Meta Bitches
March 5, 2010 8:31 AM   Subscribe

Types of Bitches, as observed by a D.C. third-grader.
posted by hermitosis (124 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Looks like the site hosting this retread 2007 email FWD got hosed. -- cortex



 
Hey looks like this kid is all set to be a prominent member of Reddit
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:35 AM on March 5, 2010 [7 favorites]


I was pretty impressed by some of the descriptions and a third graders ability to spell such words. The list, on the other hand, is kind of scary. Whoever is raising this kid is not doing it right.
posted by deacon_blues at 8:35 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


This doesn't seem very respectful to bitches.
posted by found missing at 8:36 AM on March 5, 2010 [21 favorites]


Wow. I always knew that I was one of the gay bitches (59), but this list informed me that I am also an ain't got no ass bitch (2). In college, I was a pajamas outside bitch (69) and a hair dyeing bitch (39), too.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 8:40 AM on March 5, 2010


Can we set up a project to get 90 artists to contribute illustrations for each item on the list, a la John Hodgman's 700 Hobo names? 'Cause I would pay to see that.
posted by Alison at 8:40 AM on March 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


Oh come on.
posted by muddgirl at 8:41 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


What is the difference between "ain't got no damn sense bitches" and "stupid bitches that act dumb?" Some of these distinctions seem pretty subtle for a third grader.
posted by dortmunder at 8:41 AM on March 5, 2010


My personal favorite is "Wearing shoes that be talking bitches", though I share more solidarity with the "Ain't got no ass bitches".
posted by hermitosis at 8:41 AM on March 5, 2010


B+. An A will only be awarded if this is set up like a periodic table of bitch elements.
posted by ob at 8:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


"who think they all that cause of their hair"

Their? Sure. Not at all fake.
posted by GeckoDundee at 8:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also known as the Sock Puppet Name Goldmine.
posted by shothotbot at 8:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


16) bitches who think their man love them but get pregnent and left alone

Oh wow, unexpected poignancy in the list of bitches.
posted by naju at 8:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [12 favorites]


This is both disturbing and hilarious. I am thoroughly uncomfortable.
posted by Nattie at 8:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Whoever is raising this kid is not doing it right
I agree with the blogger that this looks like the official record of a group effort.
posted by shothotbot at 8:43 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have a weird feeling that I'm going to be on MetaFilter in 10 years arguing over a campaign to discourage use of "the b-word" in the face of people that keep saying "but it's being used differently now, and women that object to it are just being oversensitive."

[i.e. I suspect this is an early sign of lexical drift, as kids pick up "bitch" being used to mean "unassertive person of weak character" and don't necessarily associate it with the misogynistic slur.]
posted by Shepherd at 8:43 AM on March 5, 2010 [5 favorites]


I was struck by wearing shoes that be talking bitches as well. I'm not certain if I know what that means but I strongly suspect that I'd really like to meet a bitch wearing shoes that be talking.

I have a feeling we'll be seeing this kids name again at some point. Whether it's on a best seller or the police blotter hangs in the balance. The force is strong with this one.
posted by Babblesort at 8:45 AM on March 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


Furthermore part of me weeps that "Bad Grammar Bitches" never made this list.
posted by ob at 8:48 AM on March 5, 2010


instigating bitches
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:48 AM on March 5, 2010


ob, that's on the missing page with 44-58. it's ok.
posted by toodleydoodley at 8:48 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was struck by wearing shoes that be talking bitches as well. I'm not certain if I know what that means but I strongly suspect that I'd really like to meet a bitch wearing shoes that be talking.

Your shoes are talking when the sole starts splitting off of your shoe. It looks like a mouth.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:48 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I was pretty impressed by some of the descriptions and a third graders ability to spell such words.

And the handwriting. This can't be a third-grader... can it?
posted by uncleozzy at 8:49 AM on March 5, 2010


Okay, MetaFilter, I'm tasking you to locate that missing page. You have ten hours.

Hive mind, awaaaaay!
posted by reductiondesign at 8:49 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Maybe I'm just being defensive because #63 hit a little too close to home, but this is almost as delightful as the three year old girl who kept yelling "Shut up, stupid!" to her indifferent-looking mother on the bus yesterday.

*Scratches itchy bitchy scalp*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:49 AM on March 5, 2010


and don't necessarily associate it with the misogynistic slur

Yeah, the further down this list I go the further I think I was totally off the mark on that.
posted by Shepherd at 8:49 AM on March 5, 2010


Boing Boing pointed out that this is probably a handwritten copy of an e-mail forward that was going around in 2007.
posted by edbles at 8:50 AM on March 5, 2010


... solid writing skills, almost 75% correct spelling. If this is from a third-grader, I'll happily declare this a success. Even knowledge of the word conceited and almost its correct spelling? Oh, wait, this is for the lolblackkids trend [via tfa].
posted by tmcw at 8:51 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


ok, mr. bitches.
posted by the aloha at 8:51 AM on March 5, 2010


I guess Art Linkletter was right all along!
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:52 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Notwithstanding the concept of lexical drift, I was getting all humorless-feminist on this until I got to #85: "uncreative bitches."
posted by scratch at 8:52 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


This doesn't even begin to touch the kinds of bitch that I am. Those kids better get some more sheets of paper.
posted by padraigin at 8:53 AM on March 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


I hope this isn't a viral for the next Diablo Cody film.
posted by infinitefloatingbrains at 8:53 AM on March 5, 2010 [7 favorites]


Shoes that be talking?
posted by naju at 8:54 AM on March 5, 2010


I know it's hilarious and is flying around the internet like mad, but as former teacher and camp counselor for middle school age kids, I can definitely say that it's not that unusual a thing for a kid to create, especially if they have older sibs or hang with older kids. Also, this was found in a third-grade classroom, but that definitely doesn't mean it was by a third-grader, though it could be. It could have been handed off to a third grader after being passed around a group of friends, or it could have been taken from an older kid and brought to the classroom as a trophy. My first thought was that it looks like the work of a group - a handful of girls sitting around and deciding to make the list, with several people adding to the list and one girl writing it down. And indeed, the handwriting and spelling is not particularly bad for a kid of that age. Or it could be the work of one perhaps somewhat unhappy kid and a couple boring hours on a boring school day.
posted by Miko at 8:54 AM on March 5, 2010


"Shoes that be talking" are squeaky shoes. I remember that phrase from my middle school days.
posted by Miko at 8:55 AM on March 5, 2010


(a) bitches that belong to the emperor
(b) embalmed bitches
(c) trained bitched
(d) suckling pig bitches
(e) mermaid bitches
(f) fabulous bitches
(g) stray bitches
(h) bitches that are included in this classification
(i) bitches that tremble as if they were mad
(j) innumerable bitches
(k) bitches drawn with a very fine camel's-hair brush
(l) miscellaneous bitches
(m) bitches that have just broken the flower vase
(n) bitches that at a distance resemble flies
posted by shii at 8:56 AM on March 5, 2010 [37 favorites]




Your shoes are talking when the sole starts splitting off of your shoe.

Oooooh, right. And it flaps.

The link to the email forward thing opens a blank page for me?
posted by Miko at 8:57 AM on March 5, 2010


Let me second GeckoDundee in calling this a fake (or at the very least, the product of a non-3rd-grader that just happened to end up on a 3rd-grade classroom floor).

Not for "their" so much as the use of abstract concepts well beyond the third grade level - From the first page, for example, "stupid bitches that act dumb". Third grade humor, while crude, doesn't extend to such subtleties as otherwise-smart women playing dumb to make themselves more appealing to an alpha-male. Or #87, "concetied bitches"... Despite the misspelling, 3rd graders don't use words like "conceited".
posted by pla at 8:58 AM on March 5, 2010


Seriously guys, come on.
My friend’s cousin …

Wait a second. You know this is going to be good, when it starts with “My friend’s cousin.”

