Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma.
February 7, 2010 8:18 PM   Subscribe

 
Spoiler alert: They're all media whores who only care about making more money.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 8:30 PM on February 7, 2010 [20 favorites]


Could be worse. They could be favourite whores.
posted by maudlin at 8:30 PM on February 7, 2010 [21 favorites]


I think those are called "media darlings".
posted by blue_beetle at 8:32 PM on February 7, 2010


Oooh, are you two doing the next commercial?
posted by hackly_fracture at 8:32 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is this the thread where we complain about how mediocre all the Super Bowl ads were?
posted by jabberjaw at 8:39 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


And yes, Coco was asked...
posted by inturnaround at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Conan was also approached for the Coke ad that Monty Burns ended up doing...
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:44 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


First time I saw the Simpsons shilling for something other than Butterfinger. DOn't know how to feel about that.
posted by The Whelk at 8:46 PM on February 7, 2010


Yeah, the simpson's Coke commercial was pretty uncomfortable for me too.

Also, apparently Bud owns the superbowl now.
posted by Think_Long at 8:50 PM on February 7, 2010


Don't have a cow, man!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:50 PM on February 7, 2010


that's cute.
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on February 7, 2010


(if anyone gets that I will die)
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on February 7, 2010


I only watched the last ten minutes of the game, and got up during commercials.

They always say "Watch it for the ads" but frankly, the ads are pretty stupid.
posted by delmoi at 8:55 PM on February 7, 2010


what a great game i had capitalism all the way and they really pulled it out at the end
posted by shakespeherian at 9:00 PM on February 7, 2010 [18 favorites]


Coco was asked...

Still, as the article says, it came at a really inopportune time when Conan was completely unprepared to even consider it - to say nothing of the fact that doing this spot is probably explicitly prohibited by his contract settlement, which prevents him from doing TV until September.

Also, the ad wasn't funny, so why would he want to do it?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:00 PM on February 7, 2010


He does lots of things that aren't funny, like the today show!

(Hey Cokebottle, Coco, Conan The Barbershop- have you thought about taking that multi-million dollar payoff and funding your own show? Cause you did write Marge Vs. The Monorail and I would like to see more of that please.)
posted by The Whelk at 9:03 PM on February 7, 2010


today tonight what's the differen-plop.
posted by The Whelk at 9:03 PM on February 7, 2010


Here's the 2007 one with just Letterman and Oprah.
posted by marsha56 at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2010


Also, the ad wasn't funny, so why would he want to do it?

To be fair, hardly any of the ads were funny. Super Bowl ads are more overrated than the game itself. Also, has the half-time show ever been good?
posted by graventy at 9:12 PM on February 7, 2010


First time I saw the Simpsons shilling for something other than Butterfinger

they've been
at it for a while now.
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 9:13 PM on February 7, 2010


Hey guys, remember that classic superbowl ad?

No, not the bud bowl. You know the one I'm talking about. That one everyone always remembers. The one that really made a difference for the advertiser that ran it.

...

come on, YOU KNOW which one I'm talking about!
posted by shmegegge at 9:16 PM on February 7, 2010


come on, YOU KNOW which one I'm talking about!

The Focus on Family "Tebow" ad, of course.
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:20 PM on February 7, 2010


That 1984 Apple commercial?
posted by joedan at 9:20 PM on February 7, 2010 [4 favorites]


Also, has the half-time show ever been good?

Prince. The last time the Colts played.
posted by Cyrano at 9:26 PM on February 7, 2010


Was also thinking the Apple commercial.
posted by squorch at 9:31 PM on February 7, 2010


media whores -- favorite whores

This is a pet peeve of mine. Using the word 'whore' in this context is just bizarre and it continues a history of focusing on sex workers and not their customers. If someone loves attention, or media, or favorites, they should not be called an attention/media/favorite whore. They should be called an attention john, a media john, etc. "Whores" don't love sex so much that they want it all the time. They get paid. In fact, they have to get paid to do it. Do you know who wants sex so much that they're even willing to pay for it? The Johns. If you love favorites so much that you'll do anything for them, you're a favorite john. There. I said it.
posted by allen.spaulding at 9:34 PM on February 7, 2010 [16 favorites]


Also, has the half-time show ever been good?

