Microsoft have the Bestest Ads
September 23, 2009 7:44 AM   Subscribe

Microsoft attempt to recreate the magic of the Songsmith commercial (previously) with Windows 7 Launch Parties
posted by minifigs (174 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
The way they keep looking off-camera completely dispels the notion that they are doing this commercial at gunpoint. "Dispels" means "makes very obvious" right?

But to be fair, "at gunpoint" is how most people are planning to use Windows anyway.
posted by DU at 7:48 AM on September 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


This is so, so painful.
posted by 1adam12 at 7:49 AM on September 23, 2009


I watched about ten seconds of it, then had to turn away. Cringe.
posted by djgh at 7:51 AM on September 23, 2009


I agree with you 1adam12. The whole thing is so contrived and awkward it is just awful to watch.

DU: A little over the top with that gunpoint comment perhaps?
posted by a3matrix at 7:54 AM on September 23, 2009


This does a better job of making PCs/Windows look dorky than 10 years' worth of those "I'm a Mac" commercials ever could.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:54 AM on September 23, 2009 [13 favorites]


I kept waiting for the part where it reveals itself as a huge joke, but this just gets more and more awkward. I can't imagine a more uncomfortable party to be at than a highly organized Windows 7 Launch Party (with Bonus Activities).
posted by mkultra at 7:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


"Windows 7 as an honored guest."

You see that ...that is not something you should say.

Not unless you're actually worshiping Windows 7 has some kind of OS That Comes God of Crashes.


Wait.
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


The first thing you want to do is install Windows 7 a couple days ahead of time. laughter [spliced in voice]CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS[/spliced in voice]

Confidence.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


I have never seen such monumental scripted snacking.

(I signed up to host a party. I have requested all guests dress entirely in black.)
posted by tomb at 7:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


"In a lot of ways, you are just throwing a party with windows 7 as an honored guest"

Mac was too busy at the real party, and Linux is busy playing nethack, but windows 7 showed up.
posted by idiopath at 7:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [8 favorites]




The horrible camera work is really distracting and irritating.
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 7:58 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Microsoft's attempts to be customer friendly and/or hip always remind of Dr. Evil doing the Macarena.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:58 AM on September 23, 2009 [14 favorites]


It's nice that they have a black friend.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:59 AM on September 23, 2009 [38 favorites]


Handheld-camera shaky pseudorealism only works when there's no intercutting, you morans ("Oh, yeah, I totally filmed that. With my own camera. Mounted on a tripod, but not, like, really fixed, you know, that's why there's all this shaking around a central point, and constant unnecessary in-and-out-zooming. Oh, and I got three of my friends to film it, too. With their cameras on tripods. I just told them to go for it, and shake lots, and then I cut the best takes together, like you do for a party tape.").
posted by PontifexPrimus at 7:59 AM on September 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


Halfway through my party got crashed, so I had to restart it.

(Thank you, I'm here all week)
posted by memebake at 7:59 AM on September 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


Not unless you're actually worshiping Windows 7 has some kind of OS That Comes God of Crashes.

ZALGO

DU: A little over the top with that gunpoint comment perhaps?

I guess now is as good a time as any to go on record with my completely non-hyperbolic information. I have in my possession documents that show Microsoft is planning to hire exactly half of all humanity to force the other half, at gunpoint, to run Windows.
posted by DU at 7:59 AM on September 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


The whole thing is so contrived and awkward it is just awful to watch.

Microsoft may have finally achieved the impossible: They out-ironied Metafilter.
posted by Adam_S at 8:00 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


"It looks like you are trying to host a party..."
posted by flashboy at 8:00 AM on September 23, 2009 [32 favorites]


I guess since Billy Mays is no longer with us Microsoft had to go with the Magic Bullet team instead.
posted by gyc at 8:01 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


3:40--the black guy just got to say something finally. I'm assuming he's about to be blown up by a landmine next.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:01 AM on September 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


Someone I know is hosting one of these. He told me they're getting a "party pack" for the event, but he doesn't know what's included in that.

Frankly, I'll go to the launch party because they throw a damned fine party, but I'll be really disappointed if there aren't free copies of Windows 7 at the launch parties.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:01 AM on September 23, 2009


Adding comments has been disabled for this video.

Wise choice.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:01 AM on September 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


Tonedeaf isn't exactly the word I'm looking for... realitydeaf?
posted by codacorolla at 8:04 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


So, so many things are so, so wrong (and so on the nose wrong) that you keep expecting it to be some elaborate set-up. Like they open up the box and a huge monster hand comes out and they all go "ahhh!" and there is guitar riff and the tagline "MICROSOFT IS MORE THAN YOU EXPECT!" or something, which would be "oh hey they're riffing on their dorky image and ending on a joke, cute."

But that doesn't happen. Nothing happens. It's either the more straitlaced, deadpan kaufmanesque stunt ever (something about the way GayDork keeps nervously munching and Token Black Guy suddenly switches to Ominous Monotone makes me think, at the very least, they're treating it as a set-up) or Microsoft's ad dept is being run by cyrogenically frozen hacks from 1940 whose only connection to reality is CBS and maybe ABC Family.
posted by The Whelk at 8:05 AM on September 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


they're getting a "party pack" for the event

If it's as fully-featured as an out-of-the-box installation of Windows, I expect the pack to contain:
  • a large banner that says WELCOME TO WINDOWS LAUNCH PARTY
  • a single kazoo
posted by DU at 8:07 AM on September 23, 2009 [22 favorites]


The way the nerd and the grandma keep looking at each other is creeping me out. I think this party may go late.
posted by Paid In Full at 8:09 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Okay, I watched it again (Shut up I am an adult and do what I want). I'm going with realitydeaf, like an ad made by someone who only had an ad explained to him, in passing, by someone who had only seen one once, from far away and with the sound turned off.

