Just how often has Morrissey gone unclothed?
February 18, 2009 2:28 PM   Subscribe

Just how often has Morrissey gone unclothed? [Note: naked Morrissey.]
posted by joeclark (45 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
probably every morning of his life in the shower. what do i win??
posted by spicynuts at 2:29 PM on February 18, 2009


What's on the b-side? Does it mean he's single?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:36 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


penis mightier than the sword
posted by plexi at 2:37 PM on February 18, 2009


link
posted by plexi at 2:38 PM on February 18, 2009


If he hadn't been identified otherwise, I'd have sworn that was Dan Hedaya.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:43 PM on February 18, 2009


Choco-Pickle: Request for such addition sent. Though, being homosexualist, an image of five near-naked guys standing together never strikes me as unsafe. Hence it never occurred to me. Other sensibilities may be at play, I admit.

Also! I usually hate Mark Simpson, but I liked this post.
posted by joeclark at 2:45 PM on February 18, 2009


I'd have to say I prefer the young Morrissey, which perplexes me because I'd go with present-day Alec Baldwin. Oh the flightiness and fluidity of female desire.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:46 PM on February 18, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's not that naked men aren't safe for work, it's that Morrissey isn't safe for anyone.
posted by mikeh at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2009


At the exact moment that I read this post, I was watching the intro sketch to MST3k episode 401 with Morrissey singing "Hairdresser in a Coma." Just thought I'd share.
posted by cimbrog at 2:55 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


He is a man of means, of slender means!
posted by stinkycheese at 2:56 PM on February 18, 2009


Where are the exploding kegs?
posted by Free word order! at 3:04 PM on February 18, 2009


More I see
posted by applemeat at 3:15 PM on February 18, 2009


It's nothing serious. He found the fountain of youth and he fell in. There's more to life than books, you know.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:21 PM on February 18, 2009


I'm not gay and really pretty much just find the male form unattractive, but I've always made one exception. I would totally bottom for Morrissey. I don't care what you say.

Oh, and the new record is awesome (I have the leak). People who see Morrissey as some monkish sexless doom-and-gloom freak and who would be surprised that he would ever be gasp!naked have mostly never listened to his music or really know anything about him other than misremembered NME interviews or whatever. He's just the sort of rock star that would prefer the company of friends or a good book to being found passed out with his head in a toilet in some L.A. night club.
posted by DecemberBoy at 3:26 PM on February 18, 2009 [4 favorites]


I will have to check out the new album, his recent stuff has been pretty hit and miss.
posted by PeterParker at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2009


There's more to life than books, you know.

But not much more.
posted by Beautiful Screaming Lady at 3:40 PM on February 18, 2009 [5 favorites]


Heaven knows I'm visible now
posted by Flashman at 4:01 PM on February 18, 2009 [9 favorites]


I don't know what that blog was on about saying Morrissey looked like a pub owner - he's ten years older than I am and I don't look anywhere near that fit.

Good on ya, Moz.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:04 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


I will have to check out the new album, his recent stuff has been pretty hit and miss.

I've loved all three of the more recent albums. You Are The Quarry was amazing, Ringleader of the Tormentors less so but still really good, and the new album probably somewhere in the middle. I used to be one of those huge Smiths fans who wasn't as much into his solo work (I always loved the Your Arsenal/Vauxhall era stuff, not so much the earlier and subsequent records), but his newer work has won me over and made me reevaluate some of the older records.
posted by DecemberBoy at 4:17 PM on February 18, 2009


Charming. And all man.
posted by unSane at 4:18 PM on February 18, 2009


I like how instead of NSFW tags it just says Nude Morrissey. Obviously saving yourself some effort there, otherwise having to write Not Safe For Work, Home, While Eating, Before Sleep Or Some Form Of Rest, Within 12 Hours Of Sexual Intercourse, While Brushing Teeth, Public Transportation, Private Transportation, Certainly Not While Visible Through Your Window ...
posted by mannequito at 4:22 PM on February 18, 2009


Personally, I found this article about his status as a Latino saint totally fascinating. I have always wondered what the deal was with that.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:28 PM on February 18, 2009


I have always wondered what the deal was with that.

I always thought it was sort of obvious. He was born a lower-class kid from England's equivalent of the barrio. He's used a lot of machismo sort of imagery and cultural references (rockabilly dudes, skinheads, scooter boys, etc.) in his persona. In The Smiths' early days, their fans were often working class macho dudes as well. Something about his music has always spoken to rough-and-tumble young men near the lower end of the social order, and in LA, where he lived for a long time, that often means Mexican-American vatos.
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:07 PM on February 18, 2009


He's no Momus.

