Our crusade was so stupid that only an idealist could have thought it up

May 25, 2009 10:34 PM

Canada’s Governor General began her Arctic tour by gutting a freshly slaughtered seal, pulling out its heart and eating it raw.

Michaelle Jean, the Queen’s representative to Canada, did it as a gesture of solidarity with the country’s beleaguered seal hunters during her official visit to Canada's North, the reports said.

The European Parliament has voted to endorse an EU-wide ban on seal products in protest at commercial hunting methods.


Nunavut has tried to maintain a distance between the Inuit traditional harvest of seals for food and the controversial commercial seal hunt on the East Coast.

If the European Parliament were really interested in animal welfare, then it might look rather more closely at the farming industry that the European Union so lavishly rewards with subsidies. [Canada criticized for promoting Economist's seal article]

If the seal hunt is “inherently inhumane,” as the European parliamentarians say, why do they tolerate bullfights?

posted by KokuRyu (100 comments total)

After eating the heart ... Jean wiped her blood-soaked fingers with a tissue
Interesting that so many younger women politicians these days still take Margaret Thatcher as their role model.
posted by Abiezer at 10:37 PM on May 25, 2009 [50 favorites]

Now that's politics!
posted by motorcycles are jets at 10:38 PM on May 25, 2009

If only she could've shown this side of her when Harper wanted to prorogue Parliament.
posted by mazola at 10:42 PM on May 25, 2009 [15 favorites]

*points fingers* Your thing is just as bad as my thing!

Yeah, bullfighting and seal clubbing are both wrong and inhumane. Attempting to justify one by invoking the other is doomed to failure.
posted by cmgonzalez at 10:47 PM on May 25, 2009

If the seal hunt is “inherently inhumane,” as the European parliamentarians say, why do they tolerate bullfights?

Because when Europeans do it, it's not animal cruelty. It's man versus nature. OK, maybe it's more like men, several men, who uses lances to wound the bull, then long steel pins jabbed into its neck to keep it from being able to lift its head, as it slowly bleeds out and becomes exhausted, but THEN, when the guy with the sword comes out, then it's totally man versus nature. Besides bullfights are awesome. Remember when Bugs Bunny just stood there with his cape out, totally blasé as the bull was charging at him, and then he yanked it out of the way just in time to reveal an anvil, and the bull slammed into it? Man, that was hilarious.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:49 PM on May 25, 2009 [12 favorites]

Was the heart still beating? It makes a difference.
posted by jabberjaw at 10:49 PM on May 25, 2009 [9 favorites]

I think that this is what Sarah Palin's supporters want her to be-- a blood-soaked, heart chompin' hottie with complicated hair and an uncomplicated world view. But you know she'd never be able to do a thing like this. It would show a solidarity with Native people that would mortify her in front of her real base: Nordstrom shoppers, and aspiring Nordstrom shoppers (who likely also have an interest in the locally popular form of conservative christianity.)
posted by maryh at 10:53 PM on May 25, 2009 [4 favorites]

it's as if no one ever eats meat and the hearts of those animals magically disappear from the supermarkets - right?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:54 PM on May 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I am certainly opposed to the inhumane methods used to "harvest" seals and do support the ban on seal products. However,

Q: What did the baby fur seal say to the bartender?
A: I'll have anything but a Canadian Club on the rocks.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:57 PM on May 25, 2009 [15 favorites]

pyramid termite, even a meat eater can see that this is a highly symbolic act-- your local butcher doesn't get gussied up to slit open a fresh corpse and devour it's raw heart.

And I'm not sure if magic is involved, but seal hearts have, in fact, disappeared from supermarkets!
Abra-cadaver!
posted by maryh at 11:03 PM on May 25, 2009

pyramid termite, even a meat eater can see that this is a highly symbolic act

that's what ozzie osborne said and no one believed him
posted by pyramid termite at 11:06 PM on May 25, 2009

still waiting for someone to care about this...
posted by seagull.apollo at 11:08 PM on May 25, 2009

it could have been worse - she could have made a trip to russia to get some tartar sauce from real tartars
posted by pyramid termite at 11:09 PM on May 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think that this is what Sarah Palin's supporters want her to be-- a blood-soaked, heart chompin' hottie with complicated hair and an uncomplicated world view.

I'm pretty sure that's not what the Governor General is, actually.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:10 PM on May 25, 2009 [10 favorites]

As an Australian, I'm more shocked that Canada's governor general does anything partial, political or interesting at all. Apart from a little hiccup in 1975, our Governors General just sign bills, cut ribbons, and host tea parties.
posted by Jimbob at 11:11 PM on May 25, 2009 [3 favorites]

Canadaaaa fuck yeah!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:26 PM on May 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

If the seal hunt is “inherently inhumane,” as the European parliamentarians say, why do they tolerate bullfights?

