Now you can own your own pothole
March 9, 2010 11:01 AM   Subscribe

Now you can own your own pothole......
posted by MajorDundee (18 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I tole heem we already got one!
posted by Mister_A at 11:07 AM on March 9, 2010

I wonder if there would be a sliding scale for potholes in New Orleans. I've heard of one with a shopping cart in it, but the wildlife sanctuary is new to me.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:17 AM on March 9, 2010

This is flagrant false advertising!
posted by The Whelk at 11:34 AM on March 9, 2010

So will you be held responsible when the repair job inevitably wears off and someone wrecks their car in *your* pothole?
posted by monospace at 11:46 AM on March 9, 2010

Will it send me a letter on its birthday telling me how much good my sponsorship money has done for it?
posted by Solomon at 11:48 AM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Who would be the washed-up celebrity on the verge of tears for the commercial? How about Drew Carey? I'd be more inclined to sponsor one with his endorsement than for Susan Sarandon or the chick from Rosanne.
posted by askmeaboutLOOM at 11:59 AM on March 9, 2010

posted by louche mustachio at 12:11 PM on March 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a pothole it's adopted?

(blatantly stolen and slightly altered Zach Galifianakis joke)
posted by orme at 12:12 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Now?! I've owned potholes all over the city for years! All you gotta do is pee on them, and that is some marked territory.

Sure, you have to make certain no one else tries to usurp your claim, but that's what maintaining a kingdom is all about.
posted by quin at 12:26 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

A couple of nights ago, a co-worker was giving me a ride home, and we were discussing the state of the Minneapolis roads.

She said "Oh yeah, there's a pothole in the middle of 94 that someone stood a beer can up in. Not one of the regular size ones, neither. One of the big ones, not twelve ounce, one of the bigger size cans."

"Wait... a tall boy... standing up... in a pothole... in the middle of I94."

"Yep, it didn't poke up over the top or nothin'."

"In the middle of I94."

"I know. A pothole that deep in the HIGHWAY."

Here I started counting on my fingers.

"OK, so what you're telling me is that someone stopped their vehicle in the middle of a busy
interstate highway, and that individual happened to have on their person a tall empty can that once contained and alcoholic beverage. That person proceeded to exit their vehicle in the middle of this busy interstate highway in order to place said container, now emptied of its consciousness-altering, driving and judgment impairing contents, carefully, upright, in this large, deep pothole. In the middle. Of. Interstate. Highway. 94. Right?"

"Oh, yeah. It wasn't on the shoulder, neither. It was right smack dab out in the middle."

"The pothole is not the only thing that concerns me about that scenario. I don't even know if tops the list. There are many layers of wrong."

Then we laughed. I did not ask her how she happened to know so much about the dimensions of the can, or what kind of can it was, or how she happened to pick up on that much detail while moving at highway speed.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:44 PM on March 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Massachusetts for sale!
posted by not_on_display at 1:36 PM on March 9, 2010

Now I know what to get everyone for Christmas.
posted by Cranberry at 2:00 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

We have loads of potholes where I live - I believe the Council is looking into them (sorry........just couldn't resist trotting that one out)
posted by MajorDundee at 2:19 PM on March 9, 2010

When cycling pothole owns you.
posted by srboisvert at 2:36 PM on March 9, 2010

I will mount a sensor in my pothole, and connect it to a twitter account. Every time someone hits the pothole, it will tweet "Ow."
posted by Decimask at 2:36 PM on March 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey, this might have worked in Blackburn, Lancashire where there were four thousand potholes.
posted by lordrunningclam at 4:22 PM on March 9, 2010

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