Heartwarming Bathroom Graffiti
July 30, 2009 11:15 AM Subscribe
Sometimes, bathroom graffiti can make you do more than grin/grimace. A short round-up of some of the more moving and/or thought-provoking bits of bathroom graffiti out there.
I want all of these to be read out loud by Christopher Walken.
posted by Dumsnill at 11:23 AM on July 30, 2009
posted by Dumsnill at 11:23 AM on July 30, 2009
From the comments:
'“I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”'
posted by applemeat at 11:28 AM on July 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
'“I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”'
posted by applemeat at 11:28 AM on July 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
'“I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”'
Boy howdy first time I heard that one I laughed so dang hard I like to fell off my dinosaur.
posted by dersins at 11:30 AM on July 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
Boy howdy first time I heard that one I laughed so dang hard I like to fell off my dinosaur.
posted by dersins at 11:30 AM on July 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
Brown University hosts a ton of bathroom graffiti. The bathrooms in the libraries are especially full of gems. They paint over them at least once a semester, but they fill up again very rapidly. This guy did an entire installation about it.
Bathroom grafitti was even the source of a big scandal in the 90s: "Under most circumstances, bathroom graffiti is an ubiquitous, harmless fact of life. But in 1991, scribblings on the Rockefeller Library's bathroom doors ignited a campus-wide controversy that would revolutionize the University's sexual harassment policy - or lack of one."
posted by lunit at 11:31 AM on July 30, 2009
Bathroom grafitti was even the source of a big scandal in the 90s: "Under most circumstances, bathroom graffiti is an ubiquitous, harmless fact of life. But in 1991, scribblings on the Rockefeller Library's bathroom doors ignited a campus-wide controversy that would revolutionize the University's sexual harassment policy - or lack of one."
posted by lunit at 11:31 AM on July 30, 2009
In the physics building on campus one of the stalls has pi written out to ~200 places. I always thought of that as the pinnacle of bathroom grafitti.
posted by internet!Hannah at 11:33 AM on July 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by internet!Hannah at 11:33 AM on July 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
From the comments:
'“I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”'
Previous grins and grimaces.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2009
'“I fucked your mom,” under which someone had written “Go home, dad. You're drunk.”'
Previous grins and grimaces.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:34 AM on July 30, 2009
one of the original women who advocated for the policy overhaul, along with Jesselyn Brown-Radack '92,
Whoa, is that the same Jesselyn Radack??
posted by DU at 11:35 AM on July 30, 2009
Whoa, is that the same Jesselyn Radack??
posted by DU at 11:35 AM on July 30, 2009
one of the stalls has pi written out to ~200 places. I always thought of that as the pinnacle of bathroom grafitti.
Or of constipation.
posted by applemeat at 11:35 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Or of constipation.
posted by applemeat at 11:35 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Here's a bit of washroom wisdom I came across one day at Barnes & Noble.
posted by PunkSoTawny at 11:38 AM on July 30, 2009
posted by PunkSoTawny at 11:38 AM on July 30, 2009
My favorites from a coffee house back in the dark ages (70's):
This triptych, each in a different hand:
Time is money
Money talks
Talk is cheap
And this gem, shortly after The Lord of the Rings enjoyed one of its revivals, and Scientology types were everywhere trying to us "personality tests":
"The Science of the Modern Elf"
By Elrond Cubbard
posted by dbmcd at 11:40 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
This triptych, each in a different hand:
Time is money
Money talks
Talk is cheap
And this gem, shortly after The Lord of the Rings enjoyed one of its revivals, and Scientology types were everywhere trying to us "personality tests":
"The Science of the Modern Elf"
By Elrond Cubbard
posted by dbmcd at 11:40 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Warning: highly specific construction humor -
My dad builds houses. When I was 12 or so, my brother and I would occasionally visit his jobsites. Once while using one of the portapotties, I saw a neatly written graffito:
"If you can read this, you're smarter than the average framer."
I still wonder who wrote it. An electrician? One of the building inspectors?
posted by peep at 11:40 AM on July 30, 2009
My dad builds houses. When I was 12 or so, my brother and I would occasionally visit his jobsites. Once while using one of the portapotties, I saw a neatly written graffito:
"If you can read this, you're smarter than the average framer."
