Very Mary Kate
May 7, 2010 7:22 AM   Subscribe

Very Mary Kate: The Unofficial Biography of Mary-Kate Olsen. It's better if you start from the beginning.
posted by lunit (108 comments total) 54 users marked this as a favorite
 
The only one I've seen was the one where she goes on a date with Zac Efron. Both impersonations were spot-on. Will look forward to watching the rest later tonight.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:26 AM on May 7, 2010


This is incredible. Best of the web.
posted by ReeMonster at 7:32 AM on May 7, 2010


start from the beginning.

Wow, that first picture is an eerie cross between Kim Basinger and Jack Nicholson from the 1989 Batman.
posted by stavrogin at 7:32 AM on May 7, 2010 [5 favorites]


That link is so raven.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 7:32 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is the greatest thing.
posted by padraigin at 7:33 AM on May 7, 2010


Hoffman. Ha!
posted by stormpooper at 7:34 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jesus. This is great.
posted by Jofus at 7:38 AM on May 7, 2010


Is this Christina Ricci?
posted by spicynuts at 7:41 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Now, if 10 years ago you said "in 2010 a web video series about Mary Kate Olsen will make you laugh like a hyena." I would said you are inhaling drugs good sir and be gone with you.


"That's not how traveling pants works"


tee hee.
posted by The Whelk at 7:42 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


"it's a 26 bedroom one bath"


tee hee heeee
posted by The Whelk at 7:43 AM on May 7, 2010


How rude!
posted by shakespeherian at 7:44 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


This web site is all I ever wanted for the last 48 hours.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:46 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Also, if you don't like this, you are pooping on my dreams.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:48 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Can I borrow your pee?"

Oh this is a delight.
posted by The Whelk at 7:51 AM on May 7, 2010


SEVERAL BLIMPS.
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on May 7, 2010


Why, why is this so funny?
posted by uncleozzy at 8:01 AM on May 7, 2010


That sounds like something an evil dragon would say.
posted by The Whelk at 8:05 AM on May 7, 2010


Holy CRAP this is funny. And dangerously tempting for the litigation-prone, one might think.
posted by Shepherd at 8:07 AM on May 7, 2010


So much funnier than I expected!
posted by Kattullus at 8:10 AM on May 7, 2010


It's better if you start from the beginning. gouge your eyes out and pray for the sweet release of death.

FTFY.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:13 AM on May 7, 2010


Maybe it's just me, but these are just not funny. What's so hilarious about bad impersonations of vapid-and-spoiled-child-stars-who-grew-up-to-be-vapid-and-spoiled-adults? Is this an entry for a high school talent show or something?
posted by mrbarrett.com at 8:14 AM on May 7, 2010 [11 favorites]


Those kinds of sites and impersonations aren't cool.
posted by George Clooney at 8:23 AM on May 7, 2010 [10 favorites]


Why can't we assign as many favourites as we want? Curse you MetaFilter.
posted by chunking express at 8:24 AM on May 7, 2010


Maybe it's just me...

I think I understand the problem.

What you've just experienced is a kind of new form of humour in which the characters play things perfectly straight, but in fact say things that are rather outlandish and difficult to reconcile.

The idea that the Olsen twins have a fleet of blimps that they routinely crash during drunken frenzies is not a real fact, you see -- what the video's creators are doing is providing a sort of outlandish version of reality, which creates a kind of dissonance in the viewer, because it is almost plausible that child stars with tremendous amounts of money and very little intersection with the workaday world most viewers live would indulge in such things.

This make-believe results in a sort of interplay in the viewer's mind -- it is as though we have recieved a message, perhaps written in a fortune cookie, or delivered via telegraph, that says "I know, and you also know, that the Olsen twins do not have a fleet of blimps that they routinely crash during drunken frenzies. But might it be amusing if they did?"

"Why yes," the viewer responds, "that might be amusing. Ho! Ho! Blimps crashing! How jolly."

The actors, however, play their "characters" straight. Unlike the sublime Fresh Prince of Bel Air, which aided the viewer with a "laugh track" that provided convenient cues, and had the cast "mugging" when delivering a joke, this series doesn't help the viewer out with such cues. This might confuse or disconcert you, in which case it is probably best to bow out of the conversation before you embarrass yourself by sounding like a Henny Youngman fan wondering angrily what this Newhart fellow is doing on his lawn.
posted by Shepherd at 8:26 AM on May 7, 2010 [34 favorites]




love
posted by k8t at 8:36 AM on May 7, 2010


oh god ahahahaha this is gold like clean urine
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:38 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Okay, Shepherd, but these are still not funny. Give me some Monty Python or The IT Crowd, please. I need to laugh, not wonder kind of ironic hipster douchebag statement the creator(s) of these videos is trying to make. Has lampooning the Olson Twins become so commonplace, that artists must resort to " providing a sort of outlandish version of reality, which creates a kind of dissonance in the viewer"?
posted by mrbarrett.com at 8:42 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I didn't know you needed to be an ironic hipster douchebag to make comedy. I also don't think Mary Kate is exactly an ironic hipster icon, versus, say, John Cleese in Monty Python or Chris Morris who appears in the IT Crowd. But I don't think you noticed Shepherd was bullshitting you either.

