He'll have to scrub it off when he gets back...

March 25, 2009 1:40 PM

60-foot penis painted on roof Sorry. I tried to resist posting this, I really did. But you don't see that headline every day. And then I discovered it was not the first. And then I stopped laughing when I read what this "Christian" blogger thought about it. Then I read the subsequent comments and also this page and felt better again. And as a headline it beats all of these.
posted by magpie68 (69 comments total)

I liked this headline in the header of the second link:

John Mayer Dumps Jennifer Aniston To Write The Great American Tweet

Sadly, I already knew what they were talking about.
posted by delmoi at 1:43 PM on March 25, 2009

"Twiddle rompus worshipper"?
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:43 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

That looks pretty hard.
posted by swift at 1:44 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

So immature.....thanks.


"sugar plummed with anal sin" - lol
posted by plaidhatter at 1:44 PM on March 25, 2009

The "christian" blog is definitely parody.
posted by moxiedoll at 1:46 PM on March 25, 2009 [4 favorites]

That ChristWire link...that site is a joke, right? Ultra-Conservative Christians walk the tightrope of lunacy so often, I can never tell if sites like that are a hilarious spoof or a terrifying reality.
posted by ekstasis23 at 1:46 PM on March 25, 2009 [5 favorites]

you don't see that headline every day.

I could now, if I wanted to. Favorites, or even plain old bookmarks, you know.
posted by owtytrof at 1:48 PM on March 25, 2009

"Twiddle rompus worshipper"?

Wasn't that a character in the Lorax?
posted by jonp72 at 1:48 PM on March 25, 2009

I think he started out just drawing a two-button mouse. But when he realized he had all that room he said "fuck it" and turned it into cock.
posted by mullacc at 1:50 PM on March 25, 2009

Maybe the teen was showing some English cultural pride for the Rude Man of Cerne.
posted by jonp72 at 1:51 PM on March 25, 2009

moxiedoll: "The "christian" blog is definitely parody."

Yeah, it's a gag.

For authentic Christopublicanism, there's RenewAmerica.
posted by Joe Beese at 1:51 PM on March 25, 2009

Looks like someone is trying to compensate for something.
posted by sour cream at 1:53 PM on March 25, 2009

Metafilter: sugar plummed with anal sin.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:53 PM on March 25, 2009 [6 favorites]

Major props, on the same level as this kid and his awesome fucking sunglasses.
posted by autodidact at 1:54 PM on March 25, 2009 [6 favorites]

Should we use some kind of protection when commenting on this story after Fark, Reddit and Digg have had their grubby hands all over it?

No matter how hard I scrub, it won't come off.
posted by JaredSeth at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2009

From the Anorak site comments: "Men have been drawing pictures of huge cocks throughout history long before gaying was invented by the Greeks in the second century BC". What do you know, every day's a school day.

Also, @mullacc, I've never looked at it that way before before but yes, it does look like a 2-button mouse. But I can't say the same about the kid's roof painting.
posted by magpie68 at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2009

"Here is a prime example of home homosexuals have no respect for anything that isn’t sugar plummed with anal sin. "

WTF? you make homosexuality sound like a pastry.

..... delicious cupcake sugar-plumed with anal sin. What? Do you want a bite?

'sugar plumed with anal sin'. oh god im laughing so hard it hurts.
posted by 5imian at 1:55 PM on March 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm going to go waaaaaay out on a link and say that any site that posts "Marvel Now Promotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy" is probably this year's Landover Baptist Church, although I'll grant you that it can be damned hard to tell sometimes, and I really kinda hope that someday a real fundie site will get served a "find sexy gay singles in your area!" Google banner ad.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my bunk reading "Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate?"
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:58 PM on March 25, 2009

penis on roof
posted by kliuless at 2:00 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I was going to say the vandal had a pretty big pair, but if we are to assume the drawing is to scale I think he's suffering from really small testicles. From the Christian blogger comments: "The worst thing I can say about this young homosexual is that he draws a poor penis."

And I don't think a 100 foot penis is the way to gain acceptance. Well, at least it hasn't worked for me yet.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:01 PM on March 25, 2009

"Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate?"

Error establishing a database connection
posted by cjorgensen at 2:02 PM on March 25, 2009

And I don't think a 100 foot penis is the way to gain acceptance.

