Or at least half of one.
October 27, 2009 1:20 PM   Subscribe

Matthias Schlitte is a modern day popeye.

"...by only increasing the size of his one forearm and no other part of his body, he has allowed himself to arm wrestle in lower weight classes, even though his arm is as strong or stronger than much bigger men than him."
posted by lazaruslong (67 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
When I turn my hat around, it's like a switch, a machine turning on.
posted by Scattercat at 1:23 PM on October 27, 2009 [7 favorites]


Fuck symmetry!
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:23 PM on October 27, 2009


I can not imagine that this will not lead to permanent damage somehow.
posted by Think_Long at 1:24 PM on October 27, 2009


Huh, I guess those emails that promise me "you can increase the size of that one special part of your body" are actually true.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 1:24 PM on October 27, 2009 [11 favorites]


Am I the only one who wonders if arm wrestling is just a convenient cover story for that over-developed arm?
posted by codswallop at 1:29 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Wasn't this a Simpsons episode?
posted by fixedgear at 1:30 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow, 4channers arm wrestle too?
posted by ryoshu at 1:32 PM on October 27, 2009


Having watched the actual video, where he lost 1-5 to Ali Khan, his crazy over-developed arm doesn't seem to be doing much for him. Unless, of course, having a truly awesome beard beats a strong arm.
posted by explosion at 1:34 PM on October 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Am I the only one who wonders if arm wrestling is just a convenient cover story for that over-developed arm?
posted by codswallop at 4:29 PM on October 27


What, that he's a right-handed pitcher for the Berlin Overweight Baby Throwing Team?
posted by Pastabagel at 1:34 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


codswallop: Am I the only one who wonders if arm wrestling is just a convenient cover story for that over-developed arm?

It probably made him go blind, too.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:34 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dude is not a modern popeye (that would require both arms) but the full realization of the jokey internet pr0n wizard meme mentioned above. Not in a million years did I expect to see this IRL.
posted by mokuba at 1:35 PM on October 27, 2009


i kind of find this a little effed up. i'd rather lose at arm wrestling.

different strokes and all that, i guess.
posted by clarenceism at 1:35 PM on October 27, 2009


I hope being a decent arm wrestler is worth it.
posted by cmoj at 1:36 PM on October 27, 2009


Metafilter: strap match
posted by toastchee at 1:36 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


why
posted by Eideteker at 1:37 PM on October 27, 2009


different strokes and all that, i guess.

lol
posted by Horace Rumpole at 1:37 PM on October 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


Reminds me less of Popeye and more of one of those crustaceans who grow really big pinchers and then lose one. As the new one grows in, you see this real asymmetry. Yeah, let's call him "Pinchy".
posted by Mental Wimp at 1:41 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


clarenceism: "different strokes and all that, i guess."

*rimshot*
posted by brundlefly at 1:42 PM on October 27, 2009


I am using my 1000th comment on the Blue to emphasize just how much I think that this is creepy and weird, and that I don't like it at all. At all.
posted by Caduceus at 1:43 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


No. When he can turn one bicep into a bowling ball, which he then uses to knock down his opposing bicep, which he has turned into a set of pins, then he'll be a modern-day popeye.

I made a bicep joke because there was too much forearm talk here. I thought this thread needed to be more humerus.
posted by hifiparasol at 1:43 PM on October 27, 2009 [15 favorites]


o_O
posted by not_on_display at 1:48 PM on October 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


His nickname is Hellboy. Who comes up with these apt sports monikers?
posted by intelligentless at 1:49 PM on October 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


The over-sized forearm doesn't freak me out as much as the huge hand. I had no idea you could add that much mass to the hand outside the realm of cartoon physics.
posted by Lokisbane at 1:51 PM on October 27, 2009


Also, his penis is bright orange and he doesn't know why.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:54 PM on October 27, 2009 [3 favorites]


This reminded me of the passage in "The Four-Hour Workweek" (a book that is 50% brilliance, 50% absurdity and insanity) where the author, Tim Ferriss, boasted of having won some major kickboxing title by exploiting some ambiguity in the rules, and changing his weight rapidly through drinking too much water or something.

It's, like, YES WELL DONE. You found a clever loophole. But was it really, really worth the effort?
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 1:57 PM on October 27, 2009


The over-sized forearm doesn't freak me out as much as the huge hand. I had no idea you could add that much mass to the hand outside the realm of cartoon physics.

I believe that happens after years and years of lifting. Your hands have to grow some skin to deal with all the pressure and work and the bone mass becomes stronger after a while, to support the strain from your muscles.