I wonder if this is how animals in enclosures feel? Like sure this nice walled-off mini jungle with river is *nice* but there's something off....something just behind the walls ...something missing that you didn't know you missed.....

He is coming.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 AM on September 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


Wow


.
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:12 AM on September 23, 2009


Are they suggesting WE host our own parties celebrating Windows 7? Is that actually what's happeing?
posted by Summer at 8:12 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Missing the second-hand embarrassment tag.
posted by aerotive at 8:15 AM on September 23, 2009


Also, note the constant, nonstop, insanely detailed, completely pointless obsession with the rules and suggestions and regulations for having your own Microsoft Brand Launch Party.

Isn't that the opposite of a party? It's like you're giving instructions to someone who has never been to a party. Or you're programing your Stepford Bot in Proper Party Protocol.

"I think the biggest thing is to be totally creative."

"Are they nuts or what?"

"Grr."

OMG IT'S LIKE I WORK IN AN OFFICE AGAIN OH GODS MAKE IT STOP NOW NOW NOW!
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


On the one hand, this isn't really supposed to be an advert - its a help video being sent to people already enthused enough to have volunteered to host a launch party. So perhaps the criticism is unfair.

On the other hand, this is guaranteed to go viral much faster and much more virulently then any 'clever' ad they could have conceived of. So perhaps someone, somewhere, does know exactly what they're doing.
posted by memebake at 8:16 AM on September 23, 2009


The related video is a wonderful bit of serendipity.
posted by The Whelk at 8:18 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's nice that they have a black friend.

They're going to edit the black guy out for the launch party in Poland.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:18 AM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


Man, this makes the Magic Bullet people look - aw, shit.

*Throws tiny blender at gyc*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:20 AM on September 23, 2009


If this only came a few months earlier, we could have had free ironic party favors for MeFi10!

It's nice that they have a black friend.

And the old lady friend, and the non-threatening male friend, and the home-making friend! Not a stereotypical geek in sight. Also, no sign of the cutest little advertiser ever.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:20 AM on September 23, 2009


.
posted by jquinby at 8:20 AM on September 23, 2009


My guess is that these "parties" are actually corporate training sessions in places where management assumes that their employees are mental orangutans who need basic computer updates explained to them though glittery training videos and team-building application scavenger hunts with keychains and shit as prizes oh my god I'm going to the bathroom now to punch myself in the face brb.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:21 AM on September 23, 2009


I'm totally with Pontifex about the camera work being way overproduced. So is the lighting. Black guy and white guy equally exposed, warm looking kitchen, light streaming in a window. I'd kill for lighting like that in my house. Only there's this one bright spot just off camera to the right of the frame, projecting stark shadows to the side and making nerdy white guy's chest glow.

With just a bit of editing this could be the intro to some porn video. Back and white guy on MILF, stern older woman wielding the whip of discipline, laptop open to more porn.
posted by Nelson at 8:21 AM on September 23, 2009


* All hosts will receive:
o One limited Signature Edition Windows 7 Ultimate

More limited than usual?
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:23 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


With just a bit of editing this could be the intro to some porn video.

Sir:

Your ideas intrigue me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by jquinby at 8:24 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Microsoft has a longstanding tradition of producing needlessly awkward, embarassing-to-watch promotional videos.

And everybody loves a tradition.
posted by Western Infidels at 8:26 AM on September 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


That first one was just from watching a minute of the video... after watching the whole thing, a few responses:

1. Do not let any party guest "mess around" with the computer.
2. Yes, you in the video are working on behalf of Microsoft, don't fool yourself.
3. Yes, they are nuts.
4. Nerd on the left: racist as heck by inferring MS is nuts by having the token dude be involved.

Good grief Microsoft! You really screwed up this time, what a pathetic waste of time. You really deserve to no longer be a software company.

And oh yeah, you fully demonstrated how corporations take advantage of people in hard economic times by getting them to do anything just to stay or get hired.

*shakes head in disbelief*
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:29 AM on September 23, 2009


Microsoft has a longstanding tradition of producing needlessly awkward, embarassing-to-watch promotional videos .


See, this furthers my theory that Microsoft's ad dept consists of people who have been time-locked and pulled out somewhere around the end of Vaudeville. Betty-Boop receptionist wouldn't be out of place in some broad comedy review called MODERN OFFICE FOLLIES OF '38! or something.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 AM on September 23, 2009


“How the party flows is totally up to you. Now, here’s a sample agenda that we each more or less followed…”

You guys party hard!! Screw those uptight folks who think every party needs to have its flow centrally decided by a large corporation. I for one think it is totally awesome that, once you're at the party, you only "more or less" follow the agenda! Being sticklers about following party agendas to the letter, that is so old-school!
posted by ManInSuit at 8:31 AM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


I was going to make an FPP of this, but it seems more appropriate in this thread somehow.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:35 AM on September 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


Obviously Microsoft is a gigantic corporation with many vendors/divisions/rogue marketing departments so this easily could have originated from a few misguided souls in Toledo or Topeka -- but there is always the chance that this is purposely ironic ironischitzzle. One of Microsoft's primary advertising agencies, Crispin Porter + Bogusky, while not always respected or praised, has a reputation for convincing clients to do... unexpected stuff. Not saying this video is a good idea, just floating the possibility that it is self-aware. And I know everyone here hates hipsters.

Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried
everything here.
posted by solmyjuice at 8:36 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


I swear I cannot wait to get my copy of 7 so I can throw a launch party of my own!!! Nothing spells P A R T Y like balloons on the mailbox, a 2-3 hour install time followed by the classic MS blue screen when none of the drivers recognize 7 as an OS.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:36 AM on September 23, 2009


* All hosts will receive:
*blah*

A guy could have a pretty dorky time in Vegas with all that.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:43 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


With just a bit of editing this could be the intro to some porn video. Back and white guy on MILF, stern older woman wielding the whip of discipline, laptop open to more porn.

Now that would have been a video. If only.
posted by chunking express at 8:44 AM on September 23, 2009


These thoughts keep gnawing at me:

1) Would you have to be a marketing genius to try to co-opt the whole meme-ey, ironic and just plain fun shenanigans that went on around the Songsmith release?

2) Could I credit the marketing department for a major corporation with the intelligence to recognize that, when it comes to Windows 7 and the Great Internet Peanut Gallery, the best you can hope for is to be acknowledged?

3) Would you need to be a fundamentally evil person to realise that, (in my best butter-wouldn't-melt voice) 'maybe if you made an advert that was apparently unironically awful, then people might start having Windows 7 Parties as a direct response to this advert'?
posted by Jofus at 8:48 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I am planning a launch party. The launch will involve a trebuchet and flaming torches.
posted by unSane at 8:49 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


So who's going to upload photos of people installing Gentoo?
posted by PenDevil at 8:50 AM on September 23, 2009


Ok, T-Bone, time for some serious crunching!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:53 AM on September 23, 2009


Love how they edited, at 1:01, the "cool geek's" voice saying "Call customer service if you have any questions" when the camera breaks away. You totally know it's a post-production edit because his vocal register goes up, like, two octives.

You know he's a geek because of the glasses. You know he's cool because of the multi-bracelet. He's the hip nerdy dude on vacation who helps you with MP3 downloads of house music for your moon rave in Goa, and only takes a couple of shrooms in payment (but is too scared to use them).

I also love the noshin' and face-stuffin' and sippin' of drinks throughout. Makes it A-grade American.
posted by Gordion Knott at 8:55 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


My party got shut down -- not by the fuzz, but by Windows Genuine Advantage.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:57 AM on September 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


Microsoft, huh? So it's easy to mock?
posted by anthom at 8:59 AM on September 23, 2009


Jofus - I also have been having those thoughts. I am also concerned that my flatmate and I were already planning to have a (completely unrelated) party two days after Windows 7 is launched, and I now can't see any way that it won't become ironically turned into a Microsoft party.

I am printing out the Host Notes and Sample Agendas as we speak. This will be the best organised fun ever.
posted by flashboy at 9:00 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I think a lot of the criticism and snark that Microsoft's marketing attracts is off the mark, because the critics and snarkers are starting from some incorrect assumptions. Like that the Microsoft powers-that-be want Microsoft to seem cool, or that anyone who matters over there gives a flying fig about "launch parties" and other marketing nonsense.

But Microsoft was never cool. Their marketing has always been slow-moving, dull-witted, and tone-deaf. Their business strategy has always been mean-spirited, petty, and borderline-psychotic. In other words, Microsoft has embodied, in the large, a geeks' impression of what marketing and business people are like: greedy, pig-headed, close-minded, unreflective, and infuriatingly, popular and successful in spite of or even because of those very qualities.

Which has worked out really, really well for them so far.
posted by Western Infidels at 9:00 AM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


The MS PR dept. is actually a subset of the AI dept. This add is generated by the next generation of thesaurus suggestions.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:02 AM on September 23, 2009


I can't help thinking that, if Microsoft had come out with a well-managed, well-produced and enjoyable ad campaign that didn't make everyone cringe, they wouldn't currently have half the internet talking about their product launch.

They know they have a dorky reputation and they know that they have a history of embarassing promotional videos. They also have aircraft carriers full of money to throw at the very best pollsters and advertising agencies in the world. As a wannabe linux nerd I like mocking Microsoft as much as everyone else, but I have to believe that this is deliberate.
posted by metaBugs at 9:02 AM on September 23, 2009


Wow, Microsoft isn't kidding. Here's the House Party USA site. I was going to post some more deep links, but the website is so horribly built and slow I can't really convince anything to load. The little map shows 400 parties near San Francisco, 700 near Los Angeles. They're gonna take back cool from Apple, one party at a time.

The host site houseparty.com seems to be a whole business devoted to promoting fake parties for corporate marketing. Hunt's, Sargento foods, Betty Crocker, Disney, ESPN, Martha Stewart. Man, those corporations know how to party. They raised $3.4 million in March as a Series B. One man's Tupperware lady is another man's "leading consumer activation and experiential marketing company".
posted by Nelson at 9:05 AM on September 23, 2009


i cant wait fer all the party fun but hey who needs a reason to party this is jus gonna be a good ole time and most of my buds and stuff are into computers anyways so this is gonna be so much fun i cant wait fer party day
dlandis32
posted by Nelson at 9:13 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


House party is described as "experimental marketing".

I am imagining uncomfortable audiences wondering "when does the marketing start?", as the advertisers stretch the artistic limits of their genre, and use "experimental" as an excuse for doing no proper planning and preparation but just getting really high before the gig instead.