You attended the wrong schools, obviously.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:04 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

In Seattle, there was some grumbling when a local man put up a Betty Page mural, with a carefully located gutter line, since it's only 40 yards from I-5.
posted by nomisxid at 2:05 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Protip for first date: Try to work in the phrase, sugar plummed with anal sin.
posted by found missing at 2:13 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

From the "Christian" blogger link:

I wish stoning was still legal, because I would love it if his parents tied his anus loving mouth to a stake and throw stones at his sin filled body until he stopped breathing. Then he could join Satan in hell!

I'm really glad to see Christ's message on loving thy neighbor was received loud and clear by this guy.

Also, how the hell do you tie someone's mouth to a stake?

As to penii on roofs? Just think of them like the Nazca lines in Peru. Both a celebration of the male reproductive organ, and a landing strip for penis loving aliens from the stars. That much should be obvious to anyone.
posted by quin at 2:15 PM on March 25, 2009

This is just like that X-Files episode where they're investigating the new breed of penis-shaped crop circles, and Mulder eventually solves it with his theory that they are really landing runways for a race of intergalactic pranksters who fly around in U.F.O.s shaped like hands.
posted by mannequito at 2:20 PM on March 25, 2009

And I don't think a 100 foot penis is the way to gain acceptance.

Typical. You say 100 feet, but we all know it's really 60.
posted by owtytrof at 2:23 PM on March 25, 2009 [4 favorites]

For Christian parody humor, no one does it better than the fine, upstanding folks at Landover Baptist:

"Jewish Actor, Billy Crystal, Stars as Talking Testicle in New Disney Film"

Cast Away: A Life Without Jesus and Toilet Paper

"The Bible Doesn't Mention Any "Ice Age," So Shut Up About It!"

Christian Children: Report Your Unsaved Parents to the Federal Government!

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles?"

VEGANS: Modern Day Witches!"

Etc., etc.
posted by zarq at 2:35 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

The best bit was what the guy said to his Dad over the phone when it came to light: "Oh, you found it then!"

That quote and the surprised tone resonates well with all parents.

~Matt

p.s. Ignore that mean-spirited blogger, he smells like a troll to me.
posted by mdoar at 2:39 PM on March 25, 2009

I like nomisxid's link because of its mention of Mormons using the back door.
posted by Pronoiac at 2:42 PM on March 25, 2009

A bit is sort of like a really short stake, no? Kinky!
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:46 PM on March 25, 2009

sugar plummed with anal sin.

Mmm, anal sugar plums.
posted by rodgerd at 2:47 PM on March 25, 2009

So has anyone located this on Google Maps?
posted by mazola at 2:53 PM on March 25, 2009

that's what she said
posted by found missing at 3:01 PM on March 25, 2009

"Still praying to decide who needs boycotting. Check back soon."

That's the good stuff.
posted by greekphilosophy at 3:04 PM on March 25, 2009

mazola, yes, these guys found it here - photo before the dick though.
posted by magpie68 at 3:09 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sorry, here: http://tinyurl.com/cnvrts
posted by magpie68 at 3:18 PM on March 25, 2009

The list of headlines is good (it has "British Left Waffles on Falklands", which is the single best headline of all time), but it's missing some famous howlers. Where is "Milk Drinkers Turn To Powder"? Where is "Caribbean Islands Drift To Left"? Kids today.
posted by The Bellman at 3:31 PM on March 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

There's no fuckin' way Jonah Takalua is 18.
posted by gman at 3:31 PM on March 25, 2009

Taking a weak post and padding it with lolChristian outrage doesn't really make it worth posting. That's just way too easy to do.
posted by klarck at 3:49 PM on March 25, 2009

If "Sugar Plummed with Anal Sin" isn't about the greatest band/album name ever, why...I give up.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:57 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I love the banners on the Christwire blog from Google AdSense, which is clearly a vehicle of the gay agenda:

http://tinyurl.com/cv9be9
http://tinyurl.com/c54ak3
posted by bergeycm at 4:12 PM on March 25, 2009

I was in Anal Sin, and I remember when we opened for Sugar Plummed!
posted by steef at 4:30 PM on March 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

yup, totally not the first.
posted by bluesky43 at 4:30 PM on March 25, 2009

The Bellman, did you read that J. Leno book? My favorite was "Chit'lins Truck Spills its Load in Climax".