Not since the blue star. Or was it purple?
posted by morganannie at 9:37 PM on February 7, 2010


Hey, watching Betty White and Abe Vigoda get knocked on their ancient asses was the highlight of my 2010 television viewing...

And come on, YOU called 1-877-987-6401 and made a date with Barney Stinson in 2016, didn't you?
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:38 PM on February 7, 2010


Allen.spaulding, you have things backwards. the implication is that whores will do anything for money, not sex. Attention whores love attention so much they will degrade themselves for it, as a whore would sell her body for money. Compare the construction to "crack whore".
posted by thedaniel at 9:45 PM on February 7, 2010 [12 favorites]


iAllen.spaulding, you have things backwards. the implication is that whores will do anything for money, not sex.

Nope. The word for that is employee. The term should be crack john. A "crack whore" will do anything for crack. A John will do anything for sex, including paying a stranger for it. The reason we use the word "whore" is because we like to shame those who are already downtrodden and those who have sex - so it's a double whammy despite being textually incoherent. If you will do anything for crack, well, you're in a similar position relative as a John is relative to sex. A "crack whore" ought to describe a dealer - someone who sells something to addicts.
posted by allen.spaulding at 9:48 PM on February 7, 2010


Apparently Abe Vigoda is still alive. And Pete Townsend has a beer belly.
posted by HP LaserJet P10006 at 9:51 PM on February 7, 2010


yeah, daniel has it in terms of grammar construction, but nonetheless alienspaulding is right in pointing out that "whore" gets tossed around in a way that's unpleasant. I guess they go through enough shit without their job title used metaphorically, however creatively
posted by angrycat at 9:55 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, is this related to that sporting event tonight?

I heard there was some sort of sporting event.

Some sort of sport-ball thing, I suppose.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:57 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yeah, Prince's was pretty swell.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:58 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


personally, i found the violin-playing groundhog - or whatever that was - to be the funniest out of today's super bowl xliv commercials betty white getting tackled was also half-entertaining.
posted by nealrodriguez at 10:01 PM on February 7, 2010


Also, has the half-time show ever been good?

The Michael Jackson one was pretty awesome, if only for the two minutes he stands on the stage soaking up the crowd. And it's in the bright daylights. Also funny how the Rose Bowl looks dinky compared to where tonight's game was played (even though it's actually a larger capacity stadium).
posted by smackfu at 10:08 PM on February 7, 2010


Oh, is this related to that sporting event tonight?

I heard there was some sort of sporting event.

Some sort of sport-ball thing, I suppose.


+10,000 COOL POINTS YOU HAVE WON THE INTERNETS
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:08 PM on February 7, 2010 [15 favorites]


The ads this year were so bad. That is all.
posted by dabitch at 10:12 PM on February 7, 2010


if only for the two minutes he stands on the stage soaking up the crowd.

You know who else stood on the stage for a couple of minutes soaking up the crowd before performing?

No, really. He did. Look it up.
posted by Cyrano at 10:17 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


The ads this year were so bad. That is all.

HOW BAD WERE THEY?

<waits patiently>
posted by Evilspork at 10:31 PM on February 7, 2010


So bad, they're still falling.
posted by kenko at 10:35 PM on February 7, 2010


HOW BAD WERE THEY?

Almost as bad as the game.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:36 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is this the thread were we talk about how fucking terrible The Who were?
posted by dhammond at 10:44 PM on February 7, 2010


Yeah, sorry Allen, you're just wrong. I'm not a big fan of the phrase, but the idea is that being a whore is the most degrading thing you can do for money. So if you're an attention whore, you're willing to anything for attention.
posted by empath at 10:53 PM on February 7, 2010


Just once I'd like to see a superbowl halftime show where the lead act isn't 60 years old.
posted by empath at 10:59 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


And of course, if you look at the sentence that inspired your derail, Allen, you'll notice that it says, "They're all media whores who only care about making more money." Yes, you got it bass-ackwards.

