The enlightenment was a reasonable time
March 16, 2009 10:08 PM Subscribe
The enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare wrote a book called Candy that got him into trouble with Frederick the Great. Philosophers were unknown yet, and the fundamental stake was one of religious toleration slightly confused with defeatism.
George W Bush slept here
posted by humannaire at 10:16 PM on March 16, 2009
posted by humannaire at 10:16 PM on March 16, 2009
If you liked that, you'll love this.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:16 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:16 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
History, a record of things left behind by past generations, started in 1815.
Richard Strauss, who was violent but methodical like his wife made him, plunged into vicious and perverse plays.
Attractive slogans like ”death to all Jews” were used by governmental groups.
posted by ornate insect at 10:19 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Richard Strauss, who was violent but methodical like his wife made him, plunged into vicious and perverse plays.
Attractive slogans like ”death to all Jews” were used by governmental groups.
posted by ornate insect at 10:19 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
When I did casual tutoring my favourite was:
"During the Great Migration, many African-Americans moved from the South to cities in the North, for many employment-related reasons, such as work, higher wages, and jobs".
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:22 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
"During the Great Migration, many African-Americans moved from the South to cities in the North, for many employment-related reasons, such as work, higher wages, and jobs".
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:22 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
This reminds me a little of BR Cohen's Annals of Science: "Let's review characters. Copernicus: dead. Tycho Brahe: dead (ooh, and Danish). Kepler: dead. Jesuits: everywhere. A Spanish anti-papal cabal: in the wings. Ptolemy: better to not bring that up. Mario Biagioli: good biographer. Maffeo Barberini: call him Pope Urban VIII. The Medicis: in charge. Memento mori: I forget why this is in my notes. Roberto Benigni: unrelated but hilarious. "
posted by The White Hat at 10:26 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by The White Hat at 10:26 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
"Mideval people were violent. Murder during this period was nothing. Everybody killed someone."
Brilliant.
posted by inoculatedcities at 10:29 PM on March 16, 2009
Brilliant.
posted by inoculatedcities at 10:29 PM on March 16, 2009
My last year in graduate school I was a TA. Every week the only joy of reading HIS 101 papers was discovering precisely how little our children is learning.
Did you know that the Conquistadors were Spanish people from the Aztecs?
Or that the US won WWII because we managed to destroy all the Japanese nukes before the Japanese used them?
Or that it's okay not to include citations if you have lost your book and can't find it, as long as you remember most of the material from your ninth grade history class?
How about Britain helped England by lending its navy to defeat Dutch negative humanism?
I actually saved a number of their papers because the writing is so incoherent reading them is like getting drunk without having to spend money.
posted by winna at 10:31 PM on March 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
Did you know that the Conquistadors were Spanish people from the Aztecs?
Or that the US won WWII because we managed to destroy all the Japanese nukes before the Japanese used them?
Or that it's okay not to include citations if you have lost your book and can't find it, as long as you remember most of the material from your ninth grade history class?
How about Britain helped England by lending its navy to defeat Dutch negative humanism?
I actually saved a number of their papers because the writing is so incoherent reading them is like getting drunk without having to spend money.
posted by winna at 10:31 PM on March 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
People, if you haven't yet you should read Candide as soon as you can. I read it back when I was studying the Enlightenment at University and it's an awesome book. It's one of only two books that I have read in one sitting, cover to cover (the other being Of Mice & Men).
posted by Effigy2000 at 10:31 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Effigy2000 at 10:31 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
mmmmmmmmmm garden of Candy
posted by doobiedoo at 10:39 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by doobiedoo at 10:39 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
At war people get killed, and then they aren’t people any more, but friends.
This changes everything.
posted by mindless progress at 10:49 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
This changes everything.
posted by mindless progress at 10:49 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
The Popes, of course, were usually Catholic
posted by paisley henosis at 10:54 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by paisley henosis at 10:54 PM on March 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
At least it's reviewed-peer.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:03 PM on March 16, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:03 PM on March 16, 2009
In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular.
In 1401, the bed was invented, and finally the English were freed from their horse-like perpendicular stupor!
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:22 PM on March 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
In 1401, the bed was invented, and finally the English were freed from their horse-like perpendicular stupor!
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:22 PM on March 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
intercourse and other etceteras
posted by the_bone at 11:23 PM on March 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by the_bone at 11:23 PM on March 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
My partner TA'd/lectured at UCLA, and just said "Oh my god, this is the type of shit I'd get from undergrads all the time."
posted by the_bone at 11:30 PM on March 16, 2009
posted by the_bone at 11:30 PM on March 16, 2009
I'm grading midterm exams (undergrad philosophy) as we "speak" and -- whoo boy -- are these accurate. Thanks? (No, really, I enjoyed this. Must be an intellectual masochist.)
posted by joe lisboa at 11:34 PM on March 16, 2009
posted by joe lisboa at 11:34 PM on March 16, 2009
The Popes, of course, were usually Catholic
That's not as silly as it sounds...
posted by rodgerd at 12:23 AM on March 17, 2009
That's not as silly as it sounds...
posted by rodgerd at 12:23 AM on March 17, 2009
At war people get killed, and then they aren’t people any more, but friends.
That's poetry.
posted by creasy boy at 12:31 AM on March 17, 2009
That's poetry.
posted by creasy boy at 12:31 AM on March 17, 2009
As is this:
Napoleon was ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.
posted by creasy boy at 12:32 AM on March 17, 2009
Napoleon was ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained.
posted by creasy boy at 12:32 AM on March 17, 2009
Yeah, that's about right. One day I'll compile one of these out of the philosophy papers I get to read every semester.
posted by strixus at 1:40 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by strixus at 1:40 AM on March 17, 2009
yeah, give me a couple more years and I'll be able to do the same with music papers. I can already fill pages and pages with "music is the universal language" banalities and "this music is superior because it's sophisticated and/or because it's associated with underprivileged people" specious reasoning. But I need more blatantly wrong music analyses and then I'll publish the music version of this, fer sure.
posted by LMGM at 1:58 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by LMGM at 1:58 AM on March 17, 2009
All you teases, start sharing.
posted by dirty lies at 3:56 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by dirty lies at 3:56 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow, a version of this was circulating when I was in grad school in the mid-80s; I'm glad to see Henriksson is still compiling it!
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:06 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by FelliniBlank at 4:06 AM on March 17, 2009
A huge anti-semantic movement arose.
It's the international linguist conspiracy again!
I am disappointed that there are no mentions of Good Things.
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:16 AM on March 17, 2009
It's the international linguist conspiracy again!
I am disappointed that there are no mentions of Good Things.
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:16 AM on March 17, 2009
Somewhere out there has to be a blog full of stuff like this submitted by tormented professors and TAs. There must be. Please help me find it.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:19 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by louche mustachio at 4:19 AM on March 17, 2009
I do recall that once I was grading a classmate's test, and saw that he had defined "the Antebellum period" as "part of an ant's brain."
I think I marked it as "X, but hilarious."
posted by louche mustachio at 4:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think I marked it as "X, but hilarious."
posted by louche mustachio at 4:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
The Popes, of course, were usually Catholic
Yeah, but does he shit in the woods?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:16 AM on March 17, 2009
Yeah, but does he shit in the woods?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:16 AM on March 17, 2009
Dropping science like when Galileo dropped his orange.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:30 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:30 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I do hope this is all genuine; in spots it is quite inspired:
The Middle Ages slimpared to a halt.
The renasence bolted in from the blue.
Life reeked with joy.
posted by kitfreeman at 5:48 AM on March 17, 2009
The Middle Ages slimpared to a halt.
The renasence bolted in from the blue.
Life reeked with joy.
posted by kitfreeman at 5:48 AM on March 17, 2009
Yeah, that's about right. One day I'll compile one of these out of the philosophy papers I get to read every semester.
"Distributive justice is about the distribution of justice between society."
posted by voltairemodern at 5:51 AM on March 17, 2009
"Distributive justice is about the distribution of justice between society."
posted by voltairemodern at 5:51 AM on March 17, 2009
In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular
That was because of our stiff upper lip.
posted by MuffinMan at 5:58 AM on March 17, 2009
That was because of our stiff upper lip.
posted by MuffinMan at 5:58 AM on March 17, 2009
History, as we know, is always bias, because human beings have to be studied by other human beings, not by independent observers of another species.
I find this intriguing. Who is to say that we can't force pencils into the hands of raccoons? I, for one, would like to see The History of Mankind, as dictated by Mr. Grey Squirrel, or perhaps a Bayeux Tapestry-type project woven by ferrets. Our problem is that we are too proud to figure out what all the other species think of us.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:08 AM on March 17, 2009 [8 favorites]
I find this intriguing. Who is to say that we can't force pencils into the hands of raccoons? I, for one, would like to see The History of Mankind, as dictated by Mr. Grey Squirrel, or perhaps a Bayeux Tapestry-type project woven by ferrets. Our problem is that we are too proud to figure out what all the other species think of us.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:08 AM on March 17, 2009 [8 favorites]
Henriksson's Non Campus Mentis came out in 2001. I'm on my 3rd tattered copy and I still LOL even after 8 years of repeat reads. Probably reveals too much about my sense of humor, but this shit just tickles me sumthin' crazy!
posted by njbradburn at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by njbradburn at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2009
Now ponder this: these are the ones that actually went to college.
posted by briank at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by briank at 6:09 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
Culture fomented from Europe’s tip to its top.