Magpie68, the Metatalk thread was about looking for a picture of a huge dog, not dong.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:34 PM on March 25, 2009

Oh please oh please stop...I went to the last link and am laughing so hard it hurts and i am getting tears on my keyboard

ah...kind of coming down...

yeah I saw that first link...though it would not have occurred to me to post it on MeFi, there is definitely more to that story. Why draw the line in the middle of the glans? I mean, come on, he's 18, draw a better penis...and draw some squirties too just in case someone doesnt get it
posted by Xoebe at 5:41 PM on March 25, 2009

The Christwire article is written by Tyson Bowers III. Could he be related to Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian?
posted by zinfandel at 6:00 PM on March 25, 2009

that last page was worth the whole damn FPP.
posted by liza at 6:56 PM on March 25, 2009

If anyone else wanted to read the comic kliuless linked, it's here in video form
(because I really wanted to read the whole thing but wayback machine was being a douche)
posted by rubah at 7:51 PM on March 25, 2009

Ranger Rick had a ten foot dick/
he showed it to his girlfriend/
she thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake/
and now it's only four-foot-ten
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:03 PM on March 25, 2009

Wait, you people seriously think the "Christian blogger" link wasn't parody? Wow. You'd think this was the atheism reddit.
posted by nasreddin at 8:47 PM on March 25, 2009

I still like an oldie: "Reagan Says Blacks Are Doing Better; Dems Disagree".
posted by Topkid at 8:51 PM on March 25, 2009

heh .. penis ...
posted by EatTheWeek at 9:03 PM on March 25, 2009

Typical. You say 100 feet, but we all know it's really 60.

That still sounds better than 18 meters.
posted by TedW at 9:27 PM on March 25, 2009

So has anyone located this on Google Maps?

Not there, but try Wikimapia for a sort of meta-joke (hint: hover).
posted by dhartung at 9:52 PM on March 25, 2009

Damn. I was wondering where I lost that.
posted by loquacious at 10:40 PM on March 25, 2009

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so anal
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:44 AM on March 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

This. This is a good way to repost something from Digg/Reddit/whatever. With context, and other links, and meta-reaction links, and extra comedy, and most of all with more giant cocks.

This. Exactly. Thank you magpie!
posted by rokusan at 1:01 AM on March 26, 2009

I've always wondered why guys like to draw dicks so much.

burnmp3s, in the broken picture telephone MeTa thread:

My first thought when I heard about the site was "I bet a lot of guys will draw dicks on there." I wrote an animation shareware app for PDAs in college that had a pretty similar interface, and about half of the guys I showed it to used it to draw dicks. I'm not quite sure what the appeal is.

I just don't know.

I do appreciate it, though, when someone puts a little bit of extra effort in.
posted by taz at 3:04 AM on March 26, 2009

Wasn't "Sugar Plumed with Anal Sin" a Coil song title?
posted by acb at 6:10 AM on March 26, 2009

I was picturing a giant penis with a brush standing in front of an easel and painting. I am *highly* disappointed now.
posted by jamstigator at 6:31 AM on March 26, 2009

Twiddler on the roof?
posted by Kabanos at 7:13 AM on March 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wasn't "Sugar Plumed with Anal Sin" a Coil song title?

No, but "Anal Staircase" was. I wonder if the house has one of those?
posted by asok at 8:25 AM on March 26, 2009

Heh. That went better than I thought for my first post in years. Back to lurking for me. You guys are way sharper than me most days. But I was first with the giant cock! Yay!
posted by magpie68 at 12:52 PM on March 26, 2009

I was first with the giant cock!

Yes, you were, honey. That was really, really big. Really. Much bigger than what we're used to.
posted by taz at 3:01 PM on March 26, 2009

"Twiddle rompus worshipper"?

Worshiper, I think you'll find. That's one solider of Christ who does not except his own families language.
posted by Wataki at 8:56 PM on March 26, 2009

Worshiper, I think you'll find. That's one solider of Christ who does not except his own families language.

They're both right. Your snark is misplaced.
posted by nasreddin at 10:17 AM on March 27, 2009

I look forward seeing tshirts inspired by this:

sugar plummed

or


twiddle
posted by cpdavy at 4:43 PM on March 29, 2009

my appologies - the links to the images didn't work out, but I' isure that tshirst embalzoned with "sugar plummed with anal sin" would be fast movers at any pride event.
posted by cpdavy at 4:46 PM on March 29, 2009