Jack, you have debauched my sloth.
May 15, 2010 8:28 PM   Subscribe

Go watch some baby sloth's inaction.

Cuvier further states, that we find in sloths such few relations to ordinary animals, that the general laws of existing organizations apply so little to them, and the different parts of their body seem so much at variance with the laws of co-existence which we find established throughout the rest of the animal kingdom, that we might really believe them to be the remains of another order of things, the living relics of that preceding state of nature, whose ruins we are obliged to search for in the interior of the earth, and that they have by some miracle escaped the catastrophes which destroyed the other species that were their contemporaries.

–On the Adaptation of the Structure of the Sloths to their peculiar Mode of Life
William Buckland D.D. F.R.S. F.L.S. F.G.S.

Mefi's favorite vice that is also an animal previously.
posted by Cold Lurkey (36 comments total) 31 users marked this as a favorite
This is the best thing I've seen all week, thank you.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 8:36 PM on May 15, 2010

I was fully prepared and excited to be Rickrolled into the heavily copyrighted SNL video. Cute sloths are rad too though.
posted by Kale Slayer at 8:40 PM on May 15, 2010

I think I just blew an ovary.
posted by Mamapotomus at 8:46 PM on May 15, 2010 [7 favorites]

"i would get so baked with that thing, we would be best friends"
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:48 PM on May 15, 2010 [5 favorites]

....I wanna scratch my head with my foot.

with my huge talons.
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 PM on May 15, 2010

posted by nev at 8:51 PM on May 15, 2010

"I was gonna eat, but *yawn* chewing's too much work. Naptime."
posted by dirigibleman at 8:56 PM on May 15, 2010

posted by lizjohn at 8:58 PM on May 15, 2010

The Sloth: An infestation on a shag pile carpet on top of a compost heap.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:01 PM on May 15, 2010

A Sloth's Life
Scratchin' my butt,
scratchin' my butt,
I love scra…
Hey! My butt!
Scratchin' my butt…
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:14 PM on May 15, 2010 [10 favorites]

Was going to make P'OB snark, then saw post title.
posted by stargell at 9:30 PM on May 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have to say, though the little ones are cute, I like the adults better. The last one in the Vimeo link is awesome -- he's just chillin' out in his little wicker chair, looking like a sort of demented ewok. Awesome.
posted by malthas at 9:30 PM on May 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

I think I've watched that first video about twelve times today. Meanwhile, I've spent the day trying to figure out how to get a grant to go volunteer at the sanctuary - this would be easier if I weren't majoring in film studies. (As it is, my proposal might end up reading something like, "I FUCKING LOVE BABY SLOTHS.")
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 9:34 PM on May 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

Man I hope this video doesn't start a run on pet sloths. They live like 35 years, grow to 2 feet tall, require constant attention, tons of leaves and bugs to eat, a large cage with climbing apparatus, washing every few days, etc.. are stolen from the jungle by poachers, get attached to their owners, and depressed when inevitably abandoned and left to sanctuaries like the one in the OP.
posted by stbalbach at 9:43 PM on May 15, 2010

What I think when I see this is less "omg how cute" and more "oh I guess they don't have an adult around to lick them, so they're itchy."
posted by killdevil at 10:49 PM on May 15, 2010

In other news, witness an anteater eating a creamsicle.
posted by Evilspork at 10:50 PM on May 15, 2010

The line referenced in the post title is easily one of the top sloth moments in fiction, like, ever:

"The weather had freshened almost to coldness, for the wind was coming more easterly, from the chilly currents between Tristan and the Cape; the sloth was amazed by the change; it shunned the deck and spent its time below. Jack was in his cabin, pricking the charat with less satisfaction than he could have wished: progress, slow, serious trouble with the mainmast - unaccountable headwinds by night - and sipping a glass of grog; Stephen was in the mizentop, teaching Bonden to write and scanning the sea for his first albatross. The sloth sneezed, and looking up, Jack caught its gaze fixed upon him; its inverted face had an expression of anxiety and concern. "Try a piece of this, old cock," he said, dipping his cake in the grog and proffering the sop. "It might put a little heart into you." The sloth sighed, closed its eyes, but gently absorbed the piece, and sighed again.

Some minutes later he felt the touch on his knee: the sloth had silently climbed down and it was standing there, its beady eyes looking up into his face, bright with expectation. More cake, more grog: growing confidence and esteem. After this, as soon as the drum had beat the retreat, the sloth would meet him, hurrying towards the door on its uneven legs: it was given its own bowl, and it would grip it with its claws, lowering its round face into it and pursing its lips to drink (its tongue was too short to lap). Sometimes it went to sleep in this position, bowed over the emptiness.

