Sewer Creatures
June 30, 2009 11:41 AM Subscribe
David Cronenberg must hang out down there.
posted by orville sash at 11:44 AM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by orville sash at 11:44 AM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Um...
What the *sputter* fffffuck are those things?! They are moving!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:45 AM on June 30, 2009
What the *sputter* fffffuck are those things?! They are moving!
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:45 AM on June 30, 2009
Please god someone nuke the fuck out of our sewers NOW!!
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:48 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:48 AM on June 30, 2009
Nest of insects?
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:49 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:49 AM on June 30, 2009
from Reddit: The theory is that they are a type of freshwater Bryozoa, similar to the ones found in Colorado
posted by GuyZero at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
Someone please tell me what those are before I have to freak the fuck out.
posted by ixohoxi at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by ixohoxi at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
I am having such an awful day that this video improved it exponentially. Just as that Montauk monster captivated my imagination oh so long ago, I will watch this over and over waiting, breathlessly, for an answer.
posted by bunnycup at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by bunnycup at 11:50 AM on June 30, 2009
They're also freaking out about this on io9. I tend to agree with the suggestion that it's something viral. Cloverfield 2?
posted by orrnyereg at 11:52 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by orrnyereg at 11:52 AM on June 30, 2009
Pepsi Brown.
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 11:52 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ElmerFishpaw at 11:52 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
They kinda look like... nipples.
A colony of nipples.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:54 AM on June 30, 2009
A colony of nipples.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:54 AM on June 30, 2009
Whose nipples have you been looking at?! Cthulhu's?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:56 AM on June 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 11:56 AM on June 30, 2009 [8 favorites]
are we certain this isn't just somebody's colonoscopy?
posted by HuronBob at 11:56 AM on June 30, 2009
posted by HuronBob at 11:56 AM on June 30, 2009
First: Ewwwwh!
Second: If I were a betting woman, I'd guess we're being Blair Witched.
Third: Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles? Just saying...perhaps the sewers in North Carolina have grown balls?
I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's going to fuel some nightmares. Bleh!
posted by dejah420 at 12:06 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Second: If I were a betting woman, I'd guess we're being Blair Witched.
Third: Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles? Just saying...perhaps the sewers in North Carolina have grown balls?
I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's going to fuel some nightmares. Bleh!
posted by dejah420 at 12:06 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Is there any more info on this at all? Location?
I'd particularly like the location so that I can never go to that place ever.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:07 PM on June 30, 2009
I'd particularly like the location so that I can never go to that place ever.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:07 PM on June 30, 2009
I do not know if these are fake or not, but if they are then hats off because that is the most icky thing I have seen for ages. Yiiiick!
Or as it says in comments somewhere: This is why humans had to invent fire.
posted by Artw at 12:09 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Or as it says in comments somewhere: This is why humans had to invent fire.
posted by Artw at 12:09 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Please send in Ripley w/ flamethrower ASAP. Also, was it a robot-mounted video cam? Cause that part was kind of cool...
posted by shino-boy at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by shino-boy at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009
And you thought the fluke monster from the X-Files was just made up! Ha!
posted by rtha at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by rtha at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Yay! Half-Life 3 is coming out!!!!!
posted by lumpenprole at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by lumpenprole at 12:10 PM on June 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*bursts into tears*
posted by Skot at 12:13 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
*bursts into tears*
posted by Skot at 12:13 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Are we sure this isn't a Matthew Barney test reel?
posted by From Bklyn at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by From Bklyn at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009
My thoughts having watched this far more than I should when supposed to be working:
- not a Bryozoa, they don't move like that
- not a slime mould, they don't move like that
- not some sort of insect/worm colony, seems too coherent
- not the inside of someone, environment looks man-made
- the sewer seems very small in relation to the camera, not sure what that indicates
Without any other ideas, the only other theory that works is a very unusual viral. If it is viral, I'd pay to see whatever film this is promoting, because if they can make things that look that awesome/creepy I'd love to see 90 minutes worth.
