March Madness
March 17, 2009 11:30 AM   Subscribe

Ladies and Gentlemen, your official 2009 Bracket. Previously.
posted by wayofthedodo (33 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Landocalrissan Butler didn't make the cut... that's a tragedy right there...
posted by inthe80s at 11:35 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

The logo looks too much like a tombstone to me. Perhaps they could spruce it up with some color, or I'll worry this is about dead baby names, and start re-telling myself dead baby jokes. And given the date, I'll end up taking shots of Jamison, reciting the names of the lost souls.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:47 AM on March 17, 2009

Nemesis Vega loses to Nutritious Love in the tenth round to become the 2009 NOTY Champeen.
posted by The White Hat at 11:59 AM on March 17, 2009

I call foul due the shamefully low #6 seeding of Muffin Lord. The bracketology process needs some serious transparency improvements if there is to be any justice in the world.
posted by seppyk at 12:05 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Nemesis Vega falls in the first round to Crystal Metheny. Muffin Lord gives Taco Vandervelde a run for his #1 seed money for entry to the final four. I still haven't decided who wins that region.

My co-workers and I have agreed that you must write out every name in its entirety for your ballot to be legal.
posted by Plutor at 12:07 PM on March 17, 2009

Man, Adolph Hitler and White Power Campbell just can't catch a break anywhere these days!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:09 PM on March 17, 2009

Y'all are outta your minds. DeMarvelous Carter comes from way out in the middle ranks of the Sithole Regional to defeat de field with delicious deskill. Either that, or he loses hard in the second round to Nutritious Love and turns up as a minor character in a middle chapter of Pynchon's next novel. He's a winner either way.
posted by gompa at 12:14 PM on March 17, 2009

Finished my bracket. #16 Willie Wham upsets #1 Rev. Valentine Handwerker in the first round, and goes on to fall in a close fifth-round matchup against Bulltron regional champion Taco Vandervelde. (Who then loses in a very dull championship game to Telephone Mtoko.)
posted by Plutor at 12:32 PM on March 17, 2009

my Cinderella pick? Chew Kok, seeded 13th in the Bulltron regional. Sweet 16, guaranteed.
posted by xbonesgt at 12:36 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

If that's not enough naming madness for you, you can always head over to the 2008 Baby Name Pool at the Baby Name Wizard.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:37 PM on March 17, 2009

Cash Flagg. Anything else is just an imitation.
posted by crapmatic at 12:41 PM on March 17, 2009

And all of these people will be Banned from facebook
posted by delmoi at 12:49 PM on March 17, 2009

Nutritious Love in the Sithole regional just delights me.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 12:55 PM on March 17, 2009

....Can you nominate people from the past? Because I am something like the 10th-great-niece of someone named "Freelove Bartholomew."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:58 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

No Plaxico Burress? WTF?
posted by ph00dz at 1:07 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

No, no, no, it's spelled Raymond Luxury Yacht, but it's pronounced Throat Warbler Mangrove.
posted by jbickers at 1:36 PM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

EmpressCallipygos, that's yer sockpuppet name right there.
posted by ocherdraco at 1:53 PM on March 17, 2009

Cherish Frankenstein. Cherish him!
posted by Skot at 2:06 PM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

I got the Chastity Clapp once. Embarrassing on two levels.

Cinderella pick is Infinite McCloud. At least to the quarters.
posted by Lemurrhea at 2:24 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

My Cinderella pick is Moonlit Wang in the otherwise lackluster Chrotchtangle Regional. I can see Wang going to the Final Four.

The Bulltron Regional looks to be the strongest, with a slugfest between Taco Vandervelde and Muffin Lord.
posted by oozy rat in a sanitary zoo at 2:29 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I too am thinking Moonlit Wang is gonna surprise us. But it's Muffin Lord FTW.

And all of these people will be Banned from facebook

I was surprised when they allowed me to change my name to "Thou Dreamest". Must not have their bots programmed for archaisms.
posted by flotson at 2:38 PM on March 17, 2009

My final four is Muffin Lord vs. Barge Upender and Nutritious Love vs. Moonlit Wang. Muffin Lord beats Barge Updender (who just squeaked by Uranus Golden in the semis), Moonlit Wang beats Nutritious Love and then goes on to best the Muffin Lord to take home the prize.

What is the prize, anyway?
posted by vibrotronica at 3:17 PM on March 17, 2009

Didn't Calamity McEntire wed Indiana Jones in one of the books? Or was she Doc Savage's niece's sister?
posted by eclectist at 3:36 PM on March 17, 2009

vibrotronica: "What is the prize, anyway?"

A brand new name!

(Behind the scenes: I was trying to come up with a name that was common sounding, but wasn't "John Smith", but all my whiskey-addled brain can come up with right now is "Ricardo Montalban". Somehow that didn't seem appropriate.)
posted by Plutor at 4:37 PM on March 17, 2009

I'd keep my eye on Katie Cumalat, #13 in the DragonWagon Regional. I think that name could make some noise.
posted by never used baby shoes at 5:12 PM on March 17, 2009

Next year promises to present stiffer competition. They're letting in all of Hodgman's hobos.
posted by The White Hat at 5:55 PM on March 17, 2009

More March Madness, only fugly-fashion-wise. If hysterically acid sniping at Hollywood fashion idiocies amuses you—and it does me—this is a must-go site for you.
posted by ancientgower at 6:18 PM on March 17, 2009

I went to elementary school with a girl named Buffy Swallows; she used to do, like, baton-twirling and other child pageant-y things at school talent shows. I tried to search for her on Google, but, um, other stuff comes up instead.
posted by the_bone at 10:48 PM on March 17, 2009

Sadly, after years working in the immigration business, I am desensitized to funny names. Really, just how many Kok Phuk's can you snicker at? Now I seem to get my jollies not from accidental innuendo or the easy and cheap laughs of a bod part or function name (particularly from a mispronounciation). No, now I prefer to punny and the truly bizarre. That's why I am rooting for Cherish Frankenstein and Ed Jew, god belss you.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:46 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Apparently I've also become desensitized to proofreading. Coffee?
posted by Pollomacho at 4:48 AM on March 18, 2009

Scandalous: Muffin Lord's given name is not "Muffin"!
posted by Plutor at 12:45 PM on March 18, 2009

Pollomacho: "Really, just how many Kok Phuk's can you snicker at?"

This is the same thing I thought through Glorious Johnson and Chew Kok. Come on, what is this, 6th grade? Then I got to Moonlit Wang. It's just.. so.. magnificent.
posted by Plutor at 12:47 PM on March 18, 2009

EmpressCallipygos, that's ["Freelove Bartholomew] yer sockpuppet name right there.
posted by ocherdraco at 1:53 PM on March 17

:-) What's even more amusing about it is that Freelove lived in Massachusetts during the colonial era, when it was common to give your kids names of certain personality qualities you wanted them to emulate, like "Patience" or "Mercy" or what have you.

And here's someone named "Freelove." It makes one wonder.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:53 PM on March 23, 2009

« Older Tour of the Loopwheeler factory   |   This should suffice to drive the snakes out Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments