Soon, America's pole-sockers will be out of work, replaced by a machine.
August 26, 2010 10:23 PM Subscribe
Many years ago I bought the domain name RobotSexMachines.com. I should never have let that expire.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 10:31 PM on August 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 10:31 PM on August 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
I don't want to be that guy, but the first part of that was damn near robopornographic.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:44 PM on August 26, 2010
posted by Navelgazer at 10:44 PM on August 26, 2010
Does this technology have any penis-related applications do you think?
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:53 PM on August 26, 2010
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:53 PM on August 26, 2010
That robot looks very proud of itself.
posted by chavenet at 11:00 PM on August 26, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 11:00 PM on August 26, 2010 [7 favorites]
Somebody should tell them this is NOT what they mean by "automated polling".
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:16 PM on August 26, 2010
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:16 PM on August 26, 2010
I want that robot to manipulate my penis to orgasm, and I think it would be capable.
posted by planet at 11:20 PM on August 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by planet at 11:20 PM on August 26, 2010 [3 favorites]
I want that robot to manipulate my penis to orgasm, and I think it would be capable.
Yeah but then you would tell it to stop, you're done, and it would be like that one scene in Robocop...
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:36 PM on August 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Yeah but then you would tell it to stop, you're done, and it would be like that one scene in Robocop...
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:36 PM on August 26, 2010 [2 favorites]
Well, I just want paired socks.
posted by naju at 11:37 PM on August 26, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by naju at 11:37 PM on August 26, 2010 [5 favorites]
The credits at the beginning made me suspect hurf-durfery -- parse "Ping Chuan Wang" as "pinch one wang"? -- but he googles up nicely.
Speaking of pinching, this could be the Condomatic if you just taught it how to pinch the end of the condom (and not the cock) first.
posted by pracowity at 11:41 PM on August 26, 2010
Speaking of pinching, this could be the Condomatic if you just taught it how to pinch the end of the condom (and not the cock) first.
posted by pracowity at 11:41 PM on August 26, 2010
A robot just took 15 minutes to jack off and mate a pair of socks.
posted by benzenedream at 11:58 PM on August 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by benzenedream at 11:58 PM on August 26, 2010 [1 favorite]
I saw this the other day and couldn't stop laughing. Literally. I still break out into fits when I see it.
It's like those Shake Weight commercials. Apparently if it looks like you're jacking something off, I find it HI-LARIOUS.
Oh when will I become an adult...
posted by fryman at 12:19 AM on August 27, 2010
It's like those Shake Weight commercials. Apparently if it looks like you're jacking something off, I find it HI-LARIOUS.
Oh when will I become an adult...
posted by fryman at 12:19 AM on August 27, 2010
Man, I coulda done that so much faster.
...wait- we're talking about sorting laundry here, right?
posted by palacewalls at 12:22 AM on August 27, 2010
...wait- we're talking about sorting laundry here, right?
posted by palacewalls at 12:22 AM on August 27, 2010
I thought it was hilarious but it wasn't the pole-polishing that made me crack up— it was the way the robot would sort of stop and flourish its hands after each step.
posted by hattifattener at 1:13 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by hattifattener at 1:13 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
I heard somewhere that matching and sorting socks is a very difficult task for a robot to grasp, but I can't remember why. Can anyone shed light on the matter?
Love the video btw. And he does look very proud!
posted by Omnomnom at 1:34 AM on August 27, 2010
Love the video btw. And he does look very proud!
posted by Omnomnom at 1:34 AM on August 27, 2010
> A robot just took 15 minutes to jack off and mate a pair of socks.