My friend’s cousin is a teacher at a charter school in Washington, D.C.
"I know this sounds suspicious, but it's true! My friend's cousin..." is the new "My friend's cousin..."
posted by muddgirl at 9:00 AM on March 5, 2010


Relinked to the boing boing post also 2009 chain letter apparently.
posted by edbles at 9:01 AM on March 5, 2010


I suspect this is an early sign of lexical drift, as kids pick up "bitch" being used to mean "unassertive person of weak character" and don't necessarily associate it with the misogynistic slur.

I don't think this an early sign of lexical drift, people have been using 'bitch' as a nongendered slur for years.
posted by Think_Long at 9:01 AM on March 5, 2010


+ Snarky metafilter bitches.
posted by milarepa at 9:01 AM on March 5, 2010


3rd graders don't use words like "conceited".


Unless they happen to be a precocious bitch.
posted by barrett caulk at 9:01 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


wow... this is what we've come to here? Maybe I'm getting old, but this is one weak FPP....
posted by HuronBob at 9:02 AM on March 5, 2010


There are different kinds? I was always told that a bitch was a bitch. Did NWA mislead me?
posted by bondcliff at 9:02 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Despite the misspelling, 3rd graders don't use words like "conceited".

Whether it's fake or not, I completely disagree with this. Different kids pick up different words at different times, based purely on who and what they are exposed to.
posted by hermitosis at 9:02 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


3rd graders don't use words like "conceited".

Kidding me? Of COURSE they do. It's one of the best putdowns of other girls available in third grade. Along with "instigator" (also on the list). It used to drive me crazy at that age watching some of my friends "act dumb" around boys, clearly beginning to use it as a flirting tactic. Some subset of girls mocked and disparaged girls who did that (while they mocked and disparaged us, I'm sure).

I really do think people who think this is somehow over the head of a nine-year-old girl don't spend much time around nine-year-old girls, were never one themselves, or if they were, have forgotten what they and their friends are like.
posted by Miko at 9:02 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


I think that you really don't have to get past "dusty trick bitches" to realize that this is the ever-popular grade school exercise (well, I did it, anyway) where you write down all the dirty words you know and, once you realize how short the list is, start making things up. Kind of like those so-called purity tests that circulated in the internet's elder days where some folks who felt compelled to add to it started coming up with ridiculously specific permutations in order to make it more "comprehensive"; see also the handkerchief code.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:03 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wow, learning to hate women starts early.
posted by theora55 at 9:03 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Let's see... 4, 18, 37, 62, 76, 79. Do I get merit badges for each of those?
posted by Greg Nog at 9:03 AM on March 5, 2010


If you having problems I feel bad for you son.
posted by hal9k at 9:04 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


That's totally interesting - the earlier message board appearance places the school in Baltimore. Snopes time.
posted by Miko at 9:05 AM on March 5, 2010


wow... this is what we've come to here? Maybe I'm getting old, but this is one weak FPP....

I find that to be interesting, HuronBob, considering that you are the ONLY other person to ever use the "bitches" tag, for a single-link post about Paris Hilton.
posted by hermitosis at 9:06 AM on March 5, 2010 [7 favorites]


...aaaand it's down.
posted by pts at 9:06 AM on March 5, 2010


I hope this list is part of a scavenger hunt.
posted by orme at 9:07 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: unexpected poignancy in the list of bitches.
posted by Billegible at 9:07 AM on March 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


Along with "instigator" (also on the list).

True that; whenever my sister got in trouble for beating the crap out of me, her immediate response was "He instigated it!". Which, while true, leads me to recommend 'Bitches who beat the crap out of Li'l Alvy' be added to the list.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:08 AM on March 5, 2010


Seems like quite a list to have to review if you've got 99 problems already.
posted by Pragmatica at 9:08 AM on March 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


From the other version on the message board that Boing Boing linked to:

10) bitches that be trying to steal your man.