It's misleading to say "they" tolerate it. Many Europeans do try to get bullfighting banned. Some political battles just are not easy to win. There are thousands of active fans and many more people who are in favor of bullfighting as a tradition and a business. And it's not just in Europe. aboutmexico.net:

Thousands of bullfighting events occur annually in Mexico. In certain areas in the country, bullfighting rakes in huge amounts of money yearly, coming from both tourists and fellow Mexicans.

As evidence of the popularity of the sport, the largest bullring in the world can be found in Mexico. The bullring is known as Plaza Mexico, which is located in Ciudad de los Deportes, Mexico City. Plaza Mexico can seat around 40,000 people.

I think most people are against blood sports unless they or their friends and family make money from it, and then seal skull crushing and bull taunting and stabbing and dog fighting and kitten hacky sack all somehow magically become great traditions that must be upheld.
posted by pracowity at 11:33 PM on May 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

Next delicacy: seal flipper pie.
posted by bwg at 11:38 PM on May 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I've got a $2 bill from the 70s and it has a huge mural of the seal hunt on it. Until PETA came along this was a great Canadian tradition.
posted by Pseudology at 11:40 PM on May 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think that this is what Sarah Palin's supporters want her to be-- a blood-soaked, heart chompin' hottie with complicated hair and an uncomplicated world view. But you know she'd never be able to do a thing like this. It would show a solidarity with Native people that would mortify her in front of her real base:

Erm, you know her husband is part native, right? Not that she isn't a horrible person overall.
posted by delmoi at 12:14 AM on May 26, 2009

delmoi, her legislative treatment of the Yupik (in spite of Todd's connection to them) was one of the big flashing red lights during her Vice Presidential bid.
posted by maryh at 1:13 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I would describe this as a storm in a tea-cup but that would be to overly dramatise the situation.
posted by ob at 1:14 AM on May 26, 2009

I'm sure the animal rights groups will focus on bull fights once they've made real progress on the seal hunt and other issues. But the seals are a far better target for PETAs resources for three reasons : (1) vastly more seals are killed than bulls. (2) the commercial seal hunt isn't being done by the Inuits, but bull fights have always been a Spanish thing. (3) seals are far far cuter than bulls.

I suspect any Spanish politicians supporting the ban are aware that animal rights people are eventually coming for their bull fights too.
posted by jeffburdges at 1:48 AM on May 26, 2009

(1) vastly more seals are killed than bulls. (2) the commercial seal hunt isn't being done by the Inuits, but bull fights have always been a Spanish thing. (3) seals are far far cuter than bulls.


Also: bulls are actually dangerous animals. Yes, I know bullfights are engineered so that by the time the matador faces the bull it is greatly weakened, and I'm told modern bullfights are overengineered enough to piss of traditionalists who think they should be more dangerous, but bulls are still actually dangerous animals.

I, for one, would not get in an arena with an angry bull with only a sword to defend myself; I have witnessed a Murray Grey bull, all one tonne of him, jump a shoulder high fence from a standing start when I was trying to draft him off from a herd of cows. It left a powerful impression.

A bull can kill a man, even a man with a sword. There are still injuries and deaths from bullfighting; the odds may be stacked against the bull, but there's still a sense that there's a sport there, in that the bull can win, can fuck up its tormentors. It's a fairly inaccurate view, but compared to a baby seal? C'mon.
posted by rodgerd at 2:43 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Canada’s Governor General began her Arctic tour by gutting a freshly slaughtered seal, pulling out its heart and eating it raw.

And in other Onion news...
posted by Drexen at 2:45 AM on May 26, 2009

Good for her. Now you can go back to your factory farmed eggs, milk, chicken, pork and beef in the smug satisfaction that, well, I've no idea really except they aren't CUTE.
posted by unSane at 3:43 AM on May 26, 2009 [7 favorites]

I think most people are against blood sports unless they or their friends and family make money from it

If seal hunting were outlawed, people would go without their livelihood. That's the core here; they don't see it as a matter of protecting animals but of harming them.

If the world were friendlier towards people without enough to eat, many of these problems, if not evaporate, would suddenly become much less severe.
posted by JHarris at 4:06 AM on May 26, 2009

I've got a $2 bill from the 70s and it has a huge mural of the seal hunt on it. Until PETA came along this was a great Canadian tradition.

For anyone who's interested, here's a picture of the image in question, printed on the 1974 design. Plus a brief history of Joseph Idlout, the Inuit hunter who is depicted in the seal hunt scene.
posted by spoobnooble at 4:38 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I remember a story by one of my french teachers about how she was down in the south of newfoundland with a francophone family, and ended up eating seal penis without realizing what it was. So flipper pie doesn't seem THAT terrible.

And JHarris brings up a good point - the people who are seal hunting are damn poor. They're generally fishermen, or lobster trappers, or work in the various fish plants. Lobster prices have done terribly this year, so they're going to be up shit creek. Especially when you figure that federal assistance to Newfoundland is tricky so long as the leaders of the two places have their pissing contest. As for cod, well it collapsed before I have good memories, admittedly due to a Canadian lack of regulations - but it's been exacerbated by EU boats, it would seem. And furthermore, Europe has done the same with their cod, but after ours had crashed with the insight that should have given. So you've got the poorest segment of society the ones who are doing the hunt, which means it'll be tricky to ban it.

