Rap Feud Resolved
July 3, 2009 12:57 AM   Subscribe

In February of 2009, a Canadian teen cut a scathing diss track from the depths of his Batman-and-South-Park bedecked crib calling out 50 Cent for his lack of streed cred. Not one to take a callout lightly, Fiddy has responded. (via gawker)
posted by skammer (49 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
So... awkward... gah!
posted by Decimask at 1:09 AM on July 3, 2009


That's really kind of wonderful. Imagine how much better a place the world would be if every thug was assigned nasally, shrewish, moralizing sidekick to keep them in check.
posted by Graygorey at 1:12 AM on July 3, 2009 [16 favorites]


Does this mean that 50 Cent is actually cool? Or at least self-aware in a way that many other celebrities simply aren't?
posted by thecjm at 1:15 AM on July 3, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm choosing to imagine that, before he flew back to Canada, Pruane2Forever and Fifty Cent went out to get the kid's braces blinged up.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:23 AM on July 3, 2009 [5 favorites]


I'm gonna be so sad when it comes out that this kid is really 35 and just has some sort of glandular problem.
posted by klangklangston at 1:27 AM on July 3, 2009 [5 favorites]


If this is not some type of viral marketing crap, then it's pretty sweet.
posted by rdr at 1:45 AM on July 3, 2009


I'm sure this is real!

But then, I do have a lot of street credulity.
posted by aubilenon at 1:54 AM on July 3, 2009 [26 favorites]


Goodness, Canadian teens these days, dissing the rap stars. They used to be so polite.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:03 AM on July 3, 2009 [4 favorites]


This Pruane is a media whore sellout. No, wait....
posted by bugmuncher at 2:07 AM on July 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's so awkward I can't even look.
posted by GuyZero at 2:18 AM on July 3, 2009


where's the footage of 50 calmly explaining his motivation for making a 50-shaped dildo and Pruane2Forever totally getting it?
posted by mexican at 2:53 AM on July 3, 2009 [2 favorites]


Iiie! How uncomfortable is that to watch!
posted by Glee at 2:53 AM on July 3, 2009


Wow, 50 cent has really good teeth.

I hope the kids learned something, like that marketing is about selling shit and "street cred" is a specious term on a good day that in the context of rap is pretty much exclusively about marketing.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:06 AM on July 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


fiddy cent x 200 million suckers = good business model!
posted by markkraft at 3:51 AM on July 3, 2009


Hearing that nasal whine saying "Just kickin it old school, bitches..." is kinda um... yeah.

Clearly, this is like a modern day version of a John Hughes movie.

That kid's going to party with Fiddy and wind up with a hot black girlfriend / former porno actress. Maybe she can move into his parent's basement or something...
posted by markkraft at 4:04 AM on July 3, 2009




That kid is so awesome. He's like an anthropomorphization of the primal force of geekness.
posted by XMLicious at 4:34 AM on July 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


The Jawsus remix!
posted by markkraft at 5:04 AM on July 3, 2009


Encyclopedia Dramatica article (very NSFW). All of ED is very NSFW. Hell, it's not safe for humanity.
posted by ixohoxi at 5:36 AM on July 3, 2009


In the end, you are exactly--what you are.
Put on a wig with a million curls,
put the highest heeled boots on your feet,
yet you remain in the end just what you are.

posted by nola at 5:39 AM on July 3, 2009


I get the feeling 50 Cent is making amends to some deity or another for having beaten the shit out of about a dozen kids who looked just like that in grade school.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:43 AM on July 3, 2009


I got as far as the second hello and felt too awkward to continue.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 6:15 AM on July 3, 2009


In other news, Jay-Z stumbled across a youtube video in which a forty-seven year old West Virginia housewife calls him out for dropping "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" in his new track: "Death of Autotune".

She remains in protective custody at this hour.
posted by felix betachat at 6:41 AM on July 3, 2009


Apparently Fiddy's not that bad. Here's an interview with an English VJ/cover girl that mentions him. Scroll down to where they ask her about "50 Pence".
posted by atchafalaya at 6:52 AM on July 3, 2009


What's the Madd Rapper doing these days?
posted by box at 7:39 AM on July 3, 2009


atchafalaya, since she also mentions the UK comedy rap group Goldie Lookin Chain, are you sure Maxim wasn't actually referring to UK comedy rapper 50 Pence?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:41 AM on July 3, 2009


What are the odds? I did a post on this kid last year [self link].

Good on ya, Sexman!
posted by stinkycheese at 8:50 AM on July 3, 2009


That's really kind of wonderful. Imagine how much better a place the world would be if every thug was assigned nasally, shrewish, moralizing sidekick to keep them in check.

Put them in tight fitting duds, with capes ... and I can see them fighting crime together. Except I don't believe in superheroes.
posted by philip-random at 8:57 AM on July 3, 2009


His thoughts on Bill O'Reilly: "He really is just a prick."

I like this kid!
posted by Houstonian at 9:13 AM on July 3, 2009


All the idiots on Youtube think Prutane did the 50Cent NYC video first and *then* went home and did his slam.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:20 AM on July 3, 2009


where's the footage of 50 calmly strapping on a 50-shaped dildo and Pruane2Forever totally getting it?

Fixed that for you.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:54 AM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Wow, 50 cent has really good teeth."