The writer is not necessarily male (or straight).
posted by edbles at 9:09 AM on March 5, 2010


Mirror? I want to get offended!
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:09 AM on March 5, 2010


Flickr set
posted by hermitosis at 9:11 AM on March 5, 2010


edibles, I think most people have determined that it was written by a girl or, more likely, a group of girls
posted by Think_Long at 9:12 AM on March 5, 2010


I find that to be interesting, HuronBob, considering that you are the ONLY other person to ever use the "bitches" tag, for a single-link post about Paris Hilton.

I should probably be ashamed for remembering this, but the 'bitches' tag in HuronBob's FPP is a reference to Paris Hilton's line "See you at the debate, bitches!" after she announces her intention to run for President. So you're not exactly presenting that in a very fair or even accurate way.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:14 AM on March 5, 2010


I'm getting a "Forbidden" error, so I'll just have to assume that this kid's got a lot of issues with dogs or something.

Because "ain't got no damn sense bitches" makes is such a great description when I think of my neighbor's Cocker Spaniel racing into my yard barking, chasing her tail, and then bounding off at a dead sprint into some random direction that may or may not lead her directly into traffic.
posted by quin at 9:14 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


...see also the handkerchief code.

Either the Wikipedia article is mistaken in a lot of ways, or the codes have changed a bit since my teens and 20s.

I'd better be careful in my old age.
posted by Splunge at 9:16 AM on March 5, 2010


Bitches who don't like labels bitches
posted by edbles at 9:16 AM on March 5, 2010


Wow, learning to hate women starts early.
posted by theora55 at 9:03 AM on March 5 [+] [!]


Interestingly, I think it's pretty clear that the list was written by a girl. Well, more likely one girl did the actual writing, but I picture a collaborative group of girls all chiming in and cracking up the whole time.

8, 10 & 14 establishes that pretty clearly for me. The language of female rivalry dominates this list. Now, if you want to discuss self-loathing, I'm sure there are women's studies majors who are going to jump into this thread soon enough...
posted by snottydick at 9:17 AM on March 5, 2010


this is almost as delightful as the three year old girl who kept yelling "Shut up, stupid!" to her indifferent-looking mother on the bus yesterday. "

Aww, now you have me missing three-year-olds. I heart them so much, especially on public transportation, they know you can't do jack on the bus and if you have get off the bus then you'll both be miserable. They bust out their most entertaining antics.
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:17 AM on March 5, 2010


Flickr mirror
posted by w0mbat at 9:17 AM on March 5, 2010


snottydick, I'm not sure what your point is? I think we all agree that it's likely this was written by a girl. You think girls don't learn to hate and denigrate other women, too?
posted by Miko at 9:18 AM on March 5, 2010


I want someone to turn this list into a song.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 9:19 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: unexpected poignancy in the list of bitches.

I'm actually working on this as a spiritual sequel to Love in the Time of Cholera.
posted by naju at 9:19 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


Oh, please. For everyone reacting with shock and horror, you seriously never did this when you were this age? Me and my friends could have made this same list, with a less urban flavor maybe. We had a whole mythology based around King Arthur pulling a dildo from a stone, for example. We may not have been entirely 100% clear on what a dildo was, but we knew they were funny. This is just kids mostly repeating stuff they've heard because they know they're not supposed to. It's completely harmless.
posted by DecemberBoy at 9:21 AM on March 5, 2010


I want someone to turn this list into a song.