[I hope that anyone who refers to it as 'seal clubbing' also says things like chicken decapitation, cow skull-crushing, etc etc. ]
posted by Lemurrhea at 4:41 AM on May 26, 2009 [8 favorites]

More like brain imploding, but yeah. Mmm, cow.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:49 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

There are still injuries and deaths from bullfighting; the odds may be stacked against the bull, but there's still a sense that there's a sport there, in that the bull can win, can fuck up its tormentors.

Oh, totally. I'm sure that's exactly what the bull is thinking, too as he's standing there, trapped, surrounded by thousands of cheering fans, with no escape save for the death that is sure to follow his deliberately prolonged torture. It's a sport, like baseball, only with more stabbing.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:54 AM on May 26, 2009 [11 favorites]

Unless by "the bull can win" you mean "the bull might be mercifully struck by a falling asteroid at some point during the match". Whether a matador gets gored or not, the bull never wins.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:57 AM on May 26, 2009

I am assuming everyone here complaining about this is a vegetarian. Because, you know, the animals you eat that you buy at the super market probably lived crappy ass lives till they died crappy ass deaths so you can eat way more meat than these people up North ever dream of.
posted by chunking express at 5:00 AM on May 26, 2009

If seal hunting were outlawed, people would go without their livelihood.

It doesn't appear to provide anyone's primary income, and it is a secondary income for a fairly small group (5,000 to 6,000). Tell them they have X years to learn to do something else to make up for the portion of their income that comes from seal hunting and that the government will pay for retraining and relocation if needed. Reduce the quota every year until it reaches zero. End of commercial seal hunting.
posted by pracowity at 5:02 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

If seal hunting were outlawed, people would go without their livelihood.

It doesn't appear to provide anyone's primary income, and it is a secondary income for a fairly small group (5,000 to 6,000). Tell them they have X years to learn to do something else to make up for the portion of their income that comes from seal hunting and that the government will pay for retraining and relocation if needed. Reduce the quota every year until it reaches zero. End of commercial seal hunting.

It's only a secondary income in the sense that it's not the only income. Realistically, for the people who get income from it, it's needed to bring their income up from below poverty to above it, because their primary income isn't enough to do that.

And your suggestion ignores all kinds of politics, logistical challenges, everything that makes things difficult to do. People don't want to leave the communities that their families have been in for 100-400 years, but the only living is seal hunting. The government doesn't want to pay for retraining because it didn't do all that well last time. The people don't want to pay for relocation because they assume it's entirely the fault of the hunters that said hunters aren't making enough (and that they're cruel and disgusting people). Retraining doesn't help when there are no jobs in the market anyways. Things are more difficult than that.

Have the government pay for retooling of car production plants towards electric-only vehicles, and retraining for the assembly workers. Tell the big 3 that they have X years to switch to electric. Raise the mpg limit every year until it's well over 200. End of gas-based automobiles?
posted by Lemurrhea at 5:17 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Stop me if you've heard this one: A baby seal walks into a club....
posted by Floydd at 5:38 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is no rubber stamp G.G.

Michaelle Jean is married to international philosopher John Ralston Saul, and the things she does are all for a reason (no pun intended). Beautiful, classy, and exceedingly brilliant, Michaelle Jean is making a point about national sovereignty and resource allocation.

Of course, there are many who do not agree with the seal hunt, but for too long Canada has been bowing to international media pressure, and her actions signal that Canada will now be taking the seal hunt back from movie stars and wealthy bleeding hearts.

It is a Canadian issue, and will be dealt with by Canadians henceforth.

Oh, and references to that idiot stewardess Sarah Palin are simply wrong. America does not have a person or position even remotely similar to the vibrant and involved Canadian G.G. Palin is the seals intellectual equal, if anything.
posted by Aetius Romulous at 5:46 AM on May 26, 2009 [6 favorites]

McCartney is gonna be really mad now.
posted by spirit72 at 5:47 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Aetius Romulous, I think you're mixing up Michaelle Jean with the previous G-G, Adrienne Clarkson. Jean is married to Daniel Lafond (who also taught philosophy, to be fair), who was in the little scandal about his possible separatist leanings.
posted by Lemurrhea at 5:51 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

G.G. Palin

I see an awesome new band name/shock-rock act!!
posted by stifford at 5:58 AM on May 26, 2009 [7 favorites]

I'm now officially terrified of Canada. Please don't invade us.

Jesus christ.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 6:06 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I can't believe anyone can equate seal hunting with bullfighting. Bullfighting is a sport. It's done for fun, for jollies, for macho bullshit. Seal hunting is for food and the skins - just as much as cows are used by people for precisely the same ends. They have big endearing eyes too, but no-one cares about that, do they? The 'it's a living for people that can't otherwise make one' shouldn't even be an issue, in my opinion - it's hunting, just as much as deer, rabbit, bear or carabou hunting is.