PS, the word whore is used in the sense of selling out one's values (as opposed to bona fide you-can-put-your-penis-in-me-for-money prostitution) in the goddamn bible, for christ's sake. It's not exactly a new usage.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:59 PM on February 7, 2010


Is this the thread were we talk about how fucking terrible The Who were?

I'm in. They could've gotten a Who cover band for free that would've sounded ten times better than The Who. Windmilling is cool I s'pose, but yikes that was atrocious.
Also, nothing says sad to me like medleys - a cover band doing a medley is somewhat forgivable, but the original artists? I was embarrassed for them.
posted by hypersloth at 11:32 PM on February 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


I didn't catch the Stupor Bowl this year; I was too busy watching the great football that was on TV.

I mean, Match Of The Day had Chelsea v Arsenal and Birmingham City Blues v Wolverhampton Wanderers. How the hell could I miss that?
posted by koeselitz at 11:57 PM on February 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ha because there are two different sports called football I have never seen that pointed out before
posted by imabanana at 12:27 AM on February 8, 2010 [10 favorites]


I used to be indifferent to Leno. Now I hate him. I wonder if the execs consider that to be progress?
posted by Jimmy Havok at 12:41 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


First time I saw the Simpsons shilling for something other than Butterfinger

Get a Mammogram, Man!
posted by chillmost at 1:00 AM on February 8, 2010


hypersloth: " They could've gotten a Who cover band for free that would've sounded ten times better than The Who. Windmilling is cool I s'pose, but yikes that was atrocious."

You want Up With People?

I'm serious. You want Up With People? Because they're available, motherfucker.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:51 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


And now that I've visited the link, I can say that the effort to amusement ratio here rivals Ishtar.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:01 AM on February 8, 2010


If only Ishtar had been that short!
posted by Faze at 3:57 AM on February 8, 2010


Also, has the half-time show ever been good?

"Ladies and gentlemen! For the next 12 minutes we're gonna bring the righteous and mighty power of the E Street Band into YOUR beautiful home! I want you to step back from the guacamole dip! I wantcha to put the chicken fingers down! And turn your televisions ALLLLLL the way up!...."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:16 AM on February 8, 2010 [5 favorites]


"Also, has the half-time show ever been good?"

There was that time Springsteen's crotch hit the camera.
posted by flatluigi at 5:27 AM on February 8, 2010 [4 favorites]


America, do you remember when Springsteen's crotch came for you?
posted by The Whelk at 5:33 AM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Okay, I'll say this for the crotch shot -- at least the impact didn't make him curl up in a little ball or make him limp away from the mike, feebly saying "take it a sec, Big Man, I gotta recover..." Nah, he just gave an embarrassed little "oopsie!" grin at the camera and got back in the game.

I've kind of become a Bruce fan over the years.</small
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:38 AM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Bruce was good, Prince was good, Paul McCartney was as skim as you can get, Janet Jackson was...well, we all know how that turned out.
posted by josher71 at 5:59 AM on February 8, 2010


Did you guys know that was Ringo Starr's son, Zak Starkey, on the drums for the Who last night? Apparently for a while he was also the drummer for Oasis, who claimed they were better than the Beatles. Maybe they thought if they could get an actual Beatle in the band that would seal the deal, and Ringo Starr's son was the closest they could get.

I thought he looked pretty good on the kit, though.
posted by ekroh at 6:26 AM on February 8, 2010


Zak Starkey's been playing with The Who in live gigs for a while now, actually. Wikipedia says he's been at it since 1994.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:32 AM on February 8, 2010


People hate on Ishtar. It's not that terrible. There have been and continue to be far worse films produced, (example: every Uwe Boll movie). Poor Ishtar.