And it must be autotuned.
posted by Babblesort at 9:22 AM on March 5, 2010


I protect my store, bitch!
posted by chillmost at 9:22 AM on March 5, 2010


Ah HA. As my gut suspected, the scans themselves are older and don't originate from a DC classroom and not recently. Here they are dated April 3,2009 and describing a source in "my sister's classroom in Baltimore."

back to digging...
posted by Miko at 9:23 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm really not looking forward to the subtle/not-so-subtle racist overtones with which this will be discussed amongst my group of acquaintances. Oh, joy.

This particular gem was floating around amongst some facebook friends. Mild misogyny, always better with a diagram.
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:23 AM on March 5, 2010


Former camp counselor here. My first cabin was a group of 6 12 year-old boys, one of whom had that sort of intelligence about people that cannot be taught. When my mom came to visit the camp and take me out to lunch, I found her being led around the camp on his elbow. Anyway, one night he and his buddy wrote as many synonyms to "rock out with your cock out" as they could think of on the wall of the cabin (e.g. "hang out with your wang out," "stay out with your sleigh out, etc."). We made them sand it all off, but I regret not having taken a photo. There must have been 40+.
posted by craven_morhead at 9:23 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


Always be deleting your comments bitches.

Always be suspending your account bitches.
posted by xmutex at 9:23 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


It was apparently Tweeted by this guy with the claim that it was his sister. But it was already post-2007, when the message board content appeared.
posted by Miko at 9:25 AM on March 5, 2010


You're in 3rd grade and you want to be all grown up, throwing around the word "bitches" and doing your Comedy Central routine.

Then you'll soon be 30, throwing around "bitches", the act gets stale, and you wish you were in 3rd grade again and living a life like a 3rd grader.

It doesn't shock. It just makes me sad to hear kids want/act/be taught to behave or say things like an adult. What's the rush? Adult life SUCKS.

Peace out, bitches.
posted by stormpooper at 9:25 AM on March 5, 2010


snottydick, I'm not sure what your point is? I think we all agree that it's likely this was written by a girl. You think girls don't learn to hate and denigrate other women, too?
posted by Miko at 9:18 AM on March 5 [+] [!]


I'm not sure that I have a point, other than clarification. I mentioned that it was interesting, because it is. There's a difference between hatred between groups and hatred within groups, and it's an interesting distinction that I hadn't really been covered in the thread when I began to draft my comment.

And, actually it wasn't clear to me that "we all agree." Some people miss these things because they read things with predetermined assumptions. I'm sure that you would never do something like that, but I'm talking about those other people out there.

Your second question leads me to believe that you either didn't read the last sentence of my paragraph or didn't catch the meaning of it.
posted by snottydick at 9:26 AM on March 5, 2010


Forbidden

You don't have permission to access /2010/types-of-bitches/ on this bitch.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:26 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


While working in my local library shelving books, I once found a several page document of "I will not start fires" repeated over and over again.

Of course, I found on the shelf by the Stephen King books.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:27 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hi there -- I'm the owner of that blog. Dreamhost is really chapping my hide at the moment. Apparently I need to upgrade Wordpress and add some caching plugins, but get a 403 when I try to access my own site. This is beyond aggravating.

For the upset haters: Nothing anyone here or anywhere else says is going to help you. People talk the way they talk and write the way they write, and a lot of this comes down to "won't SOMEBODY think of the children!?"

I'm a white upper middle-class guy, and I grew up listening to Richard Pryor records. I used to write the jokes down to show them to my friends on the playground. Richard Pryor came from somewhere, and so did these kids. Maybe it's an overarching cultural moral failing. Or maybe it's just how shit is.

Generally, I think it's a good policy not to be the one who says "well I, for one, am OFFENDED!"
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:28 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Bitches, man.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:29 AM on March 5, 2010


I'm sure that you would never do something like that, but I'm talking about those other people out there.

Bitch, please.
posted by Babblesort at 9:29 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


So far I count three different people who swear up and down that, no, really, this was found in a particular grade school in a particular city or state, and I can prove it because it was found by a particular friend or relative of mine.