I can see people demanding the same standards of humane killing that are also demanded in abatoirs in commercial seal hunting, but I can't see any justification at all in people demanding that it is banned unless the very same people are demanding the banning of ALL hunting, farming and all use of animal skins and meat eating.

'This animal is cuter than this one' is a ridiculous standpoint to demand banning of hunting of a particular animal, but I can't see all that much justification otherwise for why seal hunting is so vilified compared to anything else. It's one of the few animals that people can hunt/farm/eat in the areas they live in and they've been eating them for many years.

Comparing a form of hunting/farming with a blood sport is even more ridiculous.
posted by Brockles at 6:44 AM on May 26, 2009 [17 favorites]

Tch, Canada. Dick Cheney was eating the raw, still beating heart of various mammals once a week and it never made the newspapers. Then again, he had staff to do the butchering.
posted by Nelson at 6:45 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

The European ban, and a few of the comments in this thread, seem to be based on erroneous or outdated information. The seal hunt in question is not the PETA-influenced picture of a fuzzy white newborn seal pup being clubbed with a spiked Louisville Slugger. The harvesting of pups has been banned for years. This isn't about fur coats. Almost every part of the seal is harvested and used nowadays.
Secondly, the vast majority of seals are shot and killed instantly by a high-powered rifle from the sealing boats. Once the hunters land on the ice floe to harvest the dead seals, they will club those that weren't a clean kill, to end their suffering.
Now how is this any different from the methods used in enlightened Europe in their hunting and farming practices? This is all about the cuteness of the animals in question, and nothing more.
posted by rocket88 at 6:46 AM on May 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

1. Hunting seals is an important part of Inuit life– socially, economically, and nutritionally. THERE ARE NO FUCKING VEGETABLES IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE.

2. The Inuit are becoming as endangered as the animals they hunt.

3. It seems as though rational people could work out some kind of compromise – thus PETA should not be involved in this discussion.

4. That big red chair is awesome.
posted by Mister_A at 6:51 AM on May 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

Lemurrhea ; Yup, I gapped that for sure. Never post before coffee. Thanks
posted by Aetius Romulous at 6:52 AM on May 26, 2009

This is all about the cuteness of the animals in question, and nothing more.

This. Yes. The cuteness of the animal and the fact that it happens outdoors where we can get tv news cameras in, rather than in feedlots and slaughterhouses. Save the charismatic megafauna!
posted by arcticwoman at 6:58 AM on May 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

arcticwoman is clearly biased and should be barred from this chamber for the remainder of the deliberations.
posted by Mister_A at 7:02 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Michaelle Jean is married to international philosopher John Ralston Saul

No no, that was Canada's previous GG, Adrienne Clarkson.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:07 AM on May 26, 2009

Michelle Jean: she prorogued Parliament, and ate a seal's raw beating heart.
posted by acro at 7:10 AM on May 26, 2009

I hate to do this but...

MetaFilter: It's a sport, like baseball, only with more stabbing.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:13 AM on May 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

I am certainly opposed to the inhumane methods used to "harvest" seals and do support the ban on seal products.

There is no evidence that the seal-hunting is crueler than any other method of killing animals.

From the Economist:

"Four years ago the WWF, an environmental organisation, commissioned an independent vet’s report which concluded that seal clubbing is not cruel if it is properly done by competent and trained professionals. The report judged that the Canadian hunt was professional and highly regulated. And the vets said that popular horror of the seal hunt seemed to be based largely on emotion and on images that are difficult even for experienced observers to interpret."

posted by jb at 7:17 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm going to go with This Did Not Happen. Someone has punk'd the news feed.
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:35 AM on May 26, 2009

BTW, the "hotGG" and "sexyGG" tags are unwarranted.
posted by rocket88 at 7:47 AM on May 26, 2009 [7 favorites]

Dear lord, but I wish more politicians did things like this.. I have the feeling that it won't really catch on until we see the presidential bid by the Marduk / Amon Amarth ticket.
posted by FatherDagon at 8:07 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Tell them they have X years to learn to do something else to make up for the portion of their income that comes from seal hunting and that the government will pay for retraining and relocation if needed. Reduce the quota every year until it reaches zero. End of commercial seal hunting.

You realize that the Inuit are evolutionarily adapted for living in the Arctic, and have tremendous difficulties moving away from there, don't you?

Eskimos have a higher-than-ordinary basal metabolism rate (they burn their food faster), which enables them to keep their blood temperature at a tolerable level despite the cold. Their blood vessels are arranged in such a way that there is increased blood flow to exposed body parts, such as the hands. In addition, blood returning from the hands is warmed before re-entering the heart.

End the commercial seal hunt and you remove one of the few consistent means of feeding yourself up there.
posted by fatbird at 8:42 AM on May 26, 2009

Kali Ma! KALI MA!
posted by brain_drain at 8:53 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think that this is what Sarah Palin's supporters want her to be.