Awwwww. I want to find whoever wrote that and just tousle their hair.
posted by Spatch at 6:13 AM on March 17, 2009
Awwwww. I want to find whoever wrote that and just tousle their hair.
posted by Spatch at 6:13 AM on March 17, 2009
History, a record of things left behind by past generations, started in 1815.
The writer of the term paper from which this was taken had to be either Gertrude Stein or Ben Marcus; it's too brilliant and weird otherwise.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:17 AM on March 17, 2009
The writer of the term paper from which this was taken had to be either Gertrude Stein or Ben Marcus; it's too brilliant and weird otherwise.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:17 AM on March 17, 2009
This is stupid. You can make anything look bad if you take it out of context.
posted by mph at 6:19 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by mph at 6:19 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
All you teases, start sharing.
Okay.
“Observation: something observed by an observer. It must be observed by an observer to be an observation”
“Democracy: The Athenians developed a democracy. At first they weren't sure how it work and it was somewhat chaotic.”
“I am inclined to reject this statement because it was said by Aristotle, who was famous in philosophy for rejecting the truth.”
“People have the ability to discover their uniqueness such as the fact that they are gay or have a desire to become a congressman.”
“If a 5 year old contracted rabies it would not take long to kill him.” (My response: “Whereas with most 5 year olds, you really have to set a couple days aside to kill them.”)
posted by el_lupino at 6:20 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
Okay.
“Observation: something observed by an observer. It must be observed by an observer to be an observation”
“Democracy: The Athenians developed a democracy. At first they weren't sure how it work and it was somewhat chaotic.”
“I am inclined to reject this statement because it was said by Aristotle, who was famous in philosophy for rejecting the truth.”
“People have the ability to discover their uniqueness such as the fact that they are gay or have a desire to become a congressman.”
“If a 5 year old contracted rabies it would not take long to kill him.” (My response: “Whereas with most 5 year olds, you really have to set a couple days aside to kill them.”)
posted by el_lupino at 6:20 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
i lost it at this one :
An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically,
i read that comma as a period and couldn't stop laughing.
but this is all sorts of awesome :
Among the goals of the chartists were universal suferage and an anal parliment. Voting was done by ballad.
we should be voting by ballad, goddamn!
posted by liza at 6:25 AM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically,
i read that comma as a period and couldn't stop laughing.
but this is all sorts of awesome :
Among the goals of the chartists were universal suferage and an anal parliment. Voting was done by ballad.
we should be voting by ballad, goddamn!
posted by liza at 6:25 AM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
This is the type of stuff I get every day on labs and tests. I really frustrates me some days, but I'm getting better at not letting it effect me as much. I can handle that their answers are occasionally ridiculously stupid and wrong, but typically these are also the students who decide to try to argue in defense of their answer. You can probably imagine that coming up with a verbal argument on the fly, when they couldn't formulate two logical or even just sensible sentences over the period of a week, doesn't usually work so well.
As briank says, these are the ones who actually got into college. And sadly, a lot of the people who take these intro geology classes thinking it will be their easiest science credit (hint: it's usually not) and end up giving us answers like the ones in the link are education majors. It makes me sincerely consider homeschooling my possible future-kids.
As it is though, with this sort of distance from the subject, I really like how some of these answers verge on a sort of zen.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:26 AM on March 17, 2009
As briank says, these are the ones who actually got into college. And sadly, a lot of the people who take these intro geology classes thinking it will be their easiest science credit (hint: it's usually not) and end up giving us answers like the ones in the link are education majors. It makes me sincerely consider homeschooling my possible future-kids.
As it is though, with this sort of distance from the subject, I really like how some of these answers verge on a sort of zen.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:26 AM on March 17, 2009
An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door.*
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (etc.)
The German Emperor’s lower passage was blocked by the French for years and years.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
*At least he didn't nail 95 feces to the door.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:26 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (etc.)
The German Emperor’s lower passage was blocked by the French for years and years.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
*At least he didn't nail 95 feces to the door.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:26 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Wow, a version of this was circulating when I was in grad school in the mid-80s; I'm glad to see Henriksson is still compiling it!
This is that version; see the note at the bottom: Reprinted from Spring 1983 Wilson Quarterly. Still funny after all these years, although I sometimes get a little squick of annoyance at the glee with which these things get passed around. I'm sure you could put together just as snarky a collection of absurd bon mots coming from the folks standing at the front of the class.
posted by mediareport at 6:33 AM on March 17, 2009
This is that version; see the note at the bottom: Reprinted from Spring 1983 Wilson Quarterly. Still funny after all these years, although I sometimes get a little squick of annoyance at the glee with which these things get passed around. I'm sure you could put together just as snarky a collection of absurd bon mots coming from the folks standing at the front of the class.
posted by mediareport at 6:33 AM on March 17, 2009
the new Germany: loud, bold, vulgar and full of reality.
I see this as a catchy new ad campaign for beer.
Hitler remilitarized the Rineland over a squirmish between Germany and France.
And thus a new word is born; I am totally using "squirmish" the next time I write a short story about a conscientious objector who can't stop wiggling.
Moosealini
Sarah Palin's favorite pasta dish as told to TV Guide!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:42 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I see this as a catchy new ad campaign for beer.
Hitler remilitarized the Rineland over a squirmish between Germany and France.
And thus a new word is born; I am totally using "squirmish" the next time I write a short story about a conscientious objector who can't stop wiggling.
Moosealini
Sarah Palin's favorite pasta dish as told to TV Guide!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:42 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
> Victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks.
This was the point where I visualized the professor putting down his marking pencil, sighing heavily, pouring himself a drink from a bottle hidden in his desk, walking over to a window and absentmindedly staring out at the campus in silence.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:12 AM on March 17, 2009 [14 favorites]
This was the point where I visualized the professor putting down his marking pencil, sighing heavily, pouring himself a drink from a bottle hidden in his desk, walking over to a window and absentmindedly staring out at the campus in silence.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:12 AM on March 17, 2009 [14 favorites]
The old order could see the lid holding down new ideas beginning to shake.
It's hilarious, but I also find this to be moderately insightful.
posted by kingbenny at 7:12 AM on March 17, 2009
It's hilarious, but I also find this to be moderately insightful.
posted by kingbenny at 7:12 AM on March 17, 2009
Just wait until The Twitter Generation hits college; "You mean my essay has to be longer than 140 characters?"
posted by you just lost the game at 7:21 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by you just lost the game at 7:21 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
"A class of yeowls arose."
There is a majesty, an ineffable grandeur, to this.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:31 AM on March 17, 2009
There is a majesty, an ineffable grandeur, to this.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:31 AM on March 17, 2009
This is that version; see the note at the bottom: Reprinted from Spring 1983 Wilson Quarterly. Still funny after all these years...
You know what this means? We can't blame the Internet or SMS for this! My god! What are we to do?!
posted by Spatch at 7:37 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
You know what this means? We can't blame the Internet or SMS for this! My god! What are we to do?!
posted by Spatch at 7:37 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
George W. Bush was a history major at Yale, was he not?
Hmmm....
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 7:44 AM on March 17, 2009
Hmmm....
posted by Stonewall Jackson at 7:44 AM on March 17, 2009
"Ruthlessly trenchant fellow, wordy pedagogue, meddlesome theorist, you seek the limits of your mind. They are at the end of your nose." -- Voltaire, Philosophical Dictionary [1764]
posted by blucevalo at 8:12 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by blucevalo at 8:12 AM on March 17, 2009
I have not taught in almost 20 years now, but I will never forget the student who informed me that Moby Dick was an intellectual tour de france.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:16 AM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:16 AM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
such as the fact that they are gay or have a desire to become a congressman
Oftentimes both.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Oftentimes both.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:22 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is that version; see the note at the bottom: Reprinted from Spring 1983 Wilson Quarterly.
Actually, the one I saw long ago must have been a condensed version reprinted in Reader's Digest or someplace because it excluded about a quarter of this material.
My favorite Lazy Use of Spellcheck error:
"Then they tried to get a loan at the bank to save their farm, but it was turned down because they didn't have enough clitoral."
Also:
"Since that night, we've gone back to The Junction for dinner many times, and I've never felt a stranger there."
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Actually, the one I saw long ago must have been a condensed version reprinted in Reader's Digest or someplace because it excluded about a quarter of this material.
My favorite Lazy Use of Spellcheck error:
"Then they tried to get a loan at the bank to save their farm, but it was turned down because they didn't have enough clitoral."
Also:
"Since that night, we've gone back to The Junction for dinner many times, and I've never felt a stranger there."