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009
- not a Bryozoa, they don't move like that
- not a slime mould, they don't move like that
- not some sort of insect/worm colony, seems too coherent
- not the inside of someone, environment looks man-made
- the sewer seems very small in relation to the camera, not sure what that indicates
Without any other ideas, the only other theory that works is a very unusual viral. If it is viral, I'd pay to see whatever film this is promoting, because if they can make things that look that awesome/creepy I'd love to see 90 minutes worth.
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009
I would quite like a robot to explore my own drains, and see what blocks the fuckers so much. I suspect it's roots, and not mini-shoggoths.
posted by Artw at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 12:14 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Parenthetically, apparently I owe a much huger debt of gratitude than previously imagined to the various women out there who have had the monumental courage and strength of mind to tickle my balls.
posted by Skot at 12:15 PM on June 30, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by Skot at 12:15 PM on June 30, 2009 [10 favorites]
Of course I'm secretly hoping our alien overlords have finally arrived and are currently gestating on our precious bodily fluids/discarded drugs
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2009
It's The Invasion of Satan's Nutsacks
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:16 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
If you are or have viewed this video then you are cursed for life.
(The only way to undo this curse is to enter the sewer system and return with three still-throbbing creatures, thrust them into bright sunlight and document their screaming demise.)
posted by xod at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
(The only way to undo this curse is to enter the sewer system and return with three still-throbbing creatures, thrust them into bright sunlight and document their screaming demise.)
posted by xod at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
So...... How come you guys can see it, but it's marked private for me?
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
What's up with the "this video is private" business?
posted by numbskeleton at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by numbskeleton at 12:17 PM on June 30, 2009
He just set the video to private. Illuminati!
posted by lumpenprole at 12:18 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by lumpenprole at 12:18 PM on June 30, 2009
The video is marked as private.
posted by ...possums at 12:19 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by ...possums at 12:19 PM on June 30, 2009
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls... I really wish they were balls.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 12:20 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by 1f2frfbf at 12:20 PM on June 30, 2009
I can't see it either
posted by rottytooth at 12:21 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by rottytooth at 12:21 PM on June 30, 2009
I assume this is pretty much the same thing, though. Horrifyingly awesome. Reminds me of Krang.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 12:22 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 12:22 PM on June 30, 2009
Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles?
Yes, I leap about three feet in the air if I'm not given fair warning.
posted by Abiezer at 12:24 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Yes, I leap about three feet in the air if I'm not given fair warning.
posted by Abiezer at 12:24 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles?
I have never moved like that when I've tickled a man's testicles. I don't know what you're talking about.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:25 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I have never moved like that when I've tickled a man's testicles. I don't know what you're talking about.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:25 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I parsed that wrong so my joke was crap. Mind, yours is only better cos it makes sense.
posted by Abiezer at 12:28 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by Abiezer at 12:28 PM on June 30, 2009
Since we can no longer see what the video was, I will submit that based on the descriptions upthread it might be one of these (warning: nightmarish image).
Now I have to go and scrub my brain.
posted by quin at 12:29 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Now I have to go and scrub my brain.
posted by quin at 12:29 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Hmm, on digging around some more, KDVR claims it is a Bryozoa, "An aquatic specialist from the DOW confirmed that what the camera had discovered was actually a Bryozoan, a primitive life form that, as a species, is over 350 million years old."
Funny that it's movement doesn't really jive with what I've read on the wikipedia page on Bryozoa, and other sources.
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:29 PM on June 30, 2009
Funny that it's movement doesn't really jive with what I've read on the wikipedia page on Bryozoa, and other sources.