Also, nothing against you, but I can't find the IT Crowd funny. I gave it a go once and it was like When The Whistle Blows from Ricky Gervais's Extras: Cheap jokes and laugh tracks. What I'm saying is that we are allowed to find different things funny without it becoming a judgment of you or of me.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:47 AM on May 7, 2010 [9 favorites]


Oh good arguing about whether or not something is funny is always enlightening and goes places.
posted by The Whelk at 8:47 AM on May 7, 2010 [3 favorites]


Some day I will create a form of humor that is subjectively, rather than objectively, funny.

I think I will call it... humor.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:48 AM on May 7, 2010 [7 favorites]


Okay, started from the beginning.

Would I need to know more about these girls than "former jailbait" to get teh funny?
posted by pla at 8:51 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is really, really, really great!
posted by heyho at 8:53 AM on May 7, 2010


Eh, it's no Celery Man.
posted by Eideteker at 8:53 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was ready to hate but the love is flowing over here. Thank you.
posted by orme at 8:54 AM on May 7, 2010


I love these, and I thought about posting them a while ago and wasn't sure they'd fly here. I see I was right. Our favorite band sucks, yeah, okay. Let us have our giggles.
posted by tula at 8:59 AM on May 7, 2010


I normally hate this kind of shit 'cause I never know what is insane fabrication and what is actual you know, fact-fact.

I find these are funny either way, thanks for the hook-up.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:04 AM on May 7, 2010


Oh man, that is far more awesome than I expected.

I'm totally stealing the:

I have tenure-

Well I have eleven-ure!

posted by fermezporte at 9:06 AM on May 7, 2010


Is this something that I have to follow Hollywood starlet's lives to understand? The only thing I know about them is they played in Full House, and now have very little in the way of a career.

Big 'meh' from me.
posted by Malice at 9:07 AM on May 7, 2010


"That's not how twins works" Heh.
What you've just experienced is a kind of new form of humour in which the characters play things perfectly straight, but in fact say things that are rather outlandish and difficult to reconcile.
Yeah, like remember that mini-show-in-a-show they did on Curb your enthusiasm called "Seinfeld" The "Kramer" character would be an example. Or new retro 1950's web TV show "I Love Lucy". This new form of humor is really catching on.
posted by delmoi at 9:09 AM on May 7, 2010


Is this something that I have to follow Hollywood starlet's lives to understand?

No.

But you do need a sense of humour. OH SNAP?!
posted by chunking express at 9:09 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Gosh darn it! Why isn't stuff funny in the way it was funny when my mom was in college?

For someone who knows - are these two people really still in the public consciousness, or does this set of videos stand alone?


They kind of flit around in the tabloids once in a while, but they haven't really done a lot lately. I think they're focused more on their fashion lines and on avoiding the kind of notoriety that kind of culminated in the association with Heath Ledger's death.
posted by padraigin at 9:10 AM on May 7, 2010


But you do need a bad sense of humour. OH SNAP?!

FIFY
posted by Malice at 9:10 AM on May 7, 2010


ironic hipster douchebag

I think the term "hipster" has officially gone from being an identifier for a particular subculture to shorthand for "young people confuse and anger me."
posted by Shepherd at 9:14 AM on May 7, 2010 [29 favorites]


pla: "Would I need to know more about these girls than "former jailbait" to get teh funny?"

They are rich and have been rich their entire lives.
They grew up famous.
They are very very thin.

So basically there is a general perception that they have an extremely distorted view of reality. I do not know if this perception is accurate or not but for the purposes of this parody the perception is sufficient.
posted by Bonzai at 9:15 AM on May 7, 2010


Very funny - loved them, thanks for posting.
posted by kcds at 9:16 AM on May 7, 2010


Rory Marinich: "Also, nothing against you, but I can't find the IT Crowd funny."

You are not alone. It's just poorly done nerd humor.
posted by graventy at 9:18 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I need to laugh, not wonder kind of ironic hipster douchebag statement the creator(s) of these videos is trying to make.