I still wonder who wrote it. An electrician? One of the building inspectors?
posted by peep at 11:40 AM on July 30, 2009
To this day, I wish I'd snapped a photo of the wall over the second stall in the men's room of a bar on Boylston Street, where a distinctly feminine hand had carefully lettered the most profound bit of graffiti I've yet seen:
Toy Story 2 was OK
posted by Mayor West at 11:41 AM on July 30, 2009
Toy Story 2 was OK
posted by Mayor West at 11:41 AM on July 30, 2009
Related: my favorite bathroom signage was:
"Please don't put paper towels in the toilet. IT MAKES NO SENSE!"
posted by snofoam at 11:45 AM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
"Please don't put paper towels in the toilet. IT MAKES NO SENSE!"
posted by snofoam at 11:45 AM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
In the 2006 breakout-comedy album, "These Are Jokes" by Demetri Martin, the New York brainiac and comedy maven has a great joke about graffiti:Source.
"Graffiti's the most passionate literature there is, you know? It's always like 'Bush sucks!' … 'U2 Rocks!' … I want to make indifferent graffiti. 'Toy Story 2 was okay!' … 'I like Sheryl as a friend, but I'm not sure about taking things further' … 'This is a bridge!'
In a rare meta-form of tribute, some diehard fans around the U.S. have taken to scrawling "Toy Story 2 was okay" on bathroom stalls, park benches and reservoir walls.
posted by yoink at 11:48 AM on July 30, 2009 [10 favorites]
I'll Be Right Back - Godot
That's remarkably clever bathroom grafitti. The other stuff was ok, but this was the best.
posted by scrutiny at 11:49 AM on July 30, 2009
That's remarkably clever bathroom grafitti. The other stuff was ok, but this was the best.
posted by scrutiny at 11:49 AM on July 30, 2009
Five graffiti stories:
1. In a women's room at a movie theater, in a very large and angry hand, someone had written "Women are NOT life support systems for cunts!" I wonder what precipiated that.
2. In a women's room in an NYU building, we had the following exchange in one stall.
"My boyfriend wants to try anal -- can anyone tell me what it feels like?"
"...have you ever tried to shit backwards?"
3. In a women's room at a college campus in Ireland, I saw that one stall had been completely given over to a sort of "AskMe" bulletin board where women who were smitten with men on campus could ask if anyone knew them, and other women could respond with advice, warnings, encouragement, or "he's MY man, you bint, hands off!"
4. One stall in the ladies' room at a bar I frequent has a multi-part exchange between five or six different people about the bar's use of pink-colored toilet paper. Half the comments are from people who bewail its use, because "dyes in colored toilet paper hurts the environment" and the other half are filled with accusations of "yuppie" "hipster" and snarky, sarcastic comebacks.
The irony is, I've been going to this place for about a year now and in all that time the toilet paper has always been just plain white.
5. Stephen King wrote a poignant short story called "All That You Love Will Be Carried Away" about a suicidal traveling salesman who'd had a hobby of collecting examples of bathroom grafitti of rest stops, recording them in a little book. At some point in the story, arguably, his little book saves his life. We think.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
1. In a women's room at a movie theater, in a very large and angry hand, someone had written "Women are NOT life support systems for cunts!" I wonder what precipiated that.
2. In a women's room in an NYU building, we had the following exchange in one stall.
"My boyfriend wants to try anal -- can anyone tell me what it feels like?"
"...have you ever tried to shit backwards?"
3. In a women's room at a college campus in Ireland, I saw that one stall had been completely given over to a sort of "AskMe" bulletin board where women who were smitten with men on campus could ask if anyone knew them, and other women could respond with advice, warnings, encouragement, or "he's MY man, you bint, hands off!"
4. One stall in the ladies' room at a bar I frequent has a multi-part exchange between five or six different people about the bar's use of pink-colored toilet paper. Half the comments are from people who bewail its use, because "dyes in colored toilet paper hurts the environment" and the other half are filled with accusations of "yuppie" "hipster" and snarky, sarcastic comebacks.
The irony is, I've been going to this place for about a year now and in all that time the toilet paper has always been just plain white.
5. Stephen King wrote a poignant short story called "All That You Love Will Be Carried Away" about a suicidal traveling salesman who'd had a hobby of collecting examples of bathroom grafitti of rest stops, recording them in a little book. At some point in the story, arguably, his little book saves his life. We think.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2009 [5 favorites]
In the 2006 breakout-comedy album, "These Are Jokes" by Demetri Martin, the New York brainiac and comedy maven has a great joke about graffiti:
"Graffiti's the most passionate literature there is, you know? It's always like 'Bush sucks!' … 'U2 Rocks!' … I want to make indifferent graffiti. 'Toy Story 2 was okay!' … 'I like Sheryl as a friend, but I'm not sure about taking things further' … 'This is a bridge!'