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
"The old order could see the lid holding down new ideas beginning to shake."
It's hilarious, but I also find this to be moderately insightful.
I'd be willing to bet it's a slightly re-arranged and re-worded sentence lifted straight out of a text book. I did this sort of thing all the time on high school essays, and I was never once called on it.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:46 AM on March 17, 2009
It's hilarious, but I also find this to be moderately insightful.
I'd be willing to bet it's a slightly re-arranged and re-worded sentence lifted straight out of a text book. I did this sort of thing all the time on high school essays, and I was never once called on it.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:46 AM on March 17, 2009
Did my aunt forward this to you?
posted by klangklangston at 8:53 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by klangklangston at 8:53 AM on March 17, 2009
Anal parliament would be a good name for my punk band.
posted by Rangeboy at 9:25 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Rangeboy at 9:25 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
My favorite Lazy Use of Spellcheck
For my first job, the HR manager was an attractive Scandinavian lady called Annalise Eklund.
Somewhat new to the wonders of spellcheck at the time, I must have clicked something or other because she received an otherwise impeccable acceptance letter which started, "Dear Ms Elkhound."
posted by MuffinMan at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2009
For my first job, the HR manager was an attractive Scandinavian lady called Annalise Eklund.
Somewhat new to the wonders of spellcheck at the time, I must have clicked something or other because she received an otherwise impeccable acceptance letter which started, "Dear Ms Elkhound."
posted by MuffinMan at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2009
I remember a similar compilation from the answers on nurses' exams many years ago. The only ones I can remember: The patient suffered from a weekend bladder. The surgery was assisted with clamps and tongues.
posted by binturong at 9:44 AM on March 17, 2009
posted by binturong at 9:44 AM on March 17, 2009
When I did casual tutoring my favourite was:
"During the Great Migration, many African-Americans moved from the South to cities in the North, for many employment-related reasons, such as work, higher wages, and jobs".
Not so absurd, really, since Michael Steele informed us that work is not the same as a job. This student was just ahead of the Republican curve!
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:45 AM on March 17, 2009
"During the Great Migration, many African-Americans moved from the South to cities in the North, for many employment-related reasons, such as work, higher wages, and jobs".
Not so absurd, really, since Michael Steele informed us that work is not the same as a job. This student was just ahead of the Republican curve!
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:45 AM on March 17, 2009
"Problems were so complexicated that in Paris, out of a city population of one million people, two million able bodies were on the loose."
I love, love, LOVE the word "complexicated."
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:59 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I love, love, LOVE the word "complexicated."
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:59 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I remember a similar thing circulating back when I was in college. This compilation left out my personal favorite, "Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe in a 100-foot clipper."
posted by ambrosia at 10:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ambrosia at 10:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Sigh. I have a huge stack of midterms in front of me that I need to grade. Maybe I'll emerge with some choice quotes.
My favorite is one that a friend of mine got in an ethics paper: "Evil is only a verb."
posted by painquale at 11:23 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
My favorite is one that a friend of mine got in an ethics paper: "Evil is only a verb."
posted by painquale at 11:23 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
"According to Fromm, individuation began historically in medieval times. This was a period of small childhood. There is increasing experience as adolescence experiences its life development. The last stage is us."
Indeed.
posted by homunculus at 11:52 AM on March 17, 2009
Indeed.
posted by homunculus at 11:52 AM on March 17, 2009
"Finally, Europe caught the Black Death."
Ye Gad, yes, and it was about time they did too.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:18 PM on March 17, 2009
Ye Gad, yes, and it was about time they did too.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:18 PM on March 17, 2009
As a former teacher, allow me to share the worst opening sentence I ever personally saw: "During the stressful period of the Holocaust, the Jews underwent much suffrage during their concentration." Even more than ten years later I can still quote it from memory.
posted by beingdaddy at 9:42 PM on March 17, 2009
posted by beingdaddy at 9:42 PM on March 17, 2009
This long-haired hippy dude named Frank Airwet wrote Candy and got in trouble with Freddy the Great. Dudes, I am so acing this essay.
posted by JJ86 at 7:28 AM on March 18, 2009
posted by JJ86 at 7:28 AM on March 18, 2009
"Evil is only a verb."
007's new adventure, coming to a theatre near you.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:54 PM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
007's new adventure, coming to a theatre near you.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:54 PM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
« Older Dear valued customer | Do you ever dream of monsters? Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Oh, if this could have gone on forever I would never sleep.
posted by cjorgensen at 10:13 PM on March 16, 2009 [1 favorite]