I hope the resultant offspring get the robot's muscular yet delicate arms and the socks' tiny feet.
posted by chavenet at 1:37 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
I hope the resultant offspring get the robot's muscular yet delicate arms and the socks' tiny feet.
posted by chavenet at 1:37 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
See the chrome
Feel the chrome
Touch the chrome
Heal the chrome
See the screaming
Hot black steaming
Iridescent naugahyde python screaming
Steam Roller!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:02 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]
This would be great to watch with a mixed gender group of business people tasked with buying an industrial robot but with no expectation of what they're about to see. The uncomfortable silence would be epic.
posted by maxwelton at 2:18 AM on August 27, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 2:18 AM on August 27, 2010 [6 favorites]
This is the same lab I think that did the laundry folding robot, this one seems a little less practical but more, uh, marketable?
posted by malphigian at 4:03 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by malphigian at 4:03 AM on August 27, 2010
I have a really dumb question. I can't tell from the video whether it is a real, actual robot or a cgi animated movie. Is it real?
posted by Omnomnom at 4:06 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by Omnomnom at 4:06 AM on August 27, 2010
Oh my. The way he lifts his hands up at the end of each move is adorable. I was half expecting him to turn to the camera and proudly proffer up the freshly bunched socks at the end.
MASTER'S SOCKS~
posted by lucidium at 4:10 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
MASTER'S SOCKS~
posted by lucidium at 4:10 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
This robot fights crime by putting socks over criminals' heads, rendering their vision useless.
posted by Evernix at 4:18 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Evernix at 4:18 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
empath, I thought you'd go a different route with the musical selection.
Personally, I love the moment when he smoothes out the sock after flipping it. So dainty.
posted by piratebowling at 4:34 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
Personally, I love the moment when he smoothes out the sock after flipping it. So dainty.
posted by piratebowling at 4:34 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
I am delighted to see the technological state of the art take one step closer to realizing the XQJ-37 Nuclear-Powered Pan-sexual Roto-Plooker. Gimme that chromium cob indeed.
posted by drlith at 4:39 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by drlith at 4:39 AM on August 27, 2010
It should hide the socks under the bed when it finishes.
posted by pracowity at 4:49 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 4:49 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]
There is a category of media that I believe would be greatly enhanced if, at the end, George Takei would exclaim, "Oh, my!"
This is one of those videos.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:09 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
This is one of those videos.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:09 AM on August 27, 2010 [4 favorites]
"Right, guys! It's been eight years of solid work, but we have successfully made a robot that can recognise and bunch socks! I'll just speed up the video 15 times so it can fit on YouTube, and then we'll crack open the champa…"
"…Oh. Oh God."
posted by dudekiller at 5:13 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]
"…Oh. Oh God."
posted by dudekiller at 5:13 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]
This video relieved my work-related boredom in a flash. Of course, now I've got a slightly more noticeable problem.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 5:14 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by malusmoriendumest at 5:14 AM on August 27, 2010
A robot puts a sock on a pole
You laugh now, but know this: today socks, tomorrow heads!
posted by logopetria at 6:04 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
You laugh now, but know this: today socks, tomorrow heads!
posted by logopetria at 6:04 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
Forget the robot, I want one of those socks!
Er, make that two. I want two of those socks.
posted by hydrophonic at 6:23 AM on August 27, 2010
Er, make that two. I want two of those socks.
posted by hydrophonic at 6:23 AM on August 27, 2010
Is this the fabled XQJ-37 Nuclear-Powered Pansexual Roto-Plooker?
posted by snwod at 6:24 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by snwod at 6:24 AM on August 27, 2010
Is this the fabled XQJ-37 Nuclear-Powered Pansexual Roto-Plooker?
Now I have to go listen to "Joe's Garage" again.
"The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you need to load, or unload, go to the White Zone. You'll love it!"
posted by Balisong at 6:36 AM on August 27, 2010
Now I have to go listen to "Joe's Garage" again.
"The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you need to load, or unload, go to the White Zone. You'll love it!"
posted by Balisong at 6:36 AM on August 27, 2010
Well what did you expect? After all, the lead resarcher's name IS "Wang".
posted by Mike D at 7:09 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by Mike D at 7:09 AM on August 27, 2010
First towels and now this.
It's real and yes, they are pulling your dowel.
posted by warbaby at 7:30 AM on August 27, 2010
It's real and yes, they are pulling your dowel.
posted by warbaby at 7:30 AM on August 27, 2010
This robot is so darn cute I'd like to give him a hug, but he'd probably mistake me for a giant sock and murder me with his sock pole.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:03 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:03 AM on August 27, 2010
Huh. I didn't see the 'sexual' connotations at all until I started reading the thread. Funny.