In a rare meta-form of tribute, some diehard fans around the U.S. have taken to scrawling "Toy Story 2 was okay" on bathroom stalls, park benches and reservoir walls.
As much as I love Demetri, I think Matt Groenig predates this. There was a long-ago, Google-can't-find-it edition of "Life in Hell," in which Bongo was writing on a wall filled with graffiti. All of the other things written on the wall are superlatives - so-and-so is awesome, etc. - while Bongo meekly writes "Bongo is somewhat nifty."
posted by jbickers at 11:54 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Graffiti's the most passionate literature there is, you know? It's always like 'Bush sucks!' … 'U2 Rocks!' … I want to make indifferent graffiti. 'Toy Story 2 was okay!' … 'I like Sheryl as a friend, but I'm not sure about taking things further' … 'This is a bridge!'
In a rare meta-form of tribute, some diehard fans around the U.S. have taken to scrawling "Toy Story 2 was okay" on bathroom stalls, park benches and reservoir walls.
As much as I love Demetri, I think Matt Groenig predates this. There was a long-ago, Google-can't-find-it edition of "Life in Hell," in which Bongo was writing on a wall filled with graffiti. All of the other things written on the wall are superlatives - so-and-so is awesome, etc. - while Bongo meekly writes "Bongo is somewhat nifty."
posted by jbickers at 11:54 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
When I was 15, I was in Upward Bound - and got to spend the summer living in the college dorms. I was well acquainted with bathroom graffiti, but the academic setting took the form to a whole new level for me. I spent a large amount of time looking for new bathrooms to read the graffiti in.
One of my early favorites was written in very small print at the bottom of the door. It said "I now have you shitting at a 45 degree angle. Imagine what I could do if I tried." I thought it was hilarious at the time for some reason, though it seems less funny now. I was a weird kid.
There were some thematic ones as well - in the grout of one the stalls were all sorts of grout puns - "Grout balls of fire" and "The Grout escape", or "Oscar the grout".
Toy story 2 was not OK, however.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:57 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
One of my early favorites was written in very small print at the bottom of the door. It said "I now have you shitting at a 45 degree angle. Imagine what I could do if I tried." I thought it was hilarious at the time for some reason, though it seems less funny now. I was a weird kid.
There were some thematic ones as well - in the grout of one the stalls were all sorts of grout puns - "Grout balls of fire" and "The Grout escape", or "Oscar the grout".
Toy story 2 was not OK, however.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:57 AM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I once wrote this on a bathroom wall in one of the Mizzou CS buildings :
"Yo momma's so stupid, she couldn't pass a Turing test"
posted by Afroblanco at 12:01 PM on July 30, 2009
"Yo momma's so stupid, she couldn't pass a Turing test"
posted by Afroblanco at 12:01 PM on July 30, 2009
Sad music-school graffiti from Boston in the late '80s: "Liszt piszt here and miszt."
posted by mothershock at 12:10 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mothershock at 12:10 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I once read a article about grafitti found in womens rooms.
'I've lost my viginity'
'Thats ok, as long as you have the box it came in'
Still makes me laugh.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:10 PM on July 30, 2009 [7 favorites]
'I've lost my viginity'
'Thats ok, as long as you have the box it came in'
Still makes me laugh.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:10 PM on July 30, 2009 [7 favorites]
In the old Talayna's pizza joint in St. Louis, the toilets were downstairs. One night I ate too much pizza, so I had to um, sit instead of stand. At the far end of the stall, written sideways and tiny, so you had to lean forward and crane your neck to read it, someone had written:
"You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle."
posted by notsnot at 12:12 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
"You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle."
posted by notsnot at 12:12 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Mildly amusing biology-department graffiti from last week...
posted by Jimbob at 12:19 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by Jimbob at 12:19 PM on July 30, 2009
Graffiti in the Regenstein Library at the University of Chicago, from the LA Times.
I don't know how I'd get through some long nights of studying without being able to take a 10-15 minute break to walk through the library and browse, or sit at my favorite cubicle and make a contribution.