I know, right?! Anything I hate/don't understand must be within the province of evil scenesters, especially comedic scenarios where hyperbolic, unhinged personalities are deflected back by a rational straight man. Those hipsters! Such douchebags.


This is fucking hilarious, btw.
posted by zoomorphic at 9:19 AM on May 7, 2010


ironic hipster douchebag

Hello next business card.
posted by quin at 9:20 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


Will somebody hold my water bottle so I can drink like a hamster?
posted by The Straightener at 9:21 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


What the fuck is wrong with you people? You're supposed to hate this.
posted by klue at 9:26 AM on May 7, 2010


Is the point of the Olsen twins how they're trailer trashy enough to sell stuff to Mormons while still hanging out with Paris Hilton.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:28 AM on May 7, 2010


Also, nothing against you, but I can't find the IT Crowd funny. I gave it a go once and it was like When The Whistle Blows from Ricky Gervais's Extras: Cheap jokes and laugh tracks.

Man, I love the IT Crowd, and now you've gone and made me notice the laugh track. I think I'm still good with the cheap jokes, though.

Cheap jokes are like cheap candy: 90% of it tastes like ass, but there's always one or two flavours you can't help liking.
posted by Shepherd at 9:30 AM on May 7, 2010


You need to be eating some higher quality ass, my friend.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:31 AM on May 7, 2010 [8 favorites]


These are the points in lie where my sense of restraint comes in handy.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on May 7, 2010


The Philip Seymour Hoffman impression is killer.
posted by emilyd22222 at 9:40 AM on May 7, 2010 [7 favorites]


Heh, I went to college with that Zac Efron. He's still doing the same sort of thing, I see.
posted by duvatney at 9:41 AM on May 7, 2010


These are the points in life where my sense of restraint comes in handy.

These are the restraint points where my hands' senses come to life.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:48 AM on May 7, 2010


These are the hands. The hands that take.
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


These hands are small I know but they're not yours they are my own.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:51 AM on May 7, 2010


I can tell the difference between Mary Kate and Ashley (they're not identical), but I can't tell the difference between Zac Efron and Justin Bieber.
posted by heyho at 9:51 AM on May 7, 2010


These were hilarious...and I am not even sure why.
posted by Windigo at 9:54 AM on May 7, 2010


Would I need to know more about these girls than "former jailbait" to get teh funny?

No, you just have to be jealous of them.
posted by L'OM at 9:57 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


These are the restraint points where my hands' senses come to life.

It's a birth defect!
posted by zoomorphic at 9:59 AM on May 7, 2010


Sad fact: the very best hair dryer I have ever owned was a Mary Kate and Ashley-branded one.

It totally rocked. It blew harder and hotter than all the others. The cord never kinked. It kept blowing and blowing and blowing, long past the point when other blowers would have quit.

It rocked so much, my daughter stole it from me. On the basis of that hair dryer alone, I forgave them for all the other stuff they're famous for. Because what they should be famous for is producing HIGH QUALITY HAIR DRYERS, DAMMIT!
posted by MexicanYenta at 10:06 AM on May 7, 2010 [8 favorites]


Oh, this is great.

The only thing I know about them is they played in Full House, and now have very little in the way of a career.

Mary-Kate had a mildly entertaining arc as an evangelical Christian pot dealer on Weeds before that show became Taunting the Mexican Drug Gangs in a Little Black Dress.
posted by kittyprecious at 10:10 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


the very best hair dryer I have ever owned was a Mary Kate and Ashley-branded one.

It totally rocked. It blew harder and hotter than all the others [...] It kept blowing and blowing and blowing, long past the point when other blowers would have quit.


I adamantly refuse to make any sort of joke at this juncture.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:11 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


The IT Crowd would be a pretty forgettable show except the bosses on each season are so fucking awesome. They are more or less its only saving grace. The show is exactly the sort of show being mocked in Extras.
posted by chunking express at 10:16 AM on May 7, 2010


I can tell the difference between Mary Kate and Ashley (they're not identical), but I can't tell the difference between Zac Efron and Justin Bieber.