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:29 PM on June 30, 2009
What gives me the fake vibe is that the pacing is too good. The robot moves at what appears to be a fast clip down the tunnel, and despite being right next to them doesn't spook the Things until the everything is in focus. If I were filming Cthulu's children in the sewer; I'd probably get more than 2 minutes of footage, even though that would get a little dull.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:31 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:31 PM on June 30, 2009
As the vid is now private, use the link provided by Captain Cardanthian!: link
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:32 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by MetaMonkey at 12:32 PM on June 30, 2009
rtha, I thought of the X-Files Fluke man, too. But that vid leads to this:
The Host - great monster flick.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:33 PM on June 30, 2009
The Host - great monster flick.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 12:33 PM on June 30, 2009
(warning: nightmarish image).
JESUS FUCK WHY DID I LOOK NYYYYYRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH
posted by FatherDagon at 12:35 PM on June 30, 2009
JESUS FUCK WHY DID I LOOK NYYYYYRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH
posted by FatherDagon at 12:35 PM on June 30, 2009
It's not private anymore. Weird.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 12:38 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 12:38 PM on June 30, 2009
The Howstuffworks blog has a video of some guys blowing them the hell up with guns, if that makes anybody feel better. They didn't defend themselves at all.
posted by dammitjim at 12:39 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by dammitjim at 12:39 PM on June 30, 2009
"notice the retraction of a stiff nail like object from the third and last creature from the seam in the pipe."
IT'S TOOL USING! Head for the hills!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:40 PM on June 30, 2009
IT'S TOOL USING! Head for the hills!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:40 PM on June 30, 2009
I think it's a miniature, though a nicely done one. Look at the shots of the sewer and the trickling of water in relation to the walls...
posted by sharkitect at 12:40 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by sharkitect at 12:40 PM on June 30, 2009
Is there any more info on this at all? Location?Cameron Village the bland sunbelt mall in Raleigh.
posted by bendybendy at 12:44 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by bendybendy at 12:44 PM on June 30, 2009
Hmm, something went wrong there. Hopefully, it is under this Cameron Village.
http://www.shopsofcameronvillage.com/
posted by bendybendy at 12:45 PM on June 30, 2009
http://www.shopsofcameronvillage.com/
posted by bendybendy at 12:45 PM on June 30, 2009
- not a Bryozoa, they don't move like that
Further reddit speculation is that the timestamp isn't correct and that the video is sped up.
posted by GuyZero at 12:48 PM on June 30, 2009
Further reddit speculation is that the timestamp isn't correct and that the video is sped up.
posted by GuyZero at 12:48 PM on June 30, 2009
From, what I presume, is some distance down the pipe readout, the two 'sites' are about 2 foot about part. From that I'd guess that the pipe is only a few inches accross, may be half a foot? I'm not going to be checking the drains before I go to bed... despite the fact they look like the belong in a Shaun Hutson/James Herbert/Stephen King* novel
* delete as appropriate for age/nationality
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:51 PM on June 30, 2009
* delete as appropriate for age/nationality
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 12:51 PM on June 30, 2009
I think it's a miniature, though a nicely done one. Look at the shots of the sewer and the trickling of water in relation to the walls...
It's in a small pipe. Look at the distance markers, the first one is less than 3 feet from the entrance.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:51 PM on June 30, 2009
It's in a small pipe. Look at the distance markers, the first one is less than 3 feet from the entrance.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:51 PM on June 30, 2009
Relax. It's only the wild Cloaca Clitoris Maximus
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:55 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:55 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think an appropriate name for this cute widduw ting would be "Throbbing Gristle".
posted by not_on_display at 12:59 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 12:59 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's only the wild Cloaca Clitoris Maximus
Family: vagina dentatea?
posted by Pollomacho at 1:00 PM on June 30, 2009
Family: vagina dentatea?
posted by Pollomacho at 1:00 PM on June 30, 2009
Soooooooooooooooooooooo glad I looked at the comments prior to link. I am actually starting to get the hang of the internet.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 1:03 PM on June 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 1:03 PM on June 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
Funny that it's movement doesn't really jive with what I've read on the wikipedia page on Bryozoa, and other sources.