Pogo_Fuzzybutt, were you at the University of Chicago for your program? Because I'm definitely fond of the grout puns and they are mentioned in the above link.
posted by notswedish at 12:21 PM on July 30, 2009
I don't know how I'd get through some long nights of studying without being able to take a 10-15 minute break to walk through the library and browse, or sit at my favorite cubicle and make a contribution.
Pogo_Fuzzybutt, were you at the University of Chicago for your program? Because I'm definitely fond of the grout puns and they are mentioned in the above link.
posted by notswedish at 12:21 PM on July 30, 2009
My least favorite graffiti.
Samll box with the caption:
Place all boogers here
It's invariably caked up with them
nasty weirdos
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:23 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Samll box with the caption:
Place all boogers here
It's invariably caked up with them
nasty weirdos
posted by Confess, Fletch at 12:23 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Many, many years ago, I was in one of the men's bathrooms in the sciences building at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, and over the urinals I found the best graffiti I've ever seen:
It was a set of neatly-written equations describing the flow of a liquid through a pipe. Immediately below it, in a different hand, was an arrow pointing to one section with the notation "You neglected laminar flow here", followed by another set of equations.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:27 PM on July 30, 2009
It was a set of neatly-written equations describing the flow of a liquid through a pipe. Immediately below it, in a different hand, was an arrow pointing to one section with the notation "You neglected laminar flow here", followed by another set of equations.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:27 PM on July 30, 2009
i miss the rambling multi-conversations in the library stalls that would get increasingly more deranged as the year went on (went to reed)
but my favorite graffito in the whole wide world was in the bathroom of beth's:
DON'T DROP ACID
TAKE IT PASS / FAIL
posted by beefetish at 12:31 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
but my favorite graffito in the whole wide world was in the bathroom of beth's:
DON'T DROP ACID
TAKE IT PASS / FAIL
posted by beefetish at 12:31 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.
Rush Lyrics in a bar in Iowa City, Iowa, attributed to "Gang Lu"
posted by Ironmouth at 12:33 PM on July 30, 2009
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.
Rush Lyrics in a bar in Iowa City, Iowa, attributed to "Gang Lu"
posted by Ironmouth at 12:33 PM on July 30, 2009
I hope it's ok to self-link to my favorite graffito of all time.
posted by vibrotronica at 12:37 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by vibrotronica at 12:37 PM on July 30, 2009
On the wall in Duddley's Draw, College Station Texas, circa 1987.
Beam me up, Scotty!
Beamt me up, Scotty!
Beamt me up off, Scotty!
posted by Xoebe at 12:40 PM on July 30, 2009
Beam me up, Scotty!
Bea
Bea
posted by Xoebe at 12:40 PM on July 30, 2009
I was taking a chemistry exam in the chemistry building in undergrad, and I went to use the toilet.
On the wall was a circle of iron atoms -- Fe - Fe - Fe, in kind of a carbon ring.
Someone had written underneath: "FERROUS WHEEL"
Someone else had written under _that_: "No, you idiot, that's a ferric wheel. Iron is clearly in its 3+ state."
Under that, someone else had written that no, iron was clearly 2+ in this instance, so it was, indeed, a Ferrous wheel.
posted by Comrade_robot at 12:41 PM on July 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
On the wall was a circle of iron atoms -- Fe - Fe - Fe, in kind of a carbon ring.
Someone had written underneath: "FERROUS WHEEL"
Someone else had written under _that_: "No, you idiot, that's a ferric wheel. Iron is clearly in its 3+ state."
Under that, someone else had written that no, iron was clearly 2+ in this instance, so it was, indeed, a Ferrous wheel.
posted by Comrade_robot at 12:41 PM on July 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
Aw hell, this is not exactly stellar material, but it made me laugh when I saw it (some bar on Delmar in St. Louis) and still makes me laugh to this day:
No, my first name ain't Baby
It's Jesus . . .
Mr. Christ if you're nasty!
posted by barrett caulk at 12:43 PM on July 30, 2009
No, my first name ain't Baby
It's Jesus . . .
Mr. Christ if you're nasty!
posted by barrett caulk at 12:43 PM on July 30, 2009
My favorite, at the restroom of the Tangiers bar in Philly, home of the founding chapter of Drinking Liberally: "I am Atrios!" "You're not even TBogg". Cracks me up every time.
posted by scalefree at 12:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by scalefree at 12:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
My favorite was from a workers-only bathroom in the basement of an apartment building:
COD SACK
ROD SACK
JOHN SACK
ASS SACK
I always had the feeling that I could really grok what it meant, I'd turn into the Kwisatz Haderach.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:46 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
COD SACK
ROD SACK
JOHN SACK
ASS SACK
I always had the feeling that I could really grok what it meant, I'd turn into the Kwisatz Haderach.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:46 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I like it anyway.
Yeah, don't get me wrong, that little smushed dinosaur really makes it. I've just seen that everywhere lately, for some reason.
For some reason I really like that "Jesus wouldn't vandalize a wall" thing.
posted by graventy at 12:52 PM on July 30, 2009
Yeah, don't get me wrong, that little smushed dinosaur really makes it. I've just seen that everywhere lately, for some reason.
For some reason I really like that "Jesus wouldn't vandalize a wall" thing.
posted by graventy at 12:52 PM on July 30, 2009
In a stall at a 3M corporate engineering building:
Directly at eye level on the left wall, there was an arrow pointing to the right and slightly down. It said "Look".
Follow the arrow, and you find another arrow. It said "Look."
Follow the arrow, and you find one more arrow. It said "Look."
Follow THAT arrow, and you read "You are now sitting at a 45 degree angle."
F*&^ing engineers.
posted by pencroft at 1:01 PM on July 30, 2009
Directly at eye level on the left wall, there was an arrow pointing to the right and slightly down. It said "Look".
Follow the arrow, and you find another arrow. It said "Look."
Follow the arrow, and you find one more arrow. It said "Look."
Follow THAT arrow, and you read "You are now sitting at a 45 degree angle."
F*&^ing engineers.
posted by pencroft at 1:01 PM on July 30, 2009
My favorite I ever saw was:
"I like people.
I call 'em folks"
posted by dirtdirt at 1:28 PM on July 30, 2009
"I like people.
I call 'em folks"
posted by dirtdirt at 1:28 PM on July 30, 2009
Here I sit on the pooper, giving birth to a Maine state trooper.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:29 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:29 PM on July 30, 2009
Sincerely apologize if this has been linked here before: A Gallery Of Walls With Stuff Written On Them
posted by Bakuun at 1:34 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Bakuun at 1:34 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
I haven't peed anywhere where I've seen graffit in years. What does that say about me? I feel like I'm leading a very sheltered life all of a sudden.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:42 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:42 PM on July 30, 2009
My college library's bathroom had a toilet paper dispenser marked "URI Diplomas: Take One"
posted by mkb at 1:47 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by mkb at 1:47 PM on July 30, 2009
Until today, I did not know this existed: Bathroom Graffiti Project - Archiving the World's Bathroom Graffiti
posted by filthy light thief at 1:57 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 1:57 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Personal favorite:
"Elite or Obsolete
That's the difference
Between you +
Me & my Sombrero"
I'm not saying it makes an iota of sense, just that it makes me smile.
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:05 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Elite or Obsolete
That's the difference
Between you +
Me & my Sombrero"
I'm not saying it makes an iota of sense, just that it makes me smile.
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:05 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Rocky Mountain Pizza, Atlanta GA:
"NP != P"
"Everything that keeps us together is tearing us apart"
posted by prufrock at 2:13 PM on July 30, 2009
"NP != P"
"Everything that keeps us together is tearing us apart"
posted by prufrock at 2:13 PM on July 30, 2009
#10 put me in mind of Melbourne University's legendary Pink Texta Girl, whose work could be found in ladies' stalls throughout the Parkville campus. I was impressed with the bathroom graffiti culture at Melbourne - in addition to reams of general cleverness, there were well-established themed stalls that had been kept going for years (the Buffy stall in the John Medley building and the "Lesbian Loo" on the second floor of the Bailleu Library were always worth checking out), but Pink Texta Girl was in a class by herself. She had a lovely eye for composition and line, and a whimsical sense of humor. And possibly a little too much time on her hands on occasion, judging by the sheer quantity of work she produced. Her most impressive effort was the stall she turned into a sitting room, decorating the walls with chairs, end tables with lamps and vases, framed art, and a curtained window with a view. It was like stepping straight into a pink comics panel.
My favorite piece of hers, though, was an unwitting collaboration with her fellow students that arose from song lyrics posted with no attribution. The ensuing debate about whether this was plagiarism or not (unfortunately I was only able to get the opening salvo in frame in the linked photo) spanned weeks, and amused me to no end. If nothing else, it proved that at least a few people were paying attention to our warnings about plagiarism, despite the depressing number of undergrad essays we encountered that pulled chunks of text straight from Wikipedia without a citation in sight.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:14 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
My favorite piece of hers, though, was an unwitting collaboration with her fellow students that arose from song lyrics posted with no attribution. The ensuing debate about whether this was plagiarism or not (unfortunately I was only able to get the opening salvo in frame in the linked photo) spanned weeks, and amused me to no end. If nothing else, it proved that at least a few people were paying attention to our warnings about plagiarism, despite the depressing number of undergrad essays we encountered that pulled chunks of text straight from Wikipedia without a citation in sight.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:14 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Seen in a "honeybucket" brand outhouse at a Washington state job site, two labels, one over each toilet paper roll: "ten grit" "twenty grit".
posted by idiopath at 2:36 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by idiopath at 2:36 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Someone wrote "Toilet Forum" on the inside of one of the crappers at work. With better moderation, it could have gotten off the ground, but the first post - a crude drawing of a turd and "I AM TAKING A HUGE DUMP" - was flagged for removal and the custodian wound up shutting down the forum.
posted by porn in the woods at 2:36 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by porn in the woods at 2:36 PM on July 30, 2009
A fairly recent find:
Transcend your Inner Costanza
posted by action man bow-tie at 2:45 PM on July 30, 2009
Transcend your Inner Costanza
posted by action man bow-tie at 2:45 PM on July 30, 2009
I remember back in the 1980s, there were certain walls and boards at high school that were festooned with graffiti like "IRON MAIDEN", "FOGHAT", "BLACK SABBATH", etc, I used to scrawl things like "TOMMY ROE" and "KC & THE SUNSHINE BAND". I guess that was my own small way of going against the grain and perhaps making people laugh.
posted by crapmatic at 2:55 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by crapmatic at 2:55 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
From the same library bathroom in Victoria, BC:
Wayne Groutzky: The Grout One
Nietzsche is Peachy
posted by Beardman at 3:22 PM on July 30, 2009
Wayne Groutzky: The Grout One
Nietzsche is Peachy
posted by Beardman at 3:22 PM on July 30, 2009
Oh dead god. I meant Pietzsche.
posted by Beardman at 3:23 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Beardman at 3:23 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
The Eleven Best Hipster Bathroom Graffiti Moments
AAGGGGGGRHGHAGHG WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE CALLED HIPSTER
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL LOOK AT THIS SHIT ZERO RESULTS
posted by churl at 4:14 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
AAGGGGGGRHGHAGHG WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE CALLED HIPSTER
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL LOOK AT THIS SHIT ZERO RESULTS
posted by churl at 4:14 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Back in the early '80s, me and a couple of pals fell into a game where we would write 'off the pig/develop the illegal front' on bathroom stall walls at UBC and all over Vancouver, not because we were RADICAL REVOLUTIONARIES or anything, but because one of us had seen it once and we thought it was hilarious. I mean we were politicalish, sure, but people who were so deeply invested in the whole thing that they'd take a slogan like that seriously, well, we found them kinda of amusing.
So (unlikely as it may be 25 years later) if you see that slogan on some crud-caked shitter wall in some downtown east-side dive or out-of-the-way bathroom in the UBC math buildings or somewhere, well, maybe that was us.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:26 PM on July 30, 2009
So (unlikely as it may be 25 years later) if you see that slogan on some crud-caked shitter wall in some downtown east-side dive or out-of-the-way bathroom in the UBC math buildings or somewhere, well, maybe that was us.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:26 PM on July 30, 2009
I think I found this in a mefi post a couple of years ago, and it now contains even more graffiti goodness. Plus I've got to be kind of a fan of LifeLounge, so thanks to whoever posted this the first time!
posted by sneebler at 5:12 PM on July 30, 2009
posted by sneebler at 5:12 PM on July 30, 2009
In one of the buildings at my college, someone had scrawled on a bathroom stall:
lim(grades -> 0) major = business
This amused me for some reason I can't quite place. Possibly because it was in a Liberal Arts building.
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:34 PM on July 30, 2009
lim(grades -> 0) major = business
This amused me for some reason I can't quite place. Possibly because it was in a Liberal Arts building.
