Help, I'm bored
December 9, 2009 11:59 AM Subscribe
Help: I want to say something to someone • I am worried about my penis size • I am not funny • I am addicted to the internet • I'm involved in a long distance relationship • I'm racist • I'm not familiar with Alessandro Moreschi • I am being followed by a dog.
Metafilter: Help; I'm drunk, I'm dumb, and I have too much money?
posted by june made him a gemini at 12:01 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by june made him a gemini at 12:01 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Help, I'm wondering why a box of non-dyed ibuprofen is a net improvement.
posted by blucevalo at 12:07 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by blucevalo at 12:07 PM on December 9, 2009
Hey, I thought it was against the rules to turn your own comment into a tagline.
posted by Jaltcoh at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by Jaltcoh at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
Stop this upsets me.
this will do just fine, thank you.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2009
this will do just fine, thank you.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2009
HELP
I have 10,000 gross of cheap analgesics and band-aids that I need to convince people to overpay for.
posted by googly at 12:10 PM on December 9, 2009
I have 10,000 gross of cheap analgesics and band-aids that I need to convince people to overpay for.
posted by googly at 12:10 PM on December 9, 2009
So I went to the homepage and I kept clicking all the boxes until they were all the same, and it redirected me to an OCD help center.
posted by HumanComplex at 12:11 PM on December 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by HumanComplex at 12:11 PM on December 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
Ha ha, randomness! Monkey cheese!
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:12 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:12 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
help
I need
somebody
help
Not just
anybody
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:16 PM on December 9, 2009 [12 favorites]
I need
somebody
help
Not just
anybody
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:16 PM on December 9, 2009 [12 favorites]
"Sorry foreigners. We will be with you and your charming accents soon."
o_O
posted by jessamyn at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
o_O
posted by jessamyn at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Hey, I thought it was against the rules to turn your own comment into a tagline.
it totally is. june made him a gemini is disqualified.
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on December 9, 2009
it totally is. june made him a gemini is disqualified.
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on December 9, 2009
june made him a gemini doesn't care about your rules, man!
posted by Naberius at 12:24 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Naberius at 12:24 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
This site captures the hopelessness of the human experience.
posted by reenum at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by reenum at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2009
He's young, he's wild and he's free!
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2009
CLUB 2 IS THE BEST SUCK IT OTHER CLUBS
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:28 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:28 PM on December 9, 2009
Help, I have no purpose.
Press this button.
Thank you.
That one made me smile. Interesting site, thanks for sharing.
posted by too bad you're not me at 12:28 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Press this button.
Thank you.
That one made me smile. Interesting site, thanks for sharing.
posted by too bad you're not me at 12:28 PM on December 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Snark all you want, but I know where I'm going next time I have an annoying song stuck in my head.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:29 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Navelgazer at 12:29 PM on December 9, 2009
Is my Pepsi Blue?
posted by evilgenius at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by evilgenius at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2009
Help, I need to market my product virally.
I like the philosophy of the brand, offering good quality generic medicine without unnecessary colors or fillers and in a recyclable container. However, I'd probably just go for the store brand, and I think most other people will stick with the name brand or go with the store's generic.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2009
I like the philosophy of the brand, offering good quality generic medicine without unnecessary colors or fillers and in a recyclable container. However, I'd probably just go for the store brand, and I think most other people will stick with the name brand or go with the store's generic.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2009
I can help.
posted by vapidave at 12:34 PM on December 9, 2009
“The healthcare industry has done a horrible job in presenting itself to the world,” says Fine. “On one end of the spectrum, you have drugs with all sorts of scary warnings like ‘may cause insomnia or rectal bleeding,’ but that really work. On the other end, you have herbal and homeopathic remedies that are nice and friendly but that don’t really work. We took the tone from one and the effectiveness from the other.”Not quite ready to trust the honesty of his intent, but congratulations at least on being entertaining.