Ooooh, quick! Inform the specialist that he's not up to date with all the current, exact data on the fount of sciency knowledge that is wikipedia!
posted by splice at 1:11 PM on June 30, 2009
Ooooh, quick! Inform the specialist that he's not up to date with all the current, exact data on the fount of sciency knowledge that is wikipedia!
posted by splice at 1:11 PM on June 30, 2009
Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles?
Oh, goddamnit. Now I misread the kdvr link as saying "a green, slimy organism with testicles that seemed to be alive... the testicles seemed to be staying away from the water...".
posted by Hermione Dies at 1:15 PM on June 30, 2009
Oh, goddamnit. Now I misread the kdvr link as saying "a green, slimy organism with testicles that seemed to be alive... the testicles seemed to be staying away from the water...".
posted by Hermione Dies at 1:15 PM on June 30, 2009
Relax. It's only the wild Cloaca Clitoris Maximus
I thought that was this creature.
posted by vaghjar at 1:21 PM on June 30, 2009
I thought that was this creature.
posted by vaghjar at 1:21 PM on June 30, 2009
Ooooh, quick! Inform the specialist that he's not up to date with all the current, exact data on the fount of sciency knowledge that is wikipedia!
What I meant was, it's odd that something moving in such a weird and fantastic way isn't mentioned in the couple dozen pages I skimmed on Bryozoa, nor any of the videos I could find (all of which portray them as at best slow moving things). Things this cool, in my experience, generally have easy to find info on the net.
Btw, who shat in your lunch box? I'm just exploring the oddest thing I've seen in ages, not contradicting the expert or trying to play internet genius.
Sped up video seems the most likely explanation in my extremely humble opinion.
posted by MetaMonkey at 1:27 PM on June 30, 2009
What I meant was, it's odd that something moving in such a weird and fantastic way isn't mentioned in the couple dozen pages I skimmed on Bryozoa, nor any of the videos I could find (all of which portray them as at best slow moving things). Things this cool, in my experience, generally have easy to find info on the net.
Btw, who shat in your lunch box? I'm just exploring the oddest thing I've seen in ages, not contradicting the expert or trying to play internet genius.
Sped up video seems the most likely explanation in my extremely humble opinion.
posted by MetaMonkey at 1:27 PM on June 30, 2009
Soooooooooooooooooooooo glad I looked at the comments prior to link. I am actually starting to get the hang of the internet.
Yeah, me too. The fact that the comments themselves are squicking me out tells me there's no way in hell I need to watch this. I'm kind of proud of myself right now.
posted by bondcliff at 1:35 PM on June 30, 2009
Yeah, me too. The fact that the comments themselves are squicking me out tells me there's no way in hell I need to watch this. I'm kind of proud of myself right now.
posted by bondcliff at 1:35 PM on June 30, 2009
There is something about the surface of the second one that makes me think that it might be digitally manipulated; the way it slowly goes limp after its initial contraction just seems unreal. And the last one shown, as it pulls its outlying tendrils in, it just seems a bit unnatural.
That said, I've seen far weirder and less likely things among the corals in my wife's fish tanks, so if these turn out to be real, I wouldn't be completely shocked.
posted by quin at 1:36 PM on June 30, 2009
That said, I've seen far weirder and less likely things among the corals in my wife's fish tanks, so if these turn out to be real, I wouldn't be completely shocked.
posted by quin at 1:36 PM on June 30, 2009
6" CP = 6-inch diameter concrete pipe, so these things are very small. Probably about an inch. It's still an odd creature but they aren't going to kill you.
posted by JJ86 at 1:40 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by JJ86 at 1:40 PM on June 30, 2009
I Googled "Malphrus" (it appears in the text overlay in the video), and found this construction company. The site summary on the Google results page seems relevant:
"A residential development in which Malphrus constructed every phase, including clearing work, sanitary sewer, water, storm drainage, lake excavation..."