And each of the schools has twin sisters named "Oranjello" and "Lemonjello". No, really!
posted by yhbc at 9:29 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


I don't think many people are actually offended in this thread.
posted by Think_Long at 9:29 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


So you're not exactly presenting that in a very fair or even accurate way.

My point was more specifically about the quality of posts; I'll put my history toe-to-toe against HuronBob's any day.
posted by hermitosis at 9:31 AM on March 5, 2010


Yeah, I'm not offended, just sort of annoyed that chinese_fashion is taken at his word when he claims that this came from a 3rd grade classroom in a "charter school in DC".

Because (a) it's not true, and (b) it plays into a lot of stupid racial and class stereotypes that are hella unproductive.

Also, yeah, don't be that guy who's all, "But I have TONS of black friends."
posted by muddgirl at 9:31 AM on March 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


Apparently I need to upgrade Wordpress and add some caching plugins, but get a 403 when I try to access my own site. This is beyond aggravating.

Quit your bitchin'.
posted by stormpooper at 9:33 AM on March 5, 2010


I'll put my history toe-to-toe against HuronBob's any day.
Fine. Just don't do it here.
posted by shothotbot at 9:33 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


That does not look like third grade handwriting/printing. The letter sizes and slant are too consistent.
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:33 AM on March 5, 2010


Previous lists.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:33 AM on March 5, 2010


I want to be outraged but I'm Bitches Who Don't Have Permission To Access This On That Server
posted by availablelight at 9:33 AM on March 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


Can't access this for some reason, but I don't really need to. This is sort of like Proust's madeleine for me...
posted by Football Bat at 9:35 AM on March 5, 2010


Some people miss these things because they read things with predetermined assumptions. .

Right. I think you might have been seeing things with predetermined assumptions yourself. The comment that learning to hate women starts early doesn't include any information about who's learning to hate; you assumed the commenter didn't realize the writer of the list was probably a girl, and yet I think she does realize that, and the comment holds true regardless of whether the writer is male or female. Then the comment

if you want to discuss self-loathing, I'm sure there are women's studies majors who are going to jump into this thread soon enough...

...seems to sort of aim at picking some kind of a fight. So I'm glad to know you were just clarifying.
posted by Miko at 9:35 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


While working in my local library shelving books, I once found a several page document of "I will not start fires" repeated over and over again.

47) pyramaniac bitches
posted by Greg Nog at 9:36 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't think many people are actually offended in this thread.

Yeah, but it's a lot easier to push an imaginary Keepin' It Real/This is How the Real World Works, I Pity You People Who Can't Handle It vs. Nervous Nelly Schoolmarms schism than it is to admit that this may not have actually come from his Canadian girlfriend's uncle's ex-wife in Tuscaloosa.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:37 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am here to bitch about this 403 error I get while trying to view this apparently bitchin' content.
posted by Mister_A at 9:37 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'll put my history toe-to-toe against HuronBob's any day.

*Slow clap*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:37 AM on March 5, 2010


chinese_fashion please explain where you came by that image and how it could have been extant on the internet since 2009 and yet found recently by your sisters cousin or whoever.

whats offensive to me is the way the list is presented in its chain letter form as coming from a black elementary school. the list itself is kinda funny.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:38 AM on March 5, 2010


Ugh. I really want to search out the earliest web mentions of this thing, but (a) I'm at work and feeling a little self-conscious about repeatedly searching on the word 'bitches', (b) really aware that a lot of the sites that result from search terms including that word are NSFW, and (c) finding that a lot of them are ad-based link aggregators that generate popups and perhaps malware crap. Damn, the thrill of the hunt denied.
posted by Miko at 9:38 AM on March 5, 2010


"403 Forbidden" error.

