Rats who trade stocks
May 12, 2009 7:26 AM   Subscribe

Rats who trade stocks

The goal is to make them find out sound-patterns that humans are not able to recognize and to predict the next market move after the last sound heard. Each time after listening to a sound, the rats must choose pressing either a green or a red button, green for "long" (if the prices are expected to move up), red for "short" (if they predict a decline in prices). If their prediction prooves to have been correct, they receive a small amount of food, if the wrong button has been pressed, the failing candidates receive a minor electric shock.
posted by rottytooth (23 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
posted by localhuman at 7:32 AM on May 12, 2009

Love it.
posted by Kwine at 7:33 AM on May 12, 2009

Except for the shocks, this sounds like a typical day in the life of a technical analyst.
posted by diogenes at 7:35 AM on May 12, 2009

Rats predicting a sinking ship.
posted by DU at 7:48 AM on May 12, 2009

Is this some sort of metaphor?
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:52 AM on May 12, 2009 [2 favorites]

On a good trading day, either button will feed them lab-grade cocaine.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:00 AM on May 12, 2009 [3 favorites]

This sounds like a Joey Skaggs project.
posted by Phlogiston at 8:05 AM on May 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Is this some sort of metaphor?

I'm going to go with "Yes."
posted by Caduceus at 8:05 AM on May 12, 2009

Last week they qualified for $63 billion in TARP funds.
posted by briank at 8:18 AM on May 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

I fail to see how this is a novel approach.

-I.P. Freely
Sr. VP Marketing and Management
ChimpTronics LLC (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Morgan Stanley)
posted by Pollomacho at 8:26 AM on May 12, 2009

I called. Just for the heck of it. Number goes to Jake Scott Fine Wines, in Grand Cayman. Heh.
posted by janet lynn at 8:29 AM on May 12, 2009

It's a head and shoulders formation!

*electric shock*

NO, it's a reverse flag signal!

*electric shock*

NO, the Aroon oscillator has crossed its centerline!

*eletric shock*

posted by storybored at 8:37 AM on May 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is one of those cases where the parody is so good it seems real.
I mean, yeah, this has got to be fake, but it's well done.
posted by Deathalicious at 8:54 AM on May 12, 2009

Of course it's a parody - there are things even rats won't do. Bankers, on the other hand...
posted by DreamerFi at 9:17 AM on May 12, 2009

so, the question seems to be should we trust the rats in these cages or the ratfuckers on wall street?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:50 AM on May 12, 2009

If they had given the trader rats teeny tiny neckties this would've owned the internets forever.
posted by Vervain at 10:22 AM on May 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have a few friends in technical analysis who have spent the past several months sleeping, and sobbing, under their desks. Hopefully this will bring them some cheer, or obliterate what's left of their souls.

"Hey guys, you've just been outsourced!"
posted by Ryvar at 10:55 AM on May 12, 2009

Rats trading stocks. Japanese bird cooking spaghetti.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:44 AM on May 12, 2009

Rats who exceed their bandwidth.
posted by xod at 1:47 PM on May 12, 2009

I think this is a cleverly done satire, but someone should really try this. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it worked.
posted by cmoj at 2:08 PM on May 12, 2009

Is this something I would need to be a stock broker to understand?
posted by Phssthpok at 5:35 PM on May 12, 2009

Of course, in real life, the rats who get it wrong still get a reward.
posted by robcorr at 1:26 AM on May 13, 2009 [3 favorites]

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