks in his sleep quite a bit. The next logical step, of course, was to record his sleep talk and post it on the web.
posted by damn dirty ape (36 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
When I click that link I hear secrets that he keeps.
posted by Hoopo at 5:23 PM on February 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

"Jesus christ jerk"
posted by isopraxis at 5:31 PM on February 2, 2009

Damn. Hey, I know I'm not the first to look dumb while being a smartass on Metafilter. Can I please have a free pass this time for not reading the title?
posted by Hoopo at 5:32 PM on February 2, 2009

So this is it. We are now literally posting whatever random thoughts happen to enter our brains.

posted by DU at 5:32 PM on February 2, 2009 [7 favorites]

All we need now is a post whose title references Greg Kihn's "Jeopardy" and we'll have the hat trick.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:42 PM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

He's got nothing on Dion McGregor.
posted by grounded at 5:42 PM on February 2, 2009 [14 favorites]

wow, grounded... I've never heard of him. Crazy stuff.
posted by ORthey at 5:52 PM on February 2, 2009

I know someone who holds meetings in their sleep. Long, boring meetings,
posted by unrepentanthippie at 5:53 PM on February 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

Slate journalists have been doing this for years
posted by mattoxic at 5:57 PM on February 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

What's fascinating is that it sounds like every other person talking in their sleep, with this fuzzy, sing-song, speed-up-slow-down cadence.

What does it sound like when someone using another language talks in their sleep? Are there commonalities in delivery style, or is what I described only common among English speakers?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:02 PM on February 2, 2009

Some years ago a girlfriend told me I would talk in my sleep, mostly about being chased by the CIA & similarly scary things. Which wasn't too far off from reality, truth to tell. It was around that time I was in a tug-of-war between the CIA & NSA in a turf battle involving some very weird people.
posted by scalefree at 6:24 PM on February 2, 2009

Metafilter: “Just a frenzy! it’s weird.. weird”
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:26 PM on February 2, 2009

True story: I once had a boyfriend who often talked in his sleep. One morning as I was getting up, he said to me: "Watch out for the bad guys. They won't wear Play-doh and they have maps to the stars' homes."
posted by grounded at 6:50 PM on February 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

So this is it. We are now literally posting whatever random thoughts happen to enter our brains.

Haven't seen the monument to the Attention Deficit Death of Civilization that is Twitter yet, have you?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:33 PM on February 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

My SO has trouble sleeping. Sometimes, he gets prescribed sleeping meds to help with his sleeping. These don't always help him sleep, but they certainly change his sleeping habits.

A few years ago, I was struggling to get to sleep when he had already gone out like a light about half an hour previously. But he was also hogging the bed. I asked him to scoot over, and he replied, "Waffles." I said, "Hey? ... What did you say?" And he mumbled something. I said, "Do you know you just said waffles?" And at this point, apparently he was frustrated with me disturbing his sleep because he pronounced, irritated and ready to have the final word, "Everybody talks about waffles sometimes!" And then he plopped back into place, dead asleep again.

When he does things like this, he has no memory of it at all after the fact. He swears he never said any such thing. But he's wrong about that.
posted by Ms. Saint at 8:02 PM on February 2, 2009 [3 favorites]

Oh can you, just you, scranton
You'll break it, bry things it'll fall off it
We've got them in stock
Lubzen going and alsa things, screaming?
The lubz are going, you've always go a chance
Oh macrony, you’re so rancid though, so crony, old crony
So welcome
The omelette, ohhhh ahhhhhh
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:05 PM on February 2, 2009 [1 favorite]

From Wikipedia: "An LP of his dream diatribes – The Dream World Of Dion McGregor (He Talks In His Sleep) – was even released to minor acclaim by Decca Records in 1964. A book of the same name, containing the transcripts of a wider selection of McGregor's dreams, and with illustrations by Edward Gorey, was also published in 1964."

No way. I'd never heard of that guy before and I'm in awe.

For years I had to make sure I didn't sleep in the same room with a telephone and eventually I taught myself to wake up fully the second a phone rings. I had to, because for years I used to answer the phone in my sleep and have full conversations with people. Most memorable was one where I told my sister that my mother couldn't come to the phone because she was busy standing in the sink. My sister then asked if I was asleep. I angrily replied no, told her she was rude to accuse me of such things, and hung up on her. I was 9.

