Is That a Guitar In Your Hand Or Are You Just Here to BLOW SOME SHIT UP
July 17, 2009 10:15 AM Subscribe
Want a new guitar, but don't want a boring ole Fender or Gibson? Then Johnson Guitars U.S.A may be the guitar maker for you. Keep your audiences wondering if you're here to rock out or gun them all down, sacrifice them to Apophis, feed them to a shark (or dragon), or simply take off into the stratosphere fueled by the power of your rock.
Screw that tele at my local guitar shop that I've had my eye on - I'm saving up for a fuckin' HAMMERHEAD SHARK GUITAR!
posted by threetoed at 10:26 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by threetoed at 10:26 AM on July 17, 2009
Fuck yeah.
posted by The Straightener at 10:27 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by The Straightener at 10:27 AM on July 17, 2009
Is it bad that I think Wes Montgomery playing an archtop Gibson looks ten times more badass than anyone I could imagine playing an assault rifle guitar?
posted by Mali at 10:32 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by Mali at 10:32 AM on July 17, 2009
There's too much awesome there. I need to lay down.
posted by fatbird at 10:33 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by fatbird at 10:33 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
My buddy has a really nice Johnson Guitar. It is put together like a comparable Gibson or Martin, but it only cost $600 instead of $2000.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:33 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by Ironmouth at 10:33 AM on July 17, 2009
When I think about what I want a guitar to say about me, I think "I didn't bring enough hands" is always a daring choice.
posted by quin at 10:42 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by quin at 10:42 AM on July 17, 2009
These are crazy awesome. Especially the Egyptian ones.
posted by spitefulcrow at 10:45 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by spitefulcrow at 10:45 AM on July 17, 2009
I now have the sudden urge to start a 14 member twee-pop/folk band that features a drummer and 13 guitarists playing Johnson guitars. The guitar breakdown will be as follows: 4 great white, 4 hammerhead, 4 dragon, and 1 machine gun. We will then crash the upcoming local folk festival, and whoever gets stuck playing the machine gun guitar will be obligated to get into a drunken, drug-fueled, onstage fist fight with Colin Meloy.
Now if you will all excuse me, I need to make some calls.
posted by threetoed at 10:46 AM on July 17, 2009
Now if you will all excuse me, I need to make some calls.
posted by threetoed at 10:46 AM on July 17, 2009
Oh my. It's my 9th grade notebook come to life.
There's also a Chinese company that makes surprisingly good knockoffs of American guitars using the Johnson name. Hence the 'USA' I imagine.
posted by aquanaut at 10:53 AM on July 17, 2009
There's also a Chinese company that makes surprisingly good knockoffs of American guitars using the Johnson name. Hence the 'USA' I imagine.
posted by aquanaut at 10:53 AM on July 17, 2009
I wouldn't mind getting the Tommy gun one. It screams class.
posted by prufrock at 10:56 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by prufrock at 10:56 AM on July 17, 2009
That last one is so badass the Internet turned its eyes away from it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:05 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:05 AM on July 17, 2009
Your favorite gun guitar positively sucks without a whammy bar.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:06 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:06 AM on July 17, 2009
Nothing wrong with a good custom guitar, but anyone who's really bored with a Strat has something broken inside of them.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:59 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:59 PM on July 17, 2009
Ummmmm...
(raises hand bashfully)
Is it wrong to ask why no one wonders what they sound like?
posted by Samizdata at 3:20 PM on July 17, 2009
(raises hand bashfully)
Is it wrong to ask why no one wonders what they sound like?
posted by Samizdata at 3:20 PM on July 17, 2009
My first guitar, and my most recent purchase, were both Johnsons.
posted by MrMoonPie at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by MrMoonPie at 4:34 PM on July 17, 2009
Sort of totally gay and totally rad at the same time.
GRAD!
posted by bardic at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2009
GRAD!
posted by bardic at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2009
They're all just so ugly.
posted by The Monkey at 10:53 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by The Monkey at 10:53 PM on July 17, 2009
This Aryan Jesus (from j.effingham.bellweather's link) looks like he's on meth or something.
posted by metagnathous at 2:42 PM on July 18, 2009
posted by metagnathous at 2:42 PM on July 18, 2009
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posted by The Whelk at 10:20 AM on July 17, 2009