"no, you don't understad - it's conceptual, man... like the tone deafness of the commercial represents how def windows 7 is, we transcend the banality of bad advertising to get to the root of the consumer condition"
posted by idiopath at 9:14 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's just like Microsoft is some weird cult, and they don't get how normal people live and act. This video looks like some surreal indoctrination/propaganda video. It's unsettling and it's strange and the make-up of the group is obviously and terribly wrong. Like if you asked an alien race, or Howard Hughes, or Jim Jones what a party might look like, this could be what they'd present. Terribly uncomfortable. And sad.
posted by xmutex at 9:14 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Those guessing this was made strictly for a viral application are correct. There is no information in the video, so it's not an advertisement. I think Microsoft read the comments on the Songsmith video and thought to themselves: 'let's totally blow their minds and put out another awkward video but this time it'll be ironic and go VIRAL"

I've heard nothing but good things about Windows 7, so why the lame campaign out of the gate?

Oh wait, nevermind.
posted by weezy at 9:16 AM on September 23, 2009


The camerawork made me seasick.
posted by rusty at 9:16 AM on September 23, 2009


At least they didn't put any Macs in the video.
posted by TedW at 9:16 AM on September 23, 2009


I am hoping (with no small measure of despair) that the file search functionality is not as completely useless as it is in Vista. I remember stumbling across a KnowledgeBase article from Microsoft about "reasons why you might not be finding files in Vista" or something to that effect. The list of potential reasons was at least twelve items long, and most of these reasons were not valid for Windows XP.

I do not know if Microsoft is capable of learning from their mistakes or if they are going to just figure the users are dumbasses who will suck it up.
posted by adipocere at 9:18 AM on September 23, 2009


I'm on a really slow internet connection so I haven't watched the video yet, but I've long thought that Microsoft should so much more to play up its dork image.

The "I'm a Mac" ads make me laugh, but I've always thought that the response ads were obvious: make a commercial with dweebs who are comfortable being dweebs. People my age don't want to be the cool kids with the ripped jeans anymore. I could see a lot of my friends doing something hilarious like creating a pie chart to describe their vacations. Microsoft should have made ads playing that up three years ago.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:18 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I love the section starting at 3:57 where they give you advice on how to market their product to your friends while ostensibly discussing how to "have a lot of fun." Because nothing's more fun than having your friends try to sell you things.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:19 AM on September 23, 2009


My plan for a Windows 7 party: Pass out the shotglasses and play that video. Every time a character says "Windows Seven", everybody takes a shot.

Anyone still conscious by 5:30 wins a prize. Anyone still conscious at the end was clearly cheating, and will be forced to actually install the damn thing on their computer.
posted by metaBugs at 9:20 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I look toward the day that Windows has vanished from the face of the earth, and guys like Steve Ballmer are but dust, dry bones and uncomfortable memories.
posted by Hovercraft Eel at 9:21 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


That houseparty site is fantastic. I can host all kinds of parties and get free Windows 7! Free silicone spatulas from a tomato sauce company! Free....."months of online Sargento Finishers fun"! (wtf)

Relatively speaking, balloons and streamers seem more fun than....ooh wait free cookies.
posted by Salmonberry at 9:22 AM on September 23, 2009


I kept hoping the ad would go in this direction.
posted by naju at 9:23 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I refuse to believe that this is an elaborate plot by marketing geniuses.
posted by diogenes at 9:28 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Truly, this ad gave me a blue screen of plaatsvervangende schaamte.
posted by chinston at 9:28 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


There's no way this video is intended ironically, because that would mean they made something exactly right and this is Microsoft I rest my case.
posted by DU at 9:32 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Notice the clock on oven starts at 3:20 and ends, 6 minutes later, at 5:01. I hate to tell these folks, but after 1.5 hours, you can assume no one else is going to show up.
posted by nightwood at 9:36 AM on September 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


Holy, SHIT! At first, I thought this was a brilliant troll, what with the borderline racism against the black dude and the ironic without winking, but looking at the house party website they're not joking. On the bottom of the page, they got some kind of corporate marketing award for their Hershey's campaign. The page is here, and the last 90% of the video has a super awkward video with 3 girls marketing Hershey's to each other. If I had to guess, they got the House Party company to produce a commercial (and them being complete corporate tools, created a video so awkward, we couldn't figure out if they were joking), and Microsoft being so oblivious, they approved it.
posted by amuseDetachment at 9:42 AM on September 23, 2009


amuseDetachment: "3 girls marketing Hershey's to each other"

This is stimulating my greed, lust, and gluttony all at the same time.
posted by Joe Beese at 9:46 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


the last 90% of the video has a super awkward video with 3 girls marketing Hershey's to each other

I skipped through the video looking for this because I couldn't even imagine what that might mean. They are all holding chocolate bars and doing Billy Mays impressions at each other?

Finally, I come back here ready to say "nuh uh" when I realize you meant the "messages from customer" stuff. You were using "girls" to mean "somewhat dim-witted people who like chocolate".

And this from the person complaining about "borderline racism".
posted by DU at 9:54 AM on September 23, 2009


So who's going to upload photos of people installing Gentoo?

Great, now we'll get a video, edited on an Amiga, of a bunch of neckbeards standing around in a kitchen.
posted by ryoshu at 10:01 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


DU: I don't see how my comment is any problem at all, it's descriptive, i.e. similar to when I used the word "black" for the Microsoft video. The Microsoft video itself is borderline racism because they're clearly out of touch of acceptable mores, it's not technically racist, but is very out of touch of what is acceptable to say. If I heard that in real life at a party, I would be going "what the fuck" on the inside and ask the person to clarify.
posted by amuseDetachment at 10:06 AM on September 23, 2009


ryoshu: "a bunch of neckbeards standing around in a kitchen"

The climax of the video is four days later when all of gnome finishes compiling.
posted by idiopath at 10:09 AM on September 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


PenDevil: "So who's going to upload photos of people installing Gentoo"

How about Ubuntu instead?
posted by octothorpe at 10:09 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


This thing will be legendary. Wow.
posted by davebush at 10:19 AM on September 23, 2009


Windows 7 is such a party crasher! But not in the way you'd think.
posted by brenton at 10:24 AM on September 23, 2009


amuseDetachment - If I heard that in real life at a party, I would be going "what the fuck" on the inside and ask the person to clarify.

