"You just don’t see that kind of dedication to trivial matters anymore.”
April 17, 2010 3:56 PM   Subscribe

 
Good stuff.
posted by kafziel at 4:02 PM on April 17, 2010


Now this is art.
posted by philip-random at 4:06 PM on April 17, 2010 [4 favorites]


oh man, I just saw this myself. so incredible. the article about The Dig is basically perfect.

“I’ve got a wire, and a rod, and a shovel, and a bunch of other things,” he said, tiredly looking through the collection of objects he’d found since arriving on the planet. “There’s also a lens, a jawbone, a bracelet, and a couple different crystals. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with any of this junk.”
posted by shmegegge at 4:07 PM on April 17, 2010 [7 favorites]


No, this is art!
posted by The Devil Tesla at 4:10 PM on April 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


Heh. But they could have mentioned something about the virtual-dinosaur hunting opportunities, considering how much the Dodongo looks like a Triceratops.
posted by mreleganza at 4:14 PM on April 17, 2010


“We have a hard enough time as it is turning a profit,” he continued. “Our business consists of distributing free health packs throughout war-torn urban environments, and sometimes even to other planets and dimensions, for brave lone heroes to use at no cost to themselves. If we have to provide health packs to absolutely everyone, it will destroy our already poorly thought-out business model.”
seriously, this is gold.
posted by shmegegge at 4:15 PM on April 17, 2010 [6 favorites]


I was the article about the dig and it made me laugh. I still say "I can't use these two things together" periodically, in the voice of Cmdr. Low

That game made a profound and disturbing impact on my psyche.
posted by selenized at 4:17 PM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


The health pack article reminds me of the time I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 and tried to give a partner some pills. Somehow I mixed up my controls and took the pills myself and shot the partner.
posted by dirigibleman at 4:24 PM on April 17, 2010 [5 favorites]


Multiple scientific studies have demonstrated a clear correlation between a subject’s racism and their performance on counter-terrorism exercises.

Comments are pretty amazing too.

A+
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:26 PM on April 17, 2010


Apropos of this not really, Ramirez Do Everything is my favorite meme right now and Ive never actually played that game
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:33 PM on April 17, 2010


Is this something one would-- Actually, I have no idea what this article is in reference to. Is it videogames?
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:36 PM on April 17, 2010 [3 favorites]


Now this is art.

Snart seems more apropos.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 4:38 PM on April 17, 2010


That was pretty hilarious. I actually laughed aloud.
posted by Edgewise at 4:38 PM on April 17, 2010


Of course racists are good at counter-terrorism. Terrorists are brown people, and you've got to be quick at picking them out in a crowd of white hostages, right?

Think I made myself a little queasy. Funny post. I'm leaving now.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 4:39 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


"All glory to Panau.”

And what glorious snart it is to behold. Great find.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 4:41 PM on April 17, 2010


This is great, thanks for the link empath.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:03 PM on April 17, 2010


"Bogrum! Did you just buy another crapload of rusty armor?"

"Yes dear."

"I thought we agreed you would clear out the garage before you bought any more?"

"Yes dear."
posted by straight at 5:10 PM on April 17, 2010


This is really great. Thanks!
posted by graventy at 5:18 PM on April 17, 2010


Created by MeFi's own, don't you know.
posted by Western Infidels at 5:28 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]


SIM DEMAND MAYOR MAKE UP MIND ALREADY

(Broderbund, MA.) - After having her home razed for the Twentieth time to make way for roads, subway stations, parks, municipal buildings and immense, self contained city states, Broaderbund resident Sue Simoleon has had enough.

"Look, I know he's just trying to make the city a better place to live, but, can't he, ya'know, plan ahead a little?", Simoleon said, "I just want to live in peace."

Sue also questions the mayor's need to unleash natural disasters, UFOs and monsters on an unsuspecting populace.

"Godzilla? Really? For f**k's sake."
posted by stavrogin at 5:32 PM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


God, the used armor one is fantastic. Even the comments are great.

