Shellshocked and awed...

September 11, 2009 7:25 PM

Loved Nanaca Crash? Want to hurl a turtle instead? Toss the Turtle will be right up your alley. Easy concept, shoot turtle from cannon and watch him bounce and blow up as he careens across the screen. Enjoy!
posted by schyler523 (23 comments total)

gonna have to say, the easiest way to get me to not play a new game is to remind me of the existence of Nanaca Crash before telling me about it. [15000k on my first go in years!... what, there's some turtle thing in the post, too?]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:50 PM on September 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

goddamnit, i haven't played nanaca crash in months and now here i go again.

15879 meters and i'm quitting for the night.
posted by empath at 8:18 PM on September 11, 2009

Trebuchets would've been more alliterative.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:29 PM on September 11, 2009

Hmm, this is sort of a cross between Nanaca Crash and the hamster space program games, but it's not as good as either one. NC at least has the little indicators for what's coming on the ground, so you're not completely blindsided. And the hamster space program games let you advance much faster. You have to go over and over and over and over in this game to save up enough for anything interesting.

Plus, hints like "buy the next level as soon as you can" aren't very helpful, since there doesn't seem to be any way to "buy a level", just new equipment. Maybe I missed something, but I did look pretty carefully to see if I could get myself to a higher-scoring playfield, and didn't find anything.
posted by Malor at 8:29 PM on September 11, 2009

Played to the end (all stuff + golden gun) takes a LONG time.

This is much more fun.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:34 PM on September 11, 2009

Plus, hints like "buy the next level as soon as you can" aren't very helpful, since there doesn't seem to be any way to "buy a level"

I noticed that too. Plus, WASD seems to have little effect. Am I missing something here? Is this something I would have to be a Penny Arcade reader to understand?
posted by hifiparasol at 8:38 PM on September 11, 2009

can we link to games on armorgames.com instead? It doesn't have the annoying interface.
posted by Betty_effn_White at 8:47 PM on September 11, 2009

One look at the awkward shop screen trying to transition itself in and I was all ⌘-W. If you can't get ease-in right then you suck and need to go back to game creating school.
posted by Palamedes at 9:14 PM on September 11, 2009

So it's pretty much Happy Tree Friends: The Game.

I agree with the above, though. WAY too much grinding.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 10:49 PM on September 11, 2009

Ironically, I already had a game of this running in the background when I came to see what was new on the front page. There's too little skill involved in the game to bother tending to runs while you rack up cash for upgrades: with the horrible music turned off and the sound effects left on you can quite easily launch, fire your rocket, empty your clip to skip him back up to the stellar altitude several times - this all takes about thirty seconds - and then go ahead and surf elsewhere while the endgame runs itself in the background. It will often run for 2 or 3 minutes, sometimes more, on autopilot. Just keep an ear open for the squelch of hitting the spikes, or just the sound effects petering out as it skids to a halt.

Hold on for half a minute...

I know, that's not actually ironic. What's the expression I'm looking for? Oh right, I'm fucking crazy. Beats paying a WoW subscription fee
posted by nanojath at 11:06 PM on September 11, 2009

My husband plays Toss the Turtle. Normally I don't care about cartoon violence, but somehow seeing the bloody turtle bouncing across the landscape really gets to me. I can't watch it, much less fire the poor little guy out of a cannon myself.
posted by immlass at 11:24 PM on September 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

45041.8

and I hate you.
posted by boo_radley at 12:21 AM on September 12, 2009

My husband plays Toss the Turtle.
posted by immlass

I hope you recognize that many faithful men in healthy relationships do the same thing...
posted by Graygorey at 12:28 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Am I just failing to find the "mute" button?
posted by NoraReed at 12:34 AM on September 12, 2009

it's 2:34 Central time. I spent my day patching, sanding, priming and painting a kitchen AND caring for a +-5 week old rescued kitten. MIX the D45 UP the ladder SMOOTHLY apply the compound DOWN the ladder FEED the kitten SCRAPE the taping knives SAND the patches VACUUM the dust PLAY WITH the kitten PRIME the patches CLEAN the roller CLEAN the brush FEED the kitten CUT IN with the paint ROLL the paint CUDDLE the kitten and on and on...

and I come home to THIS.

You bastards.
posted by mountain_william at 12:42 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have become an expert at impaling my turtle on spikes.

Having owned a real tortoise before, it makes me wince every single time.
posted by Alnedra at 1:29 AM on September 12, 2009

Is there a secret to using the nukes for maximum effectiveness?
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:57 AM on September 12, 2009

> Am I just failing to find the "mute" button?

Bottom right, left of the Newgrounds logo.


Nukes seemed quite random in effectiveness to me. It might be related to how close you are to the ground and if you're going up or down when it strikes, but I'm not sure. Either way it didn't seem very useful. And it was too grindy, took way too many shots to get enough money to upgrade (after which it took too long to upgrade the next thing etc).

To get good scores you need to grind until you have the tank, the missile, the gold gun, and enough luck to not get impaled on those floating spikes which litter the course. It's very luck-based at that point because there's absolutely no way to react to any items that are flying by since you're going so fast.
posted by bjrn at 8:18 AM on September 12, 2009

I found using the nukes to be most effective as the turtle falls, right around 300 ft or so, so that it detonates right by him when he hits the ground..
I too was disappointed by the amount of grinding for not much payoff. Maybe there's something there after all the trophies, but I couldn't be arsed to get the last couple.
posted by hypersloth at 9:32 AM on September 12, 2009

The game that Nanaca Crash was based off of, Cross Channel, has been translated into english.

It's an eroge so obviously nsfw, but you can choose to play it with no erotic scenes.

It's a very highly rated VN (Visual Novel) so I suggest checking it out.

Link to the group that translated it is here.
posted by Allan Gordon at 1:02 PM on September 12, 2009

"Holy shit, I just hit some kinda... banana man."

--Mr. F has the deathless quote of the two of us sitting here cracking out on this
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 6:26 PM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

> Maybe there's something there after all the trophies, but I couldn't be arsed to get the last couple.

To save some trouble for anyone who's wondering about this: No. There's nothing special when you get all medals (other than the bonuses you get for earning the medals, but those are indicated before you've earned them, so hardly a surprise).
posted by bjrn at 7:28 AM on September 14, 2009

2,159,xxx feet in one go. I'm going to consider that "completed" as it actually got boring just holding down the D key. Three more medals to go that I'm not going to bother with. Fun, though.
posted by pkingdesign at 11:53 PM on September 17, 2009