Why? If that comment had been between two people of the same race it would very obviously have been harmless banter between friends, implying that his friend is accident-prone/incompetent/whatever. But you see a white guy saying it to a black guy, so it must be about race? Are we not allowed to snark at our friends unless they're the same race as us?

I'm not trying to be holier-than-thou or anything, it's a genuine question. To me it seems that you (and several other commenters) are being hypersensitive about this, and I'm trying to work out if it's just a cultural difference (UK/USA) or if there's some other cue there that I'm missing.
posted by metaBugs at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2009


This is all so strange and I feel so confused.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 10:27 AM on September 23, 2009


Hey hey hey hey, we're losing sight of what's important here, making fun of this horrible, horrible video.
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on September 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


(Also: first time I've ever used the word "snark". Am I speakin it proper, like?)
posted by metaBugs at 10:28 AM on September 23, 2009


metaBugs: I'm not saying it must be about race. I'm saying that it's not acceptable in terms of mores within the advertising community in the US. Hypersensitivity is one of the components of US modern race relations, there's no way to get around it, it's part of our history. A lack of recognition of race relations is culturally unacceptable. Look at the white guy when he makes his comment, if he was slightly more jokey when he made his comment amongst friends, it would've been perfectly innocuous. However, the actor for some reason decided to give this weird facial cue. It's hard to describe without watching it, but I would describe it as akin someone "biting their lower lip". It doesn't come off as banter, the black guy doesn't hit back, there's no explanation of his comment, it just comes completely out of left field. He is the only one giving anyone else any kind of shit. Yes, this is a little hypersensitive, but that's the way we are. The fact of the matter is, as it's unacceptable to be blatantly racist these days, the racists are out there making weird code-words for blackness (e.g. "Canadian").

Quite simply, in the US media, it's unacceptable for a white guy to give a black person shit out of nowhere and have the black guy just take it.
posted by amuseDetachment at 10:45 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Windows 7 seems interesting. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 10:49 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


The more I think about it, this party looks kind of cool. I tried going to a Snow Leopard launch party, but it was just a bunch of white dudes sitting around listening to Feist.
posted by naju at 10:54 AM on September 23, 2009


Interesting, thanks. Er, I can't write a proper reply because my SO has just decided we're leaving 10 minutes earlier than planned. I think I just read the scene differently from you. However, I will comment that, when you put it like that, it probably applies to much of the UK media too. Although our ethnic makeup probably means that the UK would be more likely to over-react to representation of asians than blacks. But thanks for such a reasoned response :).

Must dash, I'm having eyebrows raised at me...
posted by metaBugs at 10:54 AM on September 23, 2009


I get what people are saying when pointing out that Microsoft isn't cool, isn't trying to be cool, and how not being cool has served them well. But this isn't just not-cool, it's embarrassingly bad and utterly devoid of any kind of cultural awareness.

A few years back Microsoft had some TV ads here in the UK with teenagers going on about using/creating media files while all sorts of graphics flew around, ending with the slogan "Start something rockin'" spoken (with a hint of awkwardness about omitting the 'g') by a warm-voiced 30-/40-something man. They should've just gone the whole hog and used a rapping vicar, at least that would've been entertaining.

Microsoft makes money in spite of its marketing.
posted by malevolent at 10:55 AM on September 23, 2009


I'm booting up so you better get this party started. Hang on... Hang on... Just another few minutes. OK write this down: 0x000007b.
posted by Elmore at 10:59 AM on September 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


It so funny watching these people who clearly just met each other five minutes ago and have nothing in common pretending like they're old friends.

I wonder if this entire video is ironic. Like Microsoft figured if they made a hilariously awkward video it would get a ton of views, whereas a more straightforward video probably wouldn't be seen by as many people.
posted by delmoi at 11:06 AM on September 23, 2009


^^ My party got shut down -- not by the fuzz, but by Windows Genuine Advantage.

^^ I'm booting up so you better get this party started. Hang on... Hang on... Just another few minutes. OK write this down: 0x000007b.


These are great, more please
posted by memebake at 11:23 AM on September 23, 2009


PenDevil: "So who's going to upload photos of people installing Gentoo"

How about Ubuntu instead?


Anyone want to have a linux installation party to counter the windows parties?

I'll get started on some moonshine.
posted by fuq at 11:31 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Ha ha! Let's all make fun of Windows!

Sure as an O/S it has the largest install base in the world, it still remains the best combination of compatibility, ease of use and reliability. Sure there is far more software available for it than any other platform, but your derision is sure to teach Microsoft a lesson!

Actually no, they will sell a billion copies and Linux and Mac will remain fringe elements of the O/S war for another decade.

Sorry if I'm not cool enough to hate on it.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:31 AM on September 23, 2009


best combination of compatibility, ease of use and reliability

There might be some disagreement here.
posted by xmutex at 11:35 AM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Finally, I come back here ready to say "nuh uh" when I realize you meant the "messages from customer" stuff. You were using "girls" to mean "somewhat dim-witted people who like chocolate".