My grandmother said that I woke her up once by singing the Star Spangled Banner, and legend has it that when my other sister and I shared a room we used to argue with eachother in our sleep from opposite sides of the room. Knowing our relationship, I actually find this very, very easy to believe.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:15 PM on February 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

I speak Dreamlandic in my sleep. It's all just nonsense sound that sound like Icelandic. Apparently sometimes I speak in Dreamlish, which is the same but sounds like English. I really should record that, I've always been curious as to what it sounds like.
posted by Kattullus at 8:18 PM on February 2, 2009 [2 favorites]

I don't want to know what I say in my sleep. I've heard bits and pieces from SOs, and that is enough. I already have enough randomness to keep track of.
posted by schyler523 at 8:21 PM on February 2, 2009

He's got nothing on Dion McGregor.

posted by mediareport at 8:22 PM on February 2, 2009

Influences: Drugs
Sounds Like: Tom Cruise sucks.

Very posh!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:59 PM on February 2, 2009

I had a girlfriend who recorded the things I said in my sleep and made a big poster out of the greatest hits. "They're all going to turn into fart machines" pretty much topped it.

I'm apparently capable of having nearly-complete conversations on simple topics without waking up. My wife has taken to asking me complicated questions about international affairs, or asking me to do algebra problems, before she'll accept that my brain is switched on.
posted by 1adam12 at 1:15 AM on February 3, 2009

The site the Dion McGregor page links to is pretty funny too.

posted by Rykey at 2:04 AM on February 3, 2009

MetaFilter: Everybody talks about waffles sometimes!
posted by Eideteker at 4:10 AM on February 3, 2009

He's got nothing on my Flash slideshow of belly button lint.
posted by applemeat at 5:48 AM on February 3, 2009

I frequently laugh in my sleep. On several occasions, I've been gently awoken by my sleeping partner for fear I was in the middle of a nightmare. Nope, I just have really funny dreams sometimes.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:15 AM on February 3, 2009

I can talk in my sleep on demand. The way it works is, I'll be reading to my kid, and since I'm laying in bed all snuggled up at the end of the day, I'll start to drift off, and instead of reading the words on the page, I'll start saying random things. My kids each dealt with it differently. My oldest girl would push me and say, "Daddy, talk right!" My next oldest girl wouldn't say anything, just give me a sharp elbow in the ribs to get me on track again. And my son just laughs and laughs.

To do: start my own religion where I induce this half-asleep phase in people reading aloud, and then use transcripts of their recorded babbling as holy scripture.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:31 AM on February 3, 2009

I apparently was laughing hysterically in my sleep once. My wife asked me what was so funny, and I said something about "hooking up a Comodore 64 to a much older Commodore." I have no recollection of it myself, and have no idea why I found it so funny...
posted by Foosnark at 9:45 AM on February 3, 2009

Perhaps this was the much older Commodore.
posted by Eideteker at 10:32 AM on February 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Me and my dad both sleep talk. He sleep sings, reasons and once figured out that I had snuck into their bedroom to get the laundry late at night, and yelled at me for it. It was more like he shouted my name and said WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? I WILL POUR WATER ON YOUR HEAD. I WILL.

I knew I had an unhealthy love for the internet when at temple camp someone snuck into my tent and heard me rattling off URLs in my sleep. My sister says once I sat up at night, eyes closed, shouted "Great website!" rather loudly and then fell back to the mattress muttering incoherently.
posted by mmmleaf at 6:43 PM on February 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Nothing beats my best friend. I've lived with her off and on for years, and shared three rooms with her. "All right, Hitler, let's make a deal!"
posted by duvatney at 7:45 PM on February 3, 2009

Or my boyfriend, who once sleepwalked into the kitchen, peed in the vegetable crisper, and then went back to bed (luckily, before we met).
posted by duvatney at 7:46 PM on February 3, 2009

Once, a friend of mine, napping in the guest room, said clearly and distinctly as I was walking past: "Nooo! Sarge has the poop!"
posted by rifflesby at 7:49 PM on February 3, 2009

"All right, Hitler, let's make a deal!"

Channelling Neville Chamberlain from the sounds of it.

ooooh, buuurrrrnn!
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:25 PM on February 3, 2009

I am not a frequent sleep-talker but when I do it's always good. Sometime in the mid-90s I uttered a phrase that is still legend in my family: "How many dogs are behind me? Three dogs? Are you a dog?"
posted by m@ at 9:59 PM on February 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm told that, in addition to a lot of talking & laughter, I sing & whistle in my sleep. Just humble little tunes. I like doing that.

My wife once sat bolt upright in bed & said, as clear as day, "I've got you now, you funny little fellow!" She told me later she had been chasing a jacket named Li'l Redfur.
posted by Forrest Greene at 8:27 AM on February 4, 2009

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