One way they differentiate themselves is with their fresh perspective on the health industry. “In the biggest sense, American healthcare is much too complicated. You spend 15 percent of your G.D.P. on it, and health rates are worse than in other countries. A healthcare bill with a robust public plan that everyone can sign up to is the best way to simplify.”
posted by vapidave at 12:34 PM on December 9, 2009
I closed the window and began the healing process.
posted by ottereroticist at 12:49 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by ottereroticist at 12:49 PM on December 9, 2009
This is the best new website I've seen since right before I saw this website.
posted by The Straightener at 1:00 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by The Straightener at 1:00 PM on December 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
it totally is. june made him a gemini is disqualified.
Well that's good.
june made him a gemini doesn't care about your rules, man!
*is flummoxed*
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:15 PM on December 9, 2009
Well that's good.
june made him a gemini doesn't care about your rules, man!
*is flummoxed*
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:15 PM on December 9, 2009
This is perfect for a cranky rainy afternoon, thanks.
posted by oinopaponton at 1:24 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by oinopaponton at 1:24 PM on December 9, 2009
No way!
No way in hell!
I swear, not 24 hours ago,me and a friend were talking about making a social-like website just like this as a way for people to vent and get help.
Crap ...
posted by Relay at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2009
No way in hell!
I swear, not 24 hours ago,me and a friend were talking about making a social-like website just like this as a way for people to vent and get help.
Crap ...
posted by Relay at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2009
I feel like there is a whole lot more here than meets the eye. The "sincere apologies" on the "help I have allergies" page leads to a popup apologizing to sneeze fetishists, and offers "www.helpihaveasneezingfetish.com" in assistance. Whoever these people are, they certainly know their audience.
posted by Mizu at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Mizu at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2009
help
I hate my job
>What is your bosses name?
[bosses name]
>What does your boss look like?
[one-word, half-hearted description]
>What is your bosses e-mail address?
...maybe I don't hate my job THAT much.
posted by owtytrof at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
I hate my job
>What is your bosses name?
[bosses name]
>What does your boss look like?
[one-word, half-hearted description]
>What is your bosses e-mail address?
...maybe I don't hate my job THAT much.
posted by owtytrof at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
Help, I don't get Metafilter!
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by june made him a gemini at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2009
This website reminds me of Radiohead.com back in its early days.
posted by Menomena at 3:13 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Menomena at 3:13 PM on December 9, 2009
I thought this was going to be one of those touchy-feely sites catering to people who were reaching out for help. Nope. It makes fun of them instead.
posted by Mike Buechel at 3:35 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by Mike Buechel at 3:35 PM on December 9, 2009
If anything, I'm even more worried about my penis size.
This site is no help at all!
posted by bpm140 at 4:23 PM on December 9, 2009
This site is no help at all!
posted by bpm140 at 4:23 PM on December 9, 2009
Please tell me, there's one subtitled "I need somebody..."
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on December 9, 2009
Mizu: she's just a *child*! That's disgusting.
Oh dear. I didn't mean to suggest sexualized fetish but more of the fetish of worshipping something because of its talismanic powers.
Let me stop before I get into more trouble for things I didn’t intend.
posted by mistersquid at 5:36 PM on December 9, 2009
Oh dear. I didn't mean to suggest sexualized fetish but more of the fetish of worshipping something because of its talismanic powers.
Let me stop before I get into more trouble for things I didn’t intend.
posted by mistersquid at 5:36 PM on December 9, 2009
I can't get the box of evil to work. But ima keep trying.
posted by carsonb at 7:06 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by carsonb at 7:06 PM on December 9, 2009
Viewed through an iPhone all I see is a green blotch with the word Biodegrading, and an advancing timer now over 117 days. Uh, yay?
posted by waraw at 8:33 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by waraw at 8:33 PM on December 9, 2009
help, i kinda dig that green font -- if you know its name please mefimail
posted by 3mendo at 9:10 PM on December 9, 2009
posted by 3mendo at 9:10 PM on December 9, 2009
I like the button that tries to help you have a headache. That is funny to me.
posted by damehex at 12:45 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by damehex at 12:45 AM on December 10, 2009 [1 favorite]
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posted by june made him a gemini at 12:00 PM on December 9, 2009