BoarCroc! DogCroc! DuckCroc! Pancake Croc! RatCroc!
December 14, 2009 1:49 PM Subscribe
"A suite of five ancient crocs, including one with teeth like boar tusks and another with a snout like a duck’s bill, have been discovered in the Sahara."
Abstract and PDF of paper
You can find a ginormous list of stories about the find here.
Abstract and PDF of paper
You can find a ginormous list of stories about the find here.
DogCroc is horrifying! I hate DogCroc.
posted by painquale at 1:56 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by painquale at 1:56 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Goddamn, this is like a supplement to the Monster Manual.
posted by boo_radley at 2:01 PM on December 14, 2009 [16 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 2:01 PM on December 14, 2009 [16 favorites]
Let me show you to your suite, sir... your suite of crocodiles.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:02 PM on December 14, 2009 [9 favorites]
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:02 PM on December 14, 2009 [9 favorites]
The sketches of the crocs are far more beautiful than the documentary portrays them to be.
posted by Malice at 2:03 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by Malice at 2:03 PM on December 14, 2009
color me relieved; i was expecting something much more frightening.
posted by wreckingball at 2:08 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by wreckingball at 2:08 PM on December 14, 2009
Pride of Lions
Murder of Crows
Suite of Crocs
posted by Babblesort at 2:09 PM on December 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
Murder of Crows
Suite of Crocs
posted by Babblesort at 2:09 PM on December 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
I meant to mention that the co-discoverer is Paul Sereno, a guy who appears to have a knack for describing neat, new stuff... like the gigantic Sarcosuchus (aka SuperCroc) and the oldest known dinosaur fossil: Eoraptor.
Oddly enough, he was also one of People's most beautiful people in 1997
posted by brundlefly at 2:09 PM on December 14, 2009
Oddly enough, he was also one of People's most beautiful people in 1997
posted by brundlefly at 2:09 PM on December 14, 2009
OK Kirk, this is the exact proof of evolution that you asked for.
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
posted by Midnight Rambler at 2:10 PM on December 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
posted by Midnight Rambler at 2:10 PM on December 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
Buttons! Here, buttons!
posted by FunkyHelix at 2:11 PM on December 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by FunkyHelix at 2:11 PM on December 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
I can't wait to see how these combine to form VoltronCroc!
posted by Kabanos at 2:20 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Kabanos at 2:20 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Apparently the CaseCamel was also prevalent in the area.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:21 PM on December 14, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:21 PM on December 14, 2009 [7 favorites]
Together, they fight crime. They are... THE CROC SQUAD!
posted by shmegegge at 2:22 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by shmegegge at 2:22 PM on December 14, 2009
Now I really have seen a pancake that could eat me.
posted by mannequito at 2:23 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by mannequito at 2:23 PM on December 14, 2009
Those crocs are cute!
posted by keep_evolving at 2:25 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by keep_evolving at 2:25 PM on December 14, 2009
Contrary to the name, PancakeCroc neither feasted on pancakes nor really resembled a pancake. It just had a very flat mouth. I would have preferred it to be named KansasCroc, as Kansas is flatter than a pancake. (Also, because pancakes are delicious, while this crocodile ... probably not quite the same.)
posted by filthy light thief at 2:29 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 2:29 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
So our current crocodiles are like 200 million years old, right? Which would easily make them contemporaries of these guys... and yet everyone went extinct except the relatively lazy, sluggish ones we know today.
The only explanation is that God was scared shitless by DogCroc and killed him.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:32 PM on December 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
The only explanation is that God was scared shitless by DogCroc and killed him.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:32 PM on December 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
If evolution was real, these things would still be alive.
BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:52 PM on December 14, 2009
BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:52 PM on December 14, 2009
Science is so damn cool.
posted by Medieval Maven at 2:52 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by Medieval Maven at 2:52 PM on December 14, 2009
RatCroc 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996
Ambitious, honest, sincere, generous and able to maintain self-control, but often find it difficult to maintain lasting friendships. Your best match will be with the DragonCroc, MonkeyCroc and OxCroc. Avoid the HorseCroc.
posted by orme at 2:56 PM on December 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
Ambitious, honest, sincere, generous and able to maintain self-control, but often find it difficult to maintain lasting friendships. Your best match will be with the DragonCroc, MonkeyCroc and OxCroc. Avoid the HorseCroc.
posted by orme at 2:56 PM on December 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
Monkeycroc would be the worst of all :(
posted by boo_radley at 3:04 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by boo_radley at 3:04 PM on December 14, 2009
DO NOT WANT. That is some serious nightmare fuel right there...
