Meet the man who pats tiger sharks while sitting on a whale
December 6, 2009 10:33 PM   Subscribe

 
Paging Werner Herzog
posted by anigbrowl at 10:49 PM on December 6, 2009 [5 favorites]


Well, sure. But the real question is, DoSharksMatter? And if so, Why?
posted by lazaruslong at 10:54 PM on December 6, 2009


But a Department of Environment and Conservation spokesman warned that touching whales is illegal

That wasn't a whale. That was...um...whale beef.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:58 PM on December 6, 2009


Shark and awwww

sorry.
posted by Crane Shot at 11:07 PM on December 6, 2009 [8 favorites]


Ok, so given a huge whale carcass alongside your boat, tiger sharks will allow themselves to be pet in a non-threatening manner as they consume it. I'm sure this will appear in Natiure soon.
posted by pelham at 11:31 PM on December 6, 2009


dude i'm trying to eat here get your finger out of my eye
posted by gottabefunky at 11:32 PM on December 6, 2009 [4 favorites]


I read that as the snark whisperer.
But no such luck.
posted by joost de vries at 11:35 PM on December 6, 2009 [4 favorites]


Seriously, I'm totally down with not killing sharks rampantly and etc., but why do they need to be "docile" and "tame"? They are literally MADE OF TEETH. This is an animal nature is telling you NOT TO FUCK WITH.
posted by Scattercat at 11:45 PM on December 6, 2009 [14 favorites]


Crikey!

(Too soon?)
posted by Behemoth at 11:59 PM on December 6, 2009


No no, crikey away.
posted by awfurby at 12:35 AM on December 7, 2009


I thought it was a 'funny' video and at any second there would be a punchline, like a huge shark jumping out of the water and eating them all or one guy shoving the other in half in fun, half as validation that the Tiger Sharks won't attack because, you know, they're scavengers not predators and the guy in the water would be devoured while his friends looked on in horror (funny horror)... but no, it's just a bunch of guys on a whale carcass patting sharks that are too busy eating to pay attention. Kind of a let down.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:09 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


".... but then tragedy strikes!"

Cue grating shark music.

Close up of screaming scientist hippie.

Pull back to three screaming scientist hippies with missing left hands.
posted by a non e mouse at 1:48 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here's a video of a shark whisperer who kisses a nurse shark on the mouth and gets kissed back hard.

And a video of a bull shark kissing a guy's calf so passionately that it falls into cute little pieces.

(Seriously, what's with all this foolishness of treating sharks as cuddly wuddly animals who just need a hug?)
posted by Ljubljana at 1:54 AM on December 7, 2009 [2 favorites]


"Tiger sharks are not aggressive and I thought the most effective way to demonstrate that would be by throwing ourselves into the middle of a feeding frenzy,"

That wasn't a feeding frenzy it was an orgy.
While kayaking I've had tiger sharks come up to investigate me to see if I'm food but I've never had the urge to pet them.
posted by Tenuki at 2:14 AM on December 7, 2009


Sorry, messed up the link: bull shark biting a shark expert's calf
posted by Ljubljana at 2:24 AM on December 7, 2009


"Tiger sharks are not aggressive and I thought the most effective way to demonstrate that would be by throwing ourselves into the middle of a feeding frenzy", said a guy who did nothing of the kind. instead, he sat safely on top of a whale carcass, careful to only pet the sharks when their mouths were fully clamped down on the whale's sides, so that the sharks were effectively gagged and unable to bite them.

Not that I'd care to do that myself, but they are hardly throwing themselves into the middle of feeding frenzy. They are safely above it.

(Ljubljana, both your links go to the kissy-face shark.)
posted by IAmBroom at 2:45 AM on December 7, 2009


Never mind, Ljubljana...
posted by IAmBroom at 2:45 AM on December 7, 2009


Crikey!

I play a StingRay just to be sure.
posted by Wolof at 3:00 AM on December 7, 2009


My neighbour's cat clawed my hand yesterday.
posted by srboisvert at 3:42 AM on December 7, 2009 [4 favorites]


Were you standing on a whale carcass when this happened?
posted by From Bklyn at 4:07 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone else notice how "whispering" seems to be moving slowly up the food chain. Started off with Horse Whisperers and Dog Whisperers, and now we're on sharks and lions.

I would like to nominate myself as the Human Whisperer. Because, you know, man is the deadliest animal.</whisper>
posted by seanyboy at 4:17 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


Of course they won't attack during a feeding frenzy. Try petting them when they're in the middle of a hunger frenzy.
posted by DU at 5:17 AM on December 7, 2009 [2 favorites]


"...throwing ourselves into the middle of a feeding frenzy."

What? Um, no. You stood by just out of harms way. You have to get wet to be in the middle of a feeding frenzy.
posted by scottatdrake at 7:01 AM on December 7, 2009


Related: Putting sharks in a "tonic" state. It's kind of hard to really be sure, what with sharks not having facial muscles or tails to wag, but they kind of seem like they enjoy being put out like that.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:45 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like Burhanistan's sharks. These other ones just seemed kind of annoyed.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:53 AM on December 7, 2009


Orcas are about the most dangerous creatures on the planet, and they don't mess with people unless they're provoked good and hard. Why this is, no-one knows. Maybe they're smart enough to recognize a species capable of extinction-level retaliation.

This means that idiots get suspicions that other mega-fauna just want to be friendly and cuddly, too... and that leads to "Grizzlyman" getting both himself and his girlfriend eaten. The Shark Whisperer is headed in the same direction.

Maybe the Orcas are friendly for this purpose... "Dude! Don't eat him! I want to see one of them try to pet a great white."
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:00 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe they're smart enough to recognize a species capable of extinction-level retaliation that doesn't have a thick, juicy layer of subcutaneous fat.
posted by DU at 8:18 AM on December 7, 2009


Speaking as a mother, those young male researchers are...grounded!!!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 8:32 AM on December 7, 2009 [2 favorites]


Pathetic!
posted by lalochezia at 9:08 AM on December 7, 2009


Here's a video of a shark whisperer who kisses a nurse shark on the mouth and gets kissed back hard.

Call off the search, we've found our King of Douches. That video really rubbed me in the wrong way.
posted by Rhomboid at 9:51 AM on December 7, 2009


"Tiger sharks are actually considered scavengers, not predators. And this research team decided the best way to demonstrate this was by throwing themselves right into the middle of a feeding frenzy, perched above the water where the sharks could not possibly eat them."
posted by fusinski at 10:03 AM on December 7, 2009


What could possibly go wrong?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:10 AM on December 7, 2009


The original shark whisperer
posted by stormpooper at 10:26 AM on December 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


"...throwing ourselves into the middle of a feeding frenzy." I was laughing until I heard him say that. So, I stopped because I thought the real show was about to start... I was thinking, "So, you guys chickening out?" Yep. Pussies.
posted by uraniumwilly at 10:59 AM on December 7, 2009


One of my favorite bad shark movies? Deep Blue Sea.
One of my favorite Deep Blue Sea quotes? No, what you've done is taken God's oldest killing machine and given it will and desire. What you've done is knocked us all the way to the bottom of the goddamn food chain. It's not a great leap forward in my book.

Awesome.
posted by willmize at 11:15 AM on December 7, 2009


Do sharks purr?
posted by Danf at 1:31 PM on December 7, 2009


That's not purring, that's growling friendly-like.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:11 PM on December 7, 2009


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