...but I can't find that text anywhere on the site, or anything else that explains what we're seeing in the video.
Curiously, no other sites link to malphrus.com, which does smell viral-ish.
However, there are other references to the company online, and their site has been around since 2002, so they would appear to be legit.
posted by ixohoxi at 1:41 PM on June 30, 2009
"A residential development in which Malphrus constructed every phase, including clearing work, sanitary sewer, water, storm drainage, lake excavation..."
...but I can't find that text anywhere on the site, or anything else that explains what we're seeing in the video.
Curiously, no other sites link to malphrus.com, which does smell viral-ish.
However, there are other references to the company online, and their site has been around since 2002, so they would appear to be legit.
posted by ixohoxi at 1:41 PM on June 30, 2009
I doubt it's a viral or altered. The video has been there a month with only 25,000 views.
posted by JJ86 at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by JJ86 at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2009
dammitjim: "The Howstuffworks blog has a video of some guys blowing them the hell up with guns, if that makes anybody feel better. They didn't defend themselves at all."
Rednecks shooting up slimy egg-thingies they found drifting in the swamp. Have those people never watched a single horror movie in their entire lives???
The only thing missing from this clip was "We should split up to search for more of those things, we can cover a greater area that way!"...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2009 [6 favorites]
Rednecks shooting up slimy egg-thingies they found drifting in the swamp. Have those people never watched a single horror movie in their entire lives???
The only thing missing from this clip was "We should split up to search for more of those things, we can cover a greater area that way!"...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2009 [6 favorites]
I thought that was this creature.
Holy shit! I want to know more about this. I'm sure its fake, but it was quite awesome!
posted by JonnyRotten at 1:46 PM on June 30, 2009
Holy shit! I want to know more about this. I'm sure its fake, but it was quite awesome!
posted by JonnyRotten at 1:46 PM on June 30, 2009
They just look like pulsing nests of slimy string that live in filth, why are you guys so sensitive? I call the second one "Fred," by the way.
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I keep waiting for a young Steve McQueen to show up. Not because it has anytime to do with the movie, but just because it would be, you know, cool.
posted by happyroach at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by happyroach at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2009
Have those people never watched a single horror movie in their entire lives???
I thought something similar; "Man, something is going to be pissed when it finds out what these guys did to its eggs..."
posted by quin at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2009
I thought something similar; "Man, something is going to be pissed when it finds out what these guys did to its eggs..."
posted by quin at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2009
Someone get Kurt Russell .......and tell him to bring the flame thrower.
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:58 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Liquidwolf at 1:58 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is literally fifteen minutes from my house. Now I have to plug all the drains in my house before I go to sleep tonight. Goddammit.
posted by EarBucket at 2:11 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by EarBucket at 2:11 PM on June 30, 2009
THE GALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:14 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:14 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
EarBucket: "This is literally fifteen minutes from my house. Now I have to plug all the drains in my house before I go to sleep tonight. Goddammit."
Yeah, right, it's probably not the light shining in that keeps them from coming up the drains.
No, no, plugging sounds like a good idea. Really...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:20 PM on June 30, 2009
Yeah, right, it's probably not the light shining in that keeps them from coming up the drains.
No, no, plugging sounds like a good idea. Really...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:20 PM on June 30, 2009
I gotta say, if any news organization could be paid off to show a viral ad as news, it'd be a local Fox affiliate.
posted by hifiparasol at 2:23 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by hifiparasol at 2:23 PM on June 30, 2009
Yeah. If anyone was curious, a meatball sub was a baaaad call.
posted by fnord at 2:35 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by fnord at 2:35 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
There's a mirror here, for the curious.
posted by EarBucket at 3:45 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by EarBucket at 3:45 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Ah, found the other link. Thanks.