Eventually, he'll retire and/or probably give up training for the sport, and I'm guessing he'll probably still be pretty young when he does. Then what do you do with what you've made of yourself? Seems a bit extreme, because that added bone mass is probably going to stay like that for a long time.
posted by krinklyfig at 1:57 PM on October 27, 2009


heh. added bone mass.
posted by snofoam at 1:59 PM on October 27, 2009 [11 favorites]


Wasn't this a Simpsons episode?

Yep, as well as a Far Side cartoon and a character in Lady In the Water.
posted by brain_drain at 1:59 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


This reminded me of the passage in "The Four-Hour Workweek" (a book that is 50% brilliance, 50% absurdity and insanity) where the author, Tim Ferriss, boasted of having won some major kickboxing title by exploiting some ambiguity in the rules, and changing his weight rapidly through drinking too much water or something.

It's, like, YES WELL DONE. You found a clever loophole. But was it really, really worth the effort?
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 4:57 PM on October 27 [+] [!]


That's kind of weird, because cutting weight isn't a huge secret or anything. It's not a particularly clever loophole.
posted by Comrade_robot at 2:01 PM on October 27, 2009


He didn't lose because of the beard, he lost because of the names. 'Matthias Schlitte' - kind of weak, especially for a German name. 'Ali Khan,' on the other hand? How can a guy with a name like that manage to not kick ass?
posted by echo target at 2:01 PM on October 27, 2009


This reminded me of the passage in "The Four-Hour Workweek" (a book that is 50% brilliance, 50% absurdity and insanity) where the author, Tim Ferriss, boasted of having won some major kickboxing title by exploiting some ambiguity in the rules, and changing his weight rapidly through drinking too much water or something.

Wait ... really? How is anyone supposed to take life or career advice from that example? I can understand the idea behind the book, but that is unrealistic in the extreme if you're going to write a book of advice.
posted by krinklyfig at 2:19 PM on October 27, 2009


I hear that he can deflect bullets with it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:24 PM on October 27, 2009


Uca.
posted by Pecinpah at 2:27 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


"...by only increasing the size of his one forearm and no other part of his body, he has allowed himself to arm wrestle in lower weight classes, even though his arm is as strong or stronger than much bigger men than him."

Ah, what commitment to excellence. It's like failing Grade 6 twenty times so you can kick everyone's ass in intramural soccer.
posted by mazola at 2:29 PM on October 27, 2009 [10 favorites]


guh-ross.
posted by killy willy at 2:32 PM on October 27, 2009


Hilariously creepy. Well done. It totally looks fake.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:36 PM on October 27, 2009


Has anyone noticed that this professional arm wrestler has one real skinny arm?
posted by chavenet at 2:49 PM on October 27, 2009


It's not a particularly clever loophole.

If I remember correctly, that wasn't the loophole. The loophole was that if one competitor manages to knock another out of the ring three times than he wins by default. The author of the book didn't know shit about kickboxing. He just figured out a way to knock his competitors out of the ring without actually knocking them down.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 2:51 PM on October 27, 2009


HAI GUISE I BET HE BEATS OFF A LOT AND THAT'S WHY HE HAS A BIG ARM
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:52 PM on October 27, 2009 [9 favorites]


Having watched the actual video, where he lost 1-5 to Ali Khan, his crazy over-developed arm doesn't seem to be doing much for him. Unless, of course, having a truly awesome beard beats a strong arm.

Correct. As I'm always repeating to the men doing the preacher curls at my gym while I point insistently at my face, awesome beard ALWAYS beats strong arm. ALWAYS. Hey. HEY. Listen. ALWAYS.
posted by Greg Nog at 2:53 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I hereby challenge Matthias Schlitte to an arm-wrestling match.

Left-handed.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:54 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


I met Matthias Schlitte once -- halfway across the sky. For me, it was a new beginning of another life.
posted by Ratio at 3:20 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Man, I would totally develop a routine where I would "hulk out" in bars; make sure the arm is concealed, get angry, try to get the left side of my body highly visible so people can see how skinny I am, drop below people's line of site, switch arm concealment, reappear with my giant fist, and *bam* say hello to a rage fueled Mr. Hyde and free drinks for the rest of the night.
posted by quin at 3:22 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yeah, quin, that is pretty much the plot of the Simpsons episode that I mentioned upthread.
posted by fixedgear at 3:40 PM on October 27, 2009


Christ, what a forearm.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:54 PM on October 27, 2009 [5 favorites]


Forewarned is forearmed.
posted by Ratio at 4:07 PM on October 27, 2009


Does he put a tourniquet at his shoulder to keep the steroids out of the rest of his body?
posted by gottabefunky at 4:22 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


WTF IS UP WITH THOSE FINGERS?
posted by gottabefunky at 4:26 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Just the forearm with a little bicep? Don't they teach about leverage in school anymore?
posted by DU at 4:31 PM on October 27, 2009


All of this and no mention of Trogdor?

