I Was Raised Right
August 14, 2010 9:07 AM   Subscribe

Quayle v2.0

The second son of former VP Dan Quayle has only just begun to fight (though he seems to have inherited his father's flair for bad PR). Quayle on immigration. On education. On double-rainbow.

Not even the Republicans are impressed.
posted by hermitosis (44 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
America deserves this.
posted by eriko at 9:10 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Yeah, what a clown.
posted by delmoi at 9:13 AM on August 14, 2010

In response to the first link. Brilliant.
posted by qwip at 9:30 AM on August 14, 2010 [17 favorites]

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Interview with Hendrik Hertzburg (October 1988), referring to Grigori Rasputin -
posted by Fizz at 9:32 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

I always thought that Dan Quayle was the proto-George W, essentially a Republican experiment to see just how DUMB a guy they could foist on the American world and still pull it off.

I find this guy just hard to think about.
posted by philip-random at 9:43 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Is it too early to start printing the Palin/Quayle 2012 bumper stickers?
posted by quadog at 9:47 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

Let's talk of family values while we sit and watch the slaughter
Hypothetical abortions on imaginary daughters
The white folks think they're on the top ask any proud white male
A million years of evolution, we get Danny Quayle

-Boingo "Insanity"
posted by hippybear at 9:47 AM on August 14, 2010

With a candidate like him, you can't possibly lose. Not to mention a district like his. It's John Shadegg's seat. Not a snowball's chance in hell that it'll flip anytime in the next 25 years.

Bear in mind that Quayle has not won the primary yet. He's running against nine other candidates, including Vernon Parker, an African-American, a former Bush 41 assistant cabinet secretary, and the former mayor of Paradise Valley. The primary is on August 24.
posted by blucevalo at 9:55 AM on August 14, 2010

True story: Ben Quayle was a numbskull as an adolescent. He was quietly kicked out of a pretentious Washington D.C. prep school in, I believe, 8th grade, after a hallway pot buy gone wrong, but long before that he had a pretty ironclad reputation as a troublemaking doofus.
posted by killdevil at 9:59 AM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Christ what an asshole Jr.
posted by Trochanter at 10:05 AM on August 14, 2010 [11 favorites]

Wealthy kid, could have gone out to make a real difference in the world, but he goes to a corporate law firm, where on his website he claims to "have witnessed firsthand" how excessive litigation can torture small business. No way in hell is Schulte Roth New York taking care of the small business owner that just does not seem to understand OSHA and keeps getting that ambulance chaser faulting them for a customer who choked upon their yogurt. No, he was making big $$$ taking care of very wealthy corporations suing very wealthy corporations. Or, on the transactional side, he was thanking god that the useless post-Enron accounting rules were giving his firm work.

He grew up in the capital. School in North Carolina and Tennessee. Work in New York City. Somehow he's "fallen in love with" a safe, open Republican dominated seat in Arizona. He loves Arizona so much, he can't wait to win the election and leave.

But, that's why I can't stand this loser. For anyone, of any education caliber, to state that "Obama is the worst president ever." is so not real. From an objective standpoint, he's doing quite well. Sure he's put us in debt to do it, but it was a choice forced upon him from his predecessor. The Dow is up 20% from his predecessor's low and unemployment is lower. Oh, and in 2014 98% of this country will have some health care insurance -- income level and employment status be damned. Not too terrible Ben Quayle.

Him and I are near the same age and I can't stand this imbecile. He's what exactly wrong with the right and with America. He's not going to accomplish garbage and he only care about himself.

But, he's a smart politician, he makes a unsubstantiated, provocative ad with a claim no inteliigent person or a person who should help shape the political course of our nation should make, and he got good traction.

Now, Arizonans are going to see him and his pretty blonde wife versus the rest of the field and state hell, yes, I think Obama is the worst President ever and he'll actually become a politician of some power.

So many points to figure out the downfall of America, not sure what the first chapter of that book will be, but one of the lines, in an early chapter will be, "Ben Quayle was elected to Congress, setting the stage for a political career that led......"
posted by skepticallypleased at 10:06 AM on August 14, 2010 [19 favorites]

Right or wrong, this guy will not be able to wash the stupid off.
posted by clvrmnky at 10:11 AM on August 14, 2010

Also, (slightly NSFW link) he wrote for a soft-pornish website -- article/not website, tried to hide it, etc.

I would gladly take 5,000 hard working Mexicans who truly care about family and building a better country so much more than you do if we could deport Quayle.
posted by skepticallypleased at 10:13 AM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Quayle sent a campaign mailer that said “We are going to raise our family here”. The mailer featured a picture of Quayle and his wife and two young girls, although the girls in the picture were his nieces. The Quayles do not have children.