Black?
posted by rokusan at 9:01 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Two photos, for those interested.
posted by modernnomad at 9:01 AM on May 26, 2009

Any way, how dare she show respect for the cultural traditions of an ancient lineage of smart, crafty, and generous hunters who eke out a living amid some of the most outlandish conditions on earth?
posted by Mister_A at 9:40 AM on May 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

That's a good way to get a parasite...
posted by LakesideOrion at 9:42 AM on May 26, 2009

Two photos


That...

I...

[exhales slowly]
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:42 AM on May 26, 2009

As a vegetarian and a hater of Stephen Harper, I somehow yet again have even more respect for Michelle Jean.

What the hell?

She's so awesome.
posted by Alex404 at 9:49 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

<>i>our Governors General just sign bills, cut ribbons, and host tea parties.

Canada is basically the same except our GG's host tea parties where the tea is replaced by FRESH SEAL BLOOD.

The biggest complaint about the GG is usually how much money she spends. Clarkson really cranked up the GG's budget and Jean hasn't let up either. But both of them were far more awesome than the PMs they served. I can hardly imagine how they'll they top Jean when a new GG has to be appointed.
posted by GuyZero at 10:01 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years now but this is less objectionable to me than people eating hamburgers.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:11 AM on May 26, 2009

"Eskimos have a higher-than-ordinary basal metabolism rate..." [...] End the commercial seal hunt and you remove one of the few consistent means of feeding yourself up there.

"Up there" in Atlantic Canada? Don't conflate two distinct groups.

There are the natives who hunted seal in the north for subsistence and who still hunt seal to some extent. They are responsible for about 3 percent of the total seal kill in Canada. In deference to tradition, Europe excluded them from the ban.

And then there are the commercial Atlantic fishermen up around Newfoundland and PEI who kill the other 97 percent to make a buck. They aren't Eskimos who have a "higher-than-ordinary basal metabolism rate" and so on, they're generally white guys named Gord and Doug who sell seal carcasses for about a hundred Canadian dollars each to corporations that sell them on to international markets. It is their product that Europe wants to keep out.

And it's not just those cheese-eating Europeans who want to keep seal products out. From the 5th link:

The EU ban -- on pelts, used for making bags, hats and gloves, and meat, oil, organs and fat -- adds to those announced by the United States and Mexico, two of Canada's main trading partners.

The US banned the import of marine mammal products in 1972 (again with exceptions for native catches and so on).
posted by pracowity at 10:45 AM on May 26, 2009

Reminds me of the hype on folks using live dogs as shark bait.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:31 AM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Have any other Mefites eaten seal meat? My sister in law's boyfriend brought some to Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago. It is VERY fishy.
posted by vespabelle at 11:35 AM on May 26, 2009

Well, as ugly as the images of clubbed harp seals are, my understanding is that the seal hunt is a sustainable and reasonably humane harvest by modern food industry standards, and it's small enough and steeped in enough tradition that this Canadian's inclined to let it ride. But if it's so offensive to European sensibilities, I'd be willing as a Canadian to endorse a commercial hunting ban. On one very big condition:

The EU join the Canadian government to act immediately and bilaterly to dismantle the British Columbia salmon farming industry, which is run almost entirely by a handful of reckless Norwegian conglomerates and is singlehandedly destroying the sacred, essential wild salmon populations of North America's Pacific coast and is a health disaster besides.

Alas, graphic photos of wild salmon smolts in the agonizing grip of sea lice - "the equivalent of a full-grown raccoon clutching an adult human's abdomen" - seem to make fewer headlines in Europe than outdated stock photos of bleeding harp seal pups. So I'm not holding my breath for a near-term ban on farmed salmon imports.

(For full details, read Taras Grescoe's excellent investigative report, "The Trouble with Salmon." Then go buy his book Bottomfeeder. Then brace yourself for a fundamental change in your pescivorous diet.)
posted by gompa at 11:41 AM on May 26, 2009 [6 favorites]

Let them eat tofu!

BTW hearts of many animals are tasty and it's a shame we let them go to waste so often. My favorite is smoked reindeer hearts.

And I'm actually quite proud of the responses here. Seems like Mefites are thinking about the food system in general instead of just OMGSEALSARECUTE.
posted by melissam at 12:04 PM on May 26, 2009

GG Palin was alright in the early days, when they still had a spark of originality, but after a while that whole "watch as I eat the Constitution on stage and then throw the chewed-up pieces at the audience" routine got pretty tired.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:13 PM on May 26, 2009

pracowity, you bring up an important point, in that one way to defend this practice is NOT to say that the industry is constituted entirely by Inuit steeped in some ancient way of life.

However, what is so fucked up about this, as gompa points out, is that relatively speaking, the seal hunt is (to my knowledge) one of the only large scale animal farming practices which is both humane and sustainable.

