... and an entire aquarium.

March 5, 2009 1:18 PM

High performance toilet demonstrations: St. Thomas Creations , Gerber, Gerber Gone Wild, American Standard, American Standard Champion 4, American Standard abusive flush testing
posted by swift (32 comments total)

Holy sh*t.
posted by jeffkramer at 1:29 PM on March 5, 2009

Yeah -- like who shits chess pieces?
posted by ericb at 1:35 PM on March 5, 2009

who shits chess pieces?

Some people have a real love for the game.
posted by Joe Beese at 1:39 PM on March 5, 2009

Dude, these are awesome. Our current toilet is completely insufficient in dealing with my epic post-oatmeal twosies. We need something that can swallow a whole Civil War Chess Set and still have room left for Risk, Mousetrap and a fistful of Carcassonne tiles.
posted by hifiparasol at 1:39 PM on March 5, 2009

Run Toto, run!
posted by cairnish at 1:40 PM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

like who shits chess pieces?

Garry Kasparaov, that's who. Well, he did after Putin's buddies got finished with him.
posted by jeffkramer at 1:41 PM on March 5, 2009

This post inspired me to confirm my recent belief that British toileters Armitage Shanks are owned by US johnmakers American Standard.
posted by infinitewindow at 1:42 PM on March 5, 2009

I'm so glad I'm not known as Lowell "The Bowl" Brown.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:44 PM on March 5, 2009

Armitage Shanks: British Toileter sounds like a killer procedural. You call the Beeb, I'll see if I can get Jim Broadbent's agent on the horn.
posted by hifiparasol at 1:44 PM on March 5, 2009

Herb Kohler is going to shit a brick when he sees this.
posted by greenskpr at 1:49 PM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

But, will it blend?
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:51 PM on March 5, 2009

I think this is a great demonstration of the poverty of realism. These somehow managed to be far more disgusting than watching actual shit being flushed down the toilet. All the dancing around with the frankfurters and the stressbuster tubes and the cubes of miso concentrate conveys a great deal more by suggestion and sensual metaphor than a flat old film of flushing toilets. Moreover, the metaphor contaminates the world it draws upon, a bit like that thing Foucault wrote about where the Victorians didn't talk literally about sex, and hence managed to make every single thing in their lives an expression of sexuality. I'm looking around at my desk now, and everything on it looks... flushable.
posted by Acheman at 1:53 PM on March 5, 2009 [11 favorites]

Damnation, I need a couple of these. Whatever mickey-mouse toilets got installed with this house can barely take a single square of toilet paper without clogging.

On another note, what happens when all of those items (golf balls, etc) get to the first bend in the waste line?
posted by jquinby at 1:58 PM on March 5, 2009

Okay, I clicked through a few youtube links and found this. Notice the motion-activated handwashing station. One day I hope I can go into a public bathroom and not touch anything, not any single thing (well maybe one thing.) Imagine: automatic doors, automatic toilet, automatic soap, sink and towel dispenser. The technology is there, all we need is some initiative.
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:59 PM on March 5, 2009

Christ, Acheman takes shit seriously.
posted by hifiparasol at 2:00 PM on March 5, 2009

I was going to bring up Julia Kristeva, but I thought better of it
posted by Acheman at 2:04 PM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Imagine: automatic doors, automatic toilet, automatic soap, sink and towel dispenser. The technology is there, all we need is some initiative.

Now if someone can just take a shit for me, I can get some serious work done.
posted by NationalKato at 2:29 PM on March 5, 2009

what happens when all of those items (golf balls, etc) get to the first bend in the waste line

RAGNAROK
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:29 PM on March 5, 2009 [3 favorites]

This is truly the BEST OF THE WEB!
posted by sfts2 at 2:34 PM on March 5, 2009

This was inspired by that "I clog toilets" AskMe, wasn't it?
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:37 PM on March 5, 2009

THAT GUY'S GOT POOP MISO ALL OVER HIS HANDS!
posted by jckll at 3:11 PM on March 5, 2009

that was strangely hypnotic.
posted by nam3d at 4:07 PM on March 5, 2009

"‘This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little babe can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed up Dundee cake, let's take a look...not a trace! Peace of mind I'm sure, especially if you have elderly relatives on board."

-- Alan Partridge
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 4:37 PM on March 5, 2009

Only 2 favorites? My next toilet post is going to have to be a doozy.
posted by swift at 5:31 PM on March 5, 2009

What you really need to watch after those video is this:
Hodding Carter and the TOTO Washlet: A Love Story
posted by beagle at 5:40 PM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

Very misleading. The ability to flush is highly dependant on the plumbing. In the Greek islands, they always want paper disposed in the bin provided, because the plumbing can't handle toilet paper.
posted by Goofyy at 8:51 PM on March 5, 2009

Heh. I had a friend whose house was on a steep hillside with a septic tank far down slope. He described this arrangement as "fault tolerant".
posted by ryanrs at 11:35 PM on March 5, 2009

i just watched that gerber toilet suck down seven pounds of mixed salad. my question is, who is ever going to have a load that big? i mean, is that really necessary? I'm afraid if I mercy flush while on the toilet, that thing would gut me!
posted by wayofthedodo at 11:51 PM on March 5, 2009 [1 favorite]

It has always surprised me that the USA, who typically like things bigger and better, are stuck with such puny toilets (and power systems). British and Australian toilets clog too, but it takes a three year old with a box full of toy plastic dinosaurs to do it (don't ask). We don't own a plunger, but since said three year old got to work, I now own a toilet snake, and my plumber has drain rooter which is a spectacularly named tool
posted by bystander at 4:28 AM on March 6, 2009

i mean, is that really necessary? I'm afraid if I mercy flush while on the toilet, that thing would gut me!

You'll need to break the seal to avoid vacuum damage prior to hitting the handle. And exhale slowly all the way up to avoid lung injury.
posted by jquinby at 7:16 AM on March 6, 2009

What amazes me more than these toilets is the, ahem, community of toilet fans.
Name: jonathan
Hometown: northwest indiana/chicago
Country: United States
Interests and Hobbies: toilets
Recent Activity gusherb94 became friends with toiletfanextreme (2 days ago)

The Toileteer
flushboyaz
Exploring and experimenting with older, cooler toilets.
Age: 32
I am someone who is a keen interest in toilets and what makes them work and why. Been fascinated by them since I was a little kid, and now, with cameras, the internet...I can pursue this interest to the max!
Country: United States
Interests and Hobbies: Toilet flushing!
Music: Toilets make music for my ears! I do listen to other stuff though!
posted by Monochrome at 7:31 AM on March 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'd hate to see what Scarabic could do with these.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:02 AM on March 8, 2009