Only one of them was in the best TV show of all time, OF ALL TIME!!!
posted by kmz at 10:21 AM on May 7, 2010


I. don't. even. understand. this. place.

I'm prepared for a lot of crazy ideas and sentiments coming from Metafilter, but to have this many people just popping in to share that they dislike the IT Crowd confuses me to no end. How is it possible? Where did you come from?
posted by redsparkler at 10:22 AM on May 7, 2010


Hilarious twitter presence too with fake accounts for her (http://twitter.com/verymarykate) and bodyguard as well as the NYU professor... (http://twitter.com/NYUProfPhil)


@verymarykate 1) I cannot accept this bribe to let you out of your final exam. 2) You misspelled both of our names on the check. 10:03 PM May 2nd via web in reply to verymarykate
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:23 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


“Is this Mary Kate Eunuch Trollface Olsen?”
posted by sidesh0w at 10:40 AM on May 7, 2010


"i'm not breaking into the children's hospital again."
"but grown up oxycontin tastes like chalk!"

that's pretty fucking funny.
posted by shmegegge at 10:45 AM on May 7, 2010


"Also? That new movie? That's supposed to be scary? It isn't really scary."

"Yes it is! I was totally scared!"

"No you weren't."
posted by straight at 10:46 AM on May 7, 2010


I have a really fucking weird WilliamGibson's-character-Laney style obsession with Mary Kate Olsen, so instead of finding this hilarious, all I want to do is scream BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. SHE IS AN AWESOME PIECE OF POPCULTURE! ANDY WARHOL BANANA T-SHIRT! NOSE JOBS! PUPPIES! HAIR! at you all and run upstairs to slam my bedroom door really loudly.

But erm, on a slightly more socially respectable note:

"Baby's are fattening"
"Duh, only if you let them grow inside your body. Like poor people"

Genius.
posted by saturnine at 11:07 AM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is so so good.

The IT Crowd generally leaves me cold except for Gay in series two which is about as good as a studio based sitcom gets.
posted by minifigs at 11:10 AM on May 7, 2010


I'm sorry "I'm not Even Supposed To be here Today!" you have been replaced by "I'M A GROWN UP WITH GROWN UP PROBLEMS" . Please note.
posted by The Whelk at 11:14 AM on May 7, 2010


Let it sniff other babies

:)
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 11:29 AM on May 7, 2010


I'm prepared for a lot of crazy ideas and sentiments coming from Metafilter, but to have this many people just popping in to share that they dislike the IT Crowd confuses me to no end. How is it possible? Where did you come from?
Um, yeah. It's like reading a decent article in the Guardian, and then finding it's been inundated with comments like "WE NEED 5000 YEARS OF DAVID CAMERON!" and "Margaret Thatcher's handbag proves climate science a hoax! I eat baby seals!" And that they all have a bajillion "recommends." Who are you people? And why now? Is it Phase 2.0 already?
posted by Sonny Jim at 11:38 AM on May 7, 2010 [2 favorites]


These are hilarious.
posted by empath at 12:27 PM on May 7, 2010


Mr. Barrett noted I need to laugh, not wonder kind of ironic hipster douchebag statement the creator(s) of these videos is trying to make.

I must have a different definition of douchebag. I always thought of douchebag as grandstanding prick who liberally pours negativity on other people's good time or creative efforts, while actually doing nothing themselves but pontificating into air hoping someone will recognize their unearned importance.

Actually my description is a bit complicated, if I could only find a concrete example...
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:48 PM on May 7, 2010 [7 favorites]


Right, because that's clearly what I was implying, MiltonRandKalman. That you and others seem to think I'm calling anyone a "ironic hipster douchebag" if you find these funny shows an alarming lack of reading comprehension. As others have said quite well in this thread, humor is highly subjective. I don't find these videos funny in the slightest. Others disagree. Such is the way the world works. I *was* implying that the creators of these videos were trying to be "ironic hipster douchebags", but that's just my interpretation based on the wildly unfunny and tone-deaf jokes. Again, that's my interpretation. Take it or leave it.
posted by mrbarrett.com at 12:58 PM on May 7, 2010


FOOD FIGHT
posted by shakespeherian at 1:15 PM on May 7, 2010


It's like a food fight but it is with fists.
posted by The Whelk at 1:16 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Where would MetaFilter be if people didn't drop into threads to let the rest of us know they are too cool for school?

(What's the point of posting in a thread to say something sucks? The world isn't negative enough?)
posted by chunking express at 1:19 PM on May 7, 2010


Okay, so I went back and gave these videos another try. I actually watched the first dozen or so all the way through, consciously trying to stay open-minded and to ignore any bias or prejudice that I might be carrying into my second viewing attempt....

Nope, sorry guys, still not funny. Now, the Hipster Olympics? That's comedy gold.
posted by mrbarrett.com at 1:28 PM on May 7, 2010


chunking express: "(What's the point of posting in a thread to say something sucks? The world isn't negative enough?)"




math?
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 1:28 PM on May 7, 2010


Well, I have elevenure, so....
posted by pecknpah at 1:50 PM on May 7, 2010


These are not only funny, but really well made, perfectly edited, and consistent in their characterization and timing.