Those competitors are real pros. I'm not sure I'd like to touch that guy's arm at all, much less as part of my gig.
posted by jmcmurry at 4:36 PM on October 27, 2009 [2 favorites]


My God. The man looks like a Motie.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:49 PM on October 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Can't decide if this is and example of Idiocracy or Infinite Jest.
posted by drowsy at 5:05 PM on October 27, 2009


I think it's much more likely that Herr Schlitte has a developmental disorder like Proteus Syndrome.
The tipoff that this isn't simply muscular development is that his middle finger is much larger, as is his palm.
Note the linked article has a picture of Joseph Merrick, who had a much larger right hand and arm.
For Mattias' sake, I hope that he doesn't have it.
posted by robomeme at 5:28 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've seen this guy before.
posted by edguardo at 6:00 PM on October 27, 2009


robomeme: This photo looks like it was taken early in the training regimen that got him that crazy-ass arm.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:10 PM on October 27, 2009


Yeah, there's something just off, and i don't mean the symmetry. First, none of your body parts work disconnected from other parts. Beyond that, finding the proper exercises to work in a very specific manner (ie. not involving other parts of the body), to my knowledge is not feasible. And then to gain and retain muscle mass you have to increase caloric intake, and well we all know how that would affect the rest of the body. Also, there's something like a 15 - 20% neurological crossover between the left and right side of the body. Which would leave us with a couple of possibilities. He is somehow able to keep the rest of his body atrophied. He has some kind of diesease. He has a stim machine amped up and working overtime. Or he's doing site injections with some kind of drug cocktail, perhaps some kind of IGF & Growth Hormones (as it appears to me to be a case of Acromegaly).
posted by P.o.B. at 7:31 PM on October 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


So this is what happens when you masturbate too much.
posted by Allan Gordon at 7:57 PM on October 27, 2009


This is either viral, totally hoaxed... or it's steroids. He's totally got the "spade hand" thing going on.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:01 PM on October 27, 2009


See the comments; someone who claims to know him wrote that he has a "blood disorder" that accounts for his enormous arm "kind of like elephantitis." I guess that accounts for his losing to a guy with an arm 1/2 that size, beared though he may be.
posted by cjmchampton at 8:24 PM on October 27, 2009


This is either viral, totally hoaxed... or it's steroids.

First two are pretty demonstrably false, but the last is probably a factor.
posted by lazaruslong at 9:03 PM on October 27, 2009


The fact that the length of his fingers seem significantly different worries me. Considering he's an athlete (of sorts), he probably gets a decent amount of medical attention, but I'd like to see him get an x-ray and some MRIs done, and then get that published as a case study. Either he finds out something is wrong with him (better sooner than later), or he benefits medicine and is recorded in posterity. Win-win.

If the comment about the blood disorder is true, then ignore what I wrote. Still, if I were his doctor, I'd ask for it, and if I were him, I'd totally sign off on it. If you have a disproportionately huge arm that you like to flaunt at arm wrestling competitions (essentially making your unusual trait your star feature), why not share it with medicine?
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:15 PM on October 27, 2009


how do you beat a much bigger guy in arm-wrestling?

magnus samuelsson is how you beat a much bigger guy in arm-wrestling.
posted by facetious at 9:48 PM on October 27, 2009


Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'VE GOT AN ENORMOUS FUCKING ARM
posted by Jofus at 1:54 AM on October 28, 2009 [19 favorites]


This reminded me of the passage in "The Four-Hour Workweek"...

Building up a giant arm to arm wrestle with is a loophole? Huh?

Also, it seems that the muscles in the rest of your body would help when arm wrestling. So maybe he's doing himself a bit of a disservice? IANAAWE.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:16 AM on October 28, 2009


He's like those crabs that have one little claw and one giant claw, which they use for ritualized combat. OMFG he's just like that!
posted by 0xdeadc0de at 7:20 AM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


OMG he's like that masturbating crab in that one Far Side cartoon, you guys!
posted by hincandenza at 4:58 PM on October 28, 2009


This arm-wrestler, he masterbates?
posted by mazola at 9:43 PM on October 28, 2009


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