/obligitory
posted by sourwookie at 5:18 PM on February 18, 2009


Oh. Sweetness.
posted by tkchrist at 5:38 PM on February 18, 2009


You had me at "naked Morrissey"
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 5:50 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, yes, in one way it seems natural and makes sense now in retrospect. But in other ways it felt very unexpected given the importance of machismo inherent in Latino culture. (I'm saying this from the perspective of a woman who's part hispanic & grew up a half hour from Mexico.) Morrissey's status as a mysterious asexual icon in the early 80s likened him more to an effeminate Bowie character in the beginning. That a fey Brit would evolve into a sainted hero of Echo Park and Barrio Logan wasn't all that predictable back then, more likely I would've expected him to get beaten up. But I think this video* really nails it, though. It's appealing that he's not what their culture is about at all and they relate his feelings of being an outsider. They actually embrace being an outsider evey more *by* liking Morrissey.

And hey, at least the love is mutual... 'cuz according to that clip, Morrissey likes the "great combination" of their "fantastic hair, fantastic skin and usually really good teeth." Bueno!

*OMG! Sparks!
posted by miss lynnster at 5:55 PM on February 18, 2009


Elvis Costello without all that pesky talent!
posted by cmoj at 6:02 PM on February 18, 2009 [2 favorites]


We may have found the bright side of losing the img tag.
posted by caddis at 6:25 PM on February 18, 2009


Just how often has Morrissey gone unclothed?

He would go out tonight, but he hasn't got a stitch to wear.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:33 PM on February 18, 2009 [3 favorites]


The more I ignore him, the nuder he gets.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:43 PM on February 18, 2009 [3 favorites]


I saw Morrissey in concert on his birthday. He tore off his shirt and said, "This is what forty-eight looks like," then pitched it into the crowd. My date squeed; evidently some part of her has never left England.
posted by adipocere at 6:44 PM on February 18, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm trying to think of a naked Morrissey pun, but it's surprisingly difficult.
posted by BabySeven at 6:56 PM on February 18, 2009


Elvis Costello without all that pesky talent!

Fail troll is fail.
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:31 PM on February 18, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm trying to think of a naked Morrissey pun, but it's surprisingly difficult.

stop me if you think that you've seen this wang before.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:49 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


A nation turns its back and gags...
posted by timing at 8:28 PM on February 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh Morrissey, you naked Handsome Devil!
posted by wherever, whatever at 9:08 PM on February 18, 2009


Huh, didn't know I was gay.
posted by Sailormom at 9:18 PM on February 18, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yes, he has the body of a middle-aged male celebrity who scandalously refuses to hire a personal fitness trainer...

The hell? He has a gorgeous body. Can't believe that such a waifish thing could become such a sexy middle-aged man- not that I haven't seen it happen before- check out before and after pics of Brian Eno. Must be an English thing.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 5:22 AM on February 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


odd that Morrissey, who once defined that sort of youthful pretty boy effete thing, now looks more like an aging drunken football hooligan.
posted by shmegegge at 9:22 AM on February 19, 2009


Miss Lynster, thanks for that article on Morrissey and his latino fans. I think it's pretty on-the-money, but I'd add this: people think of Morrissey as an Englishman (and he is) but he's really Irish too. Both his parents are first generation immigrants. They would have had strong accents. Growing up in Manchester, Morrissey would have absolutely been part of the Irish underclass. Socially speaking, that position is pretty much exactly the same as that of his latino fans in the US; even down to being brought up with a strong Catholic indoctrination in a society which is not dominated by that religion. Basically Manchester Irish = LA Latino.

All The Smiths were Irish actually: Morrissey, Marr (Maher), Rourke and Joyce...

posted by tiny crocodile at 9:40 AM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'd have to say I prefer the young Morrissey, which perplexes me because I'd go with present-day Alec Baldwin

Or a young man's fancy. Sigh.


I to (quietly, secretly) hate it when my friends become successful.

My Mom, who was pretty hard-rockin' her entire life, came to be a big big Morrissey fan when she hit 50. Take that generational trends!
posted by The Whelk at 2:06 PM on February 19, 2009


I to (quietly, secretly) hate it when my friends become successful.

Oh look at no clothes
Now look at that wang, it's so old
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:56 PM on February 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dana Gould's tribute to Morrissey will never sound the same again.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 7:47 PM on February 19, 2009


Nor will Oscillate Wildly.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:00 PM on February 19, 2009


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