"In this bucket," said Stephen, walking into the cabin, "in this small half-bucket, now, I have the population of Dublin, London and Paris combined: these animalculae - what is the matter with the sloth?" It was curled on Jack's knee, breathing heavily: its bowl and Jack's glass stood empty on the table. Stephen picked it up, peered into its affable, bleary face, shoot it, and hung it upon its rope. It seized hold with one fore and one hind foot, letting the others dangle limp, and went to sleep.

Stephen looked sharply round, saw the decanter, smelt to the sloth, and cried, "Jack, you have debauched my sloth."

posted by killdevil at 10:58 PM on May 15, 2010 [11 favorites]

My spirit animal!
posted by louche mustachio at 11:18 PM on May 15, 2010

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth"

Today's improbable sentence sorted, and I haven't even had breakfast yet. Thanks, killdevil! (I'm passing hastily over "Try a piece of this old cock", and thanking the maker for punctuation.)
posted by falcon at 11:24 PM on May 15, 2010

Those are some cool sloths but this guy is my favorite and my two year old son's too. I always wondered what anteaters ate. Creamsickles huh? Who'd of thunk it?
posted by Tashtego at 11:54 PM on May 15, 2010

The line referenced in the post title is easily one of the top sloth moments in fiction, like, ever:

Please to be naming the other top sloth moments in fiction.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 12:36 AM on May 16, 2010 [4 favorites]

There is no finer way to spend a Sunday morning than snuggled into bed with my sleeping children and puppy, watching sloth videos. Thanks.
posted by saucysault at 3:32 AM on May 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm booked on the next boat to Costa Rica.
posted by nthdegx at 4:52 AM on May 16, 2010

One of my best travel moments was the 15 minutes or an hour spent escorting a three-toed sloth across a road in Costa Rica. On the ground they look like roadkill to begin with. Adorable face, but after a few years in the trees they're covered with algae and bugs. Picking it up wasn't appealing so we waved cars around until it crept to the brush on the opposite side of the road - once it got to some branches it was up and out of sight in a flash.
posted by ChuqD at 6:09 AM on May 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

MetaFilter: An infestation on a shag pile carpet on top of a compost heap.
posted by _Lasar at 6:11 AM on May 16, 2010

Mrs. Werkzeuger and I have this...uhh....thing we call "sloth-get" which is basically me trying to tickle her but as slowly and emotionlessly as possible. She claims it is terrifying.
posted by werkzeuger at 6:39 AM on May 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

yay sloths!
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 8:37 AM on May 16, 2010

werkzeuger, growing up, my sister and I developed a thing called "two toed sloth attack!" wherein one person (typically me) very slowly begins to extend two talon like fingers towards the neck or face of the attackee... it's disconcerting at first, and there may be some initial quailing, while my sloth paws are about 3 feet away. However it takes so long for the talons to arrive at the victim's nostrils that they often forget that they are under attack. attack by sloth. So a minute or so later, she's gone on to focus on other things, only to discover that the sloth paw is right under her nose! oooohooo hooo. sloth wins!
This game is best played with the easily distractable, for obvious reasons.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 10:28 AM on May 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Please to be naming the other top sloth moments in fiction.

I always liked the little meditation on sloths at the beginning of Life of Pi.
posted by biddeford at 12:30 PM on May 16, 2010

"That's not Aaron, Claire."
posted by iamck at 12:39 PM on May 16, 2010

Please to be naming the other top sloth moments in fiction.

Rocky road?
posted by Evilspork at 2:01 PM on May 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Opposite of a baby sloth: giant ground sloth!
posted by mai at 8:45 PM on May 16, 2010

oh! baby sloths eating in a row! heart explodes!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:01 PM on May 16, 2010

Baby 2 and 3 toed sloths, whose mother's have either been run over or zapped by power lines, are brought to the centre to be cared for by sloth whisperer Judy Arroyo.

Man, how sweet would it be to be a sloth whisperer?
posted by Rinku at 12:30 AM on May 17, 2010

MetaFilter: More cake, more grog: growing confidence and esteem.
posted by werkzeuger at 7:16 AM on May 17, 2010

i can't believe i didn't know about this place before i went to costa rica. where ironically, i only saw a sloth on a power line (not being zapped and leaving orphans)
posted by raw sugar at 11:50 AM on May 17, 2010

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