I think working with cloth or any kind of deformable material is difficult for a robot because it doesn't behave in a completely predictable way, like sold objects would.
posted by delmoi at 8:23 AM on August 27, 2010
I think working with cloth or any kind of deformable material is difficult for a robot because it doesn't behave in a completely predictable way, like sold objects would.
posted by delmoi at 8:23 AM on August 27, 2010
Or else it gets the hose again?
posted by klangklangston at 8:34 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by klangklangston at 8:34 AM on August 27, 2010
"...imagine a robot putting a sock on a pole forever."
posted by Legomancer at 9:07 AM on August 27, 2010
posted by Legomancer at 9:07 AM on August 27, 2010
Yes, this is the same type of robot used for Towel Folding Robot. It's from Willow Garage, a robotics company that gave eleven of these to research schools around the country, on the condition that the programs they develop for the robots be open source.
wikipedia on willow garage
willow garage previously on the blue
It can play pool among other things.
And I think the choice of sock color and pattern suggests they fully intended the video to be naughty.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:24 AM on August 27, 2010
wikipedia on willow garage
willow garage previously on the blue
It can play pool among other things.
And I think the choice of sock color and pattern suggests they fully intended the video to be naughty.
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:24 AM on August 27, 2010
I want to see the prototypes that just mauled the shit out of that sock.
posted by Legomancer at 9:41 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Legomancer at 9:41 AM on August 27, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh my, that was the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. I want to watch it again, but I'm afraid that the people nearby will want to see it too. I don't think I could explain myself.
Also, the robot needs to say Ta-Da! in slow robo-voice every time it lifts its arms.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:35 PM on August 27, 2010
Also, the robot needs to say Ta-Da! in slow robo-voice every time it lifts its arms.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:35 PM on August 27, 2010
I heard somewhere that matching and sorting socks is a very difficult task for a robot to grasp, but I can't remember why.
Because they don't have feet.
I'm waiting for the endless animated gif.
posted by chairface at 4:26 PM on August 27, 2010
Because they don't have feet.
I'm waiting for the endless animated gif.
posted by chairface at 4:26 PM on August 27, 2010
I have a really dumb question. I can't tell from the video whether it is a real, actual robot or a cgi animated movie. Is it real?
Yes it's real. But the video is sped up 15 times faster than the speed at which the robot actually moves because nobody wants to watch it carefully analyze its camera images and slowly and deliberately execute its motion plan while constantly re-evaluating at every step for 15 minutes, which is why it looks rather cartoonish at times.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:10 PM on August 27, 2010
Yes it's real. But the video is sped up 15 times faster than the speed at which the robot actually moves because nobody wants to watch it carefully analyze its camera images and slowly and deliberately execute its motion plan while constantly re-evaluating at every step for 15 minutes, which is why it looks rather cartoonish at times.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:10 PM on August 27, 2010
The jacking off aside, that is pretty cool. It makes me wonder how much programming goes into tasks that are so simple for a human. Matching a towel > 15 minutes of hard work. Figuring out foot-long equations > milliseconds.
Anyway, let me go ahead and get my favorite quote from the last time this lab was posted about here:
I love how the robot doesn't even have a head, but I still see it lifting up the towel like, "Whaaaa the fuuuck is this?" And then it folds it and comes back and it's like, "Whaaaa the fuuuck is this?" And again...
It at least seemed a little less bewildered this time.
posted by codacorolla at 5:23 PM on August 27, 2010
Anyway, let me go ahead and get my favorite quote from the last time this lab was posted about here:
I love how the robot doesn't even have a head, but I still see it lifting up the towel like, "Whaaaa the fuuuck is this?" And then it folds it and comes back and it's like, "Whaaaa the fuuuck is this?" And again...
It at least seemed a little less bewildered this time.
posted by codacorolla at 5:23 PM on August 27, 2010
Check out this ice cream serving robot! (Warning: painful and slow, but in a funny way.)
posted by iamkimiam at 6:16 AM on August 28, 2010
posted by iamkimiam at 6:16 AM on August 28, 2010
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