You can't make this stuff up.
posted by TrialByMedia at 10:27 AM on August 14, 2010 [8 favorites]

I Am Ben Quayle.
posted by ericb at 10:45 AM on August 14, 2010

The son of that upper-class twit and his appalling hatchet-faced lawyer wife has somehow gotten the idea that family name can bump you to the head of the line.

You do realize who picked his father to be Vice President. And the effect on line placement that picker's family name had for his upper-class twit son.

Whatever else you want to slam this guy for, you can't say he has misunderstood the role of nepotism in American politics.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:47 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

quadog: Is it too early to start printing the Palin/Quayle 2012 bumper stickers?

Not if you spell it Paline/Quayl

(because in this context misplaced e jokes have been funny for decades)

(misplaced e in other contexts = not funny)

(think of the children)

posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:48 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

When G H Bush ran for president, the whole Nicaraguan crack bcci October suprise affair was not yet entirely attenuated , he needed a running mate who could provide valuable impeachment insurance,
Ben's dad, Dan Q.
Nixon once said Agnew was his assassination insurance.
posted by hortense at 10:59 AM on August 14, 2010

I have some (superficial) personal knowledge of the Quayle family. Some observations:

1) Dan Quayle is not stupid and never was. He is reasonably intelligent, frighteningly well-connected and one of the most voracious fundraisers for the Republican party among GHB's extended network. A million bucks for his son's candidacy is a week's work. He'd have easily raised more, however in today's Tea Party environment that would've caused a backlash among the faithful. Dan is, however, lacking in verbal skills and tends to be a bit oblivious, hence the string of gaffes that effectively killed his political career.

2) I'm told that Tucker, Ben's brother, is an affable and decent guy with cute kids and little ambition. The sort that ought to be a politician but, sadly, in our society, isn't.

3) Ben was a privileged teenage boy living in Washington DC under Secret Service protection at a time when the entire country was mocking his father every day on the news. You can guess at the effect that's had on his personality.

It's a bit easy to mock Ben as an insider pretending to be an outsider. But in some ways, he IS an outsider -- or at least his backers are. IMO, he represents a faction (the extended GHB network of Reaganite Republicans) that have been effectively nibbling on crumbs of influence since the Gingrich revolution. They hunger to get back in, and see Ben (a not-dumb and good-looking kid with a will to power and a massive chip on his shoulder) as one of many pieces in that game.

The Tea Party nonsense is just that, and he'll drop it whenever it's convenient. The smart Tea Partiers know this, and are saying so, but they are clearly a tiny minority.
posted by xthlc at 11:03 AM on August 14, 2010 [11 favorites]

hortense: he needed a running mate who could provide valuable impeachment insurance

Impeachment insurance? What remote possibility was there that GHW Bush would ever have been impeached or even censured? The man had an average 60.9% approval rating throughout his presidency, and his approval really tanked only in the last year of his presidency.

xthlc: Ben was a privileged teenage boy living in Washington DC under Secret Service protection at a time when the entire country was mocking his father every day on the news. You can guess at the effect that's had on his personality.

So what? Public figures get mocked all the time. As you mention, Ben Quayle is a privileged WASP, and his pop is "frighteningly well connected." His grandfather was one of the wealthiest men in the United States. Benjy attended Brebeuf Jesuit Prep, St. Albans, Duke, and Vanderbilt. He's been an associate at two upper-trier corporate law firms. He's had what seems by any reckoning a charmed life, just like his dad. As to the effect a little sniping and name-calling directed at his poor daddy nearly 20 years ago has had on his personality, I couldn't care less. He should just be thankful that the mocking of Dan Quayle all occurred well before the age of the internet and 24-hour cable news cycles.
posted by blucevalo at 11:20 AM on August 14, 2010

I watched the double rainbows one first and thought "That's Dan Quayle's son? He's a fruit loop!" Then I watched the first link and realized the real Ben Quayle is even crazier.

And I laughed retroactively at that weird head bob move that I now know was straight-up mockery

But why does the rainbow guy's mouth click when he talks?!

posted by hincandenza at 11:42 AM on August 14, 2010

Whatever else you want to slam this guy for, you can't say he has misunderstood the role of nepotism in American politics.
posted by Joe Beese

That was my point, sorry if it was unclear. "somehow got the idea" was facetious.
posted by longsleeves at 11:47 AM on August 14, 2010

> Is it too early to start printing the Palin/Quayle 2012 bumper stickers?

posted by The Card Cheat at 11:48 AM on August 14, 2010

He's got Dr. Steve Brule eyes.
posted by unsupervised at 12:43 PM on August 14, 2010

*finds old Edward Munch-ripoff "President Quayle" t-shirt from 1987, is dismayed that it's too small now*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:18 PM on August 14, 2010

From the campaign site: If you haven’t had an opportunity to speak with Ben in person, I would encourage you to give him a call on his cell phone at 602.456.1870
posted by ambient2 at 1:24 PM on August 14, 2010

You know the comedian's union has been lobbying hard for this for years.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:41 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hmm... maybe someone can go into his dream and plant the idea that he should abandon his father's political legacy.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:06 PM on August 14, 2010

What's the difference between Dan Quayle and a pitbull?
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:25 PM on August 14, 2010

You let the pitbull finish?
posted by Wolfdog at 2:25 PM on August 14, 2010

Is it too early to start printing the Palin/Quayle 2012 bumper stickers?