Anyone have an alternate link, or should this just be closed for having a rotted link?
posted by hippybear at 9:38 AM on March 5, 2010


If people can't access the blog post, Miko dug up the exact same list posted in early 2009 - the first page is archived here.
posted by muddgirl at 9:39 AM on March 5, 2010


it's a lot easier to push an imaginary Keepin' It Real/This is How the Real World Works, I Pity You People Who Can't Handle It vs. Nervous Nelly Schoolmarms schism than it is to admit that this may not have actually come from his Canadian girlfriend's uncle's ex-wife in Tuscaloosa.

I think both are probably true. Kids are totally capable of this, and yet the story doesn't play in a straightforward way. Could be that kids wrote it, then it ended up transcribed as an email forward (which I suspect is true); or some kid got hold of it as an email forward and then friends transcribed it, etc. Either way, whatever happened happened before the message board 2007 date.
posted by Miko at 9:40 AM on March 5, 2010


It got emailed to me as a .pdf by a person I trust, who told me her cousin works at a charter school and found it on the floor in a 3rd-grade classroom. If it's a chain letter, I fell for it.

I've seen enough stuff like it from friends who teach in DC and VA public schools that I believed it.
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:42 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't think this an early sign of lexical drift, people have been using 'bitch' as a nongendered slur for years.

That's what lexical drift is.

Breaking it down:

I suspect(ed) we're starting to see a generation of people that grow up with the primary definition of "bitch" being "a person of weak character," (the non-gendered use) rather than "a woman who is aggressive" (the gendered use).

The non-gendered use of "bitch" is used primarily as a slur against men (so I guess it is gendered, but reverse-gendered) to say "you are acting in a weak and non-dominant way; women are weak and non-dominant, and you are acting like a woman; it is undesirable to act like a woman, and I am mocking you for it."

This is interesting in that the gendered use of "bitch" is usually used to refer to women who act strong and dominant.

If children are starting to use "bitch" to mean "person of weak character, whether male or female," it means that the lexical drift of "bitch" has grown to eclipse the gendered use, and what was once used against men to say "you are being like a woman" is now used against everyone to say "you are being weak."

If this is true (but this seems increasingly doubtful), it's easy to see a retread of the "r-word" thread of several days ago happening in this exact same place in 10 years, with people who recall the gendered use of "bitch" and why it is misogynistic arguing that it's not a fantastic word choice, while people who are more accustomed to the non-gendered, drifted use arguing that it is now just a word meaning "weak," and shouldn't be offensive at all.

This is largely moot, as it looks more and more like it's a fake, but I'm now wondering if this drift is happening regardless of whether or not the list is true, as kids' first exposure to "bitch" becomes increasingly a man calling another man weak, rather than a man complaining about a woman being self-assertive.
posted by Shepherd at 9:43 AM on March 5, 2010 [4 favorites]


If it's a chain letter, I fell for it.

I have a correspondent in Nigeria who urgently needs your help!
posted by muddgirl at 9:43 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Here it is, bitches.
posted by gman at 9:43 AM on March 5, 2010


Now, if you want to discuss self-loathing, I'm sure there are women's studies majors who are going to jump into this thread soon enough...
posted by snottydick


Eponysterical.
posted by rtha at 9:44 AM on March 5, 2010 [2 favorites]


Haaaaaa, a chain hoax targeting liberal upper middle class white people who think ghetto blacks are a totally awesome and outrageously hilarious conceptual entity, this is like my fucking dream come true. Fly little chain hoax, fly, you are the Stuff White People Like!!!
posted by The Straightener at 9:45 AM on March 5, 2010 [6 favorites]


It got emailed to me as a .pdf by a person I trust, who told me her cousin works at a charter school and found it on the floor in a 3rd-grade classroom. If it's a chain letter, I fell for it.

I've seen enough stuff like it from friends who teach in DC and VA public schools that I believed it.


How about investigating? We'd love to know. Because it's odd that the same content - actually, the same scans - have appeared on the web - the scans a year earlier. What gives?
posted by Miko at 9:46 AM on March 5, 2010


I think both are probably true.
Both what?