As for the commercials, they were generally a let down this year. The Oprah/Jay/Dave was a bit of a surprise, for which it gets points, but that's about all it gets.

If people sincerely responded to beer the way Budweiser wants us to believe, we'd be a nation of alcoholics. Essentially, they all behave as Barney on the Simpsons would behave. They also get a double negative for using a longhorn in the clydesdale commercial.
posted by Atreides at 6:34 AM on February 8, 2010


Alcoholics with shitty taste in beer.

There seemed to be a theme of smothering yourself in your most beloved food-stuck this year. It was unnerving.
posted by The Whelk at 6:36 AM on February 8, 2010


A 55 calorie beer is pretty impressive though.
posted by smackfu at 6:37 AM on February 8, 2010




People hate on Ishtar. It's not that terrible. There have been and continue to be far worse films produced, (example: every Uwe Boll movie). Poor Ishtar.

It was pretty awful.

I've always liked Ebert's take on the film:
I don't know if "Ishtar" was clearly a disaster right from the first, but on the evidence of this film, I'd guess it quickly became a doomed project and that going to the set every morning was more like a sentence than an opportunity. It's said this movie cost more than $40 million. At some point, maybe they should have spun off a million each for Hoffman and Beatty, supplied them with their own personal camera crews and allowed them to use their spare time making documentaries about what they were going through.

posted by zarq at 6:55 AM on February 8, 2010


We spent the half-time show admiring Zak Starkey's cymbals and wondered where we could get a set for my wife. What was up with the PA system during the set?
posted by arcticseal at 7:19 AM on February 8, 2010


Nah, he just gave an embarrassed little "oopsie!" grin at the camera and got back in the game.

Nah, Bruce doesn't do "oopsie", EmpressCallipygos.

In my dreams, he goes "shoot, pardon me, ma'am..!" after the crotch thing, then he rips my clothes off.

(Great clip, thanks.)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:23 AM on February 8, 2010


No, not the bud bowl. You know the one I'm talking about. That one everyone always remembers. The one that really made a difference for the advertiser that ran it.

joedan has it. The Apple commercial is the best example. After the commercial appeared Apple became a more mainstream and popular brand, although they never had a large market share. They only topped 10% last year for the first time, thanks to the iPhone.

My understanding is that the Budweiser Clydesdales 9/11 commercial (which only aired once,) generated tremendous positive PR and audience goodwill for the company. Whether that translated directly into sales is a good question. I don't have the figures, but I believe their gross sales had been consistently dropping for at least a decade prior to 2002 and saw a brief rise in 2002 and 2003 before falling again. Their decision to only air it once is also noteworthy, since the company has a history of saturating the airwaves with their Superbowl commercials during the rest of the year's sporting events.

The Terry Tate, Office Linebacker commercial managed to deflect attention from Reebok's sweatshop controversy at the time, and the unbelievably popular Coca Cola / Mean Joe Green commercial resulted in an unusually close partnership between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Coca Cola. The Coca Cola Great Hall at Heinz field is an example.
posted by zarq at 7:31 AM on February 8, 2010


The game was excellent. The Who were OK but not great (maybe slightly better than I expected). And I couldn't see the good commercials because by government won't allow me to, so I saw endless lame promos for the Olympics instead.
posted by rocket88 at 7:37 AM on February 8, 2010


Is this the thread were we talk about how fucking terrible The Who were?

My 9 year old daughter made the comment that The Who's performance should be on AFV.
posted by Sailormom at 7:38 AM on February 8, 2010


My 9 year old daughter made the comment that The Who's performance should be on AFV.

Sharp girl.
posted by grubi at 7:55 AM on February 8, 2010


I was really sort of hoping they'd do My Generation and the massive overpowering intensity of the irony would cause everyone in the stadium to drop dead.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:03 AM on February 8, 2010 [3 favorites]


That stage was AWESOME though. Amazing that it was portable too.

The Who is upstaged by stage at Super Bowl halftime show
posted by smackfu at 8:04 AM on February 8, 2010


So, at this point The Who are neither Mods nor Rockers.
posted by drezdn at 8:20 AM on February 8, 2010


Inturnaround's link about Conan really doesn't make NBC look that good, I mean, they cancelled an episode of Jay's show, then gave him the jet to fly across the country, all so he could be in a commercial for a competing show??

I know they want to rehab his image as much as possible before next month, but cmon, have a little dignity, guys.
posted by dnesan at 8:24 AM on February 8, 2010


So, at this point The Who are neither Mods nor Rockers.

And MeFi-s are apparently both. Or Mockers for short.
posted by mazola at 8:37 AM on February 8, 2010


aaaaaand mazola steals a 46-year-old joke from Ringo.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:39 AM on February 8, 2010


Where is the "Is this something I need a TV to understand" comment? It's my Where's Waldo in these threads.
posted by spec80 at 8:41 AM on February 8, 2010


And that's my 'new' material!
posted by mazola at 8:41 AM on February 8, 2010


spec80, look closer. It's hidden in your very comment!
posted by shakespeherian at 8:42 AM on February 8, 2010


I still have no idea what the Letterman/Winfrey/Leno spot was advertising. Thank you all.
posted by Hogshead at 9:31 AM on February 8, 2010


HP LaserJet P10006: Apparently Abe Vigoda is still alive.

You didn't need a Superbowl commercial to know that, just the internet (since 2001).
posted by mhum at 9:54 AM on February 8, 2010


I didn't watch it, and don't feel like I missed anything.

That said, I no longer feel a bit bummed that The Who aren't playing Coachella this year, as was initially rumored.
posted by markkraft at 9:56 AM on February 8, 2010


Indeed. You've been Bosscocked!
posted by markkraft at 10:14 AM on February 8, 2010


I didn't think the Who weren't bad at all. The stage was especially nice - if only because it prevented "fans" rushing in and looking overly excited next to the stage. The game itself was pretty fun for a Superbowl.

For once, I liked the ads. I guess that past five years had lowered my expectations and I truly only watch the game for the game nowadays. The Betty White ad was good. The gopher ad was funny although I think I've seen it before. It was interesting to even see a Google ad. A Google ad on teevee! Who'da thought? The Leno-Letterman ad wasn't "haha" funny, but it surprised me, and for that, I applaud it. The cars.com ad would have been better except they pulled the same Wes Anderson style stunt last year. I even think one of the Doritos ads wasn't that bad.

Maybe I'm too tired of cynicism, but I thought everyone did a swell job last night.
posted by yeti at 11:22 AM on February 8, 2010


As a Chicagoan, I have utterly no sense of humor regarding the Boost Mobile Shuffle. Sacrilege, I tells ya.

I found it cringeworthy and sad. I hope the players got paid well.

Otherwise, I've been spoiled by Olympics opening ceremonies, which tend to be better done spectacles.
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:43 AM on February 8, 2010


I just come for the "lolfootball" vs. "shutup lolfootball troll" whack-a-mole action. I am giving this thread a "C".
posted by everichon at 12:07 PM on February 8, 2010


Several ads last night were misogynist & offensive to all: the guy bearing the torture of shopping with his wife, the Dodge Charger commercial listing the things the Man has to put up with to get his toy, the Bridgestone tire commercial leaving his wife after a misunderstanding of the words "life" and "wife", not to mention the Go Daddy spots. Disgusting.
posted by yeti at 12:15 PM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Is this the thread were we talk about how fucking terrible The Who were?

They could have replayed Prince's performance, that would have been just fine.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:16 PM on February 8, 2010


In the halftime show of a Super Bowl that aired on CBS, The Who played all three of their songs that are now used as theme songs for CSI franchise shows. Just sayin'.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:28 PM on February 8, 2010 [5 favorites]


In the halftime show of a Super Bowl that aired on CBS, The Who played all three of their songs that are now used as theme songs for CSI franchise shows. Just sayin'.