The idea that there's no objective standard for comedy is bullshit. What one finds funny may be subjective, but comedy is quantifiable. There are rules. There is skill involved. These would be funny if I didn't know who Mary Kate was. If this was just named "Spoiled Rich Girl" the majority of the jokes would still work.
posted by billyfleetwood at 2:09 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nope, sorry guys, still not funny.

Oh my stars and garters, the first eleventy times you said this I was like 'pshaw' but now that you have said it in bold italics I have been persuaded to agree with you!
posted by shakespeherian at 2:10 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh Greg, that's assuming there are dicks I don't enjoy!

Wait, did everyone hear that?
posted by kittyprecious at 2:57 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


The Philip Seymour Hoffman impression is killer.

For those who enjoyed the Philip Seymour Hoffman impression, you might like some of these too.
posted by Midnight Rambler at 3:57 PM on May 7, 2010


psssshhhh, I was hating The IT Crowd years ago.
posted by anagrama at 4:07 PM on May 7, 2010


Goddamn this is some of the funniest shit I've seen in a LONG time, thanks for the link.
posted by vito90 at 4:08 PM on May 7, 2010


I am almost positive that Bodyguard is the frontman for Bishop Allen.

Which just makes me find this funnier, really. Thumbs up.
posted by pts at 5:14 PM on May 7, 2010


... okay now I'm less positive, but it's still great.
posted by pts at 5:19 PM on May 7, 2010


Metafilter: Don't steal Dave Coulier's sperm
posted by dirigibleman at 5:43 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I thought this was funny and I'm a nerd and I also think Monty Python is funny. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure you get ZERO cred on the internet (and even less in real life) for pointing to MT has the epitome of humor.

I have no idea what hipsters are supposed to be or how they could be related to this. It's a person doing an exaggerated impression. That's been funny since Og did that thing with the fangs he looked just like a sabretooth OMG you should have seen it.

(That said, the eating disorder jokes aren't too funny.)
posted by DU at 6:21 PM on May 7, 2010


That's it. I need to hire someone to make me watermelon and xanax smoothie's in the morning! Anyone interested?
posted by grapesaresour at 6:33 PM on May 7, 2010


thanks for posting these, they're amazing. my favorite part is how she scratches at doors to be let in. the idea that you could be so comprehensively coddled that you'd wind up a bit feral makes a weird kind of sense!
posted by moxiedoll at 6:38 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think I've finally understood what's so hilarious to me. It's a marriage of two comedic archetypes I haven't really seen united before, the spoiled rich girl and the Bond villain (unlimited resources, no regard for other humans, insane schemes). I never would've thought of it, but in retrospect it's obviously a goldmine of funny.
posted by Kattullus at 9:57 PM on May 7, 2010 [1 favorite]


I really thought they were funny little skits.

It also helped that the bodyguard was incredibly cute.
posted by whoaali at 10:58 PM on May 7, 2010


Very funny, perfect timing, perfect length. Thanks for the links.

Nope, sorry guys, still not funny.
posted by mrbarrett.com


I don't get what you're trying to prove here. You admit comedy is subjective, yet you keep returning as if your opinion carries more weight than the majority that do find it funny. It's not your cup of tea. We get it; there's not reason to return and repeat how unfunny you find it.

Go watch your Monty Python reruns for the 751st time so you can continue to quote lines to your friends (so funny!). You'll be much happier.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 1:11 AM on May 8, 2010


That's it. I need to hire someone to make me watermelon and xanax smoothie's in the morning! Anyone interested?

Mango and klonopin is much better. As long as it's not the generic. Evil dragon.
posted by tracicle at 1:38 AM on May 8, 2010


I keep returning here, Dennis Murphy, because you and others so automatically dismiss my opinion as not being valid. I don't think these are funny. You and others do. Neither side is incorrect. Both sides are valid opinions. It's the classic, "We're going to have to agree to disagree." That is what I'm "trying to prove." That you can't see this is disappointing.
posted by mrbarrett.com at 5:09 AM on May 8, 2010


Watched the first video. Bad, echoey sound. Writing: a pale imitation of Absolutely Fabulous. Am I impatient?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 6:05 AM on May 8, 2010


The videos are 1 minute long? Why not watch 5 and then decide?
posted by chunking express at 6:55 AM on May 8, 2010


Watched a few more. A bit too predicated on the "I know who this celebrity is, therefore ha ha," and still a bit of an AbFab rip, but funny. Yay!
posted by gorgor_balabala at 7:14 AM on May 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


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