posted by strixus at 3:08 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by strixus at 3:08 PM on December 14, 2009
I'm with shakespeherian, but my night terrors will revolve more around BoarCroc (which, in a VolCroc situation, due to it's size, would be the chestCroc). Luckily it died out before we showed up, otherwise I'd imagine we'd have been CrocFood, and this would all be MetaCroc.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:16 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by Ghidorah at 3:16 PM on December 14, 2009
"Here you can rotate and zoom their images while you make "rowr! rowr!" noises.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:24 PM"
Roll over, that 's a good doggie. Here's a treat. Not the arm, doggie. just the Milk Bone.
posted by Cranberry at 3:23 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Burhanistan at 2:24 PM"
Roll over, that 's a good doggie. Here's a treat. Not the arm, doggie. just the Milk Bone.
posted by Cranberry at 3:23 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Meh, DogCroc isn't so scary. He eats plants and grubs! I bet he'd like to chase this stick, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he? Go .... getit! Go on boy!
Now, BoarCroc? That's something to make the Velociraptors want to snuggle up with a nice fuzzy blanky.
posted by nonspecialist at 3:29 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Now, BoarCroc? That's something to make the Velociraptors want to snuggle up with a nice fuzzy blanky.
posted by nonspecialist at 3:29 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Oh, man. I wish I had included Burhanistan's rowr! rowr! link. That is great!
Also, I have to agree with nonspecialist in that I don't understand the fear of DogCroc. If nothing else, he seems kinda cute. BoarCroc seems infinitely more terrifying to me.
posted by brundlefly at 3:36 PM on December 14, 2009
Also, I have to agree with nonspecialist in that I don't understand the fear of DogCroc. If nothing else, he seems kinda cute. BoarCroc seems infinitely more terrifying to me.
posted by brundlefly at 3:36 PM on December 14, 2009
You might win more fundies over to evolution just by throwing out that survival of the fittest bullshit. Because clearly it is. Hey sometimes extinction just happens man. Rain falls on the tusked and the relatively lazy/sluggish ok I'm out of shit to say now
posted by rahnefan at 3:40 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by rahnefan at 3:40 PM on December 14, 2009
Sometimes "fittest" is lazy and sluggish.
posted by brundlefly at 3:41 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by brundlefly at 3:41 PM on December 14, 2009
BoarCroc is way scarier than the velociraptors were in Jurassic Park.
Imagine coming face to face with BoarCroc and watching it drool before it ate you.
posted by bwg at 3:41 PM on December 14, 2009
Imagine coming face to face with BoarCroc and watching it drool before it ate you.
posted by bwg at 3:41 PM on December 14, 2009
Metafilter: Sometimes "fittest" is lazy and sluggish.
posted by rahnefan at 3:43 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by rahnefan at 3:43 PM on December 14, 2009
God, we have the coolest planet EVAR.
posted by rtha at 3:47 PM on December 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by rtha at 3:47 PM on December 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
These crocs are freakin' suite.
posted by ORthey at 4:10 PM on December 14, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by ORthey at 4:10 PM on December 14, 2009 [3 favorites]
I took a class with Paul Sereno a few years ago that included a 10 day dig over the summer. I am happy to report that he is just as awesome person as he is a paleontologist.
posted by phunniemee at 4:11 PM on December 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 4:11 PM on December 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
Half-Shark Alligator Half-Man.
posted by The Monkey at 4:20 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by The Monkey at 4:20 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Bullshit. Satan obviously buried fake crocoduck bones in the ground to shake the faith of Kirk Cameron.
posted by Flunkie at 4:25 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by Flunkie at 4:25 PM on December 14, 2009
For his next trick he'll bury a man with no hands next to a banana.
posted by brundlefly at 4:35 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by brundlefly at 4:35 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
rtha's claim will stand until one day, astronauts discover life on a distant planet. That planet is where the BoarCroc migrated to. Unstoppable, they are the top of the food chain on that distant rock. However, with millions of years, evolution has not been idle. The final, garbled transmission from the astronauts, before the silence, reads like this:
Astronaut: (garbled) Johnson's gone, the BoarCrocs (garbled) those huge teeth! We didn't know (static) wings! They can (redacted) fly!
End of transmission.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:12 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Astronaut: (garbled) Johnson's gone, the BoarCrocs (garbled) those huge teeth! We didn't know (static) wings! They can (redacted) fly!