Uhm, he was using "girls" to refer to girls. Females. Know of them?
posted by xmutex at 11:37 AM on September 23, 2009


At least 3 people on my Twitter feed have announced Windows 7 parties. If they are in earnest, I might have to do some culling.
posted by desjardins at 11:37 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


WinnipegDragon
posted by The Whelk at 11:37 AM on September 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


There might be some disagreement here.

Right, Macs never crash and Linux is easy to use. That's why they dominate the market...
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:40 AM on September 23, 2009


... best combination of compatibility, ease of use and reliability ...

Dude, what planet have you been living on?

Though I guess statements like that are a good way to make people lose their shit.
posted by chunking express at 11:46 AM on September 23, 2009


Wait, is this a Mac Vs PC internet argument? Oh God dammit! I've traveled back in time again!

Well, since I'm here, hey you! Little Whelk! If you post any more Picard vs Shatner nonsense to Usenet I swear to GOD I'll beat you so hard I'll feel it.
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on September 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


Also, did you not watch that video? It is ridiculous, irrespective of how awesome or not awesome Windows 7 is.
posted by chunking express at 11:51 AM on September 23, 2009


chunking express,

The video is clearly nuts, I don't dispute that. What pisses me off is a good portion of the commenters took the opportunity to pile right on Windows.

I'm no fanboy either. I'm all AIX at work, and I have a fair number of Apple products as well, but the "hurf durf windows blows" bullshit gets on my nerves. Some people will run over their own mothers for a chance to pile on anything from MS.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:56 AM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]




I see the windows crash/blue screen type of jokes are more of a long running meme than an actual critique of the product.

(NOT OPERATINGSYSTEMIST)
posted by memebake at 12:01 PM on September 23, 2009


This party needs your permission to continue.

If you started this action [Snacking on Chips], continue.
posted by anthom at 12:02 PM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


^^ 'are' should be 'as' in my post above
posted by memebake at 12:04 PM on September 23, 2009


Jokes that make fun of Linux are funnier because exactly 0.5% of your audience know what the heck you are even talking about.
posted by idiopath at 12:06 PM on September 23, 2009


... and with an impeding outbreak of H1N1 these parties could be a good opportunity to spread some viruses too!
posted by mazola at 12:11 PM on September 23, 2009


Actually no, they will sell a billion copies and Linux and Mac will remain fringe elements of the O/S war for another decade.

99.9% of p the people who use Windows never voluntarily buy it.
posted by PenDevil at 12:12 PM on September 23, 2009


99.9% of p the people who use Windows never voluntarily buy it.

I'd love to see, you know, a cite to back that up.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 12:20 PM on September 23, 2009


As I watched this, I was having difficulty trying to figure out what it was about the acting and the script that made me wince. There's something distinctly alien about the whole thing - as if it were created by people who don't really know how people talk, and behave. I think this is Microsoft's Turing test.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:20 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm hosting a launch party. No joke. I applied a few months ago and forgot all about it until I got an email telling me that I made the cut. The only reason I did it was for the free Windows 7 Ultimate edition, signed by Bill Gates himself.

Really, it's just going to be me and my friends having a normal party. Though maybe I'll play that video and turn it into the drinking game mentioned above.
posted by lohmannn at 12:21 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone want to have a linux installation party to counter the windows parties?

I'll get started on some moonshine.


I actually had one of these with a friend of mine who'd tried the Mint 6 Live CD for a few weeks and was ready to install it over Windows XP. We drank, listened to music, and watched the CD write itself onto his hard drive. 15 minutes later, it was done. I basically continued drinking while watching him play around with it and enjoying using his machine for the first time. Then I got bored of watching him have fun with his laptop, and decided they needed some time alone, so I left.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:26 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


99.9% of p the people who use Windows never voluntarily buy it.

73% of statistics are made up. Everyone knows that.

But hey, while you're making things up to get favorites why stop there ?

- Windows costs eleventy hojillion times as much as OSX does to maintain.
- Apple makes products cool people want, not evil kitten stomping corporate overlords and their stupid IT drones.
- LOL M$ TOTALLY SUXX0R$, NUB! AMIRITE L2COMPUTE!
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 12:28 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Stop picking on the multi-billion dollar corporation!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:29 PM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


99.9% of p the people who use Windows never voluntarily buy it.

I'd love to see, you know, a cite to back that up.


YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET LAID AND/OR POT
posted by dirigibleman at 12:34 PM on September 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


What pisses me off is a good portion of the commenters took the opportunity to pile right on Windows.

Hey, don't be such a party-pooper.
posted by Elmore at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2009


YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET LAID AND/OR POT

LOL D00D PILE ON AND GET MADD FAOVRITES!

Seriously...
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:09 PM on September 23, 2009


Man, for a second there, I thought this wasn't going to turn into a Mac vs. Linux debate. Phew!
posted by !Jim at 1:11 PM on September 23, 2009


Also: vs. Windows
posted by !Jim at 1:11 PM on September 23, 2009


Man, for a second there, I thought this wasn't going to turn into a Mac vs. Linux debate. Phew!

Yeah, the first comment isn't a shot at Windows or anything.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:20 PM on September 23, 2009


WinnipegDragon, I'm something of a Windows fan. Well not exactly a fan, it's hard to get really excited about Windows, but I choose to use it and I like it better than the alternatives and I have a lot of respect for Microsoft's technical achievements. I even have great fun poking fun at my friends in the Cult of Jobs, particularly when Snow Leopard came out and broke a bunch of shit without really adding any value to the user. There's few things as fun as trolling Apple fans on Twitter and Facebook, although it is a bit too easy.

