Apocalypse Now
April 16, 2009 7:03 PM Subscribe
The Brick Testament (previously: 1, 2, 3), created in 2001 by the Reverend Brendan Powell Smith, has just reached The Book of Revelations.
you know its the end times when you get attacked by a monkey with a knife
posted by ShawnString at 7:20 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by ShawnString at 7:20 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
The lamb with the seals has haunted my dreams ever since I saw this the other day. Man, I wish some rich weirdo would give dude a grant so he could Lego-ize great texts of the world full-time.
posted by jtron at 7:56 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by jtron at 7:56 PM on April 16, 2009
For the record, that's "Revelation." No "s".
posted by Richard Daly at 7:57 PM on April 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by Richard Daly at 7:57 PM on April 16, 2009 [5 favorites]
"but do not damage the olive oil and the wine!'
Amen.
posted by Toekneesan at 7:58 PM on April 16, 2009
Amen.
posted by Toekneesan at 7:58 PM on April 16, 2009
Cracked. Out.
posted by boo_radley at 8:01 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by boo_radley at 8:01 PM on April 16, 2009
My new catch-phrase is "Okay, dinner's over. Orgy time."
posted by mds35 at 8:08 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mds35 at 8:08 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
I really love these. A nitpick, though: in the "Epistles of Paul" category, the creator of these includes Ephesians, 1 Peter, and the Pastoral Epistles of Timothy and Titus. 1 Peter is definitely not Pauline, and Timothy, Titus and Ephesians are most probably not Pauline either.
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 8:26 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 8:26 PM on April 16, 2009
Cracked. Out.
I'm so happy they included the eyes-all-over-everything depictions. There is some intensely surreal imagery in Revelations; I first read it at the age of seven when I was flipping through the Gideon Bible in our hotel on a family vacation. My mother probably thought I was being pious, but instead it was because my little seven-year-old mind was tripping out.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'm so happy they included the eyes-all-over-everything depictions. There is some intensely surreal imagery in Revelations; I first read it at the age of seven when I was flipping through the Gideon Bible in our hotel on a family vacation. My mother probably thought I was being pious, but instead it was because my little seven-year-old mind was tripping out.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:50 PM on April 16, 2009 [3 favorites]
I would be so pissed if my creator made my hands into cupholders and I was able to snap my feet onto the ground... but not my groin onto another LEGO-person. :(
However, LEGO still pwns 90 percent of all other toys created. EVER.
erver!!!!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:10 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
However, LEGO still pwns 90 percent of all other toys created. EVER.
erver!!!!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:10 PM on April 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
I would be so pissed if my creator made my hands into cupholders and I was able to snap my feet onto the ground... but not my groin onto another LEGO-person. :(
Novice. Every LEGO expert knows that the mechanics behind minifig sexual reproduction involve the minifig splitting in half somewhere in the middle in a sort of molting action, revealing two prongs which fit neatly in the holes in the rear end of the other minifig, as well as the interesting practice of "leg swapping", which current theories lead us to believe that this is not only the most effective method for reproduction, but also the most intimate sexual act in the mind of a lego minifig.
And yes, the large variety and diversity of sexual positions and methods of reproduction are startling.
However, what is a lesser known fact about minifigs is that they are in actuality mono-sexual, not hermaphrodites as commonly believed. There is no sexual duality, and any gender-bias you assign to minifigs is your own projections. Don't believe me? Here's a bag of minifigs of mixed apparent genders. Start swapping parts around. Put that long girly hair on the scowling, bearded pirate head. Put the grandma head on that astronaut minifig, or the "pretty" head with lipstick on that knight minifig. Go crazy, mix it all up. See? Just more minifigs, all shaped the same. No breasts, no defining sexual characteristics, no apparent genitals. Just minifigs, each and every one.
Ok, that one has three heads stacked on top of each other and technics system robot legs and bionicle tentacle arms, but it's still a gender neutral minifig.
posted by loquacious at 9:27 PM on April 16, 2009 [7 favorites]
Novice. Every LEGO expert knows that the mechanics behind minifig sexual reproduction involve the minifig splitting in half somewhere in the middle in a sort of molting action, revealing two prongs which fit neatly in the holes in the rear end of the other minifig, as well as the interesting practice of "leg swapping", which current theories lead us to believe that this is not only the most effective method for reproduction, but also the most intimate sexual act in the mind of a lego minifig.
And yes, the large variety and diversity of sexual positions and methods of reproduction are startling.
However, what is a lesser known fact about minifigs is that they are in actuality mono-sexual, not hermaphrodites as commonly believed. There is no sexual duality, and any gender-bias you assign to minifigs is your own projections. Don't believe me? Here's a bag of minifigs of mixed apparent genders. Start swapping parts around. Put that long girly hair on the scowling, bearded pirate head. Put the grandma head on that astronaut minifig, or the "pretty" head with lipstick on that knight minifig. Go crazy, mix it all up. See? Just more minifigs, all shaped the same. No breasts, no defining sexual characteristics, no apparent genitals. Just minifigs, each and every one.
Ok, that one has three heads stacked on top of each other and technics system robot legs and bionicle tentacle arms, but it's still a gender neutral minifig.
posted by loquacious at 9:27 PM on April 16, 2009 [7 favorites]
Do gender-neutral minifigs at least scissor, then? I'm unclear on how certain sins are committed sans gender. I mean, there's anal rape in the bible. How can gender-neutral minifigs achieve these various sins in diorama format?
::confusered::
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:39 PM on April 16, 2009
::confusered::
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:39 PM on April 16, 2009
By the way, loquacious, I believe you about the innocent gender-ambiguous design intentions of the good people at LEGO... I'm just sayin'.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:44 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:44 PM on April 16, 2009
See also: Apocamon from Electric Sheep.
WTF, when did e-sheep.com go down? Internet fail!
posted by loquacious at 9:46 PM on April 16, 2009
WTF, when did e-sheep.com go down? Internet fail!
posted by loquacious at 9:46 PM on April 16, 2009
I see someone else got to Apocamon before I did. (According to his LiveJournal, Farley forgot to renew the registration on e-sheep.com in November '07, and it promptly got squatted. He said a few months ago that he was going to be bringing things up at electricsheepcomics.com, but that also looks like it's been squatted.)
posted by asterix at 10:02 PM on April 16, 2009
posted by asterix at 10:02 PM on April 16, 2009
I totally never thought heaven sounded very interesting until I saw this but now I totally want to go because God is fuckin' badass.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:21 AM on April 17, 2009
posted by shakespeherian at 7:21 AM on April 17, 2009
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posted by yhbc at 7:15 PM on April 16, 2009 [1 favorite]