Yeah, this is what sewer video looks like. I used to work with some civil engineers. One day I was walking by this guy's cube and a couple of em were in there watching the tape of sewer video. They said that every now and then a rat would scurry by. I watched for a little while, didn't see any rats.
Or any brain-eating slime molds.
posted by Xoebe at 3:48 PM on June 30, 2009
Yeah, this is what sewer video looks like. I used to work with some civil engineers. One day I was walking by this guy's cube and a couple of em were in there watching the tape of sewer video. They said that every now and then a rat would scurry by. I watched for a little while, didn't see any rats.
Or any brain-eating slime molds.
posted by Xoebe at 3:48 PM on June 30, 2009
What is with the public/private/public/private thing going on here? If this is supposed to be viral advertising, they're not very good at it.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 3:51 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 3:51 PM on June 30, 2009
I don't know, though, it doesnt' really look like worms to me, either.
posted by empath at 4:23 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by empath at 4:23 PM on June 30, 2009
Diet of WHAT???
posted by Artw at 5:37 PM on June 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Artw at 5:37 PM on June 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'm with empath. Those tubifex look a lot different.
posted by hifiparasol at 5:50 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by hifiparasol at 5:50 PM on June 30, 2009
I wasn't positive this was a viral until I saw the "rednecks with guns" bullshit sequence. That's a staged youtube video if ever I've seen one - from the ridiculous, stupid "background music" to the fake-ass accents.
I've posted videos of me shooting shit with guns to youtube and I never dubbed in some bullshit, whiny-ass nirvana soundtrack in the background. Bryozoa my ass - that wikipedia article is made up, too.
So stupid - "hee haw lookit the dumb hillbillies - they found an alien now they blowed it up man are they stupid because that's exactly what a southerner would do!"
No, I'll tell you what they'd do. First, they'd get a god damn haircut. Then they'd put their kids in the house - not have them running around in the yard while they blow up gummy melons - and they'd take photos of it, stick it in a cooler, and send the photos to Coast-to-Coast with George Noory so they could get on the radio and be famous.
This is dumb viral marketing for some dumb hollywood movie.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:52 PM on June 30, 2009
I've posted videos of me shooting shit with guns to youtube and I never dubbed in some bullshit, whiny-ass nirvana soundtrack in the background. Bryozoa my ass - that wikipedia article is made up, too.
So stupid - "hee haw lookit the dumb hillbillies - they found an alien now they blowed it up man are they stupid because that's exactly what a southerner would do!"
No, I'll tell you what they'd do. First, they'd get a god damn haircut. Then they'd put their kids in the house - not have them running around in the yard while they blow up gummy melons - and they'd take photos of it, stick it in a cooler, and send the photos to Coast-to-Coast with George Noory so they could get on the radio and be famous.
This is dumb viral marketing for some dumb hollywood movie.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:52 PM on June 30, 2009
Yeah, I first saw this on reddit and it's already effecting my sleep. But it seems virally calculated.
posted by loquacious at 6:35 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by loquacious at 6:35 PM on June 30, 2009
Calling this a viral video seems quite appropriate in all contexts.
posted by moonbird at 7:05 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by moonbird at 7:05 PM on June 30, 2009
Seems likely to me, though, that eventually something is going to discover and adapt to life in the sewer. A pulsating, filter-feeding, Cthulu-esque creature.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:15 PM on June 30, 2009
posted by five fresh fish at 7:15 PM on June 30, 2009
A working link with other related videos: No, these are not bryozoans! They are clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids (Naididae, probably genus Tubifex). Normally these occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting.
EWWW!
posted by nickyskye at 8:20 PM on June 30, 2009
EWWW!
posted by nickyskye at 8:20 PM on June 30, 2009
So... the monsters in the sewers are REAL?!
That is not okay.
posted by jimfl at 8:31 PM on June 30, 2009
That is not okay.
posted by jimfl at 8:31 PM on June 30, 2009
IT CAME FROM BENEATH
December 21st, 2012
Humanity is about to be flushed out.
