Hotels in the 80s were so much more fun.

February 27, 2009 10:28 AM

Another relic of the cheesy, horny, big-haired 1980s (well, besides your yearbook picture)... Chippendales guys were more than just photographs! If you only click one link though, it really should be this one. (NSFW - butts, crotches, and Judy Landers in lingerie for the dudes)

Featuring the Chippendale's dancers, Michael Rapp and Judy Landers

posted by miss lynnster (30 comments total)

I thought bestiality was illegal.
posted by plexi at 10:35 AM on February 27, 2009

Metafilter: Butts, Crotches, and Judy Landers in Lingerie
posted by hifiparasol at 10:42 AM on February 27, 2009

I remember when my cousin called, shocked having just heard the news that Freddie Mercury was gay. Duhhhh.
posted by pianomover at 10:42 AM on February 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I was always more of an Audrey man.

SPOILER ALERT

In 25 years, all of today's culture will seem laughably dated too.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:43 AM on February 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Thanks for the Judy Landers link, miss lynnster, I couldn't recall for the life of me who she was.

Kim Kardashian, take heed.
posted by tommasz at 10:46 AM on February 27, 2009

These would be softcore taters, yes?
posted by louche mustachio at 10:50 AM on February 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

A half dozen comments in and no one has made a TATERS!! joke yet? I am impressed with the restraint.
posted by Bango Skank at 10:50 AM on February 27, 2009

Please retract my previous comment.
posted by Bango Skank at 10:52 AM on February 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I bet nobody would ever have suspected that this would be the first ever use of the "cucumber" tag.

I had to look.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:52 AM on February 27, 2009

oh my god that video my eyes my ears I will never be clean again
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:59 AM on February 27, 2009

I'm kinda shocked nobody has done a youtube link to the Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze SNL video making fun of Chippendale's dancers.
posted by vuron at 11:09 AM on February 27, 2009

I thought bestiality was illegal.

Then I don't wanna be right.
posted by padraigin at 11:12 AM on February 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Ahh, memories. I had to quit dancing for Chippendales because the papercuts from all the crisp C-Notes in the g-string started getting too painful to ignore.
posted by jonmc at 11:13 AM on February 27, 2009

Then I don't wanna be right.

WHAT
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:20 AM on February 27, 2009

That whole scenario just seems too complicated to be sexy.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:25 AM on February 27, 2009

That tattoo...is that on a cankle?

I mean, isn't that just gilding the lily?
posted by darkstar at 11:40 AM on February 27, 2009

Amazing. That video is my new favorite EVERYTHING.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 11:49 AM on February 27, 2009

I enjoyed the doh-see-doh at the 2.07 mark.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:53 AM on February 27, 2009

I...um...well....then....I....uh......MY EYES! AAAIIEEEEEEEEEE!
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 12:29 PM on February 27, 2009

After watching the video, I'm curious: Is a mullet hotter than a ripped bod? I need to know where to focus my limited self-improvement energy.
posted by maxwelton at 1:40 PM on February 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

I was actually invited to it a few times in my early 20s. After watching the videos, I actually like myself SOOOO much more for haughtily telling people I would rather chew glass than tag along.

I've always liked my men unchoreographed. Oh, and straight. That too.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:10 PM on February 27, 2009

Ahh, memories. I had to quit dancing for Chippendales because the papercuts from all the crisp C-Notes in the g-string started getting too painful to ignore.

Really? I had to quit because the weight of my preposterously gigantic junk caused the waist of my g-string to cut into my flesh like piano wire. My wife, Morgan Fairchild, who I've slept with, designed a new one for my uniquely massive "man-atomy," but Chippendales wouldn't let me dance with a non-company outfit.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:33 PM on February 27, 2009 [6 favorites]

I'm curious: Is a mullet hotter than a ripped bod?

Yes. But you've got to do it right: business in the front, party in the back. You can't do it less party in the front, more party in the back, or party in the front, even more party in the back. That's just stupid. The front has got to be all bidness, which is what makes the back available for party.

Do you smell what I'm cookin?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:35 PM on February 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

In the beginning of the "Room Service" video, is he offering her a champagne glass filled with water?
posted by Evangeline at 3:38 PM on February 27, 2009

I wonder if any of the dancers in the video are still at it? Because those guys (in the link) I would totally go see.
posted by suki at 3:42 PM on February 27, 2009

I still don't get it. When I was growing up, the Chippendale dancers made me question my homosexuality. They might as well be made of plastic.

Of course, it wasn't til later that I found out what a bear was. And these days it's all about this dude. woof!
posted by troybob at 4:40 PM on February 27, 2009

No discussion of the various murders around the Chippendales then?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:08 PM on February 27, 2009

Wow, I didn't remember the murders although I'm sure I knew about them at the time. These videos were apparently shot *right* when that happened, right when they were about to go under. Huh. Kinda makes it even creepier.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:40 PM on February 27, 2009

So I worked at a hotel, doing check-ins, that kind of thing. We were part of a larger entity, so there were concerts, boxing matches, etc held there and the acts often stayed overnight. We often booked the Chippendales.

I don't know about the Chippendales back in the day (the ones in the video are a bit...ambiguous in their sexuality, to say the least), but the Chippendales of today? Sexing it up with the ladies. Multiple ladies, at that.

Also, did anyone else find the "what do you want? what do you want?" voice just a little bit creepy? Especially at the end, when the voice does *not* match MulletGuy's body.
posted by librarylis at 10:16 PM on February 27, 2009

I always wondered what happened to the Landers sisters. A little Wikipedia and IMDB reveals that they created the kids show, The Huggabug Club, with Audrey writing all the songs. Given how lucrative the kids video market can be, I think they've probably done quite well for themselves.
posted by jonp72 at 7:58 AM on February 28, 2009