However, you need to climb down off the cross. It's OK to make fun of Microsoft too, particularly when they make such hideous marketing attempts as this one.

What's both funny and a bit sad is an Apple release party would be greeted by the Mefi community as a great and cool thing. The music would be hip, the drinks would be fresh, the black guy wouldn't look so awkwardly out of place. Maybe that stoner chick would show up and we could score! But here's the thing, the only real difference between Apple and Microsoft as corporate entities is that Apple hasn't been convicted of abusing their monopoly yet.
posted by Nelson at 1:20 PM on September 23, 2009


Nelson,

The anti-MS cultists have been grinding their axes all day. Mine is just getting a light deburring.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:26 PM on September 23, 2009


Anti-MS cultists? Is this International Hyperbole Day or something?

People make jokes about a corporation and its operating system. I've been using a Linux distro for two years now and I'll still happily make jokes about it. Lighten the fuck up.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:28 PM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Cultists was an intended as a humorous term. Relax.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:35 PM on September 23, 2009


Look, I've said my bit. I don't want to derail, in fact my entire point was pointing out that the instant pile on of Window jokes is a derail in and of itself.

Clearly this is getting beyond that. My apologies, let it go. Happy hugs all around.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:37 PM on September 23, 2009


People appreciate humor about what they can relate to, especially mockery of things that are common frustrations, which any operating system provides you in massive amounts.

You see more windows jokes because there are more windows users.
posted by idiopath at 1:37 PM on September 23, 2009


Look, I've said my bit. I don't want to derail, in fact my entire point was pointing out that the instant pile on of Window jokes is a derail in and of itself.

Alright, well, thanks for keeping the ball rolling so long.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:43 PM on September 23, 2009


Alright, well, thanks for keeping the ball rolling so long.

Wasn't that long. An hour or two, tops.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:45 PM on September 23, 2009


I am pretty sure there are Linux release parties too. Is it any coincidence that so many Linux users get drunk every single night, and there is a new nightly build of the official upstream kernel every night?
posted by idiopath at 1:45 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am pretty sure there are Linux release parties too. Is it any coincidence that so many Linux users get drunk every single night, and there is a new nightly build of the official upstream kernel every night?

I only know two good Linux jokes:

chown -R us ./*base

and

chmod +rwx yourmom

If you want to see people making fun of Linux, just look to any Gnome vs KDE thread. It's like Sharks vs. Jets, with less dancing.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:49 PM on September 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


a ha! Let's all make fun of Windows!

Sure as an O/S it has the largest install base in the world, it still remains the best combination of compatibility, ease of use and reliability. Sure there is far more software available for it than any other platform, but your derision is sure to teach Microsoft a lesson!

Actually no, they will sell a billion copies and Linux and Mac will remain fringe elements of the O/S war for another decade.

Sorry if I'm not cool enough to hate on it.


Mr. Ballmer, your room is ready. Follow me, please.
posted by dbiedny at 2:16 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, if you want a real fight: browser wars.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:28 PM on September 23, 2009


I kinda have an idea.

Would it be in poor taste to host one of these "parties" at an independent (i.e., not controlled by The Mothership in Cupertino) Apple store? As kind of a goof? And have the token Windows 7 PC (a Mac, of course) available for customers to "play with," surrounded by a bunch of other Macs running Snow Leopard, so that you're ultimately won over by the Macs?

Or maybe follow lohmannn's idea above, and do the minimal, requisite token stuff (play the video, have a Windows 7 machine to play with), but otherwise ignore it while having a "normal party?"

I'm thinking it could be kind of a fun, semi-subversive little thing that only an independent Apple reseller could get away with. And I can make it happen. I've got contacts, man . . . contacts.
posted by CommonSense at 2:32 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


This does a better job of making PCs/Windows look dorky than 10 years' worth of those "I'm a Mac" commercials ever could.

Funny how the only MS commercials that rate MeFi posts are dorky crap. There is at least one that is better than any of the "I'm a Mac" commercials: I click, it's better.

Now, it is disingenuous as hell, obviously, but then so are those apple commercials. And, it did take them something like 2 years to come up with a response, which is pathetic. But, it is a great commercial.

For the record, I think maybe she says "I like PC and I'm four and a half", rather than "I'm a PC". Just a little more subtle that way, but maybe I'm giving them too much credit.

Honestly, the only thing dorkier than a dorky Windows commercial is the dorky response from apple fan boys on MetaFilter.
posted by Chuckles at 2:39 PM on September 23, 2009


YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET LAID AND/OR POT

INFORMATION: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:51 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, if you want a real fight: browser wars.

Whatever you like, I dislike, you $BROWSER NAZI!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 2:55 PM on September 23, 2009


Because nothing's more fun than having your friends try to sell you things.

The business miodel behind Bzzagent previously - 1 | 2

'The Hidden (in Plain Sight) Persuaders.'
posted by ericb at 3:10 PM on September 23, 2009


*model*
posted by ericb at 3:10 PM on September 23, 2009


That must suck on ajaxy sites. Personally, I can't imagine the table alignments right.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 3:10 PM on September 23, 2009


Oh dear Lord that was cringeworthy.
posted by flippant at 3:13 PM on September 23, 2009




Where's my interrobang?

Ah, here it is.


posted by chairface at 3:47 PM on September 23, 2009


Flipping brilliant Flippant
posted by Elmore at 3:54 PM on September 23, 2009


This clever little reinterpretation of the video is much more entertaining.