After over a hundred years of modern plumbing humanity is about to suffer the consequences. Everything from goldfish and exotic aquatic animals to yogurt and last months soup to antibiotics and illicit drugs have been brewing underground.
Combined with the collective psychic energy of 20-40 years of post-apocalyptic fantasy from The Blob to the Doom video games to Half Life there has been a collective fear of gooey, blooby things that want to eat your face off.
Our collective fears have been manifest, something lurks beneath and it's not hemorrhoids or giant sewer rats that pop out of your toilet at night to nibble on your pasta.
Don't flush after dark. Don't read on the shitter. Their tentacles are reaching for the soft, pink folds of your rectum even as you read this shitty movie synopsis. And for the love of all that is good and pure stop eating so much fucking fat and sugar! Those loose, nutritious stools may be our doom! Remember! Loose, sinking shits sink townships!
Report any toilet-oriented tentacle manifestations to your local authorities by burning down your house and running screaming through the streets while clutching your hands over backside and the mutant alien pulsing goopy thing currently eating out your intestines from the inside out.
Shop as usual and avoid panic buying.
posted by loquacious at 8:56 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
December 21st, 2012
Humanity is about to be flushed out.
After over a hundred years of modern plumbing humanity is about to suffer the consequences. Everything from goldfish and exotic aquatic animals to yogurt and last months soup to antibiotics and illicit drugs have been brewing underground.
Combined with the collective psychic energy of 20-40 years of post-apocalyptic fantasy from The Blob to the Doom video games to Half Life there has been a collective fear of gooey, blooby things that want to eat your face off.
Our collective fears have been manifest, something lurks beneath and it's not hemorrhoids or giant sewer rats that pop out of your toilet at night to nibble on your pasta.
Don't flush after dark. Don't read on the shitter. Their tentacles are reaching for the soft, pink folds of your rectum even as you read this shitty movie synopsis. And for the love of all that is good and pure stop eating so much fucking fat and sugar! Those loose, nutritious stools may be our doom! Remember! Loose, sinking shits sink townships!
Report any toilet-oriented tentacle manifestations to your local authorities by burning down your house and running screaming through the streets while clutching your hands over backside and the mutant alien pulsing goopy thing currently eating out your intestines from the inside out.
Shop as usual and avoid panic buying.
posted by loquacious at 8:56 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Looks exactly like the clumps of live tubifex worms that would collect in the rocks of my aquarium. (I had a tendency to overfeed.)
Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles?
Glad you specified a man's testicles.
posted by Fezzik's Underwear at 9:20 PM on June 30, 2009
Has anyone else noticed that the movement is like what happens if you tickle a man's testicles?
Glad you specified a man's testicles.
posted by Fezzik's Underwear at 9:20 PM on June 30, 2009
It's still an odd creature but they aren't going to kill you.
Sure, not one or two of them. But as they start to grow in number and commune with each other (using some primitive form of telepathy) they will gather... and then, my friends, the storm will come...
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:51 PM on June 30, 2009
Sure, not one or two of them. But as they start to grow in number and commune with each other (using some primitive form of telepathy) they will gather... and then, my friends, the storm will come...
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:51 PM on June 30, 2009
hrm... if it's a viral -- Starcraft II? maybe? They look vaguely like zerglings.
posted by empath at 12:28 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 12:28 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm sure we found the exception to Rule # 34. Congrats Metafilter!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:20 AM on July 1, 2009
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:20 AM on July 1, 2009
I'm sure we found the exception to Rule # 34.
Are you crazy? The entire Internet is a series of Tubifex porn sites.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:13 AM on July 1, 2009
Are you crazy? The entire Internet is a series of Tubifex porn sites.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:13 AM on July 1, 2009
Did they flush them down the toilet, or what?
posted by jordanlewis at 3:03 PM on July 1, 2009
posted by jordanlewis at 3:03 PM on July 1, 2009
Well of course they'd say that! The alien scrotal brain squids have obviously gotten to them!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:42 PM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:42 PM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Trust no one! Measure once, flush twice!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:43 PM on July 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:43 PM on July 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
What an ignorant bunch of bigoted slimephobes. I expected better from Mefi.
posted by Hovercraft Eel at 5:39 AM on July 2, 2009
posted by Hovercraft Eel at 5:39 AM on July 2, 2009
What gives me the fake vibe is that the pacing is too good. The robot moves at what appears to be a fast clip down the tunnel, and despite being right next to them doesn't spook the Things until the everything is in focus
My guess is that the heat from the lamp is what's triggering the worms to contract.
posted by samsara at 8:12 AM on July 2, 2009
My guess is that the heat from the lamp is what's triggering the worms to contract.
Contract? They are just getting poised to pounce sensing the heat of the lamp as the warmth of a mammalian body.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:11 PM on July 2, 2009
Contract? They are just getting poised to pounce sensing the heat of the lamp as the warmth of a mammalian body.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:11 PM on July 2, 2009
Hͫ̓̓̌ͮ̓ͤ̉̏̏̿̚e̓ͬ̇̀̓͂ͬͤ ̂ͦ̓̾ͣ͆̊͒̉̈́̔̾ͭ̆̉̐̌ͪW̒̔̋ͬ́̑ͮ́ͮ̋̏̃̅͗̋̎ͥ͆̍h̅́̆̎͗̉̃ͫ̎̃̈́̅̆oͥ̇̈̌̅̏ͧ̎͌̄ͬͪͨ̐͂̐͂ ̈́̂͛ͨ̒͛ͫ͋W̅̒̂̉ͩ́ȧ̾̆ͩ̅͐̒i͆ͩͧ͌́ͤ̆̚t̾ͨ̌͂ͥ̉ͫ̈̃͂̍̔̐ͥsͯ̋͋̀͒͒̇ͦ͋̓͑̑̂ͪ͆ͦͩ ̂͆ͮ̏͌ͬ̏̐̓͂̏́͋̽ͮͭͬͬUͪ̿̎͛͊ͤ̒̎͗͗ͣ͊̚nͯ̈́̆̊ͯ͒̃̑͂ͧ̈́̉ͯ̔͂̉̈́d͛̈ͥ̔̈́̈̓ͬͦ͌ͣ̐͊̀͗͑̾eͫ̽̍̾͐ͬ͊̐̚ṙͫ̅̊̃ͥ̐́̽̏ͥ ͨͤͭ̈́͊̇̎̑ͫ̾T̏͑ͬ̄͆͊̽ͫͨ̀ͧ̒̆ͥ̉̎h̑̇ͧͬ͊͑̉ͬ̍̿̽̎̏̚ë́̉̍̏ ̎ͮ̈́͛̓̃̃ͭ̈̓͐T̔̔͂ͯ͊ͨͬ̎͋ͦͯ̈́̔̑́̎ͬͯ̚o̓̍͌͒̿͒̒͋ͪ̎ͯͣ͛͋̔̑̾̓̋iͧ͗ͭ̈́̉̆̍̈́̚lͭͦͮ͒̚ė͊͋͐̅ͯ͒͂ͫ̊ͥ̍̄ͫ̿t̃̒̀̈̒̒̓̅͒̅̆̀ͮ̄̄̊ͣͨ̚ ͯͦ͋ͨ͛̄L̅́͋ͫ̎ͪ̍ͩ̏̅ͧ́ͨiͦͧ̋͗͒͐̉͒̈́ͦ̚ḋ̈́ͯ̈́̓ͩ̋̐ͤ̿ͤͯ̐̈̋
posted by Artw at 1:45 PM on July 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 1:45 PM on July 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
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posted by debbie_ann at 11:43 AM on June 30, 2009