If I had his money, so would I. Implants are expensive, but not so much when you have that kind of money.
posted by krinklyfig at 10:20 AM on July 3, 2009


My feeling is that fiddy totally played this kid and made a fool of him. One day, the kid is berating 50 cent for being a sellout. The next day, the boy is in his crib, shouting the name of his crew, and otherwise totally co-opted. Probably, all fiddy had to do was send the kid some tickets, and he turned him out the next day. I'm pretty much an anti-fan of 50 cent and g-unit, but he's always come across to me as pretty intelligent when I hear him speak, and his marketing/PR is top notch.
posted by Edgewise at 10:44 AM on July 3, 2009 [4 favorites]


Man, that kid totally sold out.
posted by electroboy at 11:22 AM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh God he's the "pimply teen" who works at every fast food or other shitty job on the Simpsons come to life. ("'at's a funny name! I'd'a called 'em Chuzzwuzzers!")

Also, when I read "diss track" I kept waiting for him to start rapping. I don't know if you can call a monologue a "track" really.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:24 AM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


50 Cent is a terrible, terrible rapper. He's really bad at what he does. But this (the 2nd video) is the first thing I've ever seen that made me like him a bit. Like Edgewise said, he made a really smart PR move and comes off like a nice guy with a sense of humor. Eminem probably would have gone to the kid's house and shot paintballs at him, but then Eminem was also a good rapper at one point.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:27 AM on July 3, 2009 [2 favorites]


It would have been so easy to cut the kid down; I actually kinda like him after seeing that.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:12 PM on July 3, 2009


where's the footage of 50 calmly explaining his motivation for making a 50-shaped dildo and Pruane2Forever totally getting it?

Actually, now that he has street-cred, Canadian women can buy the new Pruane2Forever dildo and line of condoms so they can feel closer to him.
posted by Hylas at 12:31 PM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


My feeling is that fiddy totally played this kid and made a fool of him. One day, the kid is berating 50 cent for being a sellout. The next day, the boy is in his crib, shouting the name of his crew, and otherwise totally co-opted.


This is correct.
posted by nola at 12:58 PM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


Michael Jackson offered to step in and settle the 50 Cent/The Game beef

Can you imagine? I'm picturing something like in the Beat It video, where he puts a hand on each of their shoulders and tells them that it doesn't matter who's wrong or right...
posted by First Post at 1:14 PM on July 3, 2009


If I weren't lazy, I would make a compendium starting with How To Rob, when 50 made fun of WuTang, and then chronicling all the times Ghostface came back and told 50 to shove it. A special feature would be the song "who the fuck is 50 cent?" which entirely revolves around the premise of daring 50 to actually make another record mentioning the Wu, which he had done twice at that point. It would also link to the interviews Ghost did, years later, when 50cent was actually a known name, and people wondered about this old but seeming unresolved conflict, where Ghost said "yeah, I saw him the other day, actually, I asked him 'what's up' but he didn't say nothin, so I guess that's it right there." Then I would show you the dozen times since then Ghost has felt like poking fun at 50, including my personal favorite, when Cappadonna (on a Ghostface project album) said he would take us on a trip "to a nice little place where fifty got rich / far, far away from the drug dealing shit." Both Clyde Smith tracks would, obviously, be mentioned as well. I am too lazy to provide all the appropriate links, though, so [citation needed] I guess.

The notion that 50cent ever had street cred to sell out is, frankly, a sign that you already drank the Kool-Aid.
posted by paisley henosis at 1:15 PM on July 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


50 and that kid have uncannily similar faces.
posted by ignignokt at 4:10 PM on July 3, 2009


If you make that post, or even a really great comment, power allah henosis, I'll buy you the Wu-Tang-themed sockpuppet of your choice. That's real talk, son.
posted by box at 4:16 PM on July 3, 2009


50 Cent is a terrible, terrible rapper. He's really bad at what he does

I've been of the same opinion for a long time, and find him emblematic of the current trend of rappers sounding bored, like they'd rather be anywhere else than on the mic--maybe taking a nap or something.

Then a friend of mine played me the song that made him get noticed though, and it wasn't bad--pretty funny and kind of ballsy, I thought. So I figure he CAN do it, but like someone above said, hip hop's all about marketing.
posted by Hoopo at 6:23 PM on July 3, 2009


box: If you make that post, or even a really great comment, power allah henosis, I'll buy you the Wu-Tang-themed sockpuppet of your choice. That's real talk, son.

Well, my wife is out of town for the weekend, and I do have a fridge full of craft brew… Tomorrow I'll see if I can find an easy way to tack a photo onto an mp3 in OSX, and if I can, I could upload all the tracks to YouTube…it would be fun, that's for sure.

Hoopo:
Then a friend of mine played me the song that made him get noticed though, and it wasn't bad--pretty funny and kind of ballsy, I thought. So I figure he CAN do it, but like someone above said, hip hop's all about marketing.


I don't know, honestly it just sounds like a gimmick rap, read by some guy who happened to be there at the time. But that might just be me.

From Bklyn: Wow, 50 cent has really good teeth.

That's nothing, you should see Method Man.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:01 PM on July 3, 2009


This kid is a shoe in the the Herbert Kornfeld biopic I'm directing in my head.

And to all my homies in Accountz Reeceevable and the bruthahs kickin' it down in Shipping, keep ya heads up. Peace!
posted by Telf at 9:57 PM on July 3, 2009


OH MY GOD IT'S THAT KID.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:08 PM on July 3, 2009


Does 50 Cent use eyeliner?

I can't believe I'm asking something so trivial and pointless about someone whose music/marketing I couldn't care less about, but I've always wondered about that.
posted by Devils Slide at 1:53 AM on July 4, 2009


For some reason, that question reminds me of this Greg Tate thing where he says Fifty looks like a 'homo-thug dyke.'

And, what the hell, the Zero Punctuation and AV Club reviews of the 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand video game.
posted by box at 7:41 AM on July 4, 2009


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