I literally clicked favorite 5 times.
posted by Adam_S at 4:11 PM on September 23, 2009


This clever little reinterpretation of the video is much more entertaining.

As previously posted above.
posted by ericb at 4:15 PM on September 23, 2009


Tried to flag post as fantastic, but the malware wouldn't let me.
posted by porn in the woods at 4:45 PM on September 23, 2009


lohmannn: "I'm hosting a launch party. No joke. I applied a few months ago and forgot all about it until I got an email telling me that I made the cut. The only reason I did it was for the free Windows 7 Ultimate edition, signed by Bill Gates himself.

Really, it's just going to be me and my friends having a normal party. Though maybe I'll play that video and turn it into the drinking game mentioned above.
"

YOU MUST PROVIDE US PiCTURES OF THE PARTY KIT. IT IS SO DECREED!
posted by JHarris at 4:56 PM on September 23, 2009


flippant: "This clever little reinterpretation of the video is much more entertaining."

It's a repost of the thing chunking express posted a few comments in.

Adam_S: "I literally clicked favorite 5 times."

I clicked it six times. But afterwards it wasn't favorited at all! TECH SUPPORT PLZ.
posted by JHarris at 5:01 PM on September 23, 2009


There must be a fair few fluffs and bloopers from this. I couldn't help but notice the digital clock on the oven and the 6:14 minute advert took 1 hour and 43 minutes (clock shows 3:30 at the start and 5:13 at the end). There were some retakes too, at 1:11 into the clip the clock shows 3:32 but at 1:01 the clock was showing 4:03.

My name is tellurian and I am a continuity freak.
posted by tellurian at 5:38 PM on September 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Upon reading this thread I see that nightwood has already been there.
I dispute the ending time though, look at frame 6:04.
posted by tellurian at 5:59 PM on September 23, 2009


I don't want to start a holy war here, but what is the deal with you Windows 7 fanatics? I've been sitting here at my freelance gig in front of a Windows 7 box (a Quad Xeon w/32GB of RAM) for about 5 minutes now while it attempts to copy a 17 Meg file from one folder on the hard drive to another folder. 5 minutes. At home, on my MacBook Pro running Leopard, which by all standards should be a lot slower than this Windows 7 box, the same operation would take about 15 seconds. If that.

In addition, during this file transfer, Firefox will not work. And everything else has ground to a halt. Even Notepad is straining to keep up as I type this.*
posted by porn in the woods at 6:39 PM on September 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


DEAR GOD IS ANYONE ACTUALLY GOING TO HOST ONE OF THESE PARTIES?? 'Cause that would really shatter my worldview if someone really does follows these instructions and throws a party for a computer operating system.
posted by zardoz at 6:47 PM on September 23, 2009


*Shaves 7 into chest hair*

*Drunkenly hits on laptop*

*Pukes on couch*
posted by dirigibleman at 7:41 PM on September 23, 2009


The Register imagines a Windows 7 party.
posted by acb at 3:32 AM on September 24, 2009


It is hard not despair at the state on Western civilization after watching this.
posted by vac2003 at 3:53 AM on September 24, 2009


Burhanistan - You wussies use a browser? I just scan the raw html and imagine what the page would look like if rendered.

As it happens, Autechre did have a browser made for them which displayed the raw HTML with the links clickable made by a friend of mine back in the day. Strange but true.
posted by asok at 5:20 AM on September 24, 2009


I've watched it all now and it is epic in weirdness. Waves of confusion wash over me: Are they serious? Ironic? Faking ironic seriousness? This was expensive and well produced except it was ill conceived from the start. Was everyone just following orders? Is there a catatonic man leading the marketing effort for Windows 7? Am I falling into an elaborate trap by even talking about this? Why did the let the clock run freely? Did legal demand they insert that dubbed comment about calling customer service? Does that mean the actually watched it and approved?

It's like a fine thriller but only if you think about it, yet it discourages thinking at every turn.
posted by chairface at 10:49 AM on September 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Greetings from the Emotional Uncanny Valley!
posted by Pronoiac at 12:16 PM on September 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


I'm currently participating in a certain European multimedia tech conference, at which Microsoft are a major sponsor.

What follows is extracted from an email sent by their marketing division, which I have hauled out of the trash and reproduced for your enjoyment. Say what you like about these people, they know how to throw a party. I can hardly wait.
The Web is of crucial importance to you. That’s why you are receiving this message to ensure you know that there is something going on @ the Microsoft Creative Park in the P***** Club (******) which just may be very interesting for you.

Microsoft and the Web, we have come a long way and our relationship keeps getting better. Ranging from new possibilities in interacting with the audience to breath-taking visual user experiences, a lot has happened within the Microsoft web stack. And we are taking it one step further.

Hereby, you are invited to attend one of the Silent Disco sessions @ the Creative Park because we feel that you may benefit from what we have to share with you. It will be a worldwide first, and we are excited to share it with you @P*****09 in A******.

Please choose from the list below when it suits you best to come listen to this announcement. It’ll take ten minutes out of your day – we feel they will be worth it.
posted by Elizabeth the Thirteenth at 12:47 PM on September 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Why are they pushing Windows 7 when Vista SP1 is so awesome?
posted by klausness at 3:56 AM on September 26, 2009 [3 favorites]




Excite.com is still around??? That's the REAL news.
posted by desjardins at 2:48 PM on October 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Silent. Disco.

Lets all just absorb that.
posted by The Whelk at 4:05 PM on October 1, 2009


« Older Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive, if you can.   |   Lose/Lose: The Game That Deletes Your Files Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments