Even more awkward than the Chicago Bears

February 18, 2010 10:52 AM

The Miami-Dade County Justice Department presents the 1988 Miami-Dade County Sex Offender Registry performing "The Sex Offender Shuffle".
posted by Pope Guilty (29 comments total)

Well that was...interesting.
posted by MattMangels at 10:56 AM on February 18, 2010

I liked the part where the big guy snuck into a bathroom and hid in a toilet and fisted someone unexpectedly. Very creative use of sexual predation and mime.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:00 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I really enjoyed the tape error in the middle of that- I haven't seen one of those in ages and am curious as to how it was created.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:02 AM on February 18, 2010

I liked the part where the big guy snuck into a bathroom and hid in a toilet and fisted someone unexpectedly

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
posted by MattMangels at 11:05 AM on February 18, 2010

I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase, that's a different Arthur Chase.

I hate myself for liking this.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:08 AM on February 18, 2010 [7 favorites]

Finally somebody who finds sexual violence to be funny has had the courage to post something on the Internet.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:11 AM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'm pretty sure Dwight Schrute is in the background. Foreground at 3:43.
posted by jefficator at 11:15 AM on February 18, 2010

That was fun and awesome. Fun, and awesome.
posted by Poppa Bear at 11:26 AM on February 18, 2010

That is one of the best pieces of deterrent criminal punishments I have ever seen.
posted by tomb at 11:34 AM on February 18, 2010

I think the blonde guy is Michael from Five Second Films, but I'm not sure.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:35 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Finally somebody who finds sexual violence to be funny has had the courage to post something on the Internet.

I think you're missing the point here.

My first reaction, before realizing it was fake, was disgust that sex offenders are so dehumanized in our society that this sort of shit can easily happen. I mean, hey, they committed a crime, that means they're not even people anymore.
posted by kafziel at 11:39 AM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Everyone enjoys a good petard hoisting.
posted by jefeweiss at 11:42 AM on February 18, 2010

This isn't a petard hoisting this is putting severed heads on pikes on the road into town.
posted by oddman at 11:55 AM on February 18, 2010

Just to be 100% clear to those only slightly (and I mean slightly) more gullible than me, this seems to have been created by a sketch comedy group.

Scott Gairdner is a Los Angeles-based sketch comedy group comprised of Scott Gairdner and whoever is willing to help Scott Gairdner.
posted by amtho at 12:13 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

The female sex offender up front looks like Isabelle Adjani from The Tenant.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:37 PM on February 18, 2010

So. Many. Moustaches.
posted by clvrmnky at 1:37 PM on February 18, 2010

I honestly thought it was pretty clearly satire, especially when the deputy threatens one of the performers with a shotgun.

I guess it's a sign of how awful our society has become that a police department forcing sex offenders to unenthusiastically participate in a parody of "The Superbowl Shuffle" is taken by many people as legitimate.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:37 PM on February 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

Sex offenders are funny until they move into your neighborhood. After reading about your neighbors's crimes on a poster tacked to a telephone pole in 40 point font, not so much.
posted by haqspan at 1:49 PM on February 18, 2010

Is there any evidence that sex offender registries prevent future sex offenses?
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:51 PM on February 18, 2010

Beatles 3000 was significantly funnier.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 3:13 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

oh god, this is was my favorite part:

I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes
I've been arrested seven times
I know that sounds like a lot,
but three of those times were for vandalism.
posted by ShawnStruck at 5:23 PM on February 18, 2010

Ya know, just to derail the already deranged conversation, my husband called the cops because the next-door neighbor's back-yard faucet was pouring water, both his cars haven't been moved for a week, and he wouldn't answer the door when we banged on it. The cops came, got a fire engine to come with a ladder, and looked in his second floor window. He was sitting on his bed watching TV and wouldn't come to the window. Man is a retired school bus driver.

Explain to me why we gotta have a sex-offender registry when what we need is a he's-not-dead-yet registry. Luckily, the cops thought it was funny.
posted by Peach at 7:08 PM on February 18, 2010

I have been assured that yes, that is Michael from Five Second Films.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:19 PM on February 18, 2010

Considering we force them to live under a bridge here, this satire doesn't strike me as that far-fetched.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 9:46 PM on February 18, 2010

eponyadviseable
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:38 PM on February 18, 2010

this is a weak fpp. the video is way too clear to be from the eighties, the cop is out of central casting and the youtube page is of a comedy writer. so there is a larger story here, which should have been included. instead what we have is a digg post.
posted by krautland at 5:17 AM on February 19, 2010

Comedy now, but somebody send this link to Joe Arpaio. This would be even better in pink. With chains.

And pain.
posted by umberto at 11:07 AM on February 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Read the thread, krautland.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:27 PM on February 19, 2010

This is one of my favorite comedy videos. I know it's corny, but the delivery is just hilarious. "I'm Charles Dolling, droppin' rhymes, I've been arrested 7 times, I know that sounds like a lot... but most of those times... were for vandalism."
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:53 PM on February 19, 2010