Instant Post Title!
February 26, 2010 7:37 PM   Subscribe

Hi, I'm Instant Billy Mays! You may remember me from such front-page posts as Instant Rimshot and Sad Trombone. Well, if you liked them, then you're gonna love what we have for you tonight! Does your joke need a little humor enhancement? Try Instant Ed McMahon for all your sidekick needs! Did your joke go over like a lead rock? Use Instant Crickets or a good ol'-fashioned Instant Nelson!

<instant ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah> instant mwahahahahahahaha! Instant d'oh, what's that? Instant AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Instant DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUMit's a Instant Trap! Someone's got to save us! Oh, Instant Hallelujah, it's Instant Chewbacca! What's that? He thinks this post sucks? No, Chuck, don't let him ... <instant gooooooonnnnnnnggggg> Damn it, I've lost my cool. I need some Instant Ommm. [pause] This isn't doing it. Horatio, can you help me out? Sure, Billy. This post was certainly a ... [puts on shades] single serving of pain. INSTANT YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Pro tip: hitting Ed McMahon multiple times sounds like a room full of singing ninjas.
posted by WCityMike (30 comments total) 66 users marked this as a favorite
 
(Couldn't fit these in: Instant Yodel and Instant Swanee Whistle.)
posted by WCityMike at 7:37 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Instant coffee!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:41 PM on February 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


WCityMike: "hitting Ed McMahon multiple times sounds like a room full of singing ninjas"

Wow, that is some serious Steve Reich style glissando phasing, beautiful.
posted by idiopath at 7:43 PM on February 26, 2010


I predict hilariously dickish usage of the drama button in flameout threads.
posted by idiopath at 7:47 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Does that slap shop thing work or what?
posted by The Whelk at 7:50 PM on February 26, 2010


Not quite as integrated into the story, but to wrap up my closing-of-tabs, here's a few more I found after I posted: Instant Sad Violin, Instant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, Instant Buuuuuuuuuuuuurn!, Instant KHAAAAN!, Sad Tuba, and Instant Bazinga!.
posted by WCityMike at 7:50 PM on February 26, 2010


Instant Karma.
posted by hangashore at 7:52 PM on February 26, 2010


Apropos of nothing, I've been playing Starcraft for the first time in ages, and I'm startled by how much the sound effect when you click on the Academy sounds like the CSI Miami scream.
posted by lore at 8:03 PM on February 26, 2010


The csi scream doesn't seem to be working for me.

*sad trombone*
posted by Kevin Street at 8:15 PM on February 26, 2010


What? No Instant Rick Roll?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:18 PM on February 26, 2010


Also (shameless plug) Instant Drama
posted by Wild_Eep at 8:53 PM on February 26, 2010


Absolutely loved this post. Now my browser toolbar is totally full, but these instant sound moments will come in handy on many an annoying phone call!
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 8:57 PM on February 26, 2010


Here we go!

Instant sunglasses of justice.
posted by Kevin Street at 9:04 PM on February 26, 2010


Am I the only one that's getting only three phrases on the Billy Mays button?
posted by squeakyfromme at 9:22 PM on February 26, 2010


Oh, these will come in handy. : )
posted by SisterHavana at 10:41 PM on February 26, 2010


Instant Club Hit
posted by SisterHavana at 10:44 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Instant Replay.
posted by eschatfische at 10:46 PM on February 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Instants
posted by Artnchicken at 1:56 AM on February 27, 2010


Metafilter: a room full of singing ninjas.
posted by scruss at 3:47 AM on February 27, 2010


For those that remember that game show with that sound effect thing...
http://www.thesurveysaid.com/
posted by memebake at 4:13 AM on February 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is one of the more useful posts in a long time!
posted by grouse at 6:13 AM on February 27, 2010


Did someone say Instant Replay? (This is what I thought that link would be.)
posted by SisterHavana at 8:25 AM on February 27, 2010


Instant Pudding
posted by DU at 8:46 AM on February 27, 2010


The Price Is Right losing horn
posted by Afroblanco at 11:36 AM on February 27, 2010


http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/
posted by vanadium at 12:01 PM on February 27, 2010


http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/

I used to use that as my Critical Stop alert sound on Windows. The laughter it induced sometimes made up for the annoyance of yet another data-destroying crash. Sometimes.
posted by grouse at 12:23 PM on February 27, 2010


Instant Club Hit

I, erm, may have clicked on that 3 or 4 times, trying to get a club hit to play.
posted by niles at 5:50 PM on February 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm surprised there's not an Instant Orchestra Hit.
posted by grouse at 11:05 AM on February 28, 2010


Instant sunglasses of justice.

This one is pretty amazing.
posted by audacity at 11:46 AM on February 28, 2010


I'm surprised there's not an Instant Orchestra Hit.

Indeed. Or an Instant Also Sprach Zarathustra.*

*theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:49 PM on February 28, 2010


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