The way the vast majority of consumed meat in the world is produced is deeply inhumane and extremely destructive.

I mean for fuck sake, the primary reason that people get so worked up about this is that its out in the open. But the fact that its out in the open means that its being enacted on a wild population, the majority of whom lead some approximation of natural lives.

On the other hand, because most industrial animal farming is done behind closed doors, there's this idea that maybe its being done humanely. But implicit in all of this happening behind closed doors is that these animals are essentially treated as meat and food machines, which is, to me, the worst subjugation of what it is to be alive.

I guess we could make it worse if we raped them repeatedly before we did them in. That's the limit of my imagination on that one.
posted by Alex404 at 12:33 PM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh Canada! I am sick to death of hearing about the evils of the seal hunt. I'm from Newfoundland. Yes, it's one big seal clubbing party up here. I clubbed four on my way to work. Babies too!

Check here to see our premier, Danny Williams (on Larry King Live) versus a badly misinformed Paul McCartney and Heather Mills. These two haven't got a fucking clue.

After this aired, my workplace (restaurant - served seafood, not seals) got an e-mail from some arsehole in Alberta saying they wouldn't be spending their tourist dollars in Newfoundland until the inhumane treatment of seals stopped.

We wrote back and told him we wouldn't be spending our tourist dollars in Alberta until they stopped the inhumane treatment of delicious Alberta beef.
posted by futureisunwritten at 1:16 PM on May 26, 2009

And then there are the commercial Atlantic fishermen up around Newfoundland and PEI who kill the other 97 percent to make a buck. They aren't Eskimos who have a "higher-than-ordinary basal metabolism rate" and so on, they're generally white guys named Gord and Doug who sell seal carcasses for about a hundred Canadian dollars each to corporations that sell them on to international markets. It is their product that Europe wants to keep out.

I agree that anti seal hunt moaning is merely classist and not racist. The hunt is Atlantic Canada working-poor seasonal piecework, and the misery tourists who fly over to complain about it could probably but a dent in the hunt by just giving their collected plane fare to the hunters. The seal hunt is largely still around because it provides a trickle of income to people who need it.

I know that instantly destroying a seal's cognitive functions with a bullet or hammer lacks the Old World grace of a subsidized gentleman farmer gorging the shit out of a duck or abusing a juvenile cow to death, but I rather think the core problem is that protestors don't find it as convenient to visit and harass practitioners of the latter due to the fact that these European acts of cruelty take place on private property, and are also so much more fucking disgusting and feature more extended torment than the seal hunt. They can't bare to look at it as much as the quicker, more aesthetically tolerable Canuck gore and flipper show.

Certainly, I have little respect for an outrage primarily driven by subtle chauvinism and the middle class desire for a more *convenient* object to focus one's conscience on.
posted by mobunited at 1:55 PM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure where all the accusations of hypocrisy come from. I'm sure there are some people who casually decry the seal hunt while eating factory farmed meat, but I've met very very few animal rights activists who were not vegetarian. So the people doing the core protesting and such are unlikely to be the ones you're talking about.

(That being said, as a supporter of animal rights and a vegetarian, I think that the priority should be on farming, especially large scale farming. By comparison, almost all forms of hunting are much more humane, at the very least the suffering is condensed into a relatively short period before death, rather than lifelong living conditions. So I would agree that this is not a good use of resources to fight against).
posted by wildcrdj at 2:55 PM on May 26, 2009

You know who else was against seal hunting?

That's right, Brigitte Bardot.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 4:21 PM on May 26, 2009

I'll take clubbed by a Newfie over eaten by a shark/killer whale anyday. At least there is no agonizing bleed out.
posted by humanfont at 4:36 PM on May 26, 2009

If I worked in Parliament, I would spend a week at least pointing at people and yelling "I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING HEART!"

Good times.
posted by fatbird at 4:48 PM on May 26, 2009

That's what I was thinking, fatbird. The GG and the Prime Minister hate each other and another election is in the air. It's like a warning:

"'Arper, back off. If thiz is what I do to baby seal, think what I will do to 'ou."
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 5:15 PM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

immediately and bilaterly to dismantle the British Columbia salmon farming industry

Amen. That shit is going to so bite us in the ass.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:22 PM on May 26, 2009

FINISH HIM!
posted by Bageena at 6:43 PM on May 26, 2009

[visions of Michaelle Jean taking the ulu, slashing through his hide, reaching in and removing Harper's tiny heart, and then popping it whole into her mouth.]
(half of Canada will be having that dream tonight.)

From CTV:

Paul Kaludjak, head of the agency implementing Nunavut's land claims agreement, said the value of seals makes up 20 per cent of his area's economic activity.

