Sweden's version of R. Lee Ermey isn't scary, more like creepy.

February 7, 2009 6:52 PM

Do you have what it takes to be an officer in the Swedish Armed Forces? ["Headphones required", new window pops]
posted by zardoz (21 comments total)

Is this real, or a gag? Cause I could use a job…
posted by paisley henosis at 6:58 PM on February 7, 2009

Oh, and my mouse sucks, so once things got going, I had a hell of a time keeping the red ball in the white area.
posted by paisley henosis at 6:59 PM on February 7, 2009

Official officer training for the Swedish military is conducted through Försvarshögskolan (Swedish National Defense College).

But it was a fun test, administered by an authentic-sounding Swede.
posted by gemmy at 7:29 PM on February 7, 2009

I don't even have what it takes to be a stockboy at Ikea.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:44 PM on February 7, 2009

That was the greatest thing I have done since Battle School.
posted by humannaire at 7:57 PM on February 7, 2009

Is there some of "endowment" requirement to get into the Swedish army because after that first part I'm kind of assuming that's how your steer.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:25 PM on February 7, 2009

They really need to recruit better Swedish flash programmers. The program ganked on me several times.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 9:43 PM on February 7, 2009

This would be fun if flash player 10 wasn't a buggy piece of shit.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:46 PM on February 7, 2009

That was really well done.

Also, I'm apparently what they're looking for!

Too bad I'm not swedish.
posted by empath at 9:50 PM on February 7, 2009

What empath said. I thought it was pretty neat, and I apparently did well.
posted by schyler523 at 10:17 PM on February 7, 2009

Yeah, I had a really great time playing this. Even if it wasn't real, it felt like all this attention was on me and testing me and grading me. I felt like I was at a psychiatrist.
posted by Corduroy at 11:00 PM on February 7, 2009

I repeatedly asked him to stop the annoying pacing and to address me in a more polite tone of voice. I also asked for a bathroom break, phone-a-friend privileges, and some M&Ms.
posted by terranova at 11:29 PM on February 7, 2009

I too had problems with flash. I was doing quite well until the instructor gave the memory test. about half way through he would only ask me to find the first shape in the sequence and then silence would follow. I clicked randomly and got the first two sets correct but it went downhill from there....

its possible that he was attempting to project the instructions into my head and i simply failed to establish the psychic link up...

Which confirms a few of my suspicions about the Swedish Armed Forces.

Or, at the very least, explains the funny iridescent man who shows up in my dreams and sings sweet melodies of world domination in a soothing Swedish accent.
posted by vantam at 12:44 AM on February 8, 2009 [1 favorite]

The memory test refused to acknowledge my correct answers until I also selected the incorrect ones, then gave me a bad score. Bah. I think it failed to announce the next shape I was supposed to select.

Then, find and highlight words... yet no words appear.
posted by alexei at 12:52 AM on February 8, 2009

Yes I do, but they rejected me as I'm too short. I did the real tests.
posted by dabitch at 3:27 AM on February 8, 2009

The Swedish military is weird.

Named Swedish Artillery (NSFW, but not p0rn either)

Sweden’s Defence Minister Leni Björklund has said she is dismayed over a film showing naked Swedish soldiers firing practice ammunition.

The film was made the summer of 2004, according to Swedish Television’s Uppdrag Granskning. It shows a weapons exercise featuring conscript soldiers from the Amphibious Regiment on Vaxholm.

“This has no place in the Swedish military,” Björklund said.

Soldiers edited the film themselves and among other things show two naked soldiers - wearing only helmets – burning themselves on hot shell casings.

Rough language is heard from those behind the camera. The shooting is accompanied by loud music.

posted by melissam at 5:14 AM on February 8, 2009 [2 favorites]

Bullshit! I can't hear you!
posted by jeversol at 9:23 AM on February 8, 2009

Until it crashed on me I was unusually tense the whole time because I expected it to be a more elaborate version of one of those shock sites ("put on headphones and turn the volume up" - yeah, right).

But I liked the somewhat stilted and contrived reasoning behind the tosks tasks: "We need people who can move a mouse in a circle while pressing space and entering numbers, because that's what counts in a war zone!"
posted by PontifexPrimus at 11:29 AM on February 8, 2009

The final test (balance the cross in the circle) could probably make a decent game on its own.
posted by Tzarius at 1:35 AM on February 9, 2009

I don't even have what it takes to be a stockboy at Ikea.

No shit.

"Excuse me sir, can you tell me where you keep the Fnords?"

"Sure ma'am, go down this aisle until you see the Sproingen, then turn left. You'll see them on the right just after the Schpankslaat. If you see lingonberry syrup, you've gone too far."
posted by Pollomacho at 5:19 AM on February 9, 2009

If you don't get the relevance of these follow-the-ball tasks, here is some context: 1 2 (Old finnish comedy show Kummeli)
posted by Free word order! at 4:17 PM on February 9, 2009