End of transmission.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:12 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Son-of-a... So the CrocoDuck is real? Kirk and Ray are gonna have to cry themselves to sleep.
posted by chairface at 6:52 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by chairface at 6:52 PM on December 14, 2009
BoarCroc!
20-feet long, 8 tons, and able to run as fast as a horse.
Wow 2009 absolutely rules!
BoarCroc FTW FTW FTW
posted by humannaire at 7:59 PM on December 14, 2009
20-feet long, 8 tons, and able to run as fast as a horse.
Wow 2009 absolutely rules!
BoarCroc FTW FTW FTW
posted by humannaire at 7:59 PM on December 14, 2009
Paul Sereno was a hero in my household during my kid's dinosaur phase. He gave a talk in NYC that was later commemorated in cartoon form (.pdf) by the Chicago alumni magazine, complete with commentary from two very excited third-graders. A nice keepsake.
posted by stargell at 8:10 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by stargell at 8:10 PM on December 14, 2009
Clearly the take-away lesson here is, "You don't gotta be awesome, just sluggish and patient."
I can do that.
posted by ErikaB at 8:24 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
I can do that.
posted by ErikaB at 8:24 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Here you can rotate and zoom their images while you make "rowr! rowr!" noises.
How did you know I do that?
posted by _paegan_ at 8:34 PM on December 14, 2009
How did you know I do that?
posted by _paegan_ at 8:34 PM on December 14, 2009
1. Someone find some viable dogcroc DNA.
2. Someone perfect cloning.
3. GET ME A FREAKING DOGCROC! RIGHT NOW! THAT WOULD BE THE COOLEST DAMN PET EVER!
posted by oddman at 9:01 PM on December 14, 2009
2. Someone perfect cloning.
3. GET ME A FREAKING DOGCROC! RIGHT NOW! THAT WOULD BE THE COOLEST DAMN PET EVER!
posted by oddman at 9:01 PM on December 14, 2009
Also, if I ever see a ratcroc I will stomp the hell out of it.
The look like filthy little buggers.
posted by oddman at 9:03 PM on December 14, 2009
The look like filthy little buggers.
posted by oddman at 9:03 PM on December 14, 2009
> PancakeCroc
PlateofBeansCroc? Not yet? Keep digging.
posted by jfuller at 9:17 PM on December 14, 2009
PlateofBeansCroc? Not yet? Keep digging.
posted by jfuller at 9:17 PM on December 14, 2009
stargell: "He gave a talk in NYC that was later commemorated in cartoon form (.pdf) by the Chicago alumni magazine, complete with commentary from two very excited third-graders."
Those two kids were me... are me, to be honest. When I was in elementary school I was a volunteer tour guide at several Dinamation exhibits. Still have all of that rattling around in my head.
posted by brundlefly at 9:30 PM on December 14, 2009
Those two kids were me... are me, to be honest. When I was in elementary school I was a volunteer tour guide at several Dinamation exhibits. Still have all of that rattling around in my head.
posted by brundlefly at 9:30 PM on December 14, 2009
Hey sometimes extinction just happens man. Rain falls on the tusked and the relatively lazy/sluggish ok I'm out of shit to say now
Man, Steven Jay Gould's writing has really gone downhill now that he's dead.
posted by atrazine at 10:28 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Man, Steven Jay Gould's writing has really gone downhill now that he's dead.
posted by atrazine at 10:28 PM on December 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but here's something that didn't hit me till just now: these critters were wandering around during the Cretaceous period, right smack in the middle of *dramatic chord* WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH. I assumed at first that these were from the Permian or the early Triassic, before the Dinosaurs had cemented themselves as the go-to guys as land vertebrates.
I know it's cartoonish to think of Dinosaurs stomping around with everything else a tiny little thing hiding in the shadows, but still... These guys being large, terrestrial non-dinosaurian creatures in the middle of the Cretaceous kinda blows me away. That may just be me being uninformed, but wow. This is all the more impressive to me.
posted by brundlefly at 10:57 PM on December 14, 2009
I know it's cartoonish to think of Dinosaurs stomping around with everything else a tiny little thing hiding in the shadows, but still... These guys being large, terrestrial non-dinosaurian creatures in the middle of the Cretaceous kinda blows me away. That may just be me being uninformed, but wow. This is all the more impressive to me.
posted by brundlefly at 10:57 PM on December 14, 2009
Oh, THAT kind of croc. Yeah, those don't look comfortable... at all.
posted by OrangeSoda at 1:57 AM on December 20, 2009
posted by OrangeSoda at 1:57 AM on December 20, 2009
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