And is done sustainably.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:19 PM on May 26, 2009

My wife points out that Stephen Harper's heart would not be delicious, and would indeed be all black and shriveled. So Michaelle may want to give that a pass after all. Bummer.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:31 PM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm a forward thinking left leaning Canadian, and for the most part I support Greenpeace, the Sea Shepherd and similar. I am careful at what I eat and am against animal cruelty. But on sealing I'm just amazed. When I work at my local soup kitchen and read the PETA pamphlets about sealing while I clean up I can't help but notice two things:

a) they don't mention any statistics. There is an robust seal population, 5.6 million harp seals, up from 1.7 million in the 70's, and a hunting quota of 280,000, up from the 275,000 from last year, but down from the 335,000 quota in 2006.

b) they fail to mention that all the major studies agree that current hunting methods are considered appropriate and humane when applied properly. Don't believe me? The World Wildlife Fund (WWF) commissioned an Independent Veterinarians Working Group Report which stated "Perception of the seal hunt seems to be based largely on emotion, and on visual images that are often difficult even for experienced observers to interpret with certainty. While a hakapik strike on the skull of a seal appears brutal, it is humane if it achieves rapid, irreversible loss of consciousness leading to death."

The Canadian Veterinary Medical Association (CVMA) said that the hakapik, when used properly, kills the animal quickly and painlessly. An International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW) study concluded that the hakapik is a humane means of hunting.

All the PETA pamphlets played not on facts but on emotions, but on the image of a white baby harp seal and an inset photo of a man in a parka yielding a hakapik over a pup. It also asked me to send money.

Yes, some of the people hunting out there aren't doing a good job. Training and verification could help to improve this. But tell me that clubbing a seal is not any different than a bolt in the head of a calf for veal, a cow for beef.

It's important that the species and its ecosystem isn't abused, and treated as humanely as possible, but it's also important that both sides are honest with the facts.
posted by furtive at 10:25 PM on May 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

What furtive says so long as we have cruel factory farming methods. The hysteria over sealing is purest bullshit, and I say that with a pretty staunch understanding of the oceanic disaster that we are currently facing. Tuna are about to go extinct.

Fuck seals. Save the species that are so tasty that they really are endangered. Yes, it just might mean you might have to give something up, hypocritics.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:38 PM on May 26, 2009

futureisunwritten: I love the part on the YouTubes where Danny Williams invites them to come to Newfoundland to learn more and Sir Paul says to Williams "you don't have to invite us, we're here in Newfoundland right now" and Williams has to correct him because he's in PEI. Awesome.
posted by ludicdruid at 10:55 PM on May 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Dude, even Treehugger doesn't give a damn about this.

As others have mentioned, I really wish that people would focus less on the cute marine animals and more on the ones that really need our help. Like tuna - the larger species are being overfished near to extinction and the smaller ones continue to be harvested unsustainably, with lots of bycatch. Bluefin tuna is critically endangered, but people continue to eat it - that's like eating tiger or rhinoceros.

Honestly, I think I'd rather hang out with a tuna than a seal. The seal might bite me, but hanging out in the water with giant fish is awesome.

On preview, I see five fresh fish and I are thinking along similar lines.
posted by bettafish at 12:39 AM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

There can be very good logic in campaigns to save cute animals.

To save Fluffy in situ, and not just as a zoological specimen, you probably have to save the entire ecosystem in which Fluffy lives. Maybe Fluffy eats only two plants, and those two plants grow only in certain places under certain conditions, and only if a certain bug pollinates those two plants, and that bug in turn depends on another bug that depends on a certain flower...

So borders are drawn, tests are made, guards are posted, various plants and animals are tracked and counted, fines are imposed, poachers and recreational vehicles and so on are kept out, and less money goes into the pockets of the sort of people you want to shut down (for example, construction companies responsible for deforestation and sprawl). Developmental encroachment is stopped and a wide variety of scaly, revolting, and deadly plants and animals are preserved in the place where Fluffy lives. Meanwhile, people contributing to the Save Fluffy Fund, people who otherwise wouldn't have sent in any money, are now contributing to the entire environmental organization and all of its efforts to save scaly and revolting animals everywhere. Laws put in place to save Fluffy also protect other species or become models for such laws.

The law that keeps seal meat off the US market may be partly the result of campaigns featuring pictures of big-eyed seal pups being beaten to death and skinned, but that law protects all marine mammals.
posted by pracowity at 4:18 AM on May 27, 2009

The law that keeps seal meat off the US market may be partly the result of campaigns featuring pictures of big-eyed seal pups being beaten to death and skinned, but that law protects all marine mammals.

It goes a little farther back than big-eyed seal pups on the TV, pracowity.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:43 AM on May 27, 2009

It certainly does in general, but the act I'm talking about, the one that includes all marine mammals, is from 1972.
posted by pracowity at 5:21 AM on May 27, 2009

So has this issue just turned into Canadians versus the rest of the world? Are only Canadians aware of the fact that seals (unlike cod) are not endangered, and that both shooting and clubbing them (which stuns them immediately) is no more inhumane than any other slaughter method in commercial meat production, and substantially more humane than some?

