Get smart, stay single....
July 2, 2001 3:53 PM   Subscribe

Get smart, stay single....
Single people stay mentally sharper at the end of their lives than those who are married.
I guess it's time to sell your boy/girl friend.
posted by nonharmful (20 comments total)
 
Um, maybe they were just smarter to begin with.
posted by chino at 4:16 PM on July 2, 2001


On the other hand, other studies have found that people who get married live longer. Hmmm...
posted by Steven Den Beste at 4:57 PM on July 2, 2001


Also on that other hand (as heard on To the Best of Our Knowledge), research has equated having a lifelong partner to be equal to $100,000/year in happiness.
posted by annekef at 5:14 PM on July 2, 2001


I guess there could be some evidence of this.. after all, there was 'research' in the 80s that found the later you first had sex, the more intelligent you generally were.

This seems fair enough, since there's plenty of dopey 14 year old girls walking around pushing babies in prams nowadays.

However, does this mean a 90 year-old nun who has abstained all of her life is super intelligent? Me thinks not. And me also thinks this survey is just padding out some pages in some newspapers because there were no bigger stories to report at the time.
posted by wackybrit at 6:21 PM on July 2, 2001


Old folks in my experience are seldom happy. They (single) may be "smarter" but they are still unhappy. I don't know how smart I am or remain but I am one happy dude. And over 70.
posted by Postroad at 6:36 PM on July 2, 2001


I don't put too much faith in these sorts of studies, but it does seem that my married friends got pretty dopey pretty quick.
Simply going out has become excruciating.

"Where do you want to eat?"
"I dunno, where do you want to eat?"
"I dunno, where do you want to eat?"
"I dunno, where do you want to eat?"
"I dunno, where do you.... you get the idea.*

If not for myself, they'd still be stuck in a feedback loop of consideration/indecsion and would starved to death where they stood.



*Assumeing, of course, that you're single.
posted by dong_resin at 6:59 PM on July 2, 2001


i don't know about dumb, but I know that dogs and love create babytalk in the most sane people...

Who's my honeypie? Who's my sweeetums?
posted by christina at 7:30 PM on July 2, 2001


I think Seinfeld had a "schmoopie".
posted by jpoulos at 8:21 PM on July 2, 2001


Weird. I just read a verbal passage earlier tonight that talked about memory and the elderly--some blame memory loss on retirement, saying that having a job keeps a person constantly thinking, and therefore keeps the memory sharp. Could it be that single people just work longer, because if they retire, they'll just be all by their lonesome?
posted by gramcracker at 8:48 PM on July 2, 2001


...all by their lonesome?

Um, yep. But I think I've found a way to fix that: Senior Citizen Terrorism!

Instead of filling the empty hours with work, drink, or mindless television, we can spend our Golden Years plotting horrific acts of mass-murder and mayhem.

Single? Getting old? Start planning now! A few years of obsessive-compulsive planning can turn you into a walking nightmare! Plus, if you look really grandfatherly or grandmotherly, the SWAT team will pause for a second before shooting you, giving you time to set off the antipersonnel mines.
posted by aramaic at 9:18 PM on July 2, 2001


Tyler Durden, thy name is aramaic.
posted by dong_resin at 9:44 PM on July 2, 2001


I will live forever! I'll be like 300 years old and still be kickin it old skoool! I be like "loosers!", check out my nano-brain!
posted by tiaka at 9:58 PM on July 2, 2001


"sell"?
posted by andrew cooke at 11:53 PM on July 2, 2001


I think it's the kids that come with the marriage that slow the brain activity. Moms trapped at home with little ones, devoid of adult stimulation, dads explaining things like why the wind stops when the car slows down... And forget the social life. I'm as guilty of the "I dunno, where do you want to eat?" syndrome as anyone. Maybe because the only places we go out to eat have playgrounds out front.
posted by JParker at 1:15 AM on July 3, 2001


I think it's the kids that come with the marriage that slow the brain activity. Moms trapped at home with little ones, devoid of adult stimulation, dads explaining things like why the wind stops when the car slows down...

Either you were trying to be funny, or trying to depress me with your soul-less psychobabble. The most intellectually stimulating and fullfilling thing I have done thus far in this life of mine is raise a child. If you find parenting unstimulating then I pray for your offspring.
posted by glenwood at 7:23 AM on July 3, 2001


"...presence of a spouse may be associated with greater burdens for care of the spouse, which may have negative effects on cognition."

"Another discovery was that emotional support from a network of family and friends appeared to slow down mental decline."


With all due respect to CrayDrygu, not being married does not equal lonely or not having a lover.

This just helps my personal beliefs that I would get nothing out of marriage I couldn't have in a long-term, committed relationship.
posted by irishcreme at 7:26 AM on July 3, 2001


I think by "married" they really mean "long term stable relationship". Either that or they're saying Christians are stupid. Hmmmm.... ;-)
posted by andrew cooke at 7:53 AM on July 3, 2001


Either that or they're saying Christians are stupid.

"x (married(x) « Christian(x))
posted by iceberg273 at 8:08 AM on July 3, 2001


If you find parenting unstimulating then I pray for your offspring.

Amen, and amen. And frankly, I can't see how being asked why the wind stops when the car slows down (something I was asked, in not so many words, this morning) can possibly make one less intelligent. That just defies logic.
posted by Dreama at 9:30 AM on July 3, 2001


Hé, CrayDrygu, just move to The Netherlands and you can get married too. (I'm not gay).
;-)
posted by nonharmful at 1:12 PM on July 3, 2001


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