No no, it's "Quayle/Palin... they'll have the democrats quailin'!"
posted by Menthol at 6:09 PM on August 14, 2010

Hey! You all leave painquale alone! He's a fine Mefite who would make fine candidate and ...

Oh, Palin/Quayle. Never mind, carry on.
posted by kyrademon at 7:56 PM on August 14, 2010

I was expecting him to bump into the camera as he stood to approve the message.
posted by the noob at 8:50 PM on August 14, 2010

I saw this posted somewhere else last week and then I read through this thread this morning, and it's gotten me thinking (and not in a happy way).

This guy, to me, is the posterchild for everything that is wrong with American politics these days. He comes from a silver-spoon background where everything was pretty much given to him throughout his life. I don't mean to knock all people who grow up that way, but I just don't see how folks like this can connect with your average Joe Shmoe American who grew up middle class or lower.

Next he's not from where he's running for office. Sorry, moving some place and saying "I'm gonna raise my family here" is nice and all but you have no idea what drives the people your moving in with. Maybe after raising your family there, run for office, but moving to a place that, what a coincidence, has an open seat looks (and in this case is) opportunism of the worst kind and is completely insincere.

Also, hey just spouts off tired teabagger talking points and scare mongering (seriously, "drug cartels in mexico" full stop, "tax cartels in dc" full stop....what do either of those things have to do with anything and you just made that second one up) that have no basis in facts or reality in his ad. What are you going to do for the people you want to represent? What's your angle for helping your constituents? What does "knocking the hell out of [Washington]" get the people you're representing? He's just talking and saying nothing. But, hey, it looks snappy.

I see stuff like this and it's just [facepalm] and mutterings of "not this shit again," and it never stops. Once this guy goes away, another will pop up. It's a god damn shame.
posted by snwod at 8:59 PM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wait.... is Hillary from New York?

posted by Doohickie at 9:20 PM on August 14, 2010

Nope, she's not. That annoyed me to no end as well.
posted by snwod at 9:40 PM on August 14, 2010

I see stuff like this and it's just [facepalm] and mutterings of "not this shit again,"

I will say that this lightened my heart just the littlest bit. It's gotta send some kind of message, and I think it did, given Gibbs' outburst. Which by the way, considering what's happened in some of these Democratic primaries, is starting to look more calculated to me. (I don't think these guys do spontaneous.)
posted by Trochanter at 10:32 PM on August 14, 2010

Fuck the Quayles. When I saw him getting face time on CNN just for being a douche I was half laughing and half boiling over with rage.

I was the same age as Tucker. My brother was the same age as Ben.

One day Tucker took my shoes and tied them together. It was a cold, winter day and I had to walk from the busstop to my house on the ice covered road in my socks, carrying my shoes. I was new. I didn't know anyone on the bus then, and the only kids on the bus were a few privileged boys and one frightened girl who never, ever, said anything. I figured it was hazing. I put up a little resistance but there was not much I could do. I was the new kid in this elite circle of jerks.

The next day he did the same thing. There was no reason, since it was clear I was now on their bus route. I should have been one of them, but he decided to test me again. Tied the shoes together, and took his time tightening the laces. Almost the entire bus ride. I might have been crying already when I left the bus, but I am pretty sure that I spent that evening crying to myself. He tied my shoes together so tightly I couldn't even cut them apart. My Nikes, man, pre-Air Jordan.

The Quayle boys are the biggest dicks I've ever known. Fuck Ben Quayle. I only wish I had better dirt than simple school bullying on them.
posted by chemoboy at 1:45 AM on August 15, 2010 [6 favorites]

hippybear: "Boingo Insanity"

Evil carrot top?
posted by beerbajay at 4:48 AM on August 15, 2010

What is this Benk whale I keep hearing about and is it closely affiliated with the Southern Right whale?
posted by MuffinMan at 6:41 AM on August 15, 2010

Evil carrot top?

Danny Elfman. (Same thing? you be the judge!)
posted by hippybear at 9:51 AM on August 15, 2010

Stephen Colbert's behind this, right?


posted by schmod at 3:31 PM on August 15, 2010

He actually won the primary with 22% of the vote. Watch out Washington. He's going to beat the hell outta you.
posted by Xurando at 6:20 AM on August 26, 2010

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