So this is America. They must be out of their minds.
posted by mazola at 12:51 PM on February 8, 2010


Rock Bands Qualified For Future Halftime Shows:

1. "Robert Plant and Jimmy Page of Led Zepplin"
2. "David Gilmore as Pink Floyd"
3. "REM playing only uptempo songs from Green, Out Of Time and Automatic for the People with strong 'recycle' message"
4. "Bob Dylan mumbling through unidentifiable versions of minor hits"
5. "Mick Jones and Mick Jones in special Foreigner/Clash mash-up band"
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


In the halftime show of a Super Bowl that aired on CBS, The Who played all three of their songs that are now used as theme songs for CSI franchise shows.

Pssst! Those songs were popular before CSI.
posted by smackfu at 1:14 PM on February 8, 2010


I guess I am just a geek but I rather liked Sheldon Cooper hacking into the Super Bowl.
posted by Ber at 1:47 PM on February 8, 2010


I didn't think the Who weren't bad at all.

I concur; they were bad. What's with Pete's bizarre, arrhythmic strumming?
posted by Sys Rq at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2010


The Who played all three of their songs that are now used as theme songs for CSI franchise shows

Now funny for different reasons
posted by shakespeherian at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2010




I for one liked The Who raising awareness about memory loss problems, something indubitably close to home, in their performance of "Who Are You?"
posted by klangklangston at 3:09 PM on February 8, 2010


Pssst! Those songs were popular before CSI.

Yes, I'm aware of that. Many other Who songs that they chose not to play were also popular prior to CSI.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:10 PM on February 8, 2010


Didn't know until later that the drummer was Zak Starkey; I thought he was a clone of Keith Moon.
posted by waraw at 3:19 PM on February 8, 2010


The post boob-gate trend toward 40-year-old half-time acts, combined with a statistical analysis of prior shows, strongly indicates that next year's half-time show will be a resurrection of either Carol Channing or Up With People.
posted by rlk at 3:51 PM on February 8, 2010


A 55 calorie beer is pretty impressive though.

Yes, in the same way that sex in a canoe is impressive. They're both fucking close to water.
posted by exogenous at 4:06 PM on February 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


The Focus on the Family ad just made me sad. Not for pregnant women. Not for the unborn.

I felt sad for the guy and his mom. She clearly loves him very much and it's implied he had scrapes with death even before he was born, and he's out playing a sport that could very likely give him a traumatic brain injury.

Ultimately, the ad made me hate football, and want to hug my mom. When I watch the superbowl, I try to get in a pro-football mood, so I guess the only rational action is to hold a (bigger) grudge against FOTF, and continue being pro-choice.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:04 PM on February 8, 2010


She clearly loves him very much and it's implied he had scrapes with death even before he was born, and he's out playing a sport that could very likely give him a traumatic brain injury.


This Slate article talks about their story. She had complications during pregnancy and was advised to terminate, but did not. Its a nice story with a happy ending, but (as the Slate article points out) most women who make the choice she did do not have such a happy ending.
posted by anastasiav at 6:13 PM on February 8, 2010


This Slate article talks about their story. She had complications during pregnancy and was advised to terminate, but did not.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to run a counter-ad:

(lights up on EmpressCallipygos sitting on the edge of a desk)

"Good evening. By now, you've seen the ad from Focus On The Family, starring Tim Tebow's mother relaying the story of her pregnancy. We too were touched by her bravery in choosing to carry Tim to term, even though doctors told her not to.

"Although, we can't help but think -- isn't it a good thing that she had the right make that choice, rather than being forced to do something she didn't want to do?"

(Title across screen reads: "Brought to you by the CAN YOU SAY 'HYPOCRISY?' Foundation Of America")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:50 PM on February 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


*Tebow tackle's EmpressCallipygos, for some reason*
posted by Think_Long at 7:13 PM on February 8, 2010


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