Because listening to the McCartneys, it feels more like arguing with flat earthers than a good debate. They just don't know what they are talking about, and they are acting out of ignorance and, frankly, I think some prejudice - not racial, but class/cultural, as the use of "barbaric" and "archaic" suggests. It's like they would rather these seals live their whole lives in their own shit, like factory farmed pigs, than to be so "archaic" as to live free-range and then be hunted at not a little danger to the hunters.
posted by jb at 7:24 AM on May 27, 2009

Are only Canadians aware of the fact that seals (unlike cod) are not endangered...

While technically correct, apparently Canadians are the only ones who are aware that northern fur seals are not endangered.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:23 AM on May 27, 2009

While technically correct, apparently Canadians are the only ones who are aware that northern fur seals are not endangered.
posted by Pollomacho An hour ago [+]

I don't think that is the species in question - the Northern Fur Seal appears to live off of Alaska. (Which is, you know, technically not in Canada).

The seal species that the news talks about in regards to the Canadian seal hunt is the Harp Seal.
posted by jb at 10:35 AM on May 27, 2009

Sorry - double checked the range, and the Northern Fur Seal does appear to live off of western Canada (as B.C. is in Canada, and we'll keep it because it's very pretty).

But this is about the Atlantic and eastern Arctic seal hunt - and that species is considered to be of "least concern", and not even "vulnerable".
posted by jb at 10:37 AM on May 27, 2009

ludicdruid: That part alone was worth it! I think the McCartneys thought they were going to be talking to some witless fisherman and instead they got a well-deserved dose of Danny Millions.

I was born and raised in St. John's and the fishery barely registers on the radar here these days, let alone the seal hunt (although a local t-shirt shop did have a lot of success with the I ♣ Baby Seals shirts, but that's just us being defensive).

Michaelle Jean made a statement with her action. I'll make a similar one tonight with flipper pie and a nice juicy tenderloin.
posted by futureisunwritten at 11:21 AM on May 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I had a hard time believing this wasn't a joke until I saw the pictures. It's nice to see a politician express solidarity with a community by actually sharing in their traditions. It's certainly not like I was imagining from the headlines, though...

It was a cold and frigid day, and the Governor General was thirsty -- not the ordinary kind of thirsty we know, where you drink some water and feel refreshed and nourished and it's just a part of life. No, she knew there was only one thing that would satisfy her today, and that was why she had been on this ship for hours, braving the harsh elements and icy sea. She was growing weak, and there was not much time left. Then she saw what she was looking for - a family of seals having a picnic on an ice flow, discussing how they could advance the cause for world peace and animal rights. She quickly narrowed in on the youngest, cutest, seal, the pride of its mother since its recent birth. It was wearing a pink ribbon on its head and she knew it was the one.

She jumped from the ship with a knife in her mouth and a club strapped to her back. The seals started screaming -- Michaelle Jean was back again, and thirsting for blood. They gathered around the cute baby seal with the pink ribbon in a vain attempt to protect it, but they were no match. She let out a primal yell as she kicked them out into the icy water with her strong and supple legs, which were protruding from her revealing fur clothing. Now, it was time.

In a swift blow, she crushed the cute, ribbon-wearing seal's skull, forcing its eyes out of their sockets. She jumped on its back, sticking her fingers in its empty eye sockets for grip, as she used her other hand to slit it open. Her breath was fast and her heart racing - after all this time, her thirst would be sated. Grasping the still beating heart firmly, she tore it from the seal's body, the fresh blood warming her as it trickled down her forearms. She brought it to her mouth and bit in, using her strong jaw and sharp incisors to tear off a mouthful of delicious baby seal heart.

She felt her strength begin to return as she lay next to the steaming corpse and finished consuming its heart. It would not be the first time, nor the last, but it was her duty, and the duty of every Governor General before her. She tied the bow around her muscular bicep, placed the seal's corpse on her head like a dapper sort of hat and jumped 15 feet through the air back to the ship. Now satisfied, she sailed back to the mainland to continue her tour of the arctic.
posted by nTeleKy at 12:23 PM on May 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dear nTeleKy, you're hired. Love, PETA.
posted by futureisunwritten at 1:05 PM on May 27, 2009

The seal species that the news talks about in regards to the Canadian seal hunt is the Harp Seal.

Well, in that case, club away! Hooray! Who wants a club? Clubs for everyone!
posted by Pollomacho at 1:16 PM on May 27, 2009

Well, in that case, club away! Hooray! Who wants a club? Clubs for everyone!
posted by Pollomacho at 4:16 PM on May 27 [+] [!]

Exactly - that's what all the Canadians have been saying: the species is not endangered, and the clubbing is not cruel. So what reason is there for being upset about the hunt?

I'm going to go buy a sealskin coat for this winter. I know I usually prefer wool, but frankly, that's kind of abusive to sheep. They even cut their tails right off! While they are alive!
posted by jb at 4:12 PM on May 27, 2009

Let's rename them "Harper Seals." Then every Canuck will want in on the action.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:38 PM on May 27, 2009 [7 favorites]