Also, reading the About page I see this is from MeFi's own Christopher Livingston! He is a hilarious dude.

There's another website with a similar shtick called Hardcasual, but to be honest First-Person Observer is eating their lunch.
posted by danb at 5:38 PM on April 17, 2010


Also, holy shit was I beaten to the punch by a huge margin there! Apparently I can type, like, six words per minute.
posted by danb at 5:40 PM on April 17, 2010


I have never played more than ten minutes of the sims and I still thought this one was great.
posted by kavasa at 6:16 PM on April 17, 2010


Comments are pretty amazing too.

Yeah, I literally laughed out loud at this one:

Margaret Atkins says:
April 17, 2010 at 1:48 pm

WTF? This article is total bull. I dont know why so many people are complning. These men are putting thir liveson the line to protect our country. So what if they say bad words? When will these leftys stop h8ing America?
posted by nooneyouknow at 6:35 PM on April 17, 2010


That's brilliant–I don't know if Margaret Atkins is a clueless wacko or an excellent satirist.
posted by Mister_A at 6:44 PM on April 17, 2010


Funny and sad. I've been having an ongoing conversation with some folks about why I have a very small number of games I'll play online, and why many of my friends won't play at all.
posted by yeloson at 7:03 PM on April 17, 2010


"Margaret Atkins" is either party to the satire or "she" is not. The fact that nobody can tell might seems to indicate that satire (or "satire," as we seem increasingly to encounter it) might not be either politically or artistically responsible.

The flipside of democratization of access is that hateful idiots are as much a part of one's audience ("intended" or otherwise) as those who might be "in-the-know." I'm increasingly unconvinced that satire/"satire" is an effective strategy towards anything but increased revenue or pageviews.

Which is sad, but it's certainly not as sad as believing that an actual person somewhere in the United States felt the need to defend the "reported" bigotry of one GoblinCock69. Because Jesus hell.

"America"? "Our country"? Even if one thought this was real, the narrative still played out in Italy. If it's not somebody playing along, I'm going to need a drink.
posted by wreckingball at 8:27 PM on April 17, 2010


If you enjoyed this, check out his other sites too. He recently began the "writing news from within games" on his normal blog, First Person Shouter. Then there's Living in Oblivion and our intrepid non-hero Nondrick, and The Cloned Cavemen of Future Brooklyn screenplay. Oh, and the reason he is also known as Gordon Frohman. Good stuff, all of it.
posted by gemmy at 8:35 PM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


I love this, thanks for posting it! My gamer friends love it too.
posted by Nattie at 8:45 PM on April 17, 2010


Ms. Atkins is an example of Poe's Law.
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 8:46 PM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]


The article about The Dig is both brilliant and accurate.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:40 PM on April 17, 2010


Heh. I read through a bunch of those FPO articles, ending with "ELITE SOLDIER ACCIDENTALLY FIRES ROCKET, INJURES SELF", and right after wandered over to the CBC, where the first thing I see is "General orders investigation into himself". Life, meet Art. Art...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:37 PM on April 17, 2010


At a press conference, the General elaborated: "No! You fools! Not an investigation ON me, an investigation IN me! Nano-machines have used flouridated water to contaminate my precious bodily fluids, and now if I'm to save the free world from the threat of terrorism, you need to shrink yourselves,enter my bloodstream, and fight off the nano-hordes!"
posted by kaibutsu at 1:12 AM on April 18, 2010


I was, just the other day, enjoying Letters from the Frontline: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Edition on McSweeneys.
posted by meech at 1:31 AM on April 18, 2010


FROHHHHHHMAAAANNNN!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:09 AM on April 18, 2010


heh.. i now have 3 posts on the 'most popular' page. i win at the metafilters.
posted by empath at 8:32 AM on April 18, 2010


Video Game Health Care Bill
posted by Rhaomi at 1:15 PM on April 18, 2010




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