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:34 PM on July 30, 2009
The men's bathroom at Spec's in North Beach used to be covered in graffiti and little poems. My favorite was "This wall now available in paperback"
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 5:39 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 5:39 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
My favorite graffitti was in the bathroom of Little John's sub shop, circa 1987. It read: List your favorite Fred band. Underneath, in a variety of different hands, were 100 bands like Grateful Fred, Fred Zepplin, U2Fred, AC/FredC and so on. And I was a little drunk.
posted by procrastination at 5:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by procrastination at 5:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Nice graffiti is the best.
HERE I SIT,BROKEN happy HEARTED
I CAME TO SHIT AND ONLY FARTED
middle east peace talks have begun
NO MATTER HOW YOU SHAKE AND DANCE
THE LAST DROP FALLS IN YOUR PANTS
you're never out of step to an Elton John number
posted by Dr-Baa at 5:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
HERE I SIT,
middle east peace talks have begun
NO MATTER HOW YOU SHAKE AND DANCE
you're never out of step to an Elton John number
posted by Dr-Baa at 5:45 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Best ever:
"Mel Gibson's remake of Life of Brian wasn't nearly as funny as the original."
posted by tzikeh at 6:32 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
"Mel Gibson's remake of Life of Brian wasn't nearly as funny as the original."
posted by tzikeh at 6:32 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
Saw this at the infamous Tom's Tavern in Detroit, Michigan. Scrawled below a just-too-highly-placed toilet paper dispenser roll:
GET UP
STAND UP
STAND UP
FOR YOUR WIPES
posted by joe lisboa at 7:48 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
GET UP
STAND UP
STAND UP
FOR YOUR WIPES
posted by joe lisboa at 7:48 PM on July 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
San Francisco, mid 80s. On the side of a newspaper vending machine, just under "USA Today":
"Tomorrow, the world!"
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:48 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
"Tomorrow, the world!"
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:48 PM on July 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
I personally think these ones are much funnier.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:03 AM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by MuffinMan at 2:03 AM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
Spotted above a urinal:
Why are you reading the wall?
The joke is in your hand.
posted by Brodiggitty at 2:56 AM on July 31, 2009
Why are you reading the wall?
The joke is in your hand.
posted by Brodiggitty at 2:56 AM on July 31, 2009
I once saw "have a nice piss!" scrawled above a urinal. I thought it was nice of the individual in question.
posted by Solomon at 3:35 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by Solomon at 3:35 AM on July 31, 2009
I'll Be Right Back - Godot ... That's remarkably clever bathroom grafitti. The other stuff was ok, but this was the best.
Clever, sure, but a chestnut I first saw when I was in college 25+ years ago -- I can't remember if it was Apple Blossom Cafe or The Nines, in Ithaca NY - both establishments were both famous for their entertaining graffiti. Conventional wisdom among guys I knew was that the funniest quips were inaccessibly in the women's toilet at The Nines, but since they were mostly clever complaints about what idiots men are, we probably didn't want to read them anyhow.
posted by aught at 6:01 AM on July 31, 2009
Clever, sure, but a chestnut I first saw when I was in college 25+ years ago -- I can't remember if it was Apple Blossom Cafe or The Nines, in Ithaca NY - both establishments were both famous for their entertaining graffiti. Conventional wisdom among guys I knew was that the funniest quips were inaccessibly in the women's toilet at The Nines, but since they were mostly clever complaints about what idiots men are, we probably didn't want to read them anyhow.
posted by aught at 6:01 AM on July 31, 2009
In the ladies' at Mimi's in New Orleans, where I was for the 10th, there was an awesomely appropriate piece of graffiti that I meant to drag Jessamyn in to see except then I forgot. In big letters, someone had scrawled A Drunk Woman's Words are a Drunk Woman's Thoughts and somebody had neatly crossed out the second drunk - as so - drunk - and written Sober underneath it. I really wanted to add FTFY but my faithful sharpie, alas, was not at hand.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:44 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:44 AM on July 31, 2009
Written in large, black letters over the (perfectly normal) urinal in a hotel in rural Scotland:
TO OPERATE URINALS
1) Charge air bottle and then open valve
2) Open inlet valve with great care
3) Free lever and bring to pause
4) Bring lever to flushing
5) Bring lever to discharge
6) Bring lever to pause
7) Return lever to normal and lock
8) Close all valves behind you
9) Try to remember why you came in here in the first place
posted by Splificator at 8:52 AM on July 31, 2009
TO OPERATE URINALS
1) Charge air bottle and then open valve
2) Open inlet valve with great care
3) Free lever and bring to pause
4) Bring lever to flushing
5) Bring lever to discharge
6) Bring lever to pause
7) Return lever to normal and lock
8) Close all valves behind you
9) Try to remember why you came in here in the first place
posted by Splificator at 8:52 AM on July 31, 2009
"To whomever can’t recognize the obvious pattern:
"Paper towels deposited in the toilet tend to cause clogs. That is to say there’s a clear line of causation between you throwing towels in the toilet and the toilet getting clogged.
"Please stop being stupid."
posted by Jim Slade at 10:52 AM on July 31, 2009
"Paper towels deposited in the toilet tend to cause clogs. That is to say there’s a clear line of causation between you throwing towels in the toilet and the toilet getting clogged.
"Please stop being stupid."
posted by Jim Slade at 10:52 AM on July 31, 2009
Seen (written in the dirt) on a truly filthy car in Dublin:
I wish my wife was this dirty
And, on a black car, caked in dirt/grime/bits of mud:
Also available in black
posted by dbmcd at 12:17 PM on July 31, 2009
I wish my wife was this dirty
And, on a black car, caked in dirt/grime/bits of mud:
Also available in black
posted by dbmcd at 12:17 PM on July 31, 2009
In one of the stairwells of the Arts Center of the university in my home town, someone doodled two little boxy stick-figure-like characters, with word-balloons that read "We don't like you." "We hate you."
(I realized later that they were simplified depictions of Milk and Cheese, but I wasn't familiar with them at the time, so it struck me as very weird.)
In a hallway in the same building, someone put a completely dead and dried-out potted plant outside the door to their office, presumably so the janitors would cart it off. Someone came by and put a note on it reading "This plant needs water." Someone else came by, crossed out 'water' and wrote 'BLOOD'.
posted by rifflesby at 3:22 PM on July 31, 2009
(I realized later that they were simplified depictions of Milk and Cheese, but I wasn't familiar with them at the time, so it struck me as very weird.)
In a hallway in the same building, someone put a completely dead and dried-out potted plant outside the door to their office, presumably so the janitors would cart it off. Someone came by and put a note on it reading "This plant needs water." Someone else came by, crossed out 'water' and wrote 'BLOOD'.
posted by rifflesby at 3:22 PM on July 31, 2009
At Grassroots on St. Mark's in NYC, one of the two tiny women's stalls has one thing on the door only, and it says "Snuggle Against Death."
And I thought (always while drunk, of course) that that is the most succinct possible phrasing of my life philosophy.
So when I had the chance on an otherwise boring workday to write anything I wanted on the "bathroom" set of Rock of Ages, that's what I wrote. So go see the show, sit right up front, and you'll get a nice eyeful.
(The rest of the workday was spent putting the boss's phone number up for a good time. And throwing wet toilet paper at the freshly-painted stalls.)
posted by lauranesson at 3:33 PM on July 31, 2009
And I thought (always while drunk, of course) that that is the most succinct possible phrasing of my life philosophy.
So when I had the chance on an otherwise boring workday to write anything I wanted on the "bathroom" set of Rock of Ages, that's what I wrote. So go see the show, sit right up front, and you'll get a nice eyeful.
(The rest of the workday was spent putting the boss's phone number up for a good time. And throwing wet toilet paper at the freshly-painted stalls.)
posted by lauranesson at 3:33 PM on July 31, 2009
In the Salt Lake City Airport " OFFICIAL NOTICE:These urinals out of use due to drought" with the annotation "I didn't come to make a withdrawal - just to make a small deposit"
posted by speug at 7:03 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by speug at 7:03 PM on July 31, 2009
Here I sit, cheeks a flexin,'
Just gave birth to another Texan.
(Apologies to Texans.)
posted by metagnathous at 10:50 AM on August 1, 2009
Just gave birth to another Texan.
(Apologies to Texans.)
posted by metagnathous at 10:50 AM on August 1, 2009
On a dumpster behind the Dunkin Donuts:
"People die in fairytales all the time"
posted by pointilist at 2:04 PM on August 1, 2009
"People die in fairytales all the time"
posted by pointilist at 2:04 PM on August 1, 2009
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posted by Riki tiki at 11:17 AM on July 30, 2009