Kids are totally capable of this...
Oh, I'm not claiming they aren't, I just think the presentation is hinky.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:48 AM on March 5, 2010


you assumed the commenter didn't realize the writer of the list was probably a girl, and yet I think she does realize that, and the comment holds true regardless of whether the writer is male or female.

I did no such thing. If I had, I would have used a contradictory term, like "actually," instead of "interestingly."

...seems to sort of aim at picking some kind of a fight.

That's a fair point. I was pre-emptively poking fun at people who might be inclined to take this thread (and themselves) far too seriously. I'm glad the thread hasn't gone that route.

I love bitches, I don't fight them.
posted by snottydick at 9:48 AM on March 5, 2010


Eponysterical.
posted by rtha at 9:44 AM on March 5 [+] [!]


Truth.
posted by snottydick at 9:49 AM on March 5, 2010


@muddgirl, @yhbc, @ anybody else griping about the origin of the list being misrepresented...

If Dreamhost ever gets its act together and gets the blog back up, you'll see that Jeff (chinese_fashion) posted an update before the attention made it all implode. While the list WAS found in the aforementioned charter school in DC, it was a photocopy. A photocopy that, it turns out, has also been found in other classrooms. Most notably in the DC / Baltimore area.

So it seems that somewhere down there, there are some bitch list copying bitches.
posted by D.Billy at 9:51 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


That does not look like third grade handwriting/printing. The letter sizes and slant are too consistent.

not necessarily. I believe 3rd grade is sort of 'penmanship' year in most u.s. schools. I can tell you that I had very precise and 'developed' handwriting at that age and used to be very competitive with my desk neighbor Karen over who would get more perfect scores on handwriting assignments and who could write more exactly like the writing samples up on the walls.

also, I think this might be one of those educational benchmarks where girls are tending to supersede boys?
posted by supermedusa at 9:51 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


also, I think this might be one of those educational benchmarks where girls are tending to supersede boys?

I thought girls stereotypically always had neater handwriting than boys.

I remember when I was in 6th grade or so my mom found a very funny but obscene note from one of my friends in my bookbag. She went off on how disgusting the note was, adding at the end, "...and the handwriting is too...NEAT! He writes like a fucking girl!"
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:54 AM on March 5, 2010


I don't particularly care if chinese_fashion was bamboozled by his friend's cousin.

I'm more unpleasantly surprised that bloggers like Xeni don't have the critical thinking skills to recognize "my cousin's friend" as an unreliable source of anything. If Boing Boing had reported it as "a chain letter allegedly found in a 3rd grade classroom" initially, they may have headed off a lot of the "hurf durf black girls amirite"?

I mean, are we living in some alternate dimension where Snopes never existed?
posted by muddgirl at 9:56 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


That does not look like third grade handwriting/printing.

I think it does. I'm no graphologist (bitch), but I have a nine year old daughter, left-handed and by no means a precocious scribe, whose handwriting is not dissimilar. If it's a fake then it's well done I think.
posted by tigrefacile at 10:00 AM on March 5, 2010


I suspect(ed) we're starting to see a generation of people that grow up with the primary definition of "bitch" being "a person of weak character," (the non-gendered use) rather than "a woman who is aggressive" (the gendered use).

I agree. I don't know when the actual term-shift started happening, but my first experience with it as a specifically non-gendered (and in fact, targeted at men) expression was "Bitches 2" by Ice-T off of the Original Gangster album in 1991.

He may have been speaking to some zeitgeist I was unaware of, but, at least from my perspective, it seems more likely the transition actually started because of his song (and perhaps others like it) at that time.

That means that there are a lot of 18 years olds walking around right now, who've never heard the word "Bitch" as an expression exclusively targeted at women.
posted by quin at 10:00 AM on March 5, 2010


I got 99 problems, and a borked link is